After receiving the call on his cell from Aris, asking him to meet her in Central Park, Bear grinned lightly as he turned around and glanced out the apartment window to see Central Park right there. "Alright, that's way too easy..." Bear laughed lightly, turning and walking to the door of his new shared apartment with Calley, he grabs his Trench Coat from the coat hanger on the wall and throws it over his shoulders, cringing slightly at the still unhealed wound on his side and shoulder. "Gah, knife wounds take too long to heal..."

A moment later, Bear opens the door to the apartment and walks out, making sure to check for his key and making sure to lock the door behind him. He heads down the hallway and presses a button on the wall, waiting for an elevator. A short ride down and Bear exits the elevator and heads out through the lobby of the apartment building, giving a nod to the doorman before walking across the street and heading into central park. She wanted it to be a private conversation... Hmmm deep into Central Park I go... Bear smiled politely to people as he passed them up, happy he could hide who and what he was so easily in the open. A few minutes passed by and Bear found himself deep in central park, sitting on a park bench, waiting for his good friend to arrive.

The twiddling of his thumbs began, him knowing he was at least 5-10 minutes ahead of Meld in the amount of time it took him to get to his destination. He sat back, arms stretched out across the bench and layed his head back, eyes closed. His brain racing with thoughts of why she'd called him and why she wanted their meeting to be a private one. It could have something to do with the night at the bar, or it could be something to do with his meeting with Abyss, or even his findings about The Order. All of it too much to really think about at the same time and all of it a lot to deal with in the short amount of time since he's been in New York City.

Bear could feel himself slowly drift off to sleep as he sat in the peaceful innards of Central Park, no joggers jogging by him, no dogs barking 10 feet from him. It seemd this was an area only approached by people wanting to have sex in a public place without getting caught. The sleep started and the dreams began, Bear found himself again in Central Park, feeling like nothing had changed, he was sitting on the Park Bench still. Bear slowly stands up from the bench and looks around, nothing is moving, no wind is blowing and everything is still, for the moment. He walks slowly through the park, forgetting why he was there and looks around, he sees people finally and heads in their direction. They look at him horrified and run off, "What's going on? Why are you afraid of me? I'm just like you..." Bear chases after them, trying to find out what's going on.

The dream continues, still on the chase, Bear sees more people and again they look at him, scream and begin running away. More people and more people, all with the same reaction to seeing him. Bear is now chasing all of them looking for answers despite not really wanting to chase anymore. The begin to get away and Bear looks at his arm where his previous knife wound was and sees scars going up his arm like tiger stripes. No open wounds, he looks to his other arm and sees the same thing, he's no longer wearing his coat or a shirt for that matter. "What's going on?" Bear stops, looking at his arms next to each other. "What happened to me?!" He begins clawing at his own flesh, trying to pull it from his body, his fingers some how find a way under his skin, pain flushes his body before dissipating. He digs his fingers further in and begins tugging, getting stronger. A few moments later, his skin tears and he rips a straight line of flesh clean from his arm, bone showing beneath.

Bear suddenly wakes from the dream, screaming and holding his arms out, looking at them for a moment, hoping it wasnt real. He quickly pulls the sleeve of his jacket up, looking to the arm he ripped open and sees his arm, normal. "Oh god... What was that?" Bear pants lightly, slumping back against the bench, not wanting to think about the dream anymore.

Meld had been given a lot to think about over the past few days, almost to much. It seemed to be almost all she had been doing lately, was sitting in her room contemplating the myriad of ways in which her life had changed. She was a member of The Order now, of course, which was probably the biggest change in her life. Although they hadn't actually asked her to do anything yet, she felt certain that they eventually would and when that happened she was determined to prove her worth. Actually, she hadn't had much contact at all with them yet. But she was in and that was really what mattered. She understood that she was still new and probably not yet trusted. She would have to prove herself to them, and when the time came that they asked for such proof, she would be ready. She was determined to be ready. The Order was the way in which she would change the lives of mutants everywhere, now and in the future. How could any self respecting mutant think to do otherwise? She owed it to those mutants less capable than herself.

And then there was her other plan, to go "bone hunting" as she had put it. Aura had put that idea in her head. She smiled fondly thinking of Aura. She also happened to be the one who had gotten her into The Order and to Sanctuary, for that matter. The two of them seemed to share a bond, a mutual passion for the rights of mutants. Even a few years ago she never would have considered killing to gain the materials she needed for her flesh melds, but she had come to see such a restriction to be counterproductive. She would never be comfortable slaughtering without reason; humans may be less than humans but one didn't slaughter animals without reason either. But, if it furthered the mutant cause to kill a few humans, and those same humans were dangerous, then why not reap the fruits of their labors? There was no use letting good materials go to waste. So really, she was killing two birds with one stone, so to speak, with that plan. They were in the final planning stages of getting that off the ground now.

It was for these reasons that Meld had called her good friend Nick. When she had been younger he was the one she went whenever she had something pressing on her mind. He would listen and often give advice and, even if she didn't end up following his advice, she would feel better about it afterward. So, of course, he was the only one she thought of calling now. It wasn't so much that she was conflicted in her views...it was more that she just wanted a little clarity. Everything had happened so quickly, she just needed a little time to think and make sense of it all and maybe someone to bounce ideas off of. Even after all their time apart, Nick was the only person she trusted enough to share her thoughts and doubts with. She couldn't' afford to appear even the least bit conflicted to her fellow order members; couldn't afford to let them have any doubts in her. The cause was too important for that.

Meld grabbed her jacket and exited the golden gates of Sanctuary. It took a little while for her to flag down a taxi but eventually she managed, got in and made her way to Central Park. The walk to the area in which they had agreed to meet, far from most of the other traffic in the park, was fairly long but she didn't mind so much because it gave her a chance to put her thoughts into order before seeing her friend. Meld took her time, enjoying the solitude and spending a rare moment just reveling in having the air and trees around her.

Upon reaching the agreed upon meeting area, Meld smiled as she saw her friend sleeping peacefully next to a tree. He was so innocent like that. A moment later he awoke screaming. Meld ran up to him, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Nick. Nick. Calm down. It was just a dream. It was just a dream, calm down." She tried to comfort her friend.

>>"Nick. Nick. Calm down. It was just a dream. It was just a dream, calm down."

Nick, heart still beating frantically, looked up from his arms to his good friend and let out a sigh of relief. "It felt real though... I could even feel the pain when I...." He paused a moment, thinking about the dream, scaring himself half to death with the thought of what he'd just seen. "I uh... It was a bad dream Aris... People were afraid of me... I... I was a monster...." He sighed, looking down at his arms again, seeing the scars in his mind.

"Never mind that... What's up? What's going on? I mean... I appreciate the call, and I know you wouldnt call JUST because you needed something... But it sounded like you did, so talk to me Aris. You know I'm here for you, whatever you need of me..." He smiled, scooting over on the bench he was sitting at and patting the spot next to him as he looked up at Aris. "Sit, please, and talk to me..." He tried everything he could to force the nightmare out of his head, but it stayed their, haunting his thoughts.

His arms were covered in scars, people were afraid of him, it seemed this was something that would happen to him if he accepted his abilities. Or at least, that's what he thought would happen if he accepted them. If he let himself believe he was a mutant and that was a good thing, then he thought his body would change itself to make him look more like a mutant. He didnt even bring into account that mutants didnt have to look like mutants to be mutants, but to him, he felt like he had to look like a mutant to be one fully.

Meld continued to try and comfort her friend, seeing that he was plainly distraught over the dream that he had just had. "It's ok," she said. "Its a dream, that's all. Maybe if you told me about it I might be able to help you deal with it, show you that's its only a figment of your overactive imagination." She grinned, trying to keep her tone light. She remembered when her sister had first died and how many nightmares she had had after that fact. She didn't dream much any more, but did believe that dreams were glimpses into the unconscious mind. A dream that had affected her friend so strongly must have been something truly horrific and she knew that he had always feared being looked at as a monster. "You're not a monster," she assured him. "No matter what anyone else says, no matter what your abilities you are not a monster. You're a good person. A much better person than I am."

Meld sighed when asked about why she had called Nick, trying to figure out where to start. "I guess...Is putting a dog down because its dangerous wrong? Does doing so make me a bad person?" Where had that come from? She knew that sometimes killing was the only way to eliminate a dangerous threat, so did she really feel any doubt about it? She didn't think so but maybe she did... She began speaking quickly again, not wanting to dwell upon the acts she had all ready committed and the acts she was likely to commit in the future for the cause and for The Order.

"This stays between us Nick, that's very important." Not that she had any doubts that it wouldn't, but she was suddenly nervous. She really didn't know exactly what she had gotten herself into, did she? She had only the word of Aura to go by about The Order's intentions and Aura's morality was, plainly, somewhat more liberal than her own. She didn't think her friend had lied to her, but what if it wasn't exactly what she saw in her mind? Why hadn't Meld asked her more questions, gotten more details, before agreeing to join? But it was too late to back out now, wasn't it? All she could do was wait for the call to help with the first mission and hope it wasexactly who she thought it was.

"I joined an organization." She paused, not quite sure how to word everything. "They stand for mutant rights. They take...I guess a stance of violence. Elimination of human threats in order to better mutant life everywhere. They think like I do, they're motivated to help mutants and they're willing to do whatever it takes to do so." Talking helped. It helped to assuage her doubts. Of course, what would help most was to actually become involved, to see for herself the good that she believed they could do. "I'm finally going to get a chance to do something for my people, more than just defend myself against a few thugs or run from a few cops." She smiled crookedly at the memory. "I think this could be a very good thing for me." She left an unspoken 'but' at the end of the sentence.

>>"Maybe if you told me about it I might be able to help you deal with it, show you that's its only a figment of your overactive imagination."

Nick thought for a moment about what she had just said and what his dream was... "Well... Ok... I was sitting here in the park, this is how my dream started, and I got up... Nothing was moving, no wind, no nothing... It was silence around me... I had forgotten why I was in this spot so I got up and started walking out of the park... On my way out... I saw some people, and they saw me... They screamed and started running away... I chased, trying to find out what it was... More people and more people all reacting the same way Aris... They were all afraid of me... I eventually looked at my arms..." Nick paused a moment, not liking what he was seeing in his head. "I looked at my arms and saw scars on my arms, everywhere, almost like tiger stripes... I thought I was a freak looking at it... So... I tried to get rid of the scars and.... And... I pulled my own skin off Aris." Nick let out a sigh, not knowing what to think of his dream, all he knew was it scared him.

After listening to what Aris was saying and how she described the Organization she joined and how he knew she was staying at the Sanctuary. Nick knew what she was talking about, he knew who she joined and it hurt him slightly, but at the same time it didnt, because he knew deep down that The Order were the ones that were going to change the future. "Let me guess... This organization you joined.... They're called "The Order"?" Nick paused, waiting for an answer that he already knew.

"I've heard some bad things about them Aris, I've heard some really bad things from the mouth of a person that was already there... I wont give any names because I think they want to stay anonymous... But... Bad things... Very bad things Aris... The Order has the right idea, but they go about it the wrong way..." Nick sighed, looking to his friend, watching her face to see how she responds to the things he had just said. "I can tell you what I've been told... If you want... But like you said, this conversation stays between us..." He could feel the tension in the air, tension that wasnt created by either of them, it was tension created by the name itself, tension created by this... Organization...

Meld listened carefully as her friend described the dream he had just had and could well understand why he found it to be so disturbing. It would have disturbed her, and she didn't have the same fear of being known as a mutant or a "freak" as Nick did. "Nick, I think your dream was your unconscious mind playing upon your own fears. You worry about people seeing you as a freak so that's what your mind showed you, maybe because you finally see the way they act towards me. As for your scarred arms," she shrugged. "That might be one of your fears too. Think about it, your power activates when you're hurt and what happens if you ever need to activate your power to defend yourself or the people you care about? Maybe what you're most afraid off is accepting and even embracing what you are."

"Let me guess... This organization you joined.... They're called "The Order"?" Meld startled briefly. "You know of The Order?" The more she heard from Nick the more concerned she became. What kind of terrible things could The Order have done? Surely they had to have been necessary though, right? Sometimes you had to do bad things for the greater good, after all. And if Nick had gotten this information from someone who was a former Order member, maybe he had some sort of vendetta against them? That seemed possible. And even if things were exactly as Nick had said...there really wasn't much of alternative if she wanted to make a difference, was there?

"You don't need to tell me who told you this," Meld finally said. "But just tell me, do you consider them to be reliable? "You and I both know that sometimes bad things need to be done for the greater good. In the war between humans and mutants there is going to be bloodshed, whether we want it or not, its unavoidable. And I have to do something, you understand that, right? Even if The Order is as you say, how can I not take a stand and do something? How can I not at least try?"

Meld felt the tension keenly as they spoke. Nothing Nick could say would change her resolve, but if what he said was true she might have to change some of her plans. There were so many things to consider. "Nick, have you heard of a place called The Mansion?" That was a name she had heard mentioned more than once in her short time int eh city, though she hadn't given it much thought until now. Given the revelations about The Order she suddenly wanted more information.

"That may very well be the case Aris, it makes sense... I just... I dont know what to think about it... The scars scare me but at the same time.. They intrigue me... Like you said, what if I have to protect someone I care about or defend myself and I want to be strong enough to do it without having to nearly be killed before the fight even begins... Like I did the other night, pressing my thumb into my shoulder and causing myself pain... Getting stronger through... Self mutilation.." Nick thought about it, and as he said, it scared and intrigued him, making him almost consider doing what his dream had him portrayed as. But, just as soon as Nick began to consider it he shook his head quickly, shooting it out of his head, or rather into the back of his mind.

>>"You know of The Order?"

She said it with some fear and excitement at the same time, or at least that's the tone he caught in her voice when he mentioned knowing of them. Calley seemed to be a reliable source so he decided he should spill some of the stuff they did. "I know you didnt ask me to tell you some of the stuff he told me but I figure I should anyways.... And yes I agree that sometimes bad things need to be done for the greater good." Did he really agree? There was no way of telling at the current moment in time, he hadnt done anything bad enough to even be considered bad in his mind. "And I also think he is a rather reliable source... Or at least the most reliable source I can find at the moment... He told me he saw them do the things he said..." Nick paused a moment trying to gather his thoughts.

"He told me that The Order has experimented on humans, usually letting them die by the time the experiments were done... I guess trying to find some stuff out, I cant really say exactly what they did because he didnt tell me that part... But that's not the worst part of it..." Nick paused again, letting these things sink in a bit for Aris before continuing to the bad part. "They also experimented on Mutants... They would go out, kidnap mutants or humans, bring them back to wherever it is their base of operations is, probably The Sanctuary or their front... I cant remember the name of that... And they'd experiment on them... For the mutants, I guess they tried to see what their bodies could take or how far they could advance their abilities somehow..." Nick felt sick to his stomach thinking about that.

"I've heard of it Aris... And they're the kinds of people that want mutants and humans to live together in peace. From what I understand, they dont really do anything... They're the kinds of people that would rather talk and talk and talk and never resolve any major issues if what I've heard and assumed is right... Dont take my word for it about them... I'm just trying to pull my thoughts together on them... I dont know enough about the different factions to even formulate an informed opinion on them sadly... I just... I dunno... Maybe we should check this stuff out a little further at some point.." Nick looked around the park, hoping nobody was around that would hear the things that he was saying.

The more Nick told her about what he had heard about The Order the more uneasy Meld became. It was one thing to be willing to do bad things and even to kill to to do what you knew was right. It was quite another to experiment upon humans and, even worse, upon fellow mutants. Maybe, maybe there might me some justification in experimenting on humans. After all, animals were experimented on all the time in the pursuit of science and to find cures for deadly diseases. It might have been a distasteful practice, but sometimes it was was necessary. If it was for a good cause, and there were no other alternatives, then Meld might have been able to accept such a thing, though she didn't think she could ever be a part of it herself. But experimenting on other mutants? Such a thought made her sick to her stomach. It was reprehensible. Why hadn't Aura told her about such things?

But then it occurred to her, that Aura probably didn't know about those particular details. She couldn't imagine the woman accepting the idea of mutants being experimented on any more than Meld could accept it. If anything, she seemed even more dedicated to the Mutant cause than Meld herself was, even if she had a far more casual view on human life. Should Meld tell her new friend what she had just discovered from her oldest friend? So many dilemmas. If she mentioned something then she might forfeit her place among The Order and she didn't actually KNOW that any of this was true, not for certain. And even if it was...

"I can't give up on The Order before I even begin," Meld said finally. "Maybe your source misinterpreted what he saw, or maybe that was a rogue faction within The Order. I don't know. But I do know that I'm not willing to leave, not unless I see for myself that which forces me to leave. Even if everything is as your source says it is, and I'm not convinced that it is, that doesn't mean The Order is all bad. The one who brought me in, I know her motivations are good. She wouldn't lie to me. If it comes down to it then I will fight against even the injustices that my new organization may be involved in. This is too important to be scared off by a few stories, horrible though they may be. There may come a time, Nick, that I may need your help. I need to know that if that time comes you'll be there for me." She knew she was asking a lot of her friend, but this went far beyond just the two of them.

"I think The Mansion too might be something I need to see for myself." Of course the idea of mutants living in peace with humans was a ridiculous pipe dream. The humans would never allow that to come to reality. "They might be ignorant fools but they're still mutants and...with everything you've told me tonight...I don't know, it might be good to have allies outside of ourselves and The Order. Not that you actually have any allies in The Order other than me, of course," she was quick to add. Meld wasn't sure what all of this boded yet but it seemed prudent to get to know other mutants as well, maybe understand they're motivations. Although she didn't regret her decision, she did think she had been hasty in accepting a position among The Order so quickly. She should have learned more first. Well, it might be a little late to change her decision now, but the least she could do was educate herself from sources both inside and outside her new organization. It couldn't hurt to at least check out thins Mansion, could it?

"I understand Aris, and I'm not asking you to give up on them... I just wanted you to know the things that I was told... Whatever the outcome of the current situation is though... I know you, and I know where you want things to go... And I'd have to agree with your viewpoint on the whole situation. Something needs to be done for mutants to have rights... And part of that something is NOT experimenting on mutants or humans... So yes, when the time comes, I'll be there for you... You know I would've been there for you sooner but things prevented that... So I'm here for you now, whenever you need me and for whatever you need of me.." Nick smiles lightly at what he had just said, knowing that he meant every word of it, even the part of something needing to be done for mutants to have rights.

"Yeah, we should probably take a look at The Mansion, I personally just kinda wanted to stay out of there, simply because it sounds kinda like a cult to me... But hey, it'll be fun to see for myself then poke fun at them later with you..." Nick laughs lightly, knowing that's probably exactly whats going to happen. "Eventually though, we'll have allies and I know I'm going to be working on that... Maybe I'll talk to my friend and see if we can acquire an ally in him... Who knows... But remember, this is all going to take time Aris, and hopefully we have a lot of that... Do you know anything about the members of The Order? What kind of people are in the group? Who would we have to watch out for? Who would we be able to make an alliance with? If not... I think we need to find that out..."

Nick leaned forward on the bench, his elbows on his thighs and his hands folded together in front of him. "It's not bad to be a mutant right?" Nick looked over at Aris slowly, his face held down with weight from his sorrow and his not knowing what to really think about the whole situation. "I mean... Part of me doesnt want to be what I am... But part of me tells me it's the greatest thing in the world... It tells me that when I was 15, and found out about myself, that was the greatest thing that could ever happen to me... But... The other part tells me I'm a freak, it tells me everyone else like me is a freak... And sometimes I agree... And that's what scares me... I dont want to think I'm a freak but I cant help it.." Nick felt his eyes watering a bit and he did the best he could simply to hold them back.

"You dont think I'm a freak right? No... Of course you dont, you're proud of what you are... You're proud... Of being perfect..." Nick smiled lightly at her, thinking she was perfect in every way, not just because she was a mutant. "Why am I like this? Why did our parents talk so poorly about mutants? Why does everyone hate us? I mean... We have maybe 1 person out of every thousand normal humans that is a mutant supporter... We're outnumbered Aris, even if we pull all of the mutants together to form one massive army, and even if we pull in every mutant supporter... We're outnumbered like 10 to 1 Aris... What hope do we have?"

It was a relief to hear that her old friend was going to stand by her side no matter what. She knew that he would, of course, she hadn't doubted that for a second, but just hearing him come out and say it made her feel better about the situation. The two of them could accomplish anything together, no matter what obstacles stood before them, no matter how big the potential problems they had to overcome, if they were able to stay united they would be able to succeed. They might not be able to do so alone, but one way or another they would be able to do so.

Meld laughed at Nick's description of The Mansion. She honestly hadn't heard more than just a couple of casual mentions of the name and when she went to look it up, it didn't sound so different than what Sanctuary was: a place for mutants to go and be safe. Or at least, it didn't sound so different than what Sanctuary was supposed to be. Obviously it was a little more than that and by the sounds of things, The Mansion was as well. "I don't yet know much about the Order. The only person I've talked to much is Aura, the one who brought me in. I think we might be able to count on her help, if it comes to it. I plan to keep my eyes and ears open. Once I prove my worth and my trust, I'll hopefully be able to learn more. We definitely will need to find ourselves some allies. First, though, I think its more important to find ourselves some first hand information."

Meld gave Nick a penetrating, searching look when he began asking if it was bad to be a mutant. She placed her hand on his back, trying to be comforting. "Of course its not bad to be a mutant. Its the way you were born, the way both of us were born. How can something that's not your fault be bad? Its human prejudice and human fear that causes you to doubt yourself. Learn to embrace what you are; you are better than any mere human. You are a mutant. Learn to be proud of it." Meld smiled. "Even if you are a freak, why should that be a bad thing? So what if your a freak, it makes you unique, nothing else. Freak doesn't mean bad, freak means different. If you can embrace the term it no longer has the power to harm you. Who coud call me anything but a freak?" Meld grinned flexing her metal hand.

"But no, Nick, I don't think you're a freak," she said serious once more. "I can't say why your like that, why any of us are. But like our parents are the way they they are because they're afraid. They see that humans are dying out, that mutants are the next evolutionary step and they don't know what to do about it. So instead of accepting it, they lash out and say and do horrible things. But we know the truth, you and I and, as imperfect as it may be, those of The Order. We might be outnumbered by them, but in the end its inevitable that we will be the ones to inherit the earth. Us. Mutants. You and I just need to do our part to further it along and make the transition as smooth as possible."

She wished she could do more to help her friend and hoped her words were enough. It broke her heard every time she heard Nick doubting what he was, doubting his worth and being ashamed. It made her angry how much his parents and her own, and all those humans like them, had broken his self confidence and made it so difficult to accept the simple truth that he was someone special.

Nick sat back and listened to Aris, not really knowing how to respond to her or what to think, he knew his mind still raced with thoughts of not wanting to be a mutant, a 'freak' but his mind also raced with thoughts of wanting to be nothing but. He wanted to embrace what and who he was, he wanted to have the strength to stand up for himself, Aris and all mutants alike, he wanted to have the strength to be what he was supposed to be. But who really has that strength, who has the strength to be a strong person, who has the strength to stand up for what they believe in? Who has the strength to be a good person but be willing to do bad things? Who has the strength to kill and have it mean something to them, yet mean nothing at the same time? Who has the strength?

Nick could think of a few people in the history of the world that had showed any strength similar to that which he wanted to have. Nobody really had all of those strengths.... Except mutants for some reason... He couldnt explain it, some men or women would have the strength to stand up for what they believed in, but most wouldnt kill... Some had the strength to kill but it wasnt for standing up for what they believe in... Some had the strength to be a good person but not do the bad things that were required of them... Except mutants, mutants could kill and kill for a cause, mutants could have the right idea in their minds, and continue doing bad things just to reach that goal... Mutants had the strength, and Nick was a mutant. He could see all of the people that the tabloids and newspapers and news casts were talking about in his head at the same time, he could see them all... And he was standing their with them, right next to Aris.

NO! That's not what it's supposed to be! Mutants are.... Freaks, they're not right, not natural... They started because of some lab experiment gone terribly, terribly wrong... That's it, God didnt make mutants he just allowed them to continue on through breeding. Yeah that's exactly what happened. No... No that's not what happened, mutants were born naturally, the X-Gene is in everyone and it's just more active in some than it is in others. Science has proven it... Hasnt it? "Aris, I dont know what to believe... I'm constantly fighting with myself, it's like I've got two people in my head fighting for control and I dont know who's going to win or who I want to win. Which one? The one that is proud of being a mutant? Or the one that considers himself a dirty freak and just wants to go back into hiding... It's so hard to choose Aris, I dont know what to do..." Nick shifted forward again, bringing his hands up to hold his head as he fought himself back and forth in his head, fighting for control, fighting for someone to win out and decide his fate.

"No matter what happens Aris," Nick spoke softly from his hands. "No matter who wins, I'll still help you as long as I'm alive..." Nick sighed lightly, not looking up from his hands as tears were forming, he didnt like not having control over his own head. He didnt like not knowing what was going to happen to him or in his head. He didnt like the situation and didnt like the people he would inevitably have to fight... He didnt like it at all.... None of it..