Tarin's breathing was coming and going in short, strangled gasps as the scene continued to play itself out in his mind. It was like he was there...somewhere, deep down, he knew it was simply a flash back, his subconscious pushing itself forward as the jogger's footsteps brought a memory that wasn't even really his to the forefront of his mind. Eyes squeezed shut didn't help though, and Tarin leaned his forehead against the cool concrete of the bridge, waiting and hoping that things would play out.

Lee's voice...Tarin could hear Lee's voice and it was like a hand hold on the sheer face of a cliff. Lee hadn't been there that night, and that meant that nothing he was remembering was real...well maybe it was real, but it wasn't happening as he stood there on the bridge. He could feel the anticipation though, remember what it was like to see his prey running right towards him. Tarin didn't want to think about it anymore though, didn't want to remember it, he forced his eyes open and stared at the concrete just inches from his face. His whole body was shaking and he was light headed from his hyperventilation.

"I think...I'm okay..." he panted, not moving his head from its place on the cool concrete. Standing straight took a little effort and Tarin could see that Lee was worried, hesitating to touch him. "It's not that..." he sighed, shaking his head and running a hand over his forehead as he broke out in a cold sweat. He couldn't look at her, not after what he'd just remembered, he didn't deserve to look at her.

"The jogger...I remembered..." he said, struggling to form the words and staring off into the dark. "It wasn't you...just the jogger." Tarin ran his hand through his hair again, gripping it slightly, "I didn't think I could remember those things...I guess I really was there." he said, almost more to himself than to Lee.

Tarin's breathing was becoming more and more worrisome, but otherwise he didn't move from where he was leaning against the wall on the side of the bridge for what felt like forever, and so Lee didn't move either, her hand still hovering just a couple inches away from his cheek. She wanted to reach out, to do whatever she was able to do to help him with whatever it was that he was suddenly going through, but at the same time Lee was terrified about what that touch might do, might cause.

Finally though, Tarin spoke, slowly struggling to stand up, and told her that it wasn't 'that'. Breathing a huge sigh of relief, Lee closed the distance between her hovering hand and Tarin's cheek, her warm hand on his clammy skin. What the hell's going on? Lee wondered as she looked at Tarin, who was avoiding her gaze.

That question was answered a moment later as Tarin continued speaking. Lee didn't even know what she was thinking or feeling from that point on. Horror, yes, there was horror there as her mind imagined what it was Tarin was remembering. Worry was there too; he had had such a hard time in those first few weeks she had been back because of what had happened, what was this going to do to him?

They hadn't simply gone for a walk in forever...when Tarin went to go get coffee, he walked an extra two blocks to get it from a shop on the street rather than a closer vendor in the park...Lee had read and heard, not from Tarin, but had heard, that most of the attacks had taken place in the park...

"Oh my god..." Lee murmured, closing the remaining distance between her and Tarin, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug, pulling his head against her shoulder. "I'm sorry...I didn't even think...Do you want to head home?"

The vividness of the memory was starting to fade, but Tarin had a feeling he wasn't going to forget what he saw for a long time. Probably never.

As he stood, his head continued to spin and he closed his eyes, waiting for his breathing to even out so hopefully the vertigo would stop. Eyes close, the images began to assault him again. He could remember how it had felt to grab the woman, hold her down.

Lee spoke again, and Tarin clung to her voice the same way he had before. Then he felt her, Lee pulled him into a hug and Tarin pulled him close...tight. He felt her hand on the back of his head and buried his face in her shoulder, shuddering.

"We don't have to leave Lee.." he said, voice muffled by Lee's shoulder, "I don't want to ruin the night...everything has been so perfect." But despite his words, Tarin clung even tighter to Lee, "I don't want to know these things Lee...feel these things. I can remember what it was like...she didn't stand a chance..." he was clinging now, trying not to have a clinical quality breakdown in the middle of central park.

"I'm so sorry Lee..."

As soon as she had her arms around him, Lee felt Tarin clinging to her, holding her even tighter than she was holding him, burying his head in her shoulder.

Tarin was right, though. This had been a perfect night so far, everything had gone amazingly, had gone right, had felt awesome until this point. But it was them, perfect moments didn't exactly last for them. Something was bound to have gone wrong, to have ruined their perfect night. But really, this? Did it really have to be something so bad?

"I know you don't want to," Lee said softly into Tarin's ear as she hugged him. "But maybe we should. There's lots of places we can walk. Come on..."

Giving Tarin a last tight squeeze, she pulled out of the hug, though kept one arm wrapped tightly around his waist. And then she started them walking slowly, continuing down the way they had been going; there was a path just a little ahead that led out of the park, she knew, that would end up being a shorter trip than going back the way they had come.

Every couple of steps, Lee glanced over at Tarin. He seemed to be doing a bit better, not quite as bad as he had been at first - he was upright and walking - but he still seemed to not be even close to ok.

Seeing a bench up ahead, Lee made a decision and directed their steps toward it. "Let's just sit for a bit, ok hon?" Lee asked as she pulled them to a stop.

Lee pulled away and Tarin had a slight moment of panic when the contact between them broke. It was terrifying to him not to have her there with him, to anchor him. So he could know for sure that it wasn't going to happen again and if it did, she'd be there to make it better.

The panic only lasted a second though, and Lee really hadn't moved that far away from him. Tarin laced his arm around Lee's waist and nodded his head as she started him walking.

They were still walking deeper in the park, and Tarin started to feel better as they moved, at least physically. Mentally, Tarin worried as they moved further into the park, what if they came up on another jogger, or another spot that triggered another memory. Tarin suddenly doubted whether or not he could handle two in one night. They turned though, and Tarin realized where they were, that they were actually moving out of the park.

Relief that was almost as intense as the former panic gushed through him, and Tarin took a deep, albiet shaky breath. His hands were still shaking though, and trembles ran through his body at odd intervals. The cold sweat he'd broken out into seemed to be subsiding though and the cool autmn air was clearing his head of all the horrible thoughts.

Lee was guiding them towards a bench at the edge of the park, suggesting that they sit down for a few moments and Tarin nodded his head. "That would probably be a good idea."

To the bench Tarin went, sitting down and leaning back against the cool wood of the seating apparatus. Elbows on knees, Tarin held his head in his hands for a few moments then sat back again turning to Lee and grabbing her hand, "I'm so sorry I flaked out on you Lee. I don't know what just happened. It was terrifying..." Tarin paused and ran his free hand through his hair which was a thorough mess between the sweat and all the hand running.

"It was even more terrifying because the memory is absolutely filled with glee...it makes me sick to my stomach Lee..."

Lee made sure that Tarin was on the bench first before she turned to move and sit beside him. By the time she had, Tarin was leaning forward, his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. If she didn't already know that something was very wrong, that would have told her.

Before she could even really move, Tarin was leaning back once more and grabbing her hand. Then he was speaking, and his words brought up memories of her own, memories she wasn't sure Tarin would remember. Her walking into the apartment and firing the taser at him. The pain as he was pulling her across the kitchen by the hand hold he had in her hair. The bedroom she had walked into when. The look in his eyes when he was saying that she'd have to kill Tarin to get rid of the murdering spirit controlling him.

The knowledge that, though she didn't want to kill Tarin, she was not about to let that evil spirit who had merged with him go.

Lee couldn't suppress the slight shudder that coursed through her body. After a couple of attempts to swallow the lump that had also formed in her throat, she looked over at Tarin and squeezed his hand. "I know, hon," she said softly. "Believe me, if anyone does, I know. But that bastard isn't going to come back. I won't let him."

Tarin didn't see Lee's reaction as she shuddered at memories of her own from the time when his mind and body had not been his own. He was still staring out into the darkness of the park and trying to piece together how exactly he was going to deal with the things he was feeling. "I was naive to think that I'd never have to face these things." he said softly.

Lee was trying to reassure him that the murderous spirit who'd caused all this trauma wasn't going to come back, but he looked at her intently before shaking his head slowly, "I know he's not going to come back Lee. It's not him I'm worried about. Did you know that the other day when I was walking in here I ran into someone that I'd gone after with a knife I didn't remember any of it Lee." Tarin said, dropping his gaze to the ground again for a few moments before looking back out into the darkness. "She gave me the benefit of the doubt when I didn't deserve it. She should have gone running to the police, and I'm really lucky she didn't simply finish me off that night...if lucky is the right word."

Suddenly Tarin realized that he was sitting there, on a night that was to have been delightful and a treat, but would now simply go down as the night he'd made a scene in the park. "I'm so sorry Lee." he said again, looking at her pleading and apologetic. "This was supposed to be such a special night." he dropped his head into his hands again, "I'm sorry that I ruined it with all this. It just caught me so off guard. The nightmares are one thing, those I can cope with, I've always had to, but trying to deal with it while I'm awake too?" he said though his voice was muffled, "I just don't know how to deal with this."

Tarin said up slowly, picking up Lee's hand which he had dropped at some point while he spoke, "I'll make this night up to you Lee, I promise." he said sincerely, "Cheesecake every day for a month?"

As Tarin spoke, mentioning an incidence from just a few days ago that he had yet to tell her about, at least until that moment, Lee's eyes widened, her heart felt like it stopped beating for a couple seconds. When it did start beating again, feeling so much faster than it had been beating before, Lee found her breath was also coming much faster, shallower.

"You..." Lee started saying, then lost her voice. It didn't really matter, though, since she wasn't sure what else she would have said. All the possible consequences of what Tarin had just told her, of what had apparently happened a couple days earlier, were still crashing down around her head. It took a couple attempts at swallowing before she was able to speak again. "Why didn't you tell me?

"Tarin, I love you. I want to help you," Lee continued, her voice growing stronger with each word. "You know that, right? I'm not sure how to help, but I want to try. And I can't do that if you don't tell me these things, hon."

But then Tarin was apologizing, looking into her eyes for the first time since before the kiss on the bridge. So Lee just held his gaze; when things got bad like this, Tarin tended not to look at her unless he was trying to make her promise something., though that wasn't the case this time. She could only hope that things were on their way to being good again, even if it would take a while to get there.

And then he came up with a way to make the disaster the night had become up to her, and Lee couldn't help the bit of a laugh that came out. "Throw a couple dinners in there too, and you've got yourself a deal," Lee counter offered, a slight smile on her face. "You looked really great tonight until you went and royally screwed up your hair."

Tarin could tell that Lee was upset, probably because he hadn't brought up the incident with the woman in the park. Lee confirmed that quickly and Tarin shrugged his shoulders at her question, "I didn't know that this was going to happen." he paused and shrugged, "Things were going so well, I didn't want to bring all this up. Seeing her didn't do anything to me except make me feel kind of like a piece of shit. So I was just trying to let it go and move on."

Lee went on talking, telling him that she wanted to try to help. Explaining that she couldn't do that if he didn't keep her informed about things. "I know that Lee, and if I'd have had any idea that meeting that woman would bring this on?" he said, gesturing to indicate what had happened in the park, "I'd have told you the second I saw you. Like I said, I was just trying to keep things going in the right direction instead of dwelling in the past. I guess that's not an option now though." He paused, "And I love you too." he said with feeling.

Lee caught the tone of his offer for cheesecake and agreed...with stipulations of course. "Dinners too?" he asked, eyebrows raising almost to his hairline, "You drive a hard bargain lady. I'll have to see what I can do about it though."

She complimented him and Tarin smiled, then brought a tentative hand up into his hair which indeed felt more like a rat's nest than his crowning glory.

"Wow..." was all he could say for a moment, then he turned to look at Lee, "I think you know how I felt about how you look. It always amazes me how I think I've prepared myself when we're going out. Then you walk out of that door and every time I feel like a thirteen year old who's just walked into a room of Vegas showgirls."

Tarin leaned back against the back of the bench again and shook his head, hand reaching for his hair. Pausing, he shook his head, "We'll get there Lee. One day it's going to be all this and none of the bad."

The memory was still fresh and the thought of it made Tarin shudder slightly. There was probably more to come, and there was one memory that Tarin never, ever wanted to see. That night, the night that had ended up bringing Lee back.

Tarin shook it off though, looking at Lee for a moment and trying to decide if he was going to tell her. He shook it off. That was going to be something to deal with when the time came.

Lee smiled when she heard Tarin's seeming reluctance to her suggestion for adding dinners to his way of making up for how the night went.

But then he continued on, talking about how he felt each and every time he saw her after she'd gotten ready to go out, and Lee couldn't stop the blush that sprang to her face. It didn't seem to matter how many times he told her things like that, she still blushed. Lee couldn't help but wonder if she'd even stop blushing when he said things like that.

"I know we will, Tarin," Lee said softly, wrapping her arms around the closest of his arms and leaned her head against his shoulder. "Hopefully it'll be sooner rather than later, but I know we will."

Because she was touching him, leaning against him, Lee didn't see the look on Tarin's face, but she did feel the shudder that ran through Tarin. He didn't say anything, though. Because of what had already happened, Lee knew the shudder had to be because of memories, but she had no idea what one. She wasn't entirely sure she wanted to know.

"Come on hon, let's go home," Lee suggested after a minute of sitting in silence. "It's getting chilly out here."