Zek grinned at his pal’s greed. “I dunno, I’d say that hat is pretty priceless now,” he chuckled. Then his jaw dropped a bit when endless handkerchiefs started coming out. “No flippin’ way!” he said, a spike of jealousy flooding him.

“I mean, it’s not that cool,” Zek said, immediately trying to act aloof. “Not even a rabbit in there.” He wasn’t immediately regretting his generosity. Nope, not at all. Not at all. He didn’t regret giving up a hat that did more than just hold winged mice and smelly smoke bombs.

Because that would be petty.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Zek said, holding a hand up over his head. A ball of golden light appeared in his hand. “Here’s an idea. Why don’t we got track them down and just take all of our stuff and everything else they have?” Maybe they’d have more magician stuff. Or jewels or something. “Maybe they’ll have more magician stuff. Or Jewels or something.”

He stepped up onto the edge of the rooftop and held a hand out to Carpenter. “Whaddya say we hunt these bozos down?”

”Right!?!” he retorted quickly his hand still pulling the scarf. Each color led to the next and then back again. This was better than the disco staff. Even if it could make a smokescreen for a show. ”Ya think this thing can make a smokescreen like the staff?” he asked with childlike wonder and grinning from ear to ear. There had to be a rabbit in here at least.

”I know, still nice ta hear it every now and then.” he smirked still pulling on the scarfs. By now there was a large pile of multicolored fabric at his feet but he didn’t seem the need to slow down. Not yet. He had to see if there was an end.

”I mean, we could.” he said thinking little of doing what they were discussing being far too distracted with the magical whimsy. He did need pants if he was going to see Amythest later. She preferred him to look his best and Carrick wasn’t sure he could pull off a hat like this without pants. Unless... there were pants in the hat.

His pulling slowed down, not from the discussion of jewels. He had the best one out there already. Something he couldn’t remember if he discussed with his partner in crime but that was a conversation for another time. ”Magical items?” like the hat and disco staff? Could he complete an entire wardrobe? Were magical pants a thing?

”Ya had me at magic, friend.” Carrick said leaning over and scooping all the scarfs he had pulled into the hat. It didn’t seem like they would all fit at first but with a little elbow grease and some shaking of the hat everything disappeared. Flipping the hat in his hand and catching it behind his hat he brandished the accessory and placed it on his head.

”Let’s shake’em down!” in the back of his mind ‘Fight!’

Zek harrumphed. “Harrumph!” he said. “I mean, the smokebomb trick is cool I guess, but nowhere as great as the disco staff.” The last time Carrie had played with said disco staff, he’d made it fill up part of an aquarium with fog. Which was an amazing trick, even if Zek had no idea how he’d done that or how to refill the staff. But he wasn’t going to tell him that!

For a short time, Zek was entirely mesmerized by the pile of endless kerchiefs. It was almost as big as Featherbutt! But finally both idiots got their act together.

“Yes! Magic!” Zek said. He finally dropped his hand because it was clear Karl wasn’t about to take it and join him on an adventure. Even if he did look cool in that hat.

Zek clapped his hands together. “Okay, great! Start sniffing them out and we’ll go get ‘em!” he commanded, reaching through a tiny portal to snag a paper cone with cotton candy on it and returning to Dullworld where he could devour it. “Onward, to vengeance!”

The staff mentioned brought his attention back to both devices, wondering if they were part of a set again. They had to be. They were too cool not to be. He’d get his hands on both of them and whatever else was part of the magic set.

”Not a blood hound! I can’t just....” there was a gust of wind and suddenly he picked up on the scent of fear and confusion. His pupils turned to slits as a result as he adjusted his vision of the night once again. The lights were making it a bit more difficult to focus over longer distances.

”.... Alright so they smell. Bad and well... one of ‘em might have pissed himself a bit.” they were scary. His chest puffed out a bit from the comment as if he was proud of scaring these guys. His stomach growled at the sight of the food materializing from the portal and then he remembered how sick he used to get when he lived at the circus. Maybe he needed a sip from his flask to hold him till...

”Me flask! They have me flask! It was a gift!” tucking the hat a bit lower on his head he dove off cursing, ”****ing cheeky ****s.” in the back of his mind his beast side was shouting frustrated someone was willing to steal something of his.

They weren’t moving fast, they were trying to hide more. Not sure if their pursuers were still chasing them or not. It was only a few buildings over and Carrick lowered wielding his new hat something he figured gave him a bit more flare in the night skyline. ”Ya have something that belongs to me!”

Zek rolled his still-flashing blue and gold eyes. “Obviously you’re not a bloodhound,” he said as his comrade complained once again. “Bloodhounds are devilspawn people eaters and need burned on sight. If you were a bloodhound, I’d’ve already left you in pieces, scattered across the city.” Despite his brave words, Zek still shuddered. Ugh. Bloodhounds.

Besides, Crumpet was better than a stupid dog. Literally anything was better. But Crinkle-cut could also smell like a dog (the guy’s hygiene wasn’t the best, in Zek’s opinion) and track things like a dog so it all worked out.

But then Featherbutt flew off, hot on a scent, leaving Zek alone on their rooftop. “Oi!” he shouted. “I’m giving you a negative airline review for this!” he said, flinging his cotton candy uselessly at the guy. He then held up a white ball and a moment later walked through a portal and off the building.

Ten seconds and a super fast moving sidewalk later, Zek emerged on the rooftop across the street. Fifteen seconds later he was on the rooftop another street over. Ten seconds later he smashed his nose into a wall and had to readjust his portal so it came out higher. Then he fell five feet onto a rooftop.

Meanwhile, the two dastardly dipsticks turned to face their fine feathered foe. “Yer gonna hafta be more specific, mate,” Top Hat shouted. “We take from a lot of people.”

The oily-sounding one chimed in. “Besides,” he sneered nasally, “what are you going to do about it?” He pointed up at the winged guy and suddenly all the air around the flier lost all its friction and all of its ability to generate lift.

Ignoring the negative reviews (his airline had survived several poor reviews and people kept flying with him) and the physical comedy from his friend (he’d laugh about it later). Carrick focused on the pair below him who walked out into view from some ventilation ducts unphased by the fact that their hiding place was discovered.

”Maybe ya need a reminder of the beating ya just got.” Carrick said puffing out his chest and tilting his hat forward. Okay, so it was less of a beating and more of a lucky shot but Carrick continued, ”Ya took our pants and shirts. I happen to have a lot of things in there that I’d like back. Ya know how hard it is to stitch holes fer wings and me tail?” he said lamenting over the effort to make stitches look halfway decent.

”And me friend here would like ta get back his coat as well. Peanut butter n’ All.” he waited for Zek to chime in for a second before there was a sudden shift in the air around him.

The wind literally left his wings and he flapped harder trying to catch some air instinctively but felt nothing his battle with gravity finally tipped in gravity’s favor. ”Ball!” Carrick shouted to Zek hoping he’d catch the message. He was twenty feet over the building everyone was on now. If he wasn’t balled it would have hurt a lot.

One of Zek’s eyes had stopped glowing and was back to a boring brown, but the other one was a solid blue light as he emerged from his final portal. “Oww,” he moaned as he stumbled across the roof. The five foot fall had been surprisingly jarring and his nose smarted.

He perched himself on an air vent and yelled out after Kittyhawk did his thing. “Yeah, and I expect all my peanut butter to still be there, too!” he said. “And if you saw a red letter you can keep that - the Marquise can’t take a hint!”

That was about when Featherbutt Airlines really plummeted in ability.

Zek barely had time to even look at what was happening when suddenly Critter was shouting for a ball.

That was about when Zek realized the Winged Wonder was falling.

“I got you!” he said, throwing a ball of light at his friend. He missed by several feet. “Quit moving!” Zek yelled before another ball hit the roof somewhere probably below Crispy. Just before a hypothetical gryphon would hypothetically hit a figurative building after falling for a metaphorical twenty feet, a ten foot solid white disc appeared.

An orange-ringed portal opened up in Zekworld, right above the pitcher’s mound and pointed up at the mid-day “sky”. There was the perfect amount of air friction, too. Anything that theoretically fell through the rooftop portal would pop out getting launched “up” in Zekworld, where gravity and air friction could bleed away momentum or allow certain people a chance to fly around and re-enter Dullworld at their choosing.

While the portal was open, Zek took the opportunity to write a message on the wall in one of the recreation rooms he’d built in Zekworld.

In his distraction, he didn’t notice the puff of air behind him, but he did notice the punch straight to the back of his head. He flew off the air vent and skidded across the suddenly highly-abrasive rooftop.

But at least the air wasn’t slippery anymore.

This was a fear of his, what was the point of being blessed with beautiful and majestic wings if they were just for show. The roof came up fast, the ball of light zoomed passed him and vanished before his eyes. ”Me! Throw it at me!” he shouted adding falling to his greatest list of fears right next to enclosed spaces. It reminded him how he learned he could fly. Parents.

Carrick looked up instead of down. He didn’t want to see the bones that would more than likely shoot out from his flesh. He’d heal, he was immortal after all but the pain was still very much real. His wings flapped a few more times trying to catch any gust of wind. Nothing. His eyes shut then opened again after he should have impacted with the roof.

”**** me.” was all he could manage after a sigh of relief. His wings caught something and he pulled downward as hard as he could. It was brighter now meaning he was in Zek’s world.

”**** yeah! Good on ya! Nice catch!” his wings opened and Carrick glided down looking back up to the portal. Building up speed he shot back through this time planning on having the air taken from him again. He only built up enough speed to exit the portal and land on his feet.

‘Fight!’ his adrenaline was pumping, his eyes were now cat like slits as a few more of his features looked a bit more feline.

”Ya either get yer ***es kicked by me or by me beasty. Either way you pick!” he said while his chest rumbled out with a growl.

”Zekky no time fer a nap!” he said noticing his friend on the ground.

Zek shook, rattled, and rolled across the rooftop. A gravelly roof was already horrible to fall on, but when the friction was upped by twenty times, even the slightest touches were like scouring pads. The only upside was that Zek didn’t roll very far. He still got to his knees after a struggle, the rooftops acting almost like velcro. It took so much effort just to pick his feet up.

He managed to pull himself to his feet, cursing up a storm. His eyes were now solid red, the faint glow catching on the blood covering his face from the scrapes and scratches of the roof. His nose was on fire and he spat more blood.

He shot a look at his friend but didn’t respond. His face was hard. His flak jacket had protected his torso, but it was scraped up. His cargo pants weren’t in great condition either. His gloveless hands were a raw mess.

His back was to Top Hat, his head on backwards thanks to the extra bones in his neck. He didn’t bother twisting his body around to face Top Hat, but began advancing in short, jerky movements thanks to the increased friction of the rooftop.

Red light coalesced in a hand and it became a duffle bag. He reached into it and light flashed the bag away, leaving him with a crusty metal baseball bat in one hand and a several-foot length of chain in the other.

“Hey you dandy prat,” Zek said with no inflection whatsoever. “Who don’t you come over here and play?”

Zek was bleeding, his clothes damaged and his expression cold. Was... was he going to see Zek pissed? They had been shot at, stabbed at, and even had a Merman try to eat them. Never before had Carrick seen his friend look the way he looked now. Red eye and his neck backwards wielding bat and chain.

The shifters tail flicked behind him curiously. He almost forgot how upset he was. Almost. A low growl added to the challenge. Carrick crouched slightly and started circling the pair. It might have been less intimidating with the top hat but Carrick was determined to make it work.

The ground was heavy to leave with each step that was until his circling got him out of the gaze of the one who had the top hat before Carrick took it. His movement quickened as he was looking at the man’s back and the front of his partner. ‘fight’

”Ya did it now, Zeeky looks pissssed.”

The man who no longer had the top hat scoffed. “'e looks loike a bloody tomato, is what ‘e is.”

Zek started smiling. It stretched very, very wide. Impossibly wide, like an alligator’s. Yet it didn’t reach his eyes. “That’s okay,” he said evenly. “I’ll come to you.” Zek dropped his bat and smashed a ball down at the rooftop and then fell forward through the portal.

He reclaimed his bat in a cinch and after falling a dozen feet, he opened a portal to the side of where the man was at. He burst through and swung his bat hard, but he got only air as the man vanished.

Zek instantly popped open another portal and landed in Zekworld. The ground moved under him and he shot up a dozen feet in the air, where he formed a portal facing the rooftop. He stared down and saw the teleporter had reappeared behind Cuttlefish. “Behind you!” Zek snarled as he hurled his chain toward the teleporter.

Then a holographic Zek handed him a rifle he’d taken from that vampire pool party he’d gone to. Zek took aim at the teleporter and started squeezing the trigger as fast as he could.

Every bullet skewed wildly, as if another man on the room was making the air super abrasive.

It wasn’t the first time they had gotten into a scuffle with someone. In fact if it wasn’t for the fact that he was immortal Carrick might have stopped hanging out with Zek outside of the bars. He was however, under the impression he was immortal so here he was in the line of fire.

Ducking at Zek’s warning the shifter dropped to the ground and rolled the sound of the chain ratteling as it was thrown then some rifle fire. His ears started to ring immedialty and he roared like a pissed off lion, ”More of a warning with guns!”

The bullets seemed to move away from him and the man in front of him. Carrick ignored the other guy and kicked his leg outwards to the tophatless man. His leg buckled and he fell backwards as Carrick snapped his wings in front of him trying to minimize his line of sight.

”**** you!” Carrick said wrapping himself around the man as everything went dark for a moment until he reappeared off of the building still wrapped around the teleporter. They started to fall. Carrick didn’t open his wings or try to stop the fall. They vanished again this time higher then again till they landed on the roof. “Oi, get him off!” he called out to his companion.

Kittyhawk yelled something but Zek couldn’t hear over the sound of the gun. “Sorry, can’t hear you over the sound of the gun!” he shouted back, for once actually glad he didn’t have freaky super-hearing like the Winged Wonder. Turns out, it was a blessing and a curse!

Zek continued firing wildly at people, but once Caspar clasped onto the teleporter and vanished, Zek turned his attention to the other guy, the one who was making it not fun to move through the air. The man was just standing there, an arm outstretched toward Zek, the air slightly blurry around his hands.

“You suck!” Zek yelled as the bullets kept veering wildly as they hit air resistance.

“Nah, man, you suck!” the guy countered, pure annoyance on his face and creamy peanut butter still on a hand. “Who puts peanut butter in their pocket like that?”

“Dudes with excellent taste!” Zek shouted back, tossing a golden light at the man. “But nows it all gonna taste like a stupid guy’s hand and that’s gross!”

THat’s when the teleporter yelled at him. “I’m busy!” the friction guy yelled in a nasal voice. The golden light missed him by a couple of feet and struck the rooftop right behind him. “Figure it out yourseeeeelpppp!!”

The shout turned into a yelp as a big chunk of rooftop vanished from underneath the guy. “Got you!” Zek shouted as the man began falling. Zek leaned back into Zekworld and the portal shut down.

They vanished again right before they hit the ground which was good because Carrick’s wings broke tier fall. Enveloped by feathers they continued to roll around on the ground. Managing to move his hold into a sleeper hold. Something he had become very familiar with thanks to Rangers training, for the first time he was the one putting someone to sleep.

”Yeah!” Carrick said pulling tighter and wrapping his legs around the man and pulling backwards to tighten the hold. ”He’s busy!” there was a tap on his arm as a flash Zek’s ball of light flew overhead. He didn’t see where it landed but heard Zek shout he got him.

”Yer ****’ed now!” the teleporter tapped his arm again and Carrick waited till the tapping stopped before letting go. ‘Kill!’ his adrenaline was pumping he felt the urge to shift but fought it. This was his fight.

”Sleep ya piece of $*&t!” Carrick finally let go and rolled upwards shrugging his shoulders and wings to loosen them up he looked for Zek who just portaled out. ”Got mine!”

A disc of solid white light edge in orange opened in the open office environment that spanned much of the top floor of the building. Zek stepped out of the disc, letting its brightness wash over the suddenly open-air room.

"Oh stuuuupid," Zek sang. "Come out and plaaaa-aaaayyy!"

Silence. At least in the room. Custard and Top Hatless were banging around and yelling all over the roof and immediate airspace. Zek didn't care. He had another part to play. Namely, getting his trenchcoat back.

He stalked past some cubicles and and abruptly spun when he saw the shadow of a plastic potted plant. Golden light flared to life in his hand, but he didn't throw it. Not yet. "I know you're there!" he called.

He walked into the empty space beneath the now-vanished part of the ceiling-roof, where the friction fiend had fallen. "C'mon out, Mr. Slick, and maybe you won't get hurt," Zek lied.

A string of expletives was all he got back in response. "Tsk, tsk," Zek scoffed. "That's not very nice."

"What do you want your coat back for?" a voice shouted from some shadow somewhere. "It's filled with old food and smells funny."

"They're called rations and it smells like a candy store!" Zek snarled back. "Now show yourself! And give me back my trenchcoat!"

"OR you'll what?" the voice said from a different direction. Zek whirled but didn't see anything. He threw the ball anyways, and the passing of the light only briefly illuminated that hallway before falling to the floor and winking out. He made a new light, in addition to the portal's light.

"I will burn this place down around you," Zek hissed. "I will break this place, brick by brick, until there's nowhere for you to hide. Nothing for you to slicken. Then I will break you. Grind you into particulates, defile your remains with salt and feces, and then scatter you in a sewer to dwell for eternity with the rest of the sludge until one day you slide into the ocean and seek to the deep abyssal layers, beyond the slightest touch of the sunlight's grace and lounging in the chill of the depths, awaiting out eternity until the heat death of the universe as beautiful Entropy steals the motion of every atom, every subatomic particle and time itself comes to a halt, making your suffering a truly infinite and all-encompassing tribulation."

Silence.

"Good Lord!" the voice said from behind him. Zek twirled again, a knife in his offhand as he readied his ball to throw. The friction fiend dropped from the ceiling where he'd been crawling toward the hole. He landed gracefully in front of the portal, a perfect silhouette in front of it. He started taking the coat off. "What is wrong with you?" he said. "You know what, this isn't worth all this mess, okay? Here, you can have your stuff back."

Zek didn't move. He just cocked his head, tilting it to an unnatural angle. His irises began to burn red as the guy removed his coat.

"That's not good enough," Zek said quietly. "You did something to me that nobody has done in a very long time," he said, still unmoving. "You owe me so, so much more. You know that old expression, 'an eye for an eye'?"

"You want my jacket too?" the guy said. "You know, fine. You can have it. Then we're good, right?" He had the trench coat off and started stripping his own jacket off.

Zek continued as if the guy didn't say anything. He thought something. "Hammurabi thought too small."

Then the tyrannosaur head of the small drunk dino-shifter Zek had smuggled into Zekworld earlier that night lunged out of Zekworld, sank his steak-knife-like teeth into the fiend's leg and dragged him into the portal before the guy could do more than scream in surprise. The scream cut off as the man passed through the portal.

Zek smiled tightly. He walked over and picked up his trenchcoat.

Not long after that, a portal opened on the roof and Zek stepped out, clad in his trenchcoat and holding Cupid's clothes.

"I got our stuff. We done here?" he asked.