Zek really couldn’t fault the man’s logic. Finder’s Keepers, after all. Unfortunately for the man, Zek rarely allowed logic to hinder him.

He said nothing else. Instead golden light coalesced in his uplifted palm and quick as a wink he flung it at the guy.

Wormbeard promptly and swiftly dove to the side, the ball flashing past and striking the glass of a tank, promptly putting a crack in it before bouncing off and vanishing in mid-air. Zek blinked and then stared at his hand. What had happened? Nobody ever dodged his balls! “Nobody ever dodges my balls!” he exclaimed.

“They do now,” the man commented drolly.

Zek frowned and stuck his tongue out. Then he threw another couple of balls in quick succession, but they too missed, blinking out as soon as he realized he hadn’t hit the guy. Suddenly the dim lighting and all the various tanks and displays everywhere were making it difficult to actually get a good aim on the guy!

He whirled toward Featherbutt. “Okay, Craig. Sic ‘em!” he said, jerking his thumb back at Wormbeard.

The shifter watched with interest as someone was trying to steal from his pal Zek. ”Phrasing.” Carrick chuckled as the stranger with seafood parts started to dodge the light show Zek was producing. ”I mean, no one yet. Think he might be the first?” Carrick asked his tail flicking with interest at a possible fight. His pupils dilated as he watched the man move sidestepping the golden balls of light with relative ease.

”Sure!” Carrick nodded his head and stepped forward but then stopped recalling their conversation from earlier. ”On second thought... I think ya got this one.” he said recalling Zek telling him he didn’t need Carrick to step in on his fights. ”I believe in ya.”

The stranger made him uneasy and Carrick was doing what he could from engaging in the fight by ignoring his beast forms infinite amount of useful wisdom. ‘Fight!’ Opening his wings Carrick flapped once and found a vantage point on a catwalk over the tanks. ”You got this mate!” he cheered throwing up a bird of his own to Zek for ‘moral’ support.

He wasn’t about to let his friend get his but kicked, but Carrick was feeling Zek needed to appreciate him a bit more.

Zek’s mouth screwed up in annoyance as Caspar just...said no and flew off. What? What kind of a minion did that? “Alright, I’m docking your pay,” Zek muttered darkly before turning back to consider his options.

He didn’t have his duffle. That’s where most of his options were. Aw man, he would’ve loved to have his morningstar right then. Or one of his shotguns. Or his stakes. Or even one of Sammy’s steaks, still frozen. Or the grenade he’d stored in there. Or the bear trap. Or the chainsaw. Heck, even the chains he kept in there.

But he didn’t have any of that. So Plan C.

Zek lobbed another orb at the man, but he knew it wasn’t going to hit. He’d thrown it way too far to the left. Wormbeard didn’t even bother dodging. He tutted instead. And that’s when Zek activated the scarlet orb, immediately replacing it with a car going 60 mph and aimed directly at Wormbeard.

Plan C meant unleashing any car he currently had tucked away inside another dimension. In this case, he’d swiped it from a obunty that had tried to evade him earlier that day. Zek had swiped the car out from under him and the dude had been left suddenly scooting along the road at sixty miles an hour. Zek had made arrangements for the cops to meet the bounty at the emergency room.

In the meantime, the now-vacant car exploded through a glass display tank, scattering the seahorses inside in a burst of water, and went careening the next dozen feet at Wormbeard.

”Funny, didn’t realize this was a paid gig.” Carrick rolled his mismatched colored eyes and watched the light show. Did he have financial gain from their outings? Yes, but he figured it was because it was more trouble to keep all the ‘borrowed’ goods for himself. Carrick should have started charging for a lift anytime they flown anywhere. Until now Zek had been flying for free.

”Want ta see ya handle yerself.” Carrick said smirking, which quickly died down when a car appeard from a red orb blasting into a tank sending seahorses everywhere. ”Awww come on! What they do to ya? Just mind their own business.” he said worried for the little critters. To them the fight outside the tank and now out of the water was a fight among gods, they had no power to save themselves and while his other forms didn’t care much for saving the weak Carrick on the other hand...

“Interesting powers, be ye mutant or man?” the man said stepping onto a shard of glass, Carrick watched from above eyeing the spot where he stepped. The glass seemed to penetrate the skin because now the mystery man was leaking what looked like ink. “Doesn’t matter, I’ll take care of you then your feathered friend. This is the day you will die to Merman!”

His initial concern for all parties involved in the current situation died quickly as he started to burst out laughing. ”Merman? Like Herman? That the best ya came up with? How long ya workshop that?” Carrick waited for a second till ‘Merman’ looked away and he swooped down and grabbed a handful of Seahorses and flapped his wings to get out of there. Carrick dropped them in a surrounding tank hoping the other fish didn’t take it as a ‘meal’.

“I thought it was pretty clever.” the mystery figure smiled as he pulled off his hood revealing a shark like grey of skin and pointed teeth. The tentacles for his beard didn’t help him any.

“Exactly,” Zek sniffed. “Maybe you should think about that and your attitude next time your performance evaluation comes up.” Honestly, no in-flight snacks, too much sass, and lousy entertainment. And the seating wasn’t that comfy, despite it being a window seat every time. And Zek always had to bring his own goggles! But still, it was more convenient than storing a pilot and one of those supersmall planes. Those pockets were way better suited for his stuff.

Oh, and somehow Wormbeard was completely unaffected by the car Zek had sent his way. More displays were crushed and there was suddenly a lot of smoke from the busted engine, but Wormbeard had just popped back up like nothing had happened.

Now that was annoying.

If it wasn’t for the fact he still had some of Zek’s most treasured belongings, Zek would’ve been outta there already. It wasn’t fun when people didn’t stand still and allow him to crush them! So unfair! And he didn’t even have any more Plan C’s left!

“Neither,” Zek grumped. “I’m better than those - I’m Zek!” Another golden light appeared in his hand as he contemplated his next move. Maybe distract the guy long enough to get in close and--

Laughter from above. Zek blinked. Then he started laughing as well.

“Merman?” he chortled as he doubled over in a sudden case of the giggles. The light winked out. “Oh man, oh man, oh man oh man oh man. You’re such an idiot!” he gasped in between breaths. “I’ll bet you even believed your mother when she said you looked cute, too! OH WAIT! That’s a face not even a mother could love!”

Zek cackled wildly and stumbled around, half blinded by sudden tears. He wiped them. “Oh wow, thanks, I needed that,” Zek said as he wiped at his eyes with his fingerless-glove clad hands. He took another glimpse at Wormbeard McScalyface and started laughing again. “Aw man, you’re just so ugly too!”

Meanwhile, a clownfish and blue tang were shocked to suddenly have strange visitors in their home. The gods were testing them!

While he managed two passes picking up some of the seahorses the dim light and commotion from the car managed to distract him long enough till he spotted movement again. Carrick swooped grabbed a few of the little critters then jumped back into the air again laughing as he just narrowly dodged a swing of something long and flaccid thar erupted from under one of the sleeves of Merman... Merman....

”Aye, not his fault he’s that bad off. Sure he didn’t choose it....” Carrick chuckled dropping off a few more tiny sea horses glad he wasn’t laughing so hard he crushed them in his hands. It was kind of like a game now and Carrick couldn’t help but enjoy the sudden ‘fun’ he was having. Despite being worried for the sea creatures.

”What was that? An eel? Looking a little limp there Merman.” he chuckled and flew overhead looking down to the ground searching for a little more movement making sure not to lose track of them when he spotted them. “Errggghh! It’s Mer-man!” he shouted and threw his eel arm forward stretching it slightly towards Zek the fingers contorting into a moray Eel mouth, jagged teeth and all.

”Let me know when ya want a hand Zeky. Busy cleaning up yer mess again. Keep that in mind fer yer performance evaluations!” Carrick said rolling his eyes and diving again grabbing another handful. He was up to forty now. He wondered how many seahorses there were.

“El oh el,” Zek chortled. “Maybe he didn’t choose it, but he at least could’ve worn a mask or something! Sheesh! No wonder he’s at the aquarium only after everyone went home!” he yelled out to Cowlick, as if Barnaclebeard the Pirate wasn’t even there. Dead gods, Zek’s ribs were starting to hurt from the sudden and intense laughter.

The flying peanut gallery alerted Zek to something else and ew gross! Wormbeard was trying to fondle him with something! “Ew, gross!” Zek said in disgust and automatically slid to the side. “Dude, you need a mani so bad. Or get a doctor to look at that. Maybe a good plastic surgeon. Or like, one of those people who make mummies. You know what I mean?”

And then Zek smashed a golden ball into Zooman’s side and he vanished. The duffle bag fell to the ground, no longer associated with the thief. Zek was pretty surprised the dude had ever managed to zip it up! Zek himself never bothered because, you know, it was always stored in a pocket dimension and just wasted time when he wanted to get it out and extract something from it.

“I’m good,” he said, waving off the Birdboy who was doing something with something and something. Unlike the clownfish and blue tang, who were now panicking and trying to batten down the hatches of their little home from the sudden invasion of part horse abominations, Zek wasn’t really paying attention. He had what he was after. “Although whenever I bring Wormbeard back, maybe you should see if he needs a hand. Did you see that one? So gross!” he chuckled.

“Come on, come on!” he said to himself as he started rifling through his reclaimed duffle. “Where are you?!” THe laughter died. So did the world, just a little bit.

“....the bear claw’s not here.”

Also, someone with keen hearing might’ve heard the sound of several approaching sets of footsteps.

”I think he wants some moray of you!” Carrick quipped chuckling to himself knowing the joke would go unappreciated as he gathered the last of the tiny little horses but this time into a water bottle someone left behind. There were a few in there but it wasn’t too crowded they were at least small.

A light flashed Herbie the fish man was gone. Meaning Zek pocketed him for another time which was good. The man smelled and the shifter found it far too distracting. Now that he was gone the assault on his sense of smell went with it. That was when he heard the footsteps and then saw who they belonged to.

Swooping low and landing next to Zek, ”Cause ya had it in yer pocket this whole time!?!” or was it just another bear claw? How was he not the size of a house at this point? Well, Carrick wasn’t going to be the one who ruined it for him. Zek would figure it out when Carrick couldn’t carry him anymore. ”This the Crew of Herman’s merry men?” the Irishman asked and got his answer almost instantly. They had similar builds to Merman. Sam smell as well, though Merman’s was more potent. Older? More rotted? Either way the smell that came off the new group was just as bad due to their numbers.

“Where’s the boss?”

”Great question! Zekky? Care to explain?” he asked eyeing the duffel bag hoping there was some toys in there that would help get them out of this situation. The one with the jagged rows of shark teeth was smiling too much for Carrick.

want to give Eric the satisfaction of triumph. Instead, Zek just sniffed snootily and pretended he hadn’t heard a thing. He’d seen cats do that before and admired them for it. But he only admired actual cats and not Cat-faced Birdbutts.

“Uh, no!” Zek scoffed. “That was clearly a different bear claw!” And he mourned for that one as well, improperly consumed and not completely eaten, sacrificed that he might call out the culprit who’d taken his stuff. Hermie Mermie would pay. But later. Like whenever Zek remembered. And it might involve a huge vat of hot butter and maybe a hammer and chisel. And now he was getting hungry again.

He scowled up at the heavens. “Someone must’ve eaten it!” The footsteps finally made it to his hearing and he turned to glare in righteous wrath at the newcomers. They were ugly too and clearly in cahoots with Fishhead McGee. Each of the six people looked like they had some sort of aquatic features.

Zek fixed his daggery stare on the idiot who’d spoken. “Gladly, Riccotta,” he said, not even bothering to look back at Featherbutt. A hand slid into the bag and grabbed onto something.

“Your was devoured,” Zek spat, gazing at the man with a lobster claw, a lobster eye stalk, a bit of lobster armor on one of his bare arms, and a very strong lobster smell. Dead gods, Zek was starting to salivate. “Consumed and utterly masticated. The rest of you will join him, unless you tell me what I need to know.” Murder stained his face.

“What do you want?” said a feminine voice. It came from a woman with long flowing purplish platinum jellyfish tendrils pouring out from underneath her beret. A distinct jellyfish smell emanated from her.

“I WANT MY BEAR CLAW!” Zek roared, surging to his feet with a shotgun, already pumped and ready to go, in his hands. He aimed it at them and his face twisted with hate. “GIVE ME BACK MY BEAR CLAW! Or else you’re all sushi! Or just tell me which of you ate it and the rest can go free.”

He tilted his head to an unnatural degree. “Well?”

”Yer just trying ta get my name wrong now.” Carrick said rolling his eyes to the newcomers, as if they were more of a pain than his friend. Who was in fact a pain, just an entertaining one. ”Ya sure ya want ta ask?” Carrick asked to the newcomers who were on the defensive some looked like they had weapons but in reality they were just parts of underwater creatures.

The one with the jellyfish tendrils reminded him a bit of Praxi but less, her. ”Who leaves pastries around? Ya want ants? Cause that’s how ya get them!” Carrick said strutting over to the duffle bag attempting a double check to make sure ‘no one’ missed the pastries.

The guy with few layers of teeth looked down. “I might have had one.... Boss said it was up for grabs...”

Carrick ignored the shark toothed guy and then leaned into the bag pulling a morning star then using said morning star to shift through the duffle. ”Hey....” he lifted a tin foiled wrapped packaged that opened into a sandwich. ”How’s this still warm?” he continued looking and found a few guns followed by an inflatable pool toy. Suddenly the contents of seahorses and magic tricks in his pockets seemed less ridiculous.

”Look, probably best if you’s gents and.... gals? Take off? Me friend well... he takes his pastries seriously and well....” Carrick pulled the disco staff from the bag along with the morning star and pressed the button on the staff. The lights and music started to play. The Morningstar suddenly felt less intimidating.

Zek ignored the Kittybird clearly rifling through his bag. It was a little irksome since he hadn’t even really had much of a chance to do it himself since he’d gotten it back, but he figured Birdbrain wasn’t a horrible menace who should be kept away from Zek’s stuff. Besides, Zek knew where Coco lived.

And he was just going to owe Zek a sandwich.

Cue the theme music.

Electronic dance music began blasting at full volume and half of the Ugly People cringed or wailed, slapping hands to ears. Heh. Go figure. The swirling lights on top flashed around the room and blazed off of everything like a police car retrofitted for a rave. It was perfect. Way better than Cricket’s rapping skills.

And Sharkface admitted to eating the bear claw.

“Good to know,” Zek said and then squeezed the trigger.

Much of the shot missed, but quite a bit still hit the guy along the side of his stomach and chest and there was a spray of blood bursting in the air, any cries of pain unheard due to the EDM and the wails of Sharkbait’s friends.

“Okay, let’s go!” Zek yelled over the music as he turned around and dropped a ball on his duffle, vanishing it back into the loving care of the void.

Despite the having the Morningstar and the disco stick he still wasn’t ready for the gun to go off. Suddenly there was a painful surge of sights and sounds. His eyes adapted but everything else. Jumping to the side when the gun went off he dropped the staff and the Morningstar one onto his foot as his hands shot up to his ears. ”MOTHER ******!!!!” he shouted the staffs light still going off along with the music. Carrick almost forgot about the stupid staff. Almost.

Looking down he saw the mace impacted on his shoe. It didn’t bounce it just lodged onto it and into the top of his foot. His ears rang out deafening him to what Zek had just said. The shifter continued to curse as he threw his hands down towards the mace as if yelling and cursing at it would be enough to scare it off and out of his foot. It didn’t.

While this was happening also unaware to Carrick was the blood that splattered from the shark guy and landed on a few of his friends. Their eyes went wide as they experienced a blood frenzy. The wailing continued for a moment till the bloodlust drove them wild. One of the effected members of Herman’s group turned and attacked the source. Their ally. Before he could scream for a different reason from being shot he was already being pinned.

Blood started to seep out from the bottom of Carrick’s shoe also effecting Herman’s group. ”Give me a ****ing warning before ya pull the trigger! Fer **** sakes why is that thing loaded!” he asked his ears still ringing.

Birdnose’s whining was so clearly audible over all the other sudden noises. “Oh quit yer complainin’!” he scowled. “Just walk it off!” Seriously, of all the times Clinton had to start making a big deal about loud sounds and stuff. How many clubs and bars and dives and circuses had they been to? Besides, Zek never complained about listening to Featherbutt’s music!

He scooped up his disco staff from where Karen had so carelessly discarded it. “You’re lucky you’re useful to me,” Zek said as he checked to make sure nothing was broken. Wasn’t even a scratch. That was some good craftsmanship. It was kittybird-proof.

Then he scoffed. “Uh, why wouldn’t the gun be loaded?” he yelled. “It’s a gun, not a paperweight! Who’d bring an unloaded gun to a pool party?!” A psychopath, that’s who.

Some of the wailing and crying cut down. The jellyfish woman had waved her hands and her tendrils withdrew from the sharman and his latest attacker. Both remained frozen in place, utterly paralyzed. “Lisa!” she hissed in the ear of a large-mouthed, whale of a woman. “Get rid of that noise!”

Lisa nodded and began speaking some esoteric phrases. Then the EDM cut out and was replaced with soft harps.

Zek stared at his staff. It was switched on and everything. The lights were flashing. But why the heck were there harps?

“Hey, you DID break it!” he exclaimed, pouting at Connor.

His pupils dilated a few times as the ringing in his ears persisted, Zek’s muffled voice started to get louder as the ringing started to fade away. ”What kinda pool party requires guns?” he said more surprised by the order in which Zek formed the words. Seriously though it was Zek, it was more surprising to Carrick that Zek could still say something to surprise him. ”Never mind, I don’t want to know.”

Looking down to the mace he momentarily ignored Zek’s complaint. Grabbing the mace he grunted winced and tugged the weapon and dislodged it from his foot. A little more blood spurted out and he winced in pain again. ”****!” he exhaled and hefted the weapon onto his shoulder. ”That will wake ya up!”

”And yer music will put me back ta sleep, harps? Eh, guess it’s better than what it was.” he said shrugging, ”There an input fer it? Might be able to change the music on it.” he said thinking on it.

Watching as whale woman charged the two. ”**** that’s a big lady!” the grey woman charged the two and Carrick flapped his wings a few times taking to the air leaving Zek to handle her, ”Ya got this still right?” he said smugly.

There really wasn’t much else to say about the pool party and the stupid jer-face name-stealing vampire jerk. The jerk. Didn’t even have good snacks and Zek had had to waste his perfectly good super-sized cup of hot chocolate. Zek was still grieving over it.

Keeping track of his precious morningstar out of the corner of his eye (and noting this wouldn’t be the first suspicious bloodstain that was covering it), Zek fiddled with his staff some more, running his hands up and down it. “Harps are stupid,” he said authoritatively. “Also, no? I haven’t found an input yet,” he said. There was a hole at top, right by the pulsing, angry red light, but it was just a screwhole.

Focused on his disco stick as he was, Zek barely noticed the woman charging. “Hmm?” he said, turning slightly. “Oh snap!” he said, letting go of his staff and making two balls appear. He shoved them at the attacker and she vanished. Then Zek picked up his staff and flicked the switch and turned it off.

The music cut off, as did the flashing lights. “Ahhh,” Zek said in relief. “Much better.” THose stupid harps!

Zek tossed his rod up at Kroger. “Here, you play with it, see if you can get it working again.” After all, Carlton wasn’t doing anything else except dripping blood all over the place.