It was unhealthy to envy an alternate version of yourself, but Nessa did, if only a little bit. They both ended up at a crossroads in their lives after leaving the safety of their ignorant parents’ house, but last time, Vanessa got to make her choices gradually. She got her feet under her, slowly became part of the online community, and opportunities came from there.

Maybe it was ungrateful, but having all the opportunities in front of her from square one made everything more intimidating. If she tried jumping in ahead of her script, would things fall apart? Then again, it was not like she could go back to being an unknown—people knew her. She had fans who were going to find her unless she dropped off the grid.

Vanishing was not an option in Vanessa’s eyes; for better or worse, the internet was a major part of her life. Maybe Agnes was the bolder of the two, contemplating moving on from music. It was impressive listening to the scope of her possibilities. ”You really haven’t narrowed it down much, have you,” she teased. Of course, the turn clock switched back to Nessa, and she could almost hear it tick. ”I… well, I don’t think I’m giving up being kinda internet famous.”

It sounded conceited, but Nessa sipped her coffee, believing she could justify it. ”Before I ended up here, the other me opened up an interesting door. People still know me, and I could use my voice for good things. I’ve talked with some of the people at Haven, and I could have a real platform to help the mutants and the LGBTQ+ and all the misfit kids.” The kids she used to be.

There were different ways to be seen, though. ”I think… I may step away from the POW Block Party. They seem cool and I’d still collab with them, but I should build a new brand. Maybe a channel of my own. Heck, a podcast doesn’t sound like a bad idea, now that you mention it,” she pointed out, chuckling at the irony. ”So hey, if you’re in the market for a co-host or whatever. Though you would make a very sexy—er, sensual model.” Those were barely different things, Nessa. Her cheeks pinkened, watching the very distracting vision across the table.

Agnes smirked and blushed with a little bit of embarrassment. Truth be told, even before she met Nessa, Agnes had been wracking her brain trying to figure out what she wanted to do with her life. Every day it was looking more and more like she wasn’t going to return to the woman that she was, but there was still some slight hope that she was going to make it back to that. That Agnes, though she gave up on music, seemed to have a plan of some kind!

How weird was it to be jealous of a person you used to be but had no recollection of?

It made Agnes all the more confused. When you grow up, you have a lifetime of experiences behind you and those shape what you do and do not want to do with your life. But for her she had the looming shadow over her head of a future that in essence failed her. Whatever her motivations were for quitting music, it didn’t matter. What mattered was that it turned out music wasn’t for her.

Now, there were factors to consider. Whatever life Agnes couldn’t recall clearly shaped up to that decision. Ms. Gray didn’t seem to know and Agnes couldn’t find any information as to why she would have quit. But she wasn’t going to leave anything up to chance. She had a new life to formulate and, at it appeared, less time than she would liked to figure it out.

But she would figure it out. She had faith she would.

Agnes stuck her tongue out at Nessa before her lips slipped into a smile. ”What can I say? I’ve had a lovely distraction keeping me from focusing this whole trip.”

That wasn’t true. She wasn’t going to blame Nessa for her inability to focus and decide what to do with her life. Then again, memories of cuddling in bed and trips to the beach often found a way to permeate her thoughts.

Agnes blinked those away as Nessa started to consider her options. Internet fame but following her own path? Honestly that sounded like the best sort of thing for Nessa. Still in the same vein of what she wanted to do, and loved, but allowing herself to build it up herself. A smile cropped up as she rested her chin on one of her hands and nodded.

”That sounds amazing,” Agnes agreed. ”And totally a valid plan!” She had to laugh at Nessa’s offer to collab on a podcast and picked up her coffee for another drink. ”Oh I doubt anyone would want to listen to me? What am I going to do? Talk about music or insects? I’m sure most people will find the former boring and the later gross.”

Agnes pursed her lips. Argh, stupid thoughts! She really wasn’t sure what to do with her life. So much of it had been centered around music but it just seemed appropriate that with this new life she was building for herself that she shake it off and start fresh. But with what?

Her eyes drifted back to Nessa. ”You’ve got an amazing future ahead of you, Nessa,” she said, offering her a genuine smile. ”I’m sure you’re going to build something amazing with it all over again. As for me?” she shrugged. ”Who knows. Maybe a bee farmer. Get rich selling high quality honey for a living.”

Vanessa empathized with Agnes’s situation. How would it have affected her if she learned her future self abandoned her internet life and dropped off the grid? Maybe she would be apprehensive to return to that life as well. All the more reason for Nessa to be supportive.

”I think it’s worth realizing we shouldn’t put pressure on ourselves to make all our choices here.” This trip could give them a good leaping off point, but life was a process. That was what everyone told her since her return, but seeing the situation from the outside, it made more sense. ”I can help you find your voice and what you want to talk about. And if that doesn’t work, there’ll be something new. Heck; I know how you feel about music, but it’s Twenty-Twenty. Orchestras aren’t the be-all-end-all of music.” Just something to consider.

Spotting Agnes’s hand on the table, Nessa took it and brushed a kiss across her knuckles. ”And for the record? You’re the only high-quality honey I see.” A beat passed and her tan cheeks turned red as a strawberry. ”And that was just… so dorky. How did anyone become a fan of me?”

Agnes felt like a paper bag caught in a breeze whenever she thought about her future. There was so much she wanted to do, so many options, but it was almost too much when she really sat down and thought about it. What was she even good at? Music, apparently. Good enough to get into the philharmonic, but look how that ended up. Because of her failed future, Agnes was still feeling gunshy about the idea. But then what did she have left? Sewing? Insect husbandry? Bee keeping? The options were vast and quite difficult to keep track of.

So what was a pixie cut-haired young woman to do? Nessa had options and it seemed like she was on the right track for figuring it out. There was a small bit of jealousy there. Not because Nessa had some fame and fortune, but because she had a clear idea what she wanted. Agnes? Not so much.

A smile returned to her lips when Nessa offered her comfort. There was time to figure things out and, if anything, Nessa could be there to help her figure it out in whatever capacity she needed her for.

”Thank you,” Agnes said with genuine appreciation. ”That does mean a lot. I’m sure with your help I can find a lot to talk about.”

Hrm...Nessa mused as she took another sip of her coffee. Nessa did have a point. There was more to music than the classical stuff she was trained to love. As a matter of fact, she couldn’t count the number of videos she found on ViewTube with musicians covering contemporary songs or reworking classics to give them a modern twist. Agnes let those thoughts settle in her head until she felt Nessa touch her hand.

Instinctively her fingers curled around Nessa’s as her hand was lifted, and sapphire eyes locked onto the other’s as she felt lips press against her skin.

The line was cheesy and cliched, that was for sure, but it still brought a wide smile to Agnes’ lips. A soft giggle escaped her mouth as Nessa seemingly recoiled from her own words and chastised herself for the lameness of it. The coloring of her cheeks was also fairly evident now.

Taking the woman’s hand, it was Agnes’ turn to pull Nessa’s hand to her lips and offer those exquisite knuckles a tender brush of a kiss.

”I dunno about anyone else…” Agnes started. ”...but for me, you’re sweet, kind, funny, intelligent, and ridiculously attractive,” she smirked, kissing each of Nessa’s fingers to cement each point she dropped. ”And most importantly, you’ve been amazing to me. I say that checks off all the boxes of my ‘You’ve Earned a Fangir’l list.”

Nessa’s parents were lovers of the classics, so she was willing to bet they would have approved of Vanessa potentially dating a member of the Philharmonic Orchestra. Maybe that was why the rebellious daughter leaned into modernity over tradition. Obviously, a badge of honor like that was still impressive, and Nessa knew Agnes was talented enough to do it again if she wanted.

So if you already knew you could do that again, why not take a new, adventurous challenge? The cogs were already turning in Agnes’s head, but Nessa kept her grounded in the here and now. They had time to plan later.

That spark between them jolted again with the reciprocated kiss. With the future less uncertain, Nessa could focus on what was in front of her and the thoughts in those sapphire eyes. They kept dancing around this together. What did they even have scheduled today? ”Hey Aggie… Do you maybe want to just… head back to the flat?” Nessa nibbled her lower lip, conveying in the action why she wanted to stay home today and what she might finally be ready to do with their shared time.



Vanessa pulled the sheets down to her waist, letting her sweat-dotted upper body unwind in the open air of their rented flat. Her arm was just long enough to open the window behind the head of the bed without needing to get up, which was good. She did not want to move from her spot on the bed or the lithe girl clinging to her body.

They took things slow because Agnes knew how to be patient with Vanessa’s insecurities. The kissing and heavy petting eventually emboldened Vanessa, and as a telepath, she was avoidant of Agnes’s eyes until the insect queen took her cheek and met her eyes. The lack of judgement or apprehension led to a beautiful, passionate afternoon amidst the European summer. ”Honestly, it’s a testament to our self-control that we lasted until Amsterdam.”

Vanessa kissed the top of Agnes’s head, finally catching her breath. ”Thanks, Aggie. For everything. For being here and being so… you. Perfect.”

She meant every word of it. It had been sometime since she met someone like Nessa. Jasmine will always be her first but while that budding relationship had been beautiful in it’s time, it had also run its course. There was no reason to continue dwelling in a past that, while it seemed to just be yesterday, was actually years buried. Jasmine will always have a place in her heart but it was clear that the universe had other plans for the insect queen’s love life.

And she was sitting right across from her.

With a dreamy smile, Agnes continued to hold onto Nessa’s hand, gently stroking her thumb over the knuckles she had just finished kissing. Truly this trip had been a godsend because this was definitely the happiest that Agnes had ever felt. She didn’t want it to end.

A blush and a look of shyness colored Nessa’s features. A whisper was uttered and it carried a message that was loud and clear to Agnes. With a glance around them, and a devilish smile, Agnes stood up from her chair and glided past Nessa, letting her hand drag wistfully along the length of the telepath’s arm, across her shoulder, and along the back of her neck.

After passing, Agnes turned to look over her shoulder at her gorgeous friend, smirked and led the way back to their rented flat.

***

It had been well worth the wait. With a shaky intake of breath, the bare, sun-kissed skin of the insect queen nestled against the body of her friend and now lover. As her breathing began to slow, she sighed with a contented breath, lips finding sweet, sweat-dotted spots on Nessa’s skin to kiss as the other woman turned in an attempt to open a window.

When the telepath would resettle into her previous position, Agnes pressed in close, draping her arm across the woman’s midsection, tracing invisible lines along her bare skin, smiling whenever a soft gasp or a small giggle was offered in response.

She had to grin more broadly as Nessa commended their self-control. ”Yeah, that wasn’t easy. At all.” Agnes said with a soft, hazy smile.

She didn’t exactly know how or where it started. Had it been since their first night here? Maybe the kiss they shared back in the hot tub? Agnes wasn’t sure where it started but the bundle of waving bliss in the middle of her core had been proof enough that this was right. This wasn’t just sex, after all, there was something deeper there, something that made her glad that it was Nessa she was sharing this bed with, and no one else.

A tender kiss to the top of her head brought her out of her musings. A reciprocated kiss was planted on Nessa’s stomach, followed by a soft nuzzle.

”My pleasure,” she whispered. She then climbed up until her sapphire eyes settled onto Nessa’s. ”I couldn’t be luckier to be here with you.” She then leaned down and pressed her lips against those of the telepath’s. With a sigh she settled onto Nessa, her body weight pressed lightly against Nessa’s as her hands cupped the woman’s cheek to kiss once again. ”And perfection always seeks perfection. So I guess we can be perfect together.”

They could be out doing so much in Amsterdam. Europe was their oyster and they may go explore the city later, but in this moment, Vanessa wanted nothing more than the gorgeous girl nuzzling her stomach.

”I’m not perfect.” Nessa corrected sheepishly, ”But you make me feel damn close.” And it was true; the way Agnes looked at her, thought about her, touched her. It all empowered Nessa. She felt confident as the Nessa reflected in those blue eyes.

They would talk things out later. It was a long trip. Nessa got the impression this would not be the last time they shared an afterglow like this in Europe.

---

As it turned out, no, it was absolutely not the last time. It was not the last time that day, and sessions like that became frequent highlight of the trip. A trip that they had reached the end of.

Venice was the last city on the docket before they were off to Rome. Rome would involve minor sightseeing, but they had taken an extra day in Amsterdam, so now Rome was mostly a place to catch their plane home.

Nessa felt the gondola gently floating down the waterways of Venice. They had a young man guiding the vessel, so Nessa could lean back into Agnes, letting the insect queen wrap her arms around her. ”I can’t believe this is almost over. We’re sure we can’t just bum around Europe forever, right?”

Europe was amazing. But what was also amazing was how much of it could be seen via bedroom windows. That wasn’t to say that Agnes didn’t appreciate the history and the beauty of being on this continent, it was gorgeous and every sightseeing trip would leave her with a multitude of memories that she would never forget. But, that being said, there was just something about reveling in the passions of another.

Agnes and Nessa had put a lot of mileage in whatever beds they found themselves and each time was as amazing as the last. Agnes’ only real experience had been with Rhythm and the young woman had made it clear back then that her intentions were purely physical. But for Agnes and Nessa, it was different. There was something truly sparking between them, a drive and a passion that Agnes could see whenever she looked into the telepath’s eyes.

And not only that, there was just something so satisfying about waking up, limbs intertwined with the other, bare skin pressed against bare skin. Agnes felt her heart flutter every time she woke up and found herself spooning close to the gorgeous woman, and it was a sensation that followed her throughout all Europe.

Truly she was lucky.

Sitting in the back of a gondola, Agnes smiled as she let her eyes close behind her dark shades. Her white, peasant top hung off her shoulders, baring her pale skin to the sun that shown down upon them. Between her arms, nestled against her, Nessa relaxed and lamented the near conclusion of their trip. Agnes couldn’t help but smile. Her chin rested upon Nessa’s hair as she offered a tiny pout.

”Sorry darling,” she whispered. ”But unless I hear in the next day or so that I actually grew up to be some rich oil heiress, I’m afraid that America is out next stop.” Her arms wrapped around Nessa’s midsection, stroking her stomach softly. ”But no worries. Wherever we go, we carry Europe in our hearts.” After a pause she giggled and produced a keychain she had just purchased from a stand. ”At least that’s what this keychain says. And keychains are very wise.”

No one wanted to leave a vacation, but Nessa was convinced no one was more attached to a trip abroad than she was in that moment. She was detached from the real world with nothing but Agnes and gorgeous scenic locations. She could make a life of this.

If she was rich, which sadly, she was not. Neither was Agnes, though now would have been the time to confess that secret. ”Shucks,” she grumbled, nuzzling closer.

The line was cheesy, but cheese was exactly why they bought the keychain. It made Nessa smile just as it made her think. This trip would live in her heart, she was convinced. It was important in a way few life experiences could be.

It was also an ideal world. New York was their real world, and Nessa wondered how things would change when life got involved. ”So I guess it’s time to bring it up. What are we doing when we land? I’ve really liked this trip. My time with you has been something special.”

Nessa was not a pessimist; to the contrary, she was a romantic. She also had high hopes for their potential together, which meant being realistic. ”People talked about a honeymoon phase, and this whole vacation felt exactly like the best kind of honeymoon. I’m not ashamed to say I’m quite smitten with you, Miss Honey,” she admitted, trying out the hypothetical new last name Agnes picked out somewhere between Montreux and Milan. ”I don’t know who I grew up into last time, but I know for sure I can get in really deep really fast. Especially when a gorgeous girl has been sweet and tender and fucking my brains out across five countries.”

Realizing where she was, Nessa looked at the man piloting the gondola, who was noticeably looking everywhere except at his passengers. Nessa’s tan cheeks flushed red. Proof that being in their own little world had consequences.

Agnes couldn’t remember the last time that she felt so relaxed. Lounging in the gondola, Nessa leaning back against her under the sun, it truly felt like she had entered paradise. This whole trip had been amazingly refreshing. Though there was still a small part of her that felt awkward for allowing Nessa to pay for her trip, there was a certain balance that the two of them had found. This was especially true given the fact that they had other, more important things to consider now.

Her eyes hidden by her fashionable, ladybug frames, Agnes sighed heavenly, running her fingers softly through Nessa’s hair. Yes, with the trip coming to an end, they needed to have the inevitable discussion -- where did things stand with them?

The question initially seemed fairly easy, given the fact that they essentially been christening every bed they slept in since Amsterdam. But it wasn’t as easy as that. They were in Europe! A place of history and romance! It would be hard for any potential couple to resist the allure. But all vacations must come to an end -- so where did that leave them?

”Agreed,” Agnes said, her fingers playing soft circles on Nessa’s scalp.

Miss Honey. The name sounded quite pretty on Nessa’s lips. Leaning down, she planted a soft kiss on Nessa’s head before her fingers returned to moving teasingly over her scalp. Nessa described this as a “Honeymoon phase” but even so, the truth was that she was smitten with her.

She then snorted with laughter at the telepath’s faux-pas concerning their actions across Europe. At the same time she looked up to see that the gondolier was paying them no heed, probably used to similar conversations over the years. Agnes took a deep breath as she finally removed her cruel fingers from Nessa’s hair and rested them on the sides of their boat.

One hand reached up and pulled her sunglasses down so they were balanced on the edge of her nose. ”I...only know a little of who I grew up to be,” said said. ”Failed musician, adulterer, etc.,” she said, her voice threatening to carry melancholy with it. But instead of tears, she smiled. ”But that’s not who I am anymore. I...don’t know who I will be. But there’s one thing I would very, very much like,” She leaned down and pressed her lips for Nessa’s for a long, drawn out kiss. ”I want to see where we go from here. If you want to risk it, that is. I’ll jump if you jump.”

Agnes made this feel so easy. There was comfort in the way she held Nessa. What could she worry about with those slender fingers playing with her hair? The real world could hit them hard when they got home, but should that be an excuse to hesitate? They had a second chance at life; Nessa made the choice not to squander it by playing things safe.

”Whoever you are… I am really growing quite fond of her,” Nessa admitted, sinking into her partner’s embrace as the water gently flowed around them. ”I want to see what comes of this, too. I think we should take our time figuring this out. We found each other quick after what happened.” There could be a desire to latch onto that first source of comfort, though that did not need to be said.

”But let’s do it. I want to know you more, and I want to know if what we have will work.” Nessa smiled, taking the flutter of her heart as a sign that she was making the right choice. ”You’ve been the best part of every city and every country, and I would be a fool not to realize you’re the best part of my New York worth holding onto.”

Maybe every question was not answered by this trip, but the important ones were, and Nessa could hop a flight back home confident in her path and the hand she held along the way.