The X-Leader was a he here. He wasn't going to get his hopes up, but maybe, just maybe, that meant no more laser beam eyes. He'd never done much with physics in college, but even he got a facial twitch just thinking about laser beam eyes. How did that work? At least mirrorwalking was so off the wall it wrapped back around to magic. But laser beam eyes? Weren't eyes basically made of sclera-wrapped goop? Why didn't their eyes explode when they super-heated them?

>> "I assume you met Mirage then, huh?"

"I know to keep my mirrors covered at night so I don't get woken up by vindictively off-key singing, yeah. Just didn't know I had to do it here, too. I hope she didn't give you any tips when you were over there." Rupert gave the woman the stink eye, because he suddenly knew, as surely as the sun rose in the East (…it still rose in the East, right?), that she deserved it. "Or did she come over here? Thought she was still stuck in that mirror, but it's not like we send each other Christmas cards."[/color]

Except for that one time. They didn't talk about that one time.

"And what do you mean, a Maya day? Please don't tell me you name them all, not even Mirage is that bad."

Out in the kitchen, a timer cheerfully dinged!

Rupert started flushing a slow red.

"Okay, don't laugh, but… my cookies are done. You, ah, want one?"

He'd rented a carpet shampooer yesterday, but the poodle had been locked inside for who knew how many days. So he'd taken to clearing out the lingering dog smell the way any man would: through copious baking.

Go figure. Other Rupert knew Other Mirror. Small worlds.

>>"I know to keep my mirrors covered at night so I don't get woken up by vindictively off-key singing, yeah. Just didn't know I had to do it here, too. I hope she didn't give you any tips when you were over there... Or did she come over here? Thought she was still stuck in that mirror, but it's not like we send each other Christmas cards."

"Oh, we've met." Maya chuckled, nudging Flipsy once again away from licking her knee "She's back on the other side. I'm sure she'll miss you."

>>"And what do you mean, a Maya day? Please don't tell me you name them all, not even Mirage is that bad."

"Well, unlike Mirage, I only have two settings. Maya and Gawain. That's plenty if you ask me, I got no clue how Mirage keeps all of them straight... or at least organized" she grinned. Maya days and Gawain days, at least, were predictable.

>>"Okay, don't laugh, but… my cookies are done. You, ah, want one?"

Cookies. Rupert was making cookies. Maya did laugh, and then clamped a hand over her mouth.

"Sure. That, and a painkiller?" she added, glancing at the first aid bag "If not, whiskey's fine too."

Of course she laughed. She was the alternate universe reflection of his half-lesbian cross-dresser. Mirage like to take a laugh at him, too.

Rupert dug out the aspirin, and seriously contemplated taking one for himself before handing them over.

But like she said, whiskey was a fine substitute.

Outside the bathroom, the apartment was just about clean. The trash had been bagged up and dragged to the dumpster (ten bags. Ten), the dirty clothes had been washed, and were sitting in a laundry basket on the couch waiting to be folded. The carpet was still a little squishy around the edges from its shampooing. He'd even consolidated the other guy's booze supply from 'within arm's reach of every seat in the apartment' to 'neatly lined up on top of the fridge'.

He grabbed a flower-print oven mitt, and opened up the oven. The smell of chocolate cookies with caramel chips wafted out. Whatever else had been wrong with this guy, Rupert couldn't fault his pantry. The kitchen was stocked like a chef preparing for the apocalypse.

He got them on a rack to cool—"Touch those if you want molten caramel on your skin"--and reached up for the booze. He didn't know any of these brands, but so he just grabbed one, and trusted in the other guy not to buy from the bargain bin.

"So, exactly how much of this do I have to feed you to get a truce? I do not need another prankster leaving lipstick on my mirror. The inside of my mirror. You know how hard that is to explain to a date?" Pretty damn hard. Especially when all his guilty wiping didn't even smudge it.

Maya took the aspirin (two, for good measure, because stitches) and drank some water from the bathroom tap before she followed Rupert into the apartment. The place was... eerily clean. Disturbingly clean. Most un-Rupert clean. Maya blinked, in shock as this non-Rupert took some delicious cookies out of the oven.

>>"Touch those if you want molten caramel on your skin"

Maya got herself a glass instead, and got some booze - it was Rupert's booze for Rupert's taste, so she doubted any of the bottles would be better or worse than the rest.

>>"So, exactly how much of this do I have to feed you to get a truce? I do not need another prankster leaving lipstick on my mirror. The inside of my mirror. You know how hard that is to explain to a date?"

"I don't know, how much weed is in them?" Maya deadpanned. Honestly, they already had a truce, given that she was un-shot-in-the-head-on-sight. But the rest... the rest made her grin.

"Well that's brilliant" she grinned "I didn't know you and Mirage got along so well. I'll have to remember that one." she winked at him "So... dates, huh?"

Rupert. Dating.
Maya realized she had just assumed he was a jaded loner like the other one. But what if...?

"So... you left someone on the other side?"

>> "I don't know, how much weed is in them?"

"Still illegal on this side, huh? Then none at all, Deputy."

Deadpan, meet deadpan. Rupert sat down, and poured a glass for himself. Alcohol, much like pot cookies, was perfectly healthy in moderation.

Giving a mirrorwalker tips on how to cause more trouble: much more of a threat. At least to his mental health.

Her not inconsiderable pause over the very concept of him dating also gave him and eye tick on the other guy's behalf.

>> "So... you left someone on the other side?"

"I left everyone on the other side. That's... kind of how it works."

He downed the rest of his glass, then slid his cup away. The bottle, too. That would be way too easy of a habit to get into. He'd seen what it did to the other guy's life. If he was going to hate on himself, there were more productive ways to go about it.

Like cooking an entire batch of cookies for himself.

"What'd you get up to on the other side? Wrack up any outstanding warrants?"

>>"Still illegal on this side, huh? Then none at all, Deputy."

Oh please. Like she expected pot brownies out of Rupert. Even other Rupert would not sink that low. He would go straight to herd drugs, that one.

They shared a drink, which meant it was time to share the personal details. Maya would have felt bad for the guy, asshole or not, if he had left the love of his life in another dimension.

>>"I left everyone on the other side. That's... kind of how it works."

Maya wrinkled her nose. That was not really an answer. He either had some deeper scar, or none at all.

>>"What'd you get up to on the other side? Wrack up any outstanding warrants?"

"Yeah, good luck to them with that" Maya snorted, refilling her drink. The aspirin needed some help "We wrecked some SUPER facilities, if that's what you mean. Sprung some kids that SUPER was using as assets. You wanna arrest me over that? Knock yourself out. I ain't leaving eleven-year-olds in prison cells."

She wrinkled her nose at him. Like a disapproving bunny rabbit. He wrinkled his brows right on back.

"What, is this the part where we trade sob stories? I didn't leave behind a wife and five kids, if that's what you were getting at. I did leave behind a girlfriend who's probably still waiting for a cop to knock on our door and tell her they found my body, a mom who needed a ride to her oncology appointment on Tuesday, and literally everyone else I've ever known. So can the nose wrinkles, Bugs."

And then she as good as admitted that yeah, in fact, she had wracked up a few crimes that he'd never be able to prosecute her for. Attacks on government facilities—B&E and property damage at the least, and he'd be damn surprised if there'd been no physical assaults on the staff in the process.

Rupert set his elbows on the table, and rubbed at his temples. "Yes, I think we can both agree that rescuing children is a noble goal. Just tell me—in between that and patting yourself on the back, did you or dear Mirage even once bother to present your evidence to the police? Because my department has been working around the fucking clock to get an actual warrant on those places. You know, so we could implicate their leadership, follow the trail back up to the top, get real changes done instead of doing a smash-and-grab raid that lets them play the victim and rile up more support for anti-mutant measures as they set up a new lab down the street? How many new eleven-year-olds do you think they have by now? Fucking vigilantes."

The way he said it, 'vigilante' was the worse insult.

The whiskey bottle was tempting. Really tempting. Rupert shoved a cookie in his mouth, instead. Tasted like chocolate, caramel, and burned taste buds.

…Oww.

>>"What, is this the part where we trade sob stories? I didn't leave behind a wife and five kids, if that's what you were getting at. I did leave behind a girlfriend who's probably still waiting for a cop to knock on our door and tell her they found my body, a mom who needed a ride to her oncology appointment on Tuesday, and literally everyone else I've ever known. So can the nose wrinkles, Bugs."

Maya instinctively tried to wrinkle her nose again, but caught it just in time. Girlfriend, mother, oncology... wow, Other Rupert actually had people he cared about. That was different... as the person Rup generally cared about (in his cute grumpy sexist prejudiced abusive way), Maya could not help but feel more and less sorry for this guy at the same time. She wondered if Rup was stuck on the other side. She wondered if he missed her.
Or if he was boinking this Rup's girlfriend.

ABORT MENTAL IMAGE

>>"Yes, I think we can both agree that rescuing children is a noble goal. Just tell me—in between that and patting yourself on the back, did you or dear Mirage even once bother to present your evidence to the police? Because my department has been working around the fucking clock to get an actual warrant on those places. You know, so we could implicate their leadership, follow the trail back up to the top, get real changes done instead of doing a smash-and-grab raid that lets them play the victim and rile up more support for anti-mutant measures as they set up a new lab down the street? How many new eleven-year-olds do you think they have by now? Fucking vigilantes."

"Whoa dude" Maya held up a hand (incidentally, the one with the whiskey glass) "Let's not go all police brutality on the guest okay? I'm already injured. And get off the high horse while you're at it? One, you really do think that the cops would be allowed to bring down a government funded secret organization? Dunno about your side, but cops don't even get to play with the FBI over here. Two, what were the X-men supposed to do exactly? Walk into a station and dump a box of evidence that would totally be taken into serious consideration? Hate to pick at your logic, but the X-men did not start this one..."

When Rupert spoke briefly of what he'd left behind, Maya's face… twitched. And he knew, on some instinctual level transmitted by the universal Rupert unconsciousness, that he never wanted to know what thought had caused that twitch. There was not enough liquor in this apartment to deal with it.

It was much more fun to talk shop. On the occasions he'd had the pleasure of ranting at Mirage, she'd usually ducked out of the mirror with a smirk before he could win that argument.

And he could win this argument. Because he was right.

"One," Rupert replied, copying her, "Anonymous evidence, as long as it's actual evidence, works just fine. Two, the government functions at the whim of the people. Prove that the government is doing experiments on kids, get it on the evening news and the morning talkshows, and the same people who authorized things behind closed doors are going to trip over themselves trying to point fingers at the next best scapegoat. And three, maybe if the X's weren't terroristic vigilantes, we could have… admitted their testimony in… shit."

If they weren't vigilantes. Like… if they were deputized. Please don't have her follow that train of thought. He did not need her snark on top of his self-defeat.

He pointed a finger at her. "What do they even do to get you qualified as deputies? You better not just slap on a badge."

Apparently this was the mountain Rupert planned to die on. Oh well. At least this Rupert still had some mountains and dying in him, while the other, more jaded version had just been... generally dying. The argument was not exactly Mirror's favorite, but Maya was also on her home turf in this universe. She knew how things worked, and they were not as easy as Mr. I-Believe-In-The-Law wanted to paint them. Maya folded her arms and sat back, waiting for Rupert to do his speech.

>>"One. Anonymous evidence, as long as it's actual evidence, works just fine. Two, the government functions at the whim of the people. Prove that the government is doing experiments on kids, get it on the evening news and the morning talkshows, and the same people who authorized things behind closed doors are going to trip over themselves trying to point fingers at the next best scapegoat. And three, maybe if the X's weren't terroristic vigilantes, we could have… admitted their testimony in… shit."

Maya arched an eyebrow, watching as the train of logic worked its way to the end of the tracks. The dude really had a lot of trust in his government... But it did not change the fact that the X-men did not opt for being vigilantes, and labeled terrorists. That was kind of the only choice they got to begin with. Unlike on this side, which seemed to dawn on Rupert along with Maya's grin.

>>"What do they even do to get you qualified as deputies? You better not just slap on a badge."

"We do training, obviously" Maya pointed out "Not every X works with the police, but some of out powers are useful to them. Plus, we have people who were actually MRC cops first, so it goes both ways." they had one, anyway "We don't throw kids into the field, if that's what you're asking." she shrugged "That's what it comes down to. We have powers, and whether people hate them or not, they are useful. I guess we wouldn't need the team at all if the system wasn't loaded against us..." she looked at Rupert, tilting her head "By the way, you are human, right? I mean, the other Rup was, definitely, but...?"

Rupert picked up another cookie—much less ridiculously hot—and used it to point at the mirrorwalker's smug smile.

"Can it. I'm still getting used to how things work around here, all right? I am going to tentatively," another cookie gesture, "tentatively assume that someone somewhere wasn't a total idiot when they approved the deputization thing. Or under the effect of mind controlling pheromones, or something."

That kind of thing happened with just enough regularity that every time a politician changed their stance on an issue, their competitors jumped on the chance to accuse them of being under a mutant's control. Did that happen over here, too? Eh, he'd find out during the next election.

Maya explained the deputization process. It was both more and less appalling than he'd feared. Throwing kids in hadn't worry him, because he hadn't even thought about that until she raised the point. Having cops on the team was an excellent point in their favor, unless said cops had retired right before Internal Affairs caught up to them. He'd have to snoop around on that a little. And that whole 'not every X works with the police' was just a round about way of saying 'some of us are still flaunting our illegal activities even though there's a clear path to doing this on the up-and-up'. He'd have to check out what the other cops thought of that.

This place looked like NYC, but that was just making it harder for him to wrap his head around how different it was. He might as well be in a foreign country, trying to re-learn culture.

"Yeah, I'm human. Mere mortal sitting over here." Trying to process all this. "Do you… need a ride to the hospital, or back to wherever your base is, or something?"

Rupert totally missed the irony that, back in his world, 'hospital' and 'X-Men base' would have been redundant.

Rupert picked up a cookie, which Maya took as an indication that she could eat one too. They smelled good, and it did not seem like her host would put up much of a fight. Flipsy also seemed interested, but that was a whole other issue.

>>"Can it. I'm still getting used to how things work around here, all right? I am going to tentatively, tentatively assume that someone somewhere wasn't a total idiot when they approved the deputization thing. Or under the effect of mind controlling pheromones, or something."

"Yeah, we don't have those" Maya pointed out, munching on the cookie "Last time we met a telepath we were trying to take her down, along with the other X team. In the end she blew up or something. I was unconscious at that point."

Worst Halloween ever. But at least Becca had already been dressed as a sexy nurse.

>>"Yeah, I'm human. Mere mortal sitting over here. Do you… need a ride to the hospital, or back to wherever your base is, or something?"

"You really are not from around here" Maya chuckled "Our base is at Xavier's. I can mirrorhop back there on my own, thanks. We have a healer... well, he doesn't really heal me anymore, which is his way of trying to keep me less reckless, but I bet he can save me the stitches." she grinned, standing up "I guess that's my cue?..." she grabbed another cookie, just for good measure "So, what's your plan now, being stuck on this side?"

"She… blew up?" 'Or something.' This was Rupert's or something facial tick.

>> "Our base is at Xavier's. I can mirrorhop back there on my own, thanks. We have a healer... well, he doesn't really heal me anymore, which is his way of trying to keep me less reckless, but I bet he can save me the stitches."

That she could get back on her own wasn't much of a surprise. And it was good she could, because he'd made the offer without remembering something a little vital: he didn't own a car, here. The other guy had car keys, but he had no idea where it was parked, and no valid driving license. Sure he could use the other guy's, but for all he knew they drove on the left and red meant go around here. And even no one else cared, he would know that he was driving illegally. Not something he was going to do.

"What's Xavier's?" Kind of sounded like a restaurant, or a night club. His eyes tracked that second cookie. He wasn't going to say anything, but he was going to judge.

>> "So, what's your plan now, being stuck on this side?"

"Short term, I'm going to find a coffee shop, and start reading the news. Assuming my phone can even hook up to wifi around here." He ran a hand through his hair. "Long term? Get back on the force. Us humans can't just up and join the vigilante squad. A friend—one of the other guy's friends, I guess—is helping me volunteer at some community projects, too." What was the place's name, again? Sanctuary, or Haven? One of them was the homeless shelter and one of them was the organization—he couldn't remember which was which, and he doubted Maya would recognize either name. The X-Men on his side weren't the type to put in hours in a soup kitchen, and the ones over here didn't sound any different. "I guess I'll see you at… work."

God, that was weird.

>>"What's Xavier's?"

"A school." Maya grinned. After all the news she had dumped on Rupert this day, telling him the vigilantes were based out of a boarding school was not really going to make a dent. But it would also have been unfair if he was the only one in town who didn't know... provided that he was going to stay in town at all.

>>"Short term, I'm going to find a coffee shop, and start reading the news. Assuming my phone can even hook up to wifi around here. Long term? Get back on the force. Us humans can't just up and join the vigilante squad. A friend—one of the other guy's friends, I guess—is helping me volunteer at some community projects, too. I guess I'll see you at… work."

"See you at work" Maya echoed with a grin, and she helped herself to some cookies, finished her drink, and headed back to the bathroom "You know, the other guy certainly had his charm, but I think you'll do just fine over here too. And if you need help, you know where to find me. Thanks for the bandaids!"