Booker was stunned. As he picked up the envelope, he had been surprised by the amount of weight it had to it. It was just a regular envelope, white, smooth, smelled of paper; and yet, as he turned it around in his hands he could instantly feel that there was something so much heavier than just a few sheets of handwritten paper in it. Though he didn’t realize it at the time, when he would turned the paper around, the familiar style of handwriting written clearly upon the surface, it only took the librarian seconds to realize who it was from – and his blood ran cold.

An obscenity fell out from between his lips. It was in the moment, not something that he had any control over, not even if he wanted to try and hold onto that control. Seeing the name upon the “from” address was enough to stun the man into complete silence again. However, the small phrase that he had uttered had been just loud enough to grab the attention of the only other person in the room who had been busy loading up her latest game.

>> ”Huh?”

Nessa voice was more absentminded than anything else. However, there was a tinge of curiosity as a moment of staring at him and, what he guessed, must have been the expression on his face. Removing herself from the couch, her game console updating, Booker felt her presence as she got closer to him. He had the address and the sendees in full view now, so much so that there was no way that she could miss it.

It didn’t take her long to realize what it was that he was staring at. Nessa grew quiet and, for a split second, the Bookman siblings shared a stunned silence. However, this didn’t last as suddenly the smaller brunette reached out to grab the envelope from Booker.

>>”It’s nothing, don’t worry about it,”

”Doesn’t seem like nothing…” he mumbled.

Oh it was totally not nothing. Instinctively, from years of teasing his sister and playing keep away with her, Booker utilized his much taller height and his superior arm reach to hold the envelope bac and out of her grasp. Holding the envelope high in the air, Booker reached up with his other hand, placing it upon Nessa’s forehead and used his bulk to hold her back, keeping the envelop back and high. The seconds passed as he immediately began to dissect the situation and came to a conclusion – she wasn’t all that surprised by this, was she?

”Nessa…” he said, suddenly using his big brother voice. He kept his hand on her forehead, holding her back. ”…why are Mom and Dad writing us? How do they even know where we’re living?”

Being shorter than Booker rarely bothered Vanessa. As cliché as it was, the height comparison made her feel more feminine, since she was still somewhat tall compared to the “average” woman. It was good to at least be the shortest person in her family.

Unfortunately, Vanessa had to curse the fates for giving Booker an arm reach advantage on her. His reflexes were too quick and he managed to pull the envelope away, holding it high above both their heads. As if that was not humiliating enough, his method of holding her at bay involved a firm hand pushing her forehead. It was condescending and prompted select curse words to filter through her lips as she reached in vain.

The damage was done. Booker saw the address and the handwriting; his memory was more or less perfect, so he was going to recognize the penmanship of their mother. Vanessa did herself no favors with her snap reaction, either. Even without reading the letter, he was smart enough to realize she was well-aware of what he was holding long before he said anything.

It had been Vanessa’s hope she could keep the letters from their parents private and away from Booker. She was not reading them, so they did not have to matter. Well, okay; she may have skimmed one. Or two. Still, she had no intentions of replying. Why trouble Booker with their existence when they, for all intents and purposes, did not exist to her?

That plan was out the window now that Booker was asking questions, so it was time for Vanessa to sigh heavily and explain. ”So, they know where we live because they kinda maybe hired a private investigator to look for me. She found me and reported back to them with her findings.” After discovering Vanessa was a mutant and screwing on the kitchen counter, of course.

Of course, that was only answering one of Booker’s two questions, so she continued. ”They’re writing to me, she corrected. It was not some point of pride; her parents were simply aware of which sibling they ostracized completely. ”They’re… trying to ask me to come talk to them. They claim they want to make things better.”

Vanessa pointed up at the letter Booker was still lording over her. ”That’s not even the first letter,” she admitted. ”I’ve just been… it doesn’t matter.” The earlier attempts at contact were in a box in Vanessa’s closet. Several were shredded, but the last two remained undamaged.

Looking down at her feet, Vanessa stepped away from her brother. ”Just… throw that away. It doesn’t matter.”

Booker wanted answers. Maybe it wasn’t his place to demand any from his sister, but given the fact that he lived here and it was a letter from their parents, he wanted to know why. Ever since their parents started to treat Nessa the way they did, Booker had become very protective of her. He watched her back when they were younger and did what he could to help comfort her under the disapproving glare of their mom and dad. Now that they were older, Nessa could take care of herself, but there were still those things that always managed to make the “big brother” flare up in the librarian.

This was one of those instances. However, the whole situation was far more odd than it should have been. If this was just a random, one-time letter, Nessa would have been just as perplexed by it as he was. The fact that she was trying to snag the letter away, telling him it was nothing, only made it more apparent that she was trying to keep something from him. Booker didn’t like secrets, especially when they involved the well-being of his sibling.

Keeping it out of her reach, Booker held the shorter woman back in a rather demeaning manner. When she finally settled down enough to back up a step, Booker lowered his arm but still kept the letter far out of her reach.

>> ”So, they know where we live because they kinda maybe hired a private investigator to look for me. She found me and reported back to them with her findings.”

The groan that fell from his lips was all that was needed to show how annoyed he was. With the added roll of his eyes, Booker’s feelings on the matter were clear – he didn’t like this. Their parents had left a pretty lasting impression, especially on Nessa, and now they were trying to weasel back into her life? Not only that but they actually hired someone to do all the leg work for them? Typical.

>>”They’re writing to me,..They’re… trying to ask me to come talk to them. They claim they want to make things better.”

He stopped. He stared at her. His eyes narrowed as he watched the woman back off a few steps, resigning herself to the fact that she wasn’t going to reach the letter in his grasp. But something still bothered him. ”Wait…how do you…?”

>>”That’s not even the first letter…I’ve just been… it doesn’t matter…Just… throw that away. It doesn’t matter.”

He watched her slink away, dismissing the letter in his hand. They had not only reached out, but they had reached out before and it was something that Nessa had been keeping from him. The older brother in him flared up again as he eyed the woman closely, his arm dropping and keeping the letter at his side. He didn’t know why he was more annoyed than Nessa was. Clearly it was her that should be the injured party, considering everything that they had done to her. Then again, it wasn’t a cake walk to watch your sibling go through it either.

A clench of his jaw and Booker took a few seconds to watch Nessa stepped away. After a moment he followed behind her, held his breath, and then held the letter out for her, over her shoulder, free to take. ”Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked, almost a little hurt that she hadn’t let him know in the first place.

Vanessa was not the only Bookman sibling who harbored negative feelings toward the parents they walked away from. Their parents never openly condemned Booker’s bisexuality, but they did all the classic dismissive things an apprehensive parent would do: joke about his “phase,” be warm to his girlfriends, awkward around his boyfriends. Depending on how things went, maybe Booker would have been the first to receive an ultimatum. Maybe Vanessa’s foray into black-market hormones just forced the issue too early.

Regardless of which sibling took the brunt of their parents’ prejudices, both gave up on the man and woman who raised them. Booker was never going to stay associated with them if they were trying to force his sister into the dark, depressive pit of pretending she was someone she was not. When the chips were down, he was going to be on her side.

So what was she worried about? Since when did she keep secrets that mattered from Booker? Her run in with Charlie was where it began, of course. A private investigator under her parents’ command came to the house searching for information. Explaining Charlie to Booker would have meant explaining their parents’ intent, and Vanessa was still wrapping her head around the notion that they could care about Vanessa’s happiness. Maybe the “son” they claimed so vehemently they had, but not the daughter they denied.

Her run-in with Charlie also had one additional complication: the immortal mutant discovered Vanessa’s telepathy. They agreed to a deal to keep that piece of information from her parents, but the information was out in the world forever. Charlie could keep possibly keep the secret, but that still meant one person knew about her, which was one too many. It also made her feel guilty because one person in the world knew about her powers and it was not her brother.

And so she motivated herself with guilt and self-preservation, keeping one more secret that kept growing with each letter from her parents. Her guilt tripled when she saw the hurt in Booker’s face. It was why she needed to walk away and regroup; face-to-face, she was uncertain what would spill out of her mouth.

There was a pause, but she saw a hand over her shoulder, holding the letter. Initially apprehensive, Vanessa slowly grabbed the envelope and looked it over. She wanted to crumple it immediately, but she held off. Booker needed and deserved an answer, so she turned to face him.

”I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to believe these letters were really happening. After all these years, I refuse to accept that they can just ask to be in my life again—in our lives again. The things they said,” and thought, ”they’re never going to leave my head. These letters aren’t real, so I’ve just ignored them. But if I told you about them, they’d be real. And if they’re real… I really don’t know what to do next, Book.” If her parents were making a genuine effort to repair a burnt bridge, was it wrong to refuse them? Was it even good for her? And would it be selfish to keep them out of her life, ruining any chance for her brother to have parents again?

She hated that it was all real now, but there was no going back.

Booker was stunned to know that their parents had been trying to contact Nessa. The last that he remembered, that bridge had been burned so severely that it left the lake it was supposed to span toxic and unfit for any living being for several millennia. The way that they treated his sister, their stubborn refusal to see pass their own beliefs, all of it made it pretty clear that they didn’t see Nessa as the daughter she was supposed to be. The hell with how they treated him when he came out at the same time as Nessa. Even though the “it’s only a phase” thing bothered him more than he would admit, it was more the treatment of his sister that stuck in his craw.

While he shouldn’t dislike people based solely on their treatment of another, the simple fact of the matter was that he was there to see what they had done to his sister. He was there through the tears, through the frustration, and even when he left for college, he still got those emails and phone calls from his sister, baring her soul about what was happening while he was away. When she finally got out, it had been a good thing, something that Booker applauded her for. Honestly it was probably the happiest he had seen his sister in recent memory up until that time.

Now, seeing the look on her face, the hurt and the confusion and the frustration, and Booker found himself trying to find the right words to say. While he wanted to be angry (not at her, but at their parents) he had a feeling that it wasn’t the right emotion for this situation. If he got angry, that would only put Nessa on the defensive, even if none of it was aimed at her. With a deep breath, Booker did the only thing he could think of.

With Nessa across the room, Booker watched her back for a few moments, noting the sheer confusion in her shoulders. He remained still for the longest time, simply unsure of what to say to her. It wasn’t fair of their parents to try and reconnect with her like this and while he wanted to believe that change was possible for everyone, their parents had left a lasting impression concerning their beliefs.

He was not a man who could easily forgive such atrocities. But this wasn’t his place to forgive or not on Nessa’s behalf.

Once he was behind Nessa, the towering older brother sighed, lifted an arm over her shoulder and held out the letter for her to take. He didn’t say anything and instead just remained quiet to let speak to him. He was sure that the last thing she wanted was more opinions. So, with bated breath, he watched her take the envelope from his hand and just…hold it. His arms back at his sides, he waited.

>>”I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to believe these letters were really happening. After all these years, I refuse to accept that they can just ask to be in my life again—in our lives again. The things they said…they’re never going to leave my head. These letters aren’t real, so I’ve just ignored them. But if I told you about them, they’d be real. And if they’re real… I really don’t know what to do next, Book.”

He sighed. Everything she said was one hundred percent valid. Their parents had left a last impression on the young woman, said things that could never be forgotten? But forgiven? Again, that was not his call as it wasn’t him that these things were directed at. Booker merely chose a side to stick with and it just happened to be his sister’s.

Letting the pause hang in the air, Booker watched the back of Nessa’s head for the longest time before he sighed, stepped up, and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, hugging her against his solid chest. Straightening up a bit, he lifted Nessa off the ground, still hugging her close to his chest and just sighed again. Leaving her feet dangling he whispered in a low and soft voice.

”I can’t tell you what to do, Nessa,” he started. ”But I know you can figure this out. And, no matter what, I’ve got your back.” He then squeezed her tighter, despite whatever wiggling protests she would attempt. ”Like this. It belongs to me now.” He paused, though, still holding his sister up and firmly in his grip. ”I still wish you would have told me. We don’t struggle with demons alone. We never have.”

Vanessa had turned back away and her eyes fixed on the tips of her toes. She could not probe Booker’s mind for information and in a moment like that, she did not want to anyway. She dropped a lot on her brother, so the most she could do was wait and hope he understood why she felt the need to keep their parents’ letters a secret.

The answer she received was not verbal, but it was clear. Before she understood what was happening, Booker’s arms were wrapped tightly around her and the ground was taken from beneath her feet. Booker was one of the few people tall enough to make her feel like a small child. It was hard not to smile at the absurdity, even with the heavy conversation.

He had her back, literally and figuratively. The support felt so immediately necessary, she suddenly felt stupid for thinking she was better off keeping secrets to herself. She wiggled around in false protest, but she was happy to have him there with her. (Unless he decided to keep her suspended in the air for the rest of their Sunday, which sounded in the realm of possibility.)

She should have told him. He was right; they never struggled alone. Except that was not entirely true. Charlie flashed back through Vanessa’s mind and she remembered the panic she felt when she realized someone knew her greatest secret. She was willing to go so far to keep Charlie from outing her and she had on one to share that burden with. It felt wrong for her to know, but beyond that, it felt worse that she knew before Booker.

Vanessa could not rectify what happened, but she needed to be honest with her brother. She always tried to tell him the truth, but there was one thing holding her back. Her stomach was knotting because it was surprised by what she was getting ready to say, but Booker had never given her a reason to doubt him. She only hoped he could understand why she kept her secret to herself for so long.

”Hey Booker? I… I have one last big thing to tell you. I’ve kept it to myself for so long because I was terrified of it getting out. But you’re right; that isn’t how we work.”

Vanessa waited for him to release her from his grasp so she could finally turn around to face her brother. She had to steel her nerves and slow her breathing, but nothing was going to stop her heart from pounding. ”Booker… I’m a mutant.”

Booker loved his sister. He loved her dearly. To see her upset or so confused and unsure was something that the young librarian simply couldn’t stand. Not because he didn’t want her to feel anything, but because it reminded him too much of those awful times when she was trying to find her own place in the world. It was terrible to see her suffer through that when they were teenagers and anytime she seemed to be struggling with such issues, it immediately brought him back to those terrible times. It started in him that big brother-ness to try and do whatever her could to protect her.

It seemed that the passage of time didn’t alter that in any way. Some would say that, at times, he could be a little overprotective, but he did what he could to try not to hover. He was better about it these days because he knew that Nessa had a good head on her shoulders...most of the time. But, still, there would always be that under lining aspect of his personality that would want to keep his baby sister safe.

Picking her up in his arms and holding her tight against his chest, Booker reiterated that, no matter what, he always had her back. They never battled the world alone because more often than not, they usually turned to one another for peace of mind. He helped her when she was trying to find himself, she helped him after that college incident, and back and forth like a tennis game, only neither was looking to outscore the other. It was just the dynamic of their relationship and he hoped that she would remember that now that she was dealing with such a confusing issue.

She seemed appreciative of his effort, a small sound coming from her that was reminiscent of a giggle as she pretended to flail her legs in protest. However he didn’t let her go but instead just continued to hug her until he could hug the icky feelings out her body. However, when she stopped flailing, her voice grew a bit more sombre as she appeared like she wanted to say something. Curious, Booker tilted his head as he eyed her from the side.

>> ”Hey Booker? I… I have one last big thing to tell you. I’ve kept it to myself for so long because I was terrified of it getting out. But you’re right; that isn’t how we work.”

Okaaaaaaay. Another big thing? Curiosity got the better of Booker as he set the young woman down and took a step back to give her breathing room. His mind raced with possibilities of what could be bothering her but he didn’t let too much of that show on his expression. He was supportive of his sister but what news could she have possibly kept from him? She was her own person and her life was hers but they tended to tell one another almost everything. How was there a big thing she hasn’t told him?

He didn’t say anything. Instead he just kept his silence as he watched her, allowing her to have the floor as he placed his hands on his hips, waiting for her to talk.

>> ”Booker… I’m a mutant.”

…

”F*** you…” He wore a smile on his face as he eyed her up and down. The words weren’t said in any malicious way but rather more out of amusement rather than anything else. He continued to watch her, waiting for her to admit that she was kidding but seeing the expression on her face, Booker could feel the realization settling in his head that she wasn’t kidding. His shoulders slacked and for once, in a real long time, there was hurt behind his eyes as he looked at his sister. Not because he didn’t like mutants (he was dating one, after all) but because, after everything, she didn’t tell him. A sparkle of a tear glistened in his eye as he looked at her, hard. ”...you’re not kidding...”

Vanessa flinched when Booker first reacted. His tone and demeanor made it obvious he was just teasing, assuming his sister was joking. Maybe that was why it hurt; he had every reason to believe she was joking because she had lied to him for so long. Her heart only fell further when she watched Booker’s expression and body language sink. The complete absence of laughter in her face must have let the truth sink in. He looked her right in the eyes, so she could see the beginnings of his tears forming. She knew coming clean would be hard, but there was a difference between knowing something and seeing something.

She closed her eyes, taking a breath before opening them again. Vanessa had to look at him when she spoke. ”No, I’m not. I’m sorry, Book, but I’ve been a mutant since the day I came out to mom and dad,” she admitted, wincing at the sensation of the truth on her tongue. Charlie found out about her power, but it was different to own up to it on her own. ”I can read minds when I look someone in the eyes. I can’t even control it.” Of course, someone did not include Booker, which he had to be aware of thanks to his adapted aura.

Of course, explaining her power was only half of what she had to say. It was more important to tell Booker why she felt the need to keep her powers a secret from him. ”I should have told you, but after how I knew mom and dad really felt about me even just being trans, I didn’t want to tell anyone I was a mutant. I know how people feel about mutants and even worse, if people knew I was seeing their thoughts, I was convinced no one would want to be near me.” How would anyone trust her if they knew what she was doing every time she caught their eyes?

”And I know—logically, I know—that you would never be one of those people. I get that,” she stated clearly, feeling the tears welling up in her eyes and sliding down her cheeks. ”I just always thought this was going to have to be a secret I kept to myself forever. I had to tell no one and let it die with me one day. I felt… I don’t know, safer that way.” Her voice had gotten softer, but she pressed forward. ”I’m so sorry I never told you, Booker.”

>>”No, I’m not. I’m sorry, Book, but I’ve been a mutant since the day I came out to mom and dad...I can read minds when I look someone in the eyes. I can’t even control it.”

The truth hit him like a jackhammer to the gut. Booker would have doubled over except for the fact that his spine was stiffened and unable to move. The only movement he was actually doing was breathing, in and out, a slow breath in and vice versa. He knew that his sister was admitting something big, like extremely big about herself, but it was something that Booker just didn’t know how to handle -- and not for the reasons that most might think. He didn’t have a problem with mutants, he never did, he was an advocate for mutants through and through, but this feeling of hurt was not because his sister was a mutant -- it was because she never told him.

He lifted his gaze to her, the betrayal clear on his features. After everything that they had endured together, everything that they suffered and still managed to hold on tight, she still managed to keep something this life changing from him?

>>”I should have told you, but after how I knew mom and dad really felt about me even just being trans, I didn’t want to tell anyone I was a mutant. I know how people feel about mutants and even worse, if people knew I was seeing their thoughts, I was convinced no one would want to be near me.”

She hurting and there was a part of him that just wanted to cross the room and pull her into a brotherly hug to tell her that everything was okay. In part he understood why she would keep it a secret. Reading thoughts, just, that was definitely a big bomb. For a second his mind ran rampant, wondering what she was thinking about his own thoughts right now, was she digging in for information. But he was quickly reminded that that was in no way possible -- he was an adapted and, as far as he knew, mutant powers had absolutely no effect on him.

Still, his mind whirled as he went through everything they experienced, namely the people who flittered through their lives. Did they know? Did Nessa read their minds? About her exes? What about his? His mind settled on Chris, the man Booker thought would be the love of his life and the fact that he had cheated on him? Did Nessa know? Clearly she would have told him if that were the case, but at the same time, considering the fact that she kept this secret since they were teenagers, well, he wasn’t so sure anymore.

>>”And I know—logically, I know—that you would never be one of those people. I get that...I just always thought this was going to have to be a secret I kept to myself forever. I had to tell no one and let it die with me one day. I felt… I don’t know, safer that way.”

Her voice was getting softer and he could see the tears glistening in the corners of her eyes; even though his own eyes were blurring over with tears. A blink and one, then another rolled down his cheeks. The fact that Nessa thought she could hold onto a secret that long, that she had to hold onto a secret that long was...shocking to him. Again, that was not how they did things…

...then again, maybe it was. After all, she’d be doing it for so long, maybe he was just mistaken in the way they operated.

>>”I’m so sorry I never told you, Booker.”

He needed to think. For a mind as vast as his own, too many thoughts, too many memories were colliding all at the same time, along with too much scrutinization considering this new variable. It was maddening, to say the least, the discomfort clear on his face as he came to the conclusion that right now, the apartment felt too enclosed. As a matter of fact, he felt almost as if he could suffocate if he stayed in it.

His eyes raised as he gave his sister another look, but this one was far firmer than any before. This wasn’t joking around, faux-angry Booker, not even PTSD-Booker, this was hurt-Booker. He sniffled. He turned around. He then headed back towards the door he had come from.

”I need to breathe…” was all he said.

She lived with him long enough to know that such a phrase usually meant going up to the roof, to the rooftop lounge area that the building had set up with couches, chairs, tables, and other such necessities for rooftop parties. But this wasn’t a party he was going to. Here had been at least a handful of instances where, after a particularly bad PTSD episode that Nessa would find her brother, draped in a blanket, asleep on the rooftop. It was one of the only other, open spaces that he felt safe in. And right now he needed to feel safe again.

Vanessa dropped a bomb on Booker. It did not compare to anything she shared with him before because she did not hang onto anything else for almost a decade. When she realized she was trans, Vanessa told Booker in less than a month. The parental letters were obviously a fresh point of stress, but those were only a secret for a few months. The news of her mutation was unprecedented, and it was unfair to think Booker would be able to handle the news and move past it quickly.

It was unfair, but Vanessa was still hoping Booker would just understand. She could not justify lying about herself for so long, but she did have a reason, however misguided it might have been. Vanessa feared her mutation would drive people away, but she should have known better: the lie would push Booker away long before her genetics.

When Booker turned away, telling her he needed space, Vanessa felt numb from head to toe. She was detached from the situation because, otherwise, she would have to deal with the pain of possibly driving away the most important person in her life. Booker was her only family, and she let her fear cause a lie to snowball for years. She wanted to believe Booker would take time and eventually understand and forgive her, but that was optimistic thinking. It was just as likely and honestly justified that Booker could move out, needing space from his terrible kid sister. It would have been a kick in the teeth because she would know it was her fault he was gone.

Vanessa immediately understood where Booker was going. When he needed to breathe, he needed somewhere open and away from people where he could process outside of the apartment. The roof was the best place to catch some fresh air and look out at the city for some perspective. Initially, Vanessa was worried about Booker going up to the roof amidst his most negative feelings, but he promised her fears were unfounded and she trusted him.

Of course, she should have trusted him more, evidently.

As much as Vanessa hated dealing with the looming feeling that Booker was never going to talk to her again, she understood it was important not to follow him. He needed time to think and Vanessa gave him plenty to think about. She had to be patient or she would only make things worse.

Vanessa was not good at patience and hated the cloud of dread following her around the apartment, so she filled her time by cooking.

---

It was hard to know how much time had passed since Booker went to the roof because time was a hazy concept when one was miserable. Vanessa could only hope the answer was “enough.” She opened the door to the near-abandoned party area and saw her brother there in all his solitude.

Since she had spent her downtime cooking, Vanessa thought it only made sense to bring the fruits of her labor with her. In this case, those fruits were actually tacos. Specifically, she had a large plate of fish tacos with refried black beans, pico de gallo, salsa verde, and guacamole. She knew what she did could not be fixed with food, but when did food ever hurt?

”Hey Book?” she began cautiously. ”I brought some dinner…”

Nessa didn't say anything when Booker left the apartment. That was something that he was more than thankful for. In his current state, he needed to think and anything else that Nessa could say would only serve to upset him further. He needed a clear space, an open space, one that did not contain his sister’s voice, or anyone else’s for that matter. He needed the roof.

The roof had a rather large party area with lawn furniture, stringed lights, ever a bar top where people could set themselves up to serve drinks. Normally this area was always in use but tonight, whatever fortune smiled upon him, granted him a very quiet evening. No one was here and Booker was allowed to sit and stew in his own confusing cloud of thoughts, memories, and attempts at planning. His mind was a sheer whirlwind as he tried to gather his thoughts but it was a lot to take in.

Thankfully he had plenty of time.

---

Booker didn't keep track of how much time had passed. When he first came up from the apartment, there was plenty of daylight. However, at some point in his stoic brooding, the blues gave away to dark shades of orange, then rose, and finally an encroaching darkness. The strings of lights that wrapped around the seating area flickered to life and staved off the dark. But even with the savior of illumination around him, Booker barely acknowledged it. Still he was deep in thought.

One may what he has to be upset by. Truth be told, there was a lot, namely the fact that Nessa has been lying to him since they were teenagers. That was a hard thing to process, the fact that Nessa had been lying about herself since they were young. Given their upbringing, he understood the need for secrecy… it to keep secrets from one another? Sure, they were human and each didn't tell the other absolutely everything, but this was major.

His thoughts were conflicting. Even as the evening came on and the chill took to the air, he barely acknowledged it. Booker naturally ran hotter than most anyways so he still had time before shivering set it; even then, his mind was too preoccupied.

As Booker struggled with his thoughts, and what he wanted to do with them, he just allowed himself to fade from the world. Still in the same clothes, Booker sat in silence on one of the wicker sofas, his emerald eyes looking out over the expansive city as he quietly drummed his fingers on the arm of the chair. Despite all the time, all the thought, Booker just didn't know what to do.

He loved his sister. He loved mutants. Therefore there shouldn't be any bad feelings. But it those weren't the factors that sent him to roof, he was here not because she lied to him, but because she felt that she couldn't trust him. In this world, with the life they've led, the one thing they could always fall back on was one another. But maybe that just wasn’t true anymore…

He caught the scent of the tacos before he saw her. Fresh food wasn’t uncommon up here, but right now, when the roof was dead to the world, it was alien. Footsteps followed, cautious ones that clearly belonging to Nessa.

>> ”Hey Book? I brought some dinner…”

He lifted his gaze, slowly. Confirming it was Nessa, Booker said nothing but instead continued looking quite wounded as he went back to staring ahead. Most would have taken this as a sign to leave him alone but the fact that Booker didn't bluntly tell the woman to leave, or leave himself, was probably as good of an invitation as she would currently get to take a seat.

As expected, Booker was the only denizen of the outdoor rooftop lounge. He sat there, silently contemplating. She wondered if he had other things on his mind beyond their conversation. The look she received when he realized she was there made it clear he did not. Booker was still considering how to feel about his sister’s need to keep a huge part of herself secret from him. The sun was already dipping toward the New York skyline, but her fate was still hanging in the air.

Vanessa considered going back downstairs when Booker looked away from her, but she knew her brother well enough to realize that was not his intention. If he wanted his sister to leave, he would have said so. Booker was too honest to be passive aggressive about something so serious. His honesty only poked at the guilt of being the dishonest one in their relationship for so long.

Quietly, she approached the seating area and claimed one of the wicker seats near Booker. Vanessa was not a fan of the lawn furniture; the rigid bumps of the woven wicker always left an imprint on her thigh when she was wearing shorts. Of course, without more pressing matters on her mind, it never occurred to her to switch to pants before making her journey to the roof.

Vanessa placed the tacos down on a small glass table. The situation was so different compared to their normal sibling squabbles, she was unsure of how to handle the interaction. Did she say something? She thought about apologizing again, but what would be the good of rehashing the same words? Booker had a near-perfect memory; he was not going to forget what she said. In the end, she decided it would be best to stay quiet, suffer the weight of the silence like a penance, and look out at the gorgeously painted sky until Booker was ready to talk to her.

Was it unfair to give his sister the silent treatment? Maybe. Given Nessa’s situation and everything she had to go through, all the secrets that she had to keep, Booker was fairly certainly that she had absolutely every right to want to keep certain aspects of herself to, well, herself. But that didn’t meant that he didn’t feel hurt by it. He was all for people only doing what made them feel comfortable, no one should be forced to come out or do anything that they weren’t ready to do yet. But all those years? In all that time she didn’t feel safe tell him that she was a mutant? That was what bit at him the most.

Sitting in stoic silence, Booker just continued to look out over the expanse of the city, his eyes drifting over the towering obelisks with glittering stars trapped within. The night settled in fast and his stomach was already beginning to rumble a bit at the prospect for food, but he couldn’t find the will to make a move towards it -- not yet. There were still too many pressing thoughts colliding within his mind, too many scenarios, too many possibilities and questions. He had hoped that separating himself from his sister would help clear the fog, but it did little but afford him the chance to come up with more inquiries.

Nessa didn’t vacate the area and Booker wasn’t sure he wanted to. While all this was vastly uncomfortable, he didn’t want to leave the roof, nor did he really want her to leave. They needed to hash this out but this was such a left field blow that he didn’t know how to react. They’ve never had a lie or secret go this out of hand for so long that it threw everything he knew into question. The dialogue had to be opened but the starting point was what was going to prove to be most difficult.

A sigh as he breathed in the scent of the fish tacos that were brought up. He glanced at them before he turned his attention back up to staring across at the city. His sister was a mutant, a fact he was and would have been fine with had he been told. Still, if they needed to pass through the rough and dirty patch before they could start forgiving, then he needed to know a few things first. He knew that if she were a telepath, she couldn’t read his thoughts. He was an adapted and there was no getting around that. But that still brought a question bubbling to the top of his mind.

”Did you know?” he whispered under his breath. So soft was the sound that it could easily go unnoticed. But to what was he referring to? ”About Chris? Did you know he was cheating on me?”

It may have seemed selfish for that to be the first question that Booker would ask his sister after she exposed her true nature to him. But this was Booker’s process. He needed to get the easy questions out of the way first, those that would help open the dialogue before they could get into the meat of “why did you lie to me all these years?” and so forth. Those would be hard say, even harder to listen to, but they could pave the way in the meantime by talking about the one mutual bastard in both of their lives: Chris Goodwin.

Chris. He was the reason that Booker was living with his sister now. The two of them had been close, so close that once or twice Booker even considered marriage. For as perfect and amazing as his memory was, though, the librarian never even suspected that Chris had cheated on him. Not just once, either, but through most of their relationship. Some would say that maybe he just didn’t want to see it and ignored things, others just figured that Chris was just that good at hiding his tracks. And maybe both or some of both were true, but with how much time Chris and Booker spent with Nessa, it was a question that he had to know the answer to.

He glanced at his sister out of the corner of his eye again, tears in the corner. ”Just tell me.”

Vanessa was starting to regret coming up to the roof. Sitting near Booker in silence gave her too much time to reflect on her mistake. Why had she been so scared? She knew Booker would accept her no matter what; the problem was Vanessa’s inability to accept herself. She wanted to live her life like a typical human woman, pretending her ability to read mines was as innocuous and not worth mentioning as a dander allergy.

If Vanessa wanted to deal with the crushing uncertainty of the future of her sibling relationship, she could have easily waited in the apartment. She would not have been close enough to Booker to confirm that, yes, he was electing to ignore her completely. She was keeping her eyes out at the beautiful skyline, trying to ignore the scent of the hot fish tacos between them. It had been years since her last bite of meat, but the stress and her uneasy stomach were both demanding food. The fish tacos smelled deliciously tempting, but she could not consider the thought yet. She was not going to start eating dinner while her brother contemplated her fate.

The silence was finally broken by a genuine question that came from a place of hurt. Vanessa felt for Booker immediately, but she was fortunate enough not to break his heart entirely. ”I never knew,” she assured him earnestly. ”Most of the times I saw him, he would be in your bubble. Even without that, I can only read thoughts when I’m maintaining eye contact, and at that, just the surface level thoughts,” she explained carefully.

”When he looked at me, he never thought, ‘I’m a cheating ****nugget.’ He was usually just thinking about how weird I am.” It was hard hearing people’s real thoughts, but Vanessa always assumed Chris, for the most part, was a good guy. She would have admitted to being weird if he said it out loud. It was a small detail she was not going to let ruin her image of Booker’s dream guy. Of course, he eventually tore down that image all on his own. Vanessa had to be warned multiple times what consequences assault and battery would incur, and even still, she sorely contemplated it.

Vanessa had thought about it. It was not impossible for Chris to have let the wrong thought surface in front of her. If he had, would she have said something? She believed she would have; as scared as she was to come out as a mutant, she never would have stood by and watched as a scumbag too her brother for a ride. ”I would not have sat around and let you date a guy as he lied and hurt you. I dunno, maybe I’m a hypocrite,” she mumbled, hanging her head low. She did not like the idea of being on Chris’s moral level in any capacity.

He had to know. As much as it could possibly open, for as exposed as he felt he was making their relationship by asking this question, it was just one of those things that Booker needed to know and needed to know right away. If Nessa had known about Chris and his cheating ways, for however length of time that they were together, it probably would have utterly ruined them as siblings. As he thought about it, Booker didn’t know if he could actually forgive her for that. To watch him fall to pieces, to break down so many times after learning how much of a fool Chris made him out to be -- in all honesty it probably would have been a relationship ender for the two of them.

Maybe he was too harsh. After all, she could have kept it from him in some misguided attempt at trying to not run his life. But the fact of the matter was that Booker was of the utmost notion that if Chris hurt him that badly, it would have been better to know about it from his sister, rather than walking in on the his former lover with one of his one-night conquests. Then again, was Booker really any better?

While he was up here, he wasn’t solely thinking about how much he felt wronged, but also about how misguided he was too. After all, Nessa had been hurt pretty badly by Becca (the redhead was just leaving bodies in her wake, or so he heard) and Booker still opted to remain friends with her. There was a difference in the fact that Booker had absolutely no idea about the cheating that Becca and the violinist, but there was a still a question of loyalty there. Maybe he was not better in the long run. Was this their lives? Lying and going behind the other’s fact to protect themselves most of all?

Maybe they really were just as selfish.

The air felt heavy as Booker awaited his sister to admit what she knew. He couldn’t bear to look at her, but instead just continued to keep his eyes focus on the city. The dark was actually somewhat beautiful and comforting. Who knows why he found it so interesting. Maybe he just wanted to look at one last beautiful thing before Nessa dropped an A-Bomb on their siblinghood.

>> ”I never knew...Most of the times I saw him, he would be in your bubble. Even without that, I can only read thoughts when I’m maintaining eye contact, and at that, just the surface level thoughts,”

It wouldn’t have been noticed but there was a small breath of relief. While it was entirely possible that she was lying to him, that she was merely trying to protect herself from more emotional harm, she said it with such conviction that he doubted that she was lying. Then again, she spent the last several years of their lives lying to him, so maybe his finely tuned crap-o-monitor was on not calibrated correctly.

>>”When he looked at me, he never thought, ‘I’m a cheating ****nugget.’ He was usually just thinking about how weird I am.”

He lowered his head. That much at least rang true. He never told Nessa, probably because she already would have known, that Chris thought she was pretty strange. Booker would never let it get beyond a mumble or two as that was one of those things that would quickly lead to an argument between the two gentlemen. Booker always defended his sister, always, but at this moment, he wasn’t exactly sure what he felt about her -- all he knew was that he felt hurt.

>>”I would not have sat around and let you date a guy as he lied and hurt you. I dunno, maybe I’m a hypocrite,”

He ground his teeth as he listened to her firmly state that even if she had known, she wouldn’t have let Chris get away with it. Booker felt another tear trickle down his cheek. With a steadying breath, he finally turned to face her, watching her for a brief moment. His express was...expressionless, to be honest. Instead of the usual trickster, it was just a unsure, slightly numb look about him as he watched her struggling with her own thoughts. When he finally caught her eye, he clenched his jaw before speaking.

”I don’t care that you’re a mutant, Nessa,” He said. ”I know you were trying to keep yourself self…” Another tear. ”But that’s what hurts. Not what you are...not the lying...it’s the fact that you lumped me in with mom and dad the second you decided to not tell me.” He turned back to face the city. ”And after everything we’ve been through...that’s what hurts the most.”