Devon’s grin sank away pretty quickly when it didn’t get even a chuckle from Noel. Well that had fallen flat. No more attempts at mirth from him. Hopefully sticking to the matter at hand would be enough to keep things controlled. Noel’s body language was as worrying as his own thoughts.

She went right into the direct worry – no he wasn’t this other Devon. It was more than a cautionary tale; it was a threat to those he cared about and their lives here. For Devon it was concerning but it was what he could do, what he’d already done that was the problem. Mutant power aside, the man needed help and clearly swept up those in his wake. Devon nodded slowly at her warning.

There may indeed be other dopplegangers to watch out for. She had the right idea of it too. Handle what you knew and could do something about. Guilt of something you hadn’t power over was a human tendency but one ultimately you needed to move past. Take action, don’t let your emotions ground you in inaction.

>> "You wanted to go down to the CLASS area?"

“Thanks, yes, let’s head downstairs,” Devon nodded. He stood as well and led them back into the messy common living space. The wind had moved all the furniture a little even as the few decorations he’d had went to the floor. A favorite vase of his mother’s was in pieces. He frowned slightly but it vanished as he said, “Let me get you a pair of sunglasses. And sorry for the joke.” Into his bedroom and then the closet he went, retrieving a pair.

“Here,” he handed them over, case and all. “They’re polarized so that should help.” Once into the elevator he typed a command to get them down to CLASS, covering the keypad to hide entering a changed password. Meanwhile, he took out his cell phone and ensured security was active in his place should anyone think to come flying back in…

Devon typed away for security and a crew to come repair the door tomorrow. In the meantime, at least Blueprint could board and tape up the hole. “You have the right perspective on this other Devon and what to do. I’m going to notify our people, the Mansion, Sanctuary… Anyone could have a duplicate out there.”

She was not going to throw up. This was the hope Noel desperately clung to as she began to look ashen beneath her tan. Every word she spoke and every step she took throbbed through her forehead. She frowned, and that too hurt her head. There would be no respite until she dumped some memories or slept and if sleeping was off the table, Noel needed a mirror.

"You shouldn't have to apologize. It just took too long for me to figure out, is all." How much trouble would she be in if she just sank down right here for a nap? She wouldn't. She was far too stubborn for that. But it was at least a little tempting.

> “Here,”

A glasses case entered her field of vision and Noel accepted with thanks. She hadn't lost time exactly, just been zoning out.

"Should invest in sunglasses stock." There. See? She could make a joke and lighten the mood and maybe then Hadden wouldn't look like a puppy whose soul she'd crushed when she got the chance to get those sunglasses in place and look up at him.

Once she slid the glasses on, Noel tried to relax before she hazarded a look. Err. No. His puppies were still kicked. Or maybe he was just that busy. Noel trailed him to the elevator and was glad for the dark lenses against the stark electric lights. It was a long way down to CLASS from here. Noel leaned against the corner of the elevator, folded her arms, and let herself rest her eyes. Just for a minute. The feeling of falling that the elevator generated was gentle, sure, but still enough to remind her that throwing up was still an option.

"S'good." He had a good plan. It'd be fine. No big deal. She was quiet for a long moment before she realized that she should probably prove she hadn't fallen asleep just yet. "Think they're all evil twins?"

>> "You shouldn't have to apologize. It just took too long for me to figure out, is all."

Devon frowned slightly and shook his head.

>> "Should invest in sunglasses stock."

It wasn’t a bad idea, considering how often he bought them. There were only a couple major corporations that made most sunglasses, let alone glasses. They also owned all the eye care companies too. Seemed dangerous, didn’t it?

For that matter he or someone with his abilities but far less scrupulous could ensure a heatwave of many sunny days, ensuring sunglasses got bought up. Soon they’d be begging for rain. Or he could manipulate storms and the weather for profit. It seemed that’s what Utopia had wanted of him. Who knows what this other Devon might be capable of…

Devon smirked slightly, but he’d already headed into the elevator by the time he did.

>> "Think they're all evil twins?"

“No, but… I still wonder what’s behind this. The weather and temporal distortions definitely seemed to lead up to this rip. Maybe it wasn’t one mutant behind it, but many. I wonder if this twin of mine knew,” he sighed briefly as the elevator stopped.

He’d already used his phones to dim the lights in the halls. “Let’s head to a med room so you can rest but be monitored,” Devon noted, his tone relatively soft and perhaps a bit distant. He kept typing on his phone, messages to Architect and Secret Keeper mostly. One to Blueprint. “How is your head feeling?” he asked as they entered but the lights stayed low.

“I’m concerned of your injury let alone the memory sweep, and clearly that Devon was a cluster to try and read. The way he influenced the weather made my skin crawl.”

"I think I would have noticed some scheme to break into another universe, but without asking him, I dunno." She was the answers guy so it really bothered her not to know. These kinds of things went better for her when she had some time to prepare. Noel puttered after Hadden once the elevator doors parted.

The hallway was dim which made sunglasses just that much extra, but they were really for Hadden's protection rather than her own. She assumed that if there was some pit to fall into, Hadden would go first since he was leading the way. Or maybe not since he was constantly on his phone.

A break-in would trigger a control guy like Hadden to go a bit overboard, wouldn't it? But it wasn't exactly a break-in.

> “How is your heading feeling?”

"Full. I need a mirror and to decide what to dump before I sleep otherwise, I don't get to choose. I didn't go too far. It's not like I think I'm him and I'm not bleeding from my nose or ears. I am uncomfortable, not broken." And here she thought she never learned. An ocular migraine, while disturbing, was vastly preferable to her other options.

"Hey. Last Christmas you didn't...?" Uh. No. Of course not. Noel definitely shut down the question about strippers before it got off the ground. And, she had to remind herself that she hadn't hired strippers either. That she usually treated Christmas as just another day or missed it wasn't sad in her books. It was much preferable to indulging the frivolous lonely void that Party Devon had been trying to spackle over.

The medical room Hadden had brought her to was obviously for smaller injuries-- stitches or maybe they did blood drives or something-- because there was a chair and stool rather than a gurney.

It was nothing like the hospitals she could recall. More like... a dentist? That made it easy to just climb up and curl up so that could lay her cheek against her knees. The sunglasses bucked, but she hadn't thought to remove them first. Now it felt like it was too late.

She was operating under the assumption that she wouldn't have to worry about protecting herself if there were other infiltrators.

Shoot. What if there were other infiltrators?

"If anyone's acting weird..." What? She would polygraph them? "Ugh. I don't like this. Haven's supposed to be a safe space for all of us." And there it was again. That feeling that puke was just over the horizon.

>> "I think I would have noticed some scheme to break into another universe, but without asking him, I dunno."

Devon nodded. Maybe the Other Devon knew something, but making random guesses at the origin was likely useless. He had a list of occurrences the team had gathered, but nothing was particularly useful. It was all moot now that the rift was open and they knew there to be dopplegangers of one another.

>> "Full. I need a mirror and to decide what to dump before I sleep otherwise, I don't get to choose. I didn't go too far. It's not like I think I'm him and I'm not bleeding from my nose or ears. I am uncomfortable, not broken."

“I’m sure there’s at least one or two mirrors for such-“

>> "Hey. Last Christmas you didn't...?"

He turned abruptly to her, an eyebrow raising in question. What did that mean? He continued off to the side counter, pulling open a few drawers before finally finding a couple hand mirrors for showing people wounds they couldn’t see normally. He hurriedly brought it over to her as she curled up on the inspection bed. Devon, however, didn’t sit down.

>> "Ugh. I don't like this. Haven's supposed to be a safe space for all of us."

“It is, though not much we can do about dopplegangers who might know the same personal details. I’ve notified Architect and Blueprint to wipe passwords and codes. Architect said some random key generator password thing will resolve the issue,” he gave a quick nod. “Secret Keeper seemed awfully apologetic by her non-stop texting.” He almost pulled out his phone, but he’d sent out some tasks and warnings. Up to the team to do the rest.

“…is there anything you would actually like to ask me?” Devon said quietly. “It can wait til after you handle the memories and your head.”

Wiping passwords and codes? Ugh. Noel had only just gotten the hang of her current one. She'd probably be locked out at least once in the near future.

She thanked Hadden for the mirror, but felt weird about wiping her own memory in front of him. It was oddly personal and a definite moment of weakness where she would be even more vulnerable than she was at present. She trusted him —this Hadden anyway— but Noel hated leaving herself open more than almost anything else. She had made herself a promise once upon a time that was powerful enough to persist through to the very core of who she was. Memories or not: Noel would not be helpless ever again.

"Would you watch the door while I do this?" There. Compromise. It wasn't asking him to leave. It was trusting him to double down on defense. She could live with that. Noel leveled the mirror with her face and was a little started by the woman who looked back at her. She didn't look well. That jived with how she felt, but she'd at least been trying to present herself in a way like she would be okay. The woman who looked back looked scared. No wonder Hadden seemed a bit overprotective.

> “…is there anything you would actually like to ask me?”

Noel tugged her hair free of its ponytail and smoothed it back from her face. It did relieve some of the tension in her scalp, but didn't really fix the mess inside her head. Her mouth watered in warning that any movement was potentially too much movement.

"Does it bother you...? That I have something that might be like your memories?" She would wait to erase based on his answer. She might end up cutting out more if it did bother him. After all, he hadn't wanted her in his head for whatever reasons he had and she tried to respect that even if she didn't understand it.

"And... this is stupid personal, but Devon is dating. Or whatever he calls that. Are you?" She'd never seen his control slip. Not once. Not a sliver of the vulnerability she felt around that one particular person she liked. So was that the trick? To stay safe, you just... don't?

Noel wanted him to watch the door, which got another nod from Devon. He moved back to the door, purposely putting his back to the woman who’d been making out with not exactly him minutes ago. It was hard to get the image out of his mind, especially since it’d been on his bed. It was very surreal to look back at yourself and reflect on what could have been, which apparently included drunkenly feeling up Noel.

“…is there anything you would actually like to ask me?” Devon said quietly. “It can wait til after you handle the memories and your head.”

It didn’t take too long – a few moments maybe – and she had one.

>> "Does it bother you...? That I have something that might be like your memories?"

Well that seemed a fair question. He was relatively guarded, private about some aspects of his life. He’d asked her to refrain from reading him as possible. Most people might be put off by the idea, an invasion of privacy, though of course this wasn’t really him but Dopple-Devon. Before he could answer though, she had another question.

>> "And... this is stupid personal, but Devon is dating. Or whatever he calls that. Are you?"

Now that was a weird one. If he was to understand, Noel was dating Ranger so this wasn’t some interest she was suddenly expressing. What about Dopple-Devon dating made her wonder if he was? Was it some way to tell them apart or an attempt to make conversation? Maybe it was another concern for his privacy?

Stranger too, Devon felt like he wasn’t yet supposed to turn around as he answered. He was giving her some privacy and maybe that’s what got her thinking of such. It was too hard to rationalize right now. “To answer your first question, it doesn’t upset me if that’s what you mean,” he said gently, eyes on the door handle. “I worry how those memories might impact you and that if anyone were to find out you could know something important it could put you in danger. That’s part of the reason I don’t want to divulge too much of myself and other matters. Haven respects privacy and the need for it…” Easy way to say secrets and lies, but it was a dangerous situation they were putting themselves in.

“I’m not exactly sure what you might have learned. Honestly, I admit I have my shame and guilt like any other. If anything, I’m more worried you will make judgments of me based on him now and those perceptions,” he frowned, chinning drooping slightly. “But I can’t control that and I should be smart enough, and remind myself, that you’re an intelligent person who has learned and adapted despite all your challenges. So if I’m doubting you or bothered by it, then I wouldn’t be respecting or trusting you.” He let out a deep breath.

“As for dating, no,” Devon shook his head. “I’m not. I did agree to meet Derek for a picnic during the day as a date, but I didn’t want to brush him off. I wanted to talk to him about-“ He stopped suddenly and drew out his phone. He clicked and swiped. A single, annoyed chortle left his throat. “And that was today. I missed it. Someone deleted it from my calendar…”

Another deep breath, more like a sigh, and Devon’s head dropped further. He immediately starting typing a text, an apology, to the animal empath. Who knows what had happened there. What a mess.

He wasn't mad, he was just worried. Noel wasn't sure if she tasted bile or if Hadden didn't quite know his own feelings. Either way it was hard to get a read on the veracity of his words. It had only just happened. He might have still been processing. That was a concession she was willing to give considering the fact that his first statement was resoundingly true. He wasn't mad. She hadn't totally destroyed his trust.

"I have Schrodinger's memory. At any moment I both know nothing and everything." She rubbed her eyes. There was no point in pointing out that she was known for not knowing things more than she was known for knowing things. It wasn't worth the syllables that would each make her skull pound.

He didn't have to trust her with his secrets. She was greedy to want them. It didn't really matter that he knew almost every secret of hers, she didn't make a point of keeping many unless they weren't hers to keep and the secrets Noel had to keep, she entrusted to Haley, Haven's Secret Keeper.

"He's not even the only emotional roller coaster I've tasted. Some people just feel so much." And she didn't like that. She didn't like that at all. Emotions were fickle and terrible and they needed to stay buried in the deepest and darkest of holes. Emotions led to assumptions and unfathomable reactions and all around stupidity.

> “As for dating, no... I’m not."

And then it was his phone that got all the attention again. Noel took her dismissal for what it was, but she couldn't help but offer one last observation.

"You're like an impenetrable tower, Hadden. Unassailable and all the synonyms. I'm just..." Confusing herself? Tired? Rambling? Giving out unsolicited advice in an area of life where she had too little experience? Ugh. "Devon has vulnerabilities." Bad example. Her head was making this difficult, but she was determined to say it before the thought potentially went away. "I... don't want to. But I'm trying to put down roots and grow. Don't not grow, Hadden."

>> "I have Schrodinger's memory. At any moment I both know nothing and everything."

Tempest managed a quiet chuckle.

>> "He's not even the only emotional roller coaster I've tasted. Some people just feel so much."

Devon sighed as quietly as he had chuckled. He’d been there; he’d ridden that coaster. It went up and it went down and sometimes those high climbs were amazing. The problem was the descent after. You lost more than your lunch.

>> "You're like an impenetrable tower, Hadden. Unassailable and all the synonyms. I'm just… Devon has vulnerabilities. I... don't want to. But I'm trying to put down roots and grow. Don't not grow, Hadden."

Still tapping away on his phone, Devon nodded slowly. Satisfied with his phone it went back into a pocket. He turned around slowly, blue eyes seeking her even if he was careful to avoid eye contact. Talking to a door of these topics was bothering him, though he wasn’t sure why. Oh, that was it. It reminded him of his first psychiatrist who always wanted him laying back, sitting still, gazing at the ceiling. He’d hated that.

“I’ve the same vulnerabilities, though I manage them differently,” Devon spoke softly. “I’m still on that rollercoaster, just I sit still, keep my arms in front of me and my hands on the protective lap bar. I’ve got a seatbelt or two on. The medications help keep me relatively stable. Yeah sometimes I get a bit excited and sometimes I’m a bit down, but so does everyone.”

He shrugged a shoulder, “Problem is they make me really thirsty and they pretty much kill your, er,” he paused, “Romantic interests. The lithium especially helps with the balance though, neuro-chemically anyway.” A finger tapped at his head, “Because if it doesn’t, heck even with them if I let my emotions control me then the impact isn’t only to me but those around me. The impact from my powers can be strong, dangerous…” He shook his head. “That Devon was sloppy, intoxicated and still he tore up my place and hurt you. I can’t explain all I had to suppress and how strong that chaotic mess actually was. That scares me; it reminds me. I get too manic or angry and I could hurt someone.”

He sighed, “I know this is more than you asked for, and please, don’t think I’m mad. I want to explain. I am growing and I want you to understand how. You are probably one of the only true friends I have,” Devon smirked slightly. “I’m careful. I don’t want to get so close things get bad... The tower could crash if the foundation’s not good. I’m probably building that tower pretty high now.” His gaze darted around the room and glanced at the ceiling.

“I’m trying to take it slowly in those areas I’m not so confident,” he nodded again. “Like the picnic date? Sorry about the phone but I had to text Derek. Our Dopple-Devon stole my date and met with him. He’s okay though. I filled Derek in, quick,” he nodded yet again. “Anyway… I appreciate the concern. I’m trying to surround myself with good, talented people. I figure a little trust helps build that strong foundation…”

Devon smiled, “Or should I say helps root that tree?”

> “I’ve the same vulnerabilities, though I manage them differently,”

Yeah by walling up, medicating, meditating. It was lithium, but that took time to cycle through the body. If party Devon wanted to behave like Hadden, he would need a host of other medications in the meantime and he hated every one of them. She had that experience and she hated it because he hated it. To some degree, Hadden could debate his alternate self without him even being here.

"Putting down roots isn't the same as building walls, Hadden. Roots grow. Walls decay.

I'm not even talking romance, Hadden. I'm talking..." A lot. Too much. Noel hesitated, distracted for a moment by a memory of Max in Latin class. Vulnerare. To wound. The English word vulnerable came from that root. Nobody could land a hit, physical or emotional, on Hadden. He wasn't open to wounding. He wasn't vulnerable.

Party Devon didn't care about being perfect. He'd come to terms with that and in way it had set him free.

"I'm talking about balance. Between the walls and vulnerability." Noel set the mirror down. She hadn't realized that so much of what Devon felt resonated with her. Or... was it just his memories that made it feel that way?

He wasn't unlikeable. He was unavailable. Gay, straight, bi, or helicopter-fetishist, nobody assaulted Hadden tower. Not even friends.

> "...The tower could crash if the foundation’s not good. I’m probably building that tower pretty high now.”

He admitted to a date, which was surprising to Noel. She didn't think he had it in him. In a way,
he hadn't. However Devon stole it, she was sure that had Hadden been really invested, he would have been there to prevent that. Maybe that was unfair, considering how little she knew. Either way, it was... raising the drawbridge?
Opening the door?

> "... I figure a little trust helps build that strong foundation… Or should I say helps root that tree?”

Rooting a tree. Her analogy. She smiled with reservation. Maybe they could climb it over those walls.

"I got a dog." Noel picked up the mirror and pulled the sunglasses up on her forehead so that they could be out of the way while she cut out some of those memories... starting with Christmas. "I've never done that before, but once I thought about it I realized that puppies only get older. Because I have a stable environment to come back to, the dog's age is an automatic validation that time has passed and to look for other clues.

And besides. It's nice to have somebody be excited when I come home."

She honed her focus and the world around her eyes narrowed down to what she could see in her own reflection and then it went beyond what she could see with her eyes and Noel moved into what she could see with her mind. Her eyes began to flick rapidly back and forth, too fast for normal focus.

She gathered up every little personal detail about the other Devon and told herself to forget. She kept the details that helped her know about the other world, even tainted as they were by Devon's bad attitude. She made herself forget the fight, the kiss on his bed, and the fall, though she didn't expect that to stick until she healed up from the bump on her head. Reminders could jog even her memory and help reforge mental connections.

When she was done, the headache was just a headache. The bump on her head, just a bump. She no longer felt like her skull was an overripe melon, ready to burst. Her eyes stopped shaking and, though harried, it was her in the mirror. As her vision expanded back out, she knew that she'd done it. She'd wiped her own memory.

She set the mirror down and the movement jarred the sunglasses from her forehead. Noel settled those into place over her tired eyes. Apparently she had this all planned out. Sometimes present Noel was jealous of past Noel's forethought. She was feeling pretty scrambled.

"You hurt, Hadden?" Noel could tell she was stiff and hurting, and based on their location, that was a known issue. If she was hurt and he was not, then apparently she'd done her job. She tucked her hands around herself and settled back in the chair, ready to doze. "Is this quarantine or can I go home?"

>> "Putting down roots isn't the same as building walls, Hadden. Roots grow. Walls decay. I'm not even talking romance, Hadden. I'm talking..."

Devon nodded slowly, explaining something of his past but clearly Noel was distracted. Soon her memory was drifting off as much as her words. He was resigned to nod and accept her advice for what it was, even if he felt his perspective slightly different. “Roots hold me down and I avoided that for a long time,” he had said.

Years homeless, staying at half way homes and shelters, taking odd jobs for a bit of cash for food. So much time at the beach in the summer or the mountains in the winter, though he always preferred the coasts of Connecticut and Rhode Island over Vermont and New Hampshire. Maine had been a good mix. It’s not like the cold ever bothered him anyway.

Eventually he’d stopped holding back and let it all go. He accepted what had happened, what he was, and focused on getting control over it. Eventually odd jobs meant some actual temp jobs, then he found his way to the city and school and Sanctuary… And now he owned a penthouse over a massive charitable organization while running his own rehabilitation and psychological business. He had roots, yes, and now his walls were fear and busy-ness. There was a lot about himself he still didn’t quite understand on the level of interpersonal relationships, but balance he struggled with all the time. Letting his emotions run wild, to hurt someone he cared about wasn’t an option.

>> And besides. It's nice to have somebody be excited when I come home."

Devon looked up and smiled though it didn’t quite touch his eyes. “That’s great,” he said, and he meant it. A dog was a good choice. Dogs had a talent for needing more than a cat, which likely grounded Noel too.

But her attention was on the mirror now and it wasn’t long before the curiosity and confusion he’d first recognized in her voice at their initial meeting returned to her. She'd wiped the memories. Tomorrow morning would be fun. I found you in my bed kissing my chaotic, unmedicated doppleganger from the other side of the rift. We both took a bit of it, but we’re okay. Check your email, change your passwords. There’s an app to download for randomizing.

Devon smiled again and shrugged his shoulders.  His blue eyes sought her eyes beyond the sunglasses, “We both got banged up though mine’s not so much physical. But yeah, you can head home. Thank you.”