She felt dizzy. She could hear the voice on the other end of the line and the second that she recognized it, she forgot where she was and who she was with. The name of her fiancée left her lips and covered the apartment in a heavy, dense fog. Agnes was lost now, listening to the sounds of the woman that she had said she would marry as she cleared her throat and seemed to be struggling to find the right words. Agnes found herself only half-listening, but she wasn’t looking for her half-naked ex-girlfriend either, she was staring into nothing. It took effort but she did force herself to listen in and participate in the conversation on the phone.

River’s voice was familiar but there was a hint of uncertainty in it – no, not uncertainly, caution maybe? She was asking general questions about Agnes: how she was? What she was up to at that moment? And vaguely included commentary on her own life. It seemed that traveling with the orchestra had been doing wonders for her because she felt useful again. However she was also beginning to find just how lonely life on the road was. All this was said very meekly at first, not at all with the usual piss-and-vinegar that the Sioux usually spoke with; she was…apologetic. However, once the conversation turned to the elephant in the room (in this case, over the phone), it came back with a vengeance.

”Listen, I know I screwed up by not telling you what was going on with me, but…so did you. Hanging with your ex and not telling me?” she went silent. ”Kissing her. I don’t care if you were drunk, that was pretty ****ed up, Ags.”

Agnes sniffled. She didn’t see where Rebecca had gone at this point and walked over to a window that looked out over the city. Her arms crossed over her chest, she carefully held her phone up between her fingers as she stood there, trying to wrap her head around what was happening. Though she had never wanted River to leave, she really hadn’t been anticipating that she would end up making her way back to her. At most she expected and angry message or two before she finally just gave up, came home to collect her stuff, and then leave. It definitely fit with what she knew of River. But this? Well, it was unexpected.

Clearing her throat a bit awkwardly, Agnes paused as she leaned her head down, wiping a few tears from the corners of her eyes with her finger. ”I…I know…” she whispered softly. For some reason her night with Rebecca didn’t even come to mind. ”I…really don’t have an excuse…”

”Not that I could ****ing accept one…” Another pause. The awkward clearing of a throat and River spoke up again. ”Sorry. Listen. I’m…going to be in town in about an hour. Can we…you know…sit down some place and hash this out in person? I don’t think phones are the best way to go.”

Without really thinking, Agnes nodded her head, her antennae lifting slightly. ”Oh…um…yeah. Of course. Where?”

Plans were made. River made the suggestion of this diner that she knew the both of them liked when they were living together. With a promise to be there in an hour, Agnes hung up with the brunette and sighed as she tapped canceled her call. Her arms went noodly as she casually tapped her phone against her bare thigh. She should probably shower and get dres—

Dressed…****!. Suddenly she whipped around to face the kitchen. There were the signs of everything that she had just finished engaging in. Most of the breakfast was still only partially done but the stove had been turned off to prevent anything from burning. However, the one person she was looking for wasn’t around – Rebecca. Where was she? She couldn’t believe that the phone call had made her forget her ex so easily. A quiver ran up her spine as she moved towards the bedroom door and found Rebecca there, getting dressed.

It was a shame to see such a sight. Not only because Rebecca was a beautiful woman both clothed and not, but it was a reminder of what they two of them had done. A reminder of the…mistake?...she had just taken part in. She gulped as she watched her ex for a moment, unable to find the words for what he wanted to say next. What could be said?

She gulped, chewing on her lip as her heavy, blue eyes looked downward. ”Um…t-that…was River…” she said softly, unable to bring herself to look at the redhead. ”She…wants to meet...with me...…to talk some things over…”

What a difference one phone call could make. It felt like a distant memory now, but Rebecca was certain she remembered declaring her love for Agnes and having the violinist return the sentiment. Things were just like they had been once when they lived together and Agnes was her everything. Before she chose opportunity over love, like an idiot, and leave Agnes’s heart open for River to claim. River had not learned from Rebecca’s lesson and walked away, but unlike the redhead, she did not wait as long to realize her mistake and come back.

Rebecca was already fully clothed when Agnes’s call ended and she dropped the verdict: the fiancées were going to get together and talk. Talking itself was open-ended, but Agnes’s tone and body language said so much more. She was no longer looking directly at Rebecca, because she was unsure of how to deal with the mistake she made. The voice she spoke in was soft, because she did not want to admit to Rebecca that her and River were going to try working things out.

Maybe Agnes did love Rebecca. No, that was not fair of her—Agnes did love Rebecca. Those blue eyes held no eyes the night before, or even this morning. They loved each other, but sometimes love was not enough, and there was another woman Agnes loved. She had every right to not give up on her engagement, and it was not Rebecca’s place to spoil that.

She had betrayed Nessa. She had tempted Agnes. She had stolen from River. There was no one left untouched by Rebecca’s influence here because she was selfish and wanted something she gave up. If she wanted to make things right, it started by not getting in the way.

It was one more time where Rebecca could ask Agnes not to let her go, and once again, she had to make the decision to walk away anyway. ”That's... guid... That's stoatin. Talkin' is important,” she affirmed, trying to sound sure of what she was saying, even if her voice was still trembling. ”Mebbe ye can clear th' air... figure it what's best fur ye.” Rebecca silently hoped the answer to that would be calling off their engagement, but she knew better. River had walked away once, so she knew what she would be missing if she gave Agnes up.

Rebecca held up her phone, looking to Agnes with a weak smile. ”Ah think Nessa wants tae talk, tay. Probably fur th’ best,” she admitted, acknowledging that they had their own issues to work through. The relationship was still young, and they had hit a rough patch. It happened, right?

Looking down to the floor, Rebecca leaned down and grabbed the bra she left there. As much as a small, petty part of her wished she could leave a hint for River to find, that was not what would be best for anyone, particularly Agnes. ”Mebbe thes was somethin' we hud tae gie it ay uir system? Growin' pains while we learn tae be friends.” It hurt to say, but it was possible that this relapse could be their way of dealing with the lingering emotional and sexual tension that was so thick between them. It was a slip they were always heading toward, and now they could move forward.

If she said that with enough conviction, maybe they could both believe it.

Agnes didn’t know what to think. Standing at her doorway, looking inside the room, she found that she couldn’t bring her gaze to Rebecca’s. Even when she had agreed to meet with River, she wasn’t sure what was going to happen. She figured that River just wanted to tell her off in person, but there was a small part of her that wondered if the Sioux was going to try and sort all this out so that they could get back together. But did she want that? Even before she remembered that Rebecca was in her apartment, she found herself questioning whether or not it was something that she truly wanted. River was great, yeah, but the last few months, her attitude, her jealousy while in New York show the violinist a side of her she didn’t know. Then the matter only compounded when she recalled that she had just spend the night with another woman.

Standing off to the side, Agnes found herself trying to catch a single thought that buzzed through her head. For the most part she couldn’t concentrate on any one. What was she going to do? She, at one point, wanted to be married to River, but Rebecca always had a place in her heart…always. But if she was so into Rebecca then why did she agree to meet with River at all? There were just too many thoughts for her to see or think straight. Upon greeting the redhead, she muttered a quick review of the phone call and blindly informed the redhead what was happening, without thinking of how Rebecca would take it.

Agnes lifted her head. Rebecca seemed…enthusiastic (?) about the whole ordeal. She wanted the two of them to figure out their place in the world and talking was the key to that. She found herself drifting back to the video that she had helped Rebecca to make just yesterday…with her girlfriend in the room. Goddamn…she had met Nessa only yesterday and in less than twenty-four hours had seduced her into her bed. What the hell was wrong with her?

”Y-Yeah…” she whispered in response. ”Communication…”

Where was the communication the last three months when Agnes was texting River like mad to make sure she was at least still breathing? She sighed, not wanting to make herself mad just yet. She had a feeling that enough emotions were going to bubble up when she finally met with the young Sioux. But even though she was going to meet River, she didn’t want what was happening between her and Rebecca to end just yet. There had to be a way around this. If she could just get pass this meeting with River, maybe she could meet with Rebecca and they could figure something out? Rebecca was always the best to talk to with tough situations.

That’s it. She would make a date…well…not a date. A meeting, of sorts. Rebecca would agree, right? ”Becca…” she started to say.

>> ”Ah think Nessa wants tae talk, tay. Probably fur th’ best,”

Agnes stopped before she could even form a sentence. She blinked, looking between Rebecca and the phone she held up. That’s right, she forgot about Nessa…yet again. Struck dumb by the remembrance and the fact that Rebecca was so up for meeting her, Agnes lost her voice. What was this? She couldn’t decide if she were mad, jealous, sad, or scared. Everything was happening so fast that she couldn’t get a grip on a single emotion.

”Oh…” she finally squeaked out. She watched as Rebecca grabbed the last of her clothing from the floor.

>> ”Mebbe thes was somethin' we hud tae gie it ay uir system? Growin' pains while we learn tae be friends.”

Her face was a confusion hodgepodge of emotions. Even something who knew her as well as Rebecca did wouldn’t be able to discern what she was thinking. Confused and unable to fully process what was happening, Agnes latched onto two things: 1.) she had a meeting with her ex soon so it was probably best to shower and get the smell of Rebecca’s perfume off her, and 2.) Rebecca had a point (however flimsy) that she could force herself to believe. It had to be true, right? They really didn’t get to end things right. Maybe this was just the bon voyage that they needed?

She gulped. Meekly she nodded. The corners of her eyes began to blur a little due to tears collecting there. It hurt to think like this but really what else was there for her to do. She needed to focus on what was happening now and, in the end, try to figure things out when it was less fresh. For the time being, it was all she had.

”O-Okay…” she said. ”Maybe…you know…maybe you’re right.” she shrugged her shoulders. She tried to make her voice sound a bit more lighthearted but it noticeably cracked. A second after the higher than normal tone and the ex runaway took a steading breath. ”Um…I…” she tried to find words but, sadly, nothing meaningful would come. ”…I should…you know…probably w-wash up…” She sighed as she made her way towards the bath, but stopped when she turned around to face Rebecca. For a second she considered just walking over and kissing the redhead one last time but found she didn’t have the boldness for it. That was always Rebecca’s department. Instead she gave her a weak wave. ”G-Good luck with Nessa. I’m…sure you two will work things out.”

Rebecca was conflicted between what she thought was the right thing and what she felt was the right thing. Her feelings were wrapped up in the perfect morning she wished she could return to, but her mind reminded her that they were sadly not the only people in the world to consider. River wanted to talk to Agnes and Nessa wanted to talk to Rebecca, and those conversations had to happen. Rebecca could not let Agnes leave things with her fiancée unresolved, wondering if the redhead seduced her into giving up a future she wanted.

They were both hesitant. After their night together, of course they were; it felt like slipping back into an old dress that hugged your curves and made you feel comfortable and sexy.

But now they were both going to have to wrestle with the decision to either tell their significant others about what happened or try to leave the fling in the past. Rebecca knew the right thing to do would be to tell Nessa what happened and hope her girlfriend was more forgiving than she deserved. It was right, and in line with the virtues of “honesty and communication” she had gone on about the night before, but Rebecca knew she would not bring herself to do it. Nessa might leave her, which she deserved, but she could also forgive her and ask her to stop seeing Agnes.

For all the reasons cutting those ties made sense, Rebecca did not want to do it. She did not want to leave Agnes’s apartment. Hell, when Agnes started for her washroom and turned to look at her, Rebecca wanted to work up the courage to stay. To tell Agnes she did not want to leave, and to run into the tender embrace she was already missing.

But she would not ask Agnes to end things with River for her. And Agnes would not force Rebecca’s hand and ask her to leave Nessa. They were both going to find out if there was something worth fighting for in their relationships, and if that was the case, Rebecca had to bring up the ultimatum she intended to use the night before, until she got caught in those sapphire eyes.

”We’ll see.” It was all she could say to the well-wishing for her relationship. “I hope so” would have shown more commitment, but Rebecca could still not say for certain what she hoped would happen next. ”But Ah hink... we shoods tak' a small break frae hangin' out, jist tae calm things doon. Especially if we decide tae make things wark.” Her last comment left the “we” ambiguous, but it held true regardless. If they were going to patch up their separate relationships, or if they were going to eventually work toward something new together, time and distance would help. They needed to take stock and figure out what they wanted, and lingering feelings and hormones would not help that.

Rebecca walked toward the door of Agnes’s apartment, but turned around one last time. She quieted the voice telling her to stay one last time. ”Whatever happens… guid luck today.” And with that, Rebecca walked away, feeling tears rolling down her freckled cheeks. She had to get back to her apartment and clean up so she could reach out to her girlfriend after a night with the woman she loved.