Alex half listened to the conversation from where he was getting snacks and at first things seemed to be going well. They had something in common and Leo was talking about the photography she took. And that's where things went wrong. Alex had to resist the urge to facepalm as Leo started talking about metadata and how he had found out about her.

Looked like he would have to step in and stop him from completely ruining his chances. He grabbed what snacks he had and hauled them over to the counter, carefully setting them down...before giving Leo a swift but not too strong whap to the back of the head. "Stop creeping her out dude, you sound like a stalker."he sighed, sounding more like an older brother than a friend.

He looked over at her with an apologetic smile, "Sorry about that, he means well though."

"Ahhgh!" Leo took his bop in stride, the manly strangle-scream cutting off his torrent of stupidity.

> "...you sound like a stalker."

@(&! Really? A quick mental review and... oh no. He totally did!

"No-I-just-think-you're-really-cool-and-I-want-to-get-to-know-you-know-you-and" Leo ducked expecting another swat when he'd started to panic spew all his words and had to stop in order to take a breath. He was screwing this up so baaaad!

"Look," Libby began slowly, using the excuse of ringing up their snacks to take her time. "I just... if you want to get to know me. Send me a DM. You seem like an okay kid. Like a you have a good friend. Good friends don't just hang out with weirdos, right?" She beseeched Alex. Good, friendly Alex.

But it was too late. She'd hammered her point home all too well. 'Kid' and 'Friend.' adding the word 'good' to friend did not make it in any way sting less.

"Yeah. DM. Sure." He hated that little tiny flame of hope. It was dumb.

Payment was made, but Leo was shell shocked. He hadn't had a game plan at all. That was his problem, he decided.

When they were back at the car he let his head fall into the car frame and just sighed away a few dreams where he and Libby had been a happy couple.

He watched Leo flail to rescue the failing conversation and he could see why. Despite her earlier anger, she was quick to basically forgive him. She seemed genuinely nice and didn't immediately shut him down, like he knew many other women would have rightfully done. Alex nodded at her comment about good friends not hanging out with weirdos.

But this didn't seem to help Leo any, if anything he seemed to deflate even more. He didn't ask right away, waiting instead till after the snacks were paid for and they were in the truck. Or rather by the car, as Leo thumped his head against the frame of the car with a sigh.

"Well...that wasn't a complete failure,"he commented as gently as he could, "At least she's willing to talk to you again." That was the silver lining right, that the lines of communication were still open, Leo still had a chance to set things right. To his mind that was a win. But then again, he knew very little about romance or pining after someone or any of those things outside of the few sparse romantic movies he had watched.

"It was actually a complete failure." Alex didn't know the signs. He hadn't grown up on the internet like Leo had. This was friendzone 101. "She's probably in there blocking my username right now. She was just letting me down easy in case I was weird enough to say mean stuff to her face."

Ah so dumb. Leo felt like sinking into the deepest darkest hole. Instead he left his head leaning against the cool metal of the car for a little moment of self-reflection and self-pity.

"You're so... together." She picked himself up and glanced over the roof of the car at his friend. "How do you do it, Alex? You're doing the training and everything else and you keep it together just fine in front of everybody. Even the ladies." Suave. Cool. Calm. Jesus, he was damn near perfect by comparison.

He opened the car door and helped find a safe place for the snacks. "Teach me your ways." He was so not even kidding.

Alex could only shake his head at Leo's pessimism. "Then move on, if it's meant to be it will, if not, it's not. End of story." He shrugged but he knew it wasn't really helping Leo. It was a positive poster idea, not really anything substantial. The other boy seemed to be hooked on whatever idea he had dreamed up in his mind and it only served to hurt him.

"How do you do it, Alex? You're doing the training and everything else and you keep it together just fine in front of everybody. Even the ladies. Teach me your ways."

He laughed at that, "I don't think what works for me will work for you... Do you really want to know?" He waited on that confirmation he knew was coming and sighed. "Realize that it doesn't matter. Everything you do won't matter in the end because the thing you want won't happen. No matter how much you struggle, no matter how hard you try, the best you can do is stay positive and keep moving until you eventually die." He didn't look at Leo as he spoke, instead choosing to stare off into space. There, brutally honest and upfront without getting to the root of it.

It was contradictory sure, in the past couple of years or so he had gone from homeless, to having at least a dad and that took struggle and luck. But on matters of love...it all just left a sour taste in his mouth. He was convinced, if he didn't die before 21, he was going to end up loveless and alone. There was no point and denying that fact. There was no one in the world who would want him, not like this, not with his bad luck and bad reputation...Not with his sexuality...

Did he want to know? Uh. Yeah. Leo raised his eyebrows and nodded to coax the words out of Alex's mouth.

And the words were so not what he was expecting.

One blink.

"That is some darkest timeline Dory sh** right there."

Had he seen Finding Dory? Leo was finding that Alex hadn't had a proper childhood and tried the best he could to fill in the holes. At least Finding Dory was newish still. Leo flopped back into his seat. And then he unflopped. No. This was not something he could just flop away.

"Do you really feel that way?" Leo leaned across the middle console to make sure he was seeing this eye-to-eye. There was no way, right? "That is no way to live, Alex."

Alex tilted his head at that one, he vaguely go the reference. The fish had a catch phrase, something about swimming. He shrugged it off, focusing on starting up the truck before Leo decided to lean over the middle console. Perhaps leaned in too close.

"Do you really feel that way? That is no way to live, Alex."

He looked over at him, face passive as can be. "Yeah I do and I've been living this way for some time Leo. The world is cruel and uncaring and it's a cold comfort, but comfort nonetheless."he sighed, pulling the truck out of it's parked spot and back down the road. "If the world doesn't care, there's no pressure to be anything or have anything. I just have to be happy with whatever drifts my way."

He might have sounded harsher than he meant, more resigned to his fate than he meant. But, that's the way things were going to be, he wasn't going to drag anyone into the mess that was his life. It didn't seem to matter how right thing may be going, if things were going to get ruined, he might as well be the one to take it all. On his own.

>"Yeah I do."

Those three words... hurt. And Leo really wasn't sure why. He adjusted his seat belt so that he could more comfortably lean across the dividing console. He wasn't going anywhere just because Alex had started driving. In fact, he had half a mind to pop over and commandeer the brake pedal to make his friend stop and focus. This felt like an important conversation: more than just a botched pick up job or a bad day.

"The world might be uncaring." Darwinism, adaptation, mutation: none of those gave a flying flip how they affected people. "But the people in it aren't."

"How can you feel that way when there are so many people who care about you? You got a new dad who seems pretty cool." Pun intended. "You have friends who would fly across the world with you and stand shoulder to shoulder with you when the shi** hits the fan. You believe in stuff. You helped me believe in stuff! That's not pressure to be somebody, man. You already are somebody." At least, he was already somebody to Leo.

The human did finally flop back into his seat. Alex wanted to be happy with what drifted toward him? Like some blobfish? That wasn't even 'just keep swimming' talk any more! It was... it was... wrong! And he couldn't articulate why but it really felt terrible.

"What can I do to change your mind?"

"The world might be uncaring. But the people in it aren't. How can you feel that way when there are so many people who care about you? You got a new dad who seems pretty cool. You have friends who would fly across the world with you and stand shoulder to shoulder with you when the shi** hits the fan. You believe in stuff. You helped me believe in stuff! That's not pressure to be somebody, man. You already are somebody."

"PEOPLE LEAVE, LEO!" Alex's hands were trembling, the whole time Leo was talking, his grip on the steering wheel just grew tighter and tighter. His cool was rapidly wearing off. "IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW MUCH YOU CARE!" He took a couple of deep breathes and shook his head, trying to at least stop shouting. "Eventually, eventually everyone leaves. Death comes or you find a reason to separate from people. One way or another, it doesn't matter what you think or what you feel or believe. It all circles back in the end. There is nothing left in me to deny this fact, if I fight this current there will be nothing left. All I can do in the end is leave my bones to uphold some form of good so someone else can have the chance I never got."

"What can I do to change your mind?"

He was silent for a moment, jaw working, grinding his teeth, before he finally spoke. "Rewind time, take away all the hurt and suffering I have ever felt. Take away the death and the struggle, the murder and violence. Bring back B.D. and Olive and Herbert, bring back Shield and Void, bring Nasir and Mary, bring back every bastard who's ever fucking abandoned me or died on me! Fuck, bring back the men I've murdered to survive!!" The truck pulled to a stop at the light and he knew he felt tears stinging his eyes but he was too stubborn to rub at them.

"You and Jiri are lucky. So, fucking lucky, to have never known what death looks like when it stares you in the face. What it's like to be demeaned and abandoned and have your very existence become a struggle. I wish, I could see the world through your easy lens. I wish I could think about dating without worrying that I will eventually drag someone into a conflict they won't survive. Or that each new conflict will make them want to abandon me. You've only stuck around because you've gotten it in your head that your some sort of political savior and Jiri's stuck in it whether he wants to be or not, had it not been for his mutation he would still be at his school in the same town as his family."

Everything was just spilling out, a dam in his head just broken open by Leo's words and a long time of temporary patches. "...Leo, I don't think I'll make it for much longer. At the rate I attract trouble, I'll be dead before I turn 21..."

>"PEOPLE LEAVE, LEO!"

"Yeah, but--"

>"IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW MUCH YOU CARE!"

Wow. If there was one thing he hadn't expected tonight, it was this. Alex was wound tight and in control of a 2 ton vehicle where Leo was just a passenger. And what he thought didn't matter. And his opinions didn't count.

If there were tears in Alex's eyes, Leo really only knew because he could hear the water in his voice. He was busy rubbing his forehead and very carefully not looking at anything.

"You've had a very different life up until this point. I know." And he cared. The whole point of him going to the Mansion was so that he could learn more and empathize better. But it didn't matter how much he cared. He had been told that in no uncertain terms. Still, it wasn't his feelings that were on trial here. Leo quashed his hurt down tight to deal with another day.

"The cliche answer is that you wouldn't be the person you are today if you hadn't known those people and done those things." Leo cringed. He was sorry to say it, but it did have to be said.

"Look, if I could poof take away all your hurt, you'd be a dumb, sheltered puffmuffin like me an Jiri. I'm here because I'm your ally. I'm weak and stupid and I can only do the internet thing because I don't know anything else. I'm not a f***ing savior. I'm the biggest imposter there is!" One of the only humans at the Mansion. The chicken in the fox den. The only guy that had to be rescued when there were mutants around and people in danger. He wasn't an action hero. If anyone was a blobfish, it was him. But at least he was trying.

And it wasn't like Leo could tell him to stop attracting trouble. Most of it hadn't been his fault. He hadn't asked for it.

"Okay. Fine. So you're just going through the motions until you die? And, you're okay with that? Is your dad okay with that!? HOW IS EVERYONE OKAY WITH THAT!?" He was mad! Really mad!

"Turn here!" Leo pointed and then pulled out his phone. He was going to fix this. They were going to get Alex a freaking date.

"The cliche answer is that you wouldn't be the person you are today if you hadn't known those people and done those things."

He couldn't help but snort at that, "Thanks preacher, like I haven't heard that one before..." His voice was bitter. He's had so many encounters whilst homeless. Mostly from people who were better off, who didn't have to stay in the places he ended up calling a temporary bed. Preachers, volunteers, church goers, people who picked him up off the side of the road. They were able to move on and he was stuck.

"Look, if I could poof take away all your hurt, you'd be a dumb, sheltered puffmuffin like me an Jiri."

"At least I wouldn't have faced death all the time, at least I'd have a chance for a normal life! I am dumb Leo! I'm still catching up on f***ing high school and if I ever make it to college, I'll probably be 40 by the time I graduate! Half my life wasted on trying to catch up to everyone else! Not to mention on everything else I've missed out on! Socially, culturally, I am stunted! Every time you and Jiri talk, all I can do is just sit there and nod like a fucking idiot. Like, 'oh yeah I definitely know why that reference in that movie is so funny and definitely not making shit up as I go along' and 'Mmhm, I'm definitely caught up on all that political history and why this one particular guy in recent years is problematic'." He felt left out and left behind more often than not, the world didn't operate on his skills. They operated on the skills gathered from having an ideal life, one with access and money. Out of all of them, Leo had the most advantages, no powers required.

"Okay. Fine. So you're just going through the motions until you die?"

"Yeah, that's been the plan since I ran away at age f***in' 12. One day at a time..." Why wouldn't this light turn green? He really just wanted to get home and go to bed, he could feel a headache building and pulsing at his temples.

"And, you're okay with that? Is your dad okay with that!? HOW IS EVERYONE OKAY WITH THAT!?"

"Dad's dealing with his own shit right now, so he doesn't need to know. Besides...he'd probably agree with me." They were two of a kind, dear ol' dad had led a similar life and was dealing with the nightmares now and he wasn't about to pile on his own problems to that. Sam might act normal enough during they're training sessions but Alex knew about the night terrors and the fatigue and the drinking. It was hard to disguise when it started making the man sloppy.

"You're the only one who's ever bothered asked how I fake being so put together! Honestly, I'm surprised nobody picked up on this before! Nobody else knows!" And that was probably a testament to how much he trusted Leo, really. No one ever bothered to ask how he dealt with things, all that mattered was that he was and whatever he was doing wasn't destructive enough to be readily apparent.

"And of course I'm not okay with it! It's not normal but it's the only way I've learned how to deal! With everything that has ever happened to me! With everything that will continue to happen!" He took the turn without thinking, without questioning Leo's directions because, why would he. It was the middle of the night, where else were they going to go besides home.

"YOU ARE NOT DUMB!" He was shouting. They were both shouting, but Leo had a certain extra volume to his words which, once they were out there and he realized how very loud he'd been, he tried to reign it in, at least a little. "There is a difference between intelligence and being in the same godd***n echo chamber the rest of us are in! Left!" He directed Alex again, glad they were arguing because Alex apparently needed some FACTS hammered into his THICK SKULL.

"You feel like you're on the outside because you're missing experiences which are DUMB. PATENTLY DUMB." He was mad at facing death, but that's what movies and books and heroes and villains were all about. Normal people never had to learn what they were made of. "Normal people can hardly tell their days from their weeks from their years! They make up dumb stuff, in-jokes, to make sure they at least have something to talk about!"

Alex lamenting what amounted to a lack of dank memes was quite frankly the stupidest thing Leo'd ever heard come out of Alex's mouth.

He consulted his phone again for directions as he weathered Alex's last rant. "Turn here."

The ColdSteel stuff, he hadn't known. Leo wasn't exactly privvy to the intimate details of any of the X-men's lives.

"Look, I don't know about how to deal." The movies and the books, they only dealt with the interesting parts. That left him terribly unprepared for psychological counseling. "But I do know one thing. We're here."

Leo pointed to a neon "OPEN" sign across the intersection that pointed down to a basement establishment: Little Shop of Games.

Alex was gonna be so mad. "Do you want a crash course in culture?"

"You feel like you're on the outside because you're missing experiences which are DUMB. PATENTLY DUMB. Normal people can hardly tell their days from their weeks from their years! They make up dumb stuff, in-jokes, to make sure they at least have something to talk about!"

Oh that was just infuriating! Leo was just not getting it! "If you think it's so dumb and the way I've lived is so cool, then why don't you do it?! Why don't you just pack it up and leave?! Abandon everything, travel on foot, face disease and starvation and death and danger the way I did! Oh right! You won't because you know you won't enjoy it! You know that whatever you think will be the cool thing you could talk about to girls would not be worth the goddamn damage!"

He took the directions, almost on autopilot at this point. "You're comfortable and happy! It's not dumb when it's the way NORMAL life is! It's not dumb when everybody seems to know everything except you! What was dumb was abandoning my one shot at a normal life because I was afraid of my foster parents! I was afraid getting hurt and the only thing I ended up doing was hurting myself!"

"Look, I don't know about how to deal. But I do know one thing. We're here. Do you want a crash course in culture?"

He blinked, surprised that Leo's directions were in fact not towards home but toward some small games shop. He was half tempted to turn the car around but instead pulled it into a parking spot. "Fine, but since you seem to think it's so cool, you're getting a crash course in survival later."he grumbled before getting out of the truck.

He actually didn't protest at all which threw Leo's expectations completely out the window. Oh. So. He did want to know?

"Everybody's usually cool at any game shop. They're," he stopped and had to correct himself, "we're the lowest of social lows as far as humans go. So we can't afford to hate anybody more than we hate ourselves. Or. Maybe politicians? We can hate them the most."

He was ready to go, hand on the door when Alex had to get in one last jibe.

> "Fine, but since you seem to think it's so cool, you're getting a crash course in survival later."

Leo went white as a sheet.

"Then turn around and go home." It was mortifying to say, but he'd already tried it. Leo was no hero.

"I-I tried it. It didn't turn out well. I can't... I'm not... you. Okay? I don't have the same... I just... I don't want to be a damsel in distress. So I shouldn't put myself in those situations to start out. I'd do it again if it meant that much to you." Alex could help keep him safe, he was almost sure, but that was a hell of a lot to put on a friend's shoulders.

It'd be better if they just... didn't.

"It's probably too late for anybody cool to be there anyway. We can just go..."