“No no no, they are very serious.” The blonde boy said. He made sure to hold open the theater door for her. When they went to buy tickets, he stood on tip toes and pushed two crisp twenties across the counter. Seeing the ticket prices and the teenage ticket seller popping bubble gum in her mouth was so much easier through Glitch's eyes. Much higher definition.

“Have you ever watched with director commentary on? He is so serious. Very big talk about deconstruction of action and hero films through ironic overuse of tropes. He is so serious, it is 110% more funny than anything in movie. Perämies—he is man who raised me—he is,” Wait no, past tense, he could English this right, “he was always watch with Most Serious Face and get very angry when I was laugh that Ethnic Side Kick was take five minutes to die dramatically.”

That had happened in Action Man III, before Token Girl was mutated by Radioactive Hamburger From Farmer Who Cared More About Production Levels Than Public Safety and gained her amazing super-strength-like-cow. Perämies had maybe not spoken to him for a whole day, which was also maybe how long it took Panu to stop laughing every time he saw the power hijacker's Angry With You face. Perämies took his explosion movies much more seriously than real explosions.

“It is people who take these movies serious that are make them most funny,” the blonde boy confided, as they took their seats. He did not get snacks for himself. That would be disrespect to her.

The inside of the theater was a lot drier, which made Glitch glad. Even if puddles were mostly harmless, the possibility of stepping into a deep one still made her nervous. She pulled a few bills out of her purse and offered them to Panu. “Here. This is for mine.” Movie tickets were a little much to accept from a kid.

“Nah, I don't really watch them.” Too boring. Mostly. The one Panu was talking about sounded like it could be entertaining enough to watch. “Wouldn't it be funny if the director was an evil genius who realized that if you talk about how 'deep' something bad is, you can convince people it's a work of art?” People like Panu's action movie fan... father, was it?

“I heard this one's got a 'mutant' mutant in it. I wonder how hilariously offensive it'll be,” she mused aloud as she sat down. If characters like Token Girl and Ethnic Side Kick were any indicators, it had to be very.

The little Finn stood up to his full height of 138.5-or-6 centimeters and put his hands at his sides and did not accept her money. “This is my gift and also apology. Is no-good apology if I let lady pay.”

He did not know if this was a because-he-was-a-stranger thing or a because-he-was-a-child thing, but the result was the same. His pride was Bigger Man and he would not take money at all not ever.

Once this Very Important Issue was settled, he was happy to go find seats in theater. He had not been to many movies in theaters. If the projector was digital than he just watched Whole Film before commercials were done and then feel asleep next to his Adult, and if it was non-digital than he fidgeted whole time and squinted through camera phone lens at bad resolution and jumped at too-loud noises he was not expecting. Either way was stupid and waste of time. But with Glitch here, he had best resolution viewer on market sitting next to him. This way maybe first time that Panu had looked forward to a movie. He tried to keep this out of his step but maybe he was a little bounce as they went to seats. He let her choose; wherever it was good for her to see from was exactly where he would see from, too.

>> “Wouldn't it be funny if the director was an evil genius who realized that if you talk about how 'deep' something bad is, you can convince people it's a work of art?”

Panu liked this idea. He grinned. "There are three blogs and two fan sites and one sub-Reddit that are dedicated to this idea," he helpfully informed her. "Also one fanfiction staring director and Jar Jar Binks Is Sith Lord conspiracy theorists." This one had warnings of 'SLASH FICTION' and 'ADULTS ONLY' so he did not read. Fan fiction with these warnings was ten times worse than horror movies with R-rating.

>> “I heard this one's got a 'mutant' mutant in it. I wonder how hilariously offensive it'll be.”

'Very' was very real answer. This was first scene of movie, shouted by man standing on top of a stage, holding Bad Hair Candidate For Presidency hostage:

“Surrender now, Action Man. For I am Mutant-Mutant, and with my powers of Mutation, soon the entire city —nay, the entire world!— shall ascend from mere mortality to the ranks of Homo Superiority. When all are heroes, none shall be!”

Panu wished he had bought popcorn. This was excellent popcorn movie. He watched through Glitch's eyes and listened through her ears and leaned against her arm. This would be better if they had couch he could curl up on, but movie seats were okay once he kicked off his shoes and tucked his feet up on the seat. She was not best pillow, but steady purr of electricity under her metal skin was like being next to living security blanket.

She tried, yet he wouldn't budge on that. But he had a good point. Even if it was an accident, playing puppet with someone did warrant a huge apology. Seriously. If Panu hadn't been a kid, things may have gone very differently.

“Oh yeah, I saw that fic. Don't read it.” Great story that should never be discussed with anyone. Ever.

Without a sense of touch, it took Glitch a while to notice that Panu was laying against her arm. Was he tired? It wasn't bothering Glitch, so he was free to do that, though that couldn't be a comfortable headrest.

“Some of-” Glares from the nearby audience members cut her off. Maybe she should have chosen the back corner of the theater instead of the dead center. She continued with a much quieter voice, “Some of those lines are ripped out of other movies.” Her finger then pointed to the presidential candidate character that looked suspiciously like a certain real life politician. “And now the director's revealed his political views. Bad move. Want to root for Mutant-Mutant?” Watching this unfold was amusing. For movies like this, the real fun came from mocking them.

Panu saw the glares through her eyes in hi-def. He grinned. It was not an Action Man movie if there were not people around who were angry with you.

Still, it was Not Polite to talk in movie theater. He could do better.

<You are right about quotes. There is stream of live tweets identifying. Current estimate is 85% recycled dialogue, but Director Blog claims 100% and fans are going obsessed crazy trying to find all. That one is from Rocky III.>

No one was glaring at the blonde boy snuggled against the robot's side. This is because the blonde boy was doing nothing but sitting very nice and quiet, maybe asleep even, because his eyes were closed and so was his mouth. He was speaking directly into the audio-receptor of her ears.

“What is Capital City worth?” A desperate, dirt-stained-yet-manly Action Man asked.

“Nothing,” replied Mutant-Mutant, a grin slowly spreading across his face. “Everything.”

<Kindgom of Heaven,> Panu helpfully identified. <Were you ever rooting for different character? Villains are always Best.>

“Whoa!” Glitch jolted, nearly out of her seat. Panu's voice was inside her head! Well, directly in her ears, to be precise. The technopath had to be messing with them.

“That's not okay,” she expressed after a period of silence. Then she thought about it more. “I mean, I guess that's kind of okay sometimes...” Speaking to her didn't make her do anything. Heck, it could actually be kind of useful, like a weird form of telepathy. “And, by the way, nah. I root for the heroes when they're worth rooting for, 'cause-”

“Shut up, everyone's trying to watch the movie!” shouted an irate voice from behind.

Right, they existed. Even if the movie was one line of stolen, nonsensical dialogue after another, she didn't want to ruin everyone else's experience. She rummaged her purse for a pen, wrote something on a scrap of paper, and handed the note to Panu to read. Please warn me before speaking into my head.

Panu's heart skipped wildly and he sat up very straight and not-next-to-her and also the back of his head hurt from where her arm had bumped him as she moved so so fast. He did not say anything, he just sat very still. This was the best thing to do when you had definitely done something wrong but you didn't know what.

Something he had done was Not Okay.

But sometimes the something was okay?

And now she was talking about heroes and villains again so the something must not be as bad as her WHOA had made it seem and so probably it was okay to start breathing again. A little.

(Besides), said a maybe-mean voice somewhere in a whispery back of his mind, (she cannot hurt me. This is a Literal Fact. If she tries I can stop her and make her walk into traffic.)

This voice was not very nice, but it was a little comfort. He relaxed back into his seat, and went through list of things that he was doing when she WHOAed. He had been leaning against her, so he did not do this again. He had maybe looked asleep, had it looked rude so she had made loud noise to startle him? He sat very politely with blind eyes pointed towards screen so that he would look Very Attentive now. Also he had been looking through her eyes, maybe she did not like that, but he did not really want to stop and she wouldn't know if he kept doing it, he could always say he had stopped if she asked and anyway she was doing interesting things like writing--

>> Please warn me before speaking into my head. 

--Oh. He had also been doing that.

But it was so cool and he could only do it with her which made it like a secret awesome language between them, and it was not controlling her at all, just sending audio to her ears exactly like her ears were meant to work just without using the middleman of air this was lame and stupid and did she expect him to write back because that was also lame and stupid, also he was not 100% sure he had ever written anything in English that was not on a computer screen, he would have to review his memories to check but he was 99.99999% sure he had not.

Fine.

If she did not want to use her tech, he would use his. Panu pulled out one of his phones (which was 176% lamer than using her inbuilt circuitry) (also he maybe sunk lower in his seat, like he had seen teenagers do when World Was Stupid) and put these words on the screen for her:

Always I am on the side of villains. They are more real, like people I know. Heroes are too good to be Real World thing.

“Turn off the phone,” someone behind them hissed, because the audience was getting a little feed up with them.

Okay, Panu was evidently at some “Evil is Cool” phase. But who could blame him? Villains sometimes got the funny lines and awesome moments. Kind of like the one in this movie. Seriously, who didn't want to drag that certain presidential candidate through the mud like Mutant-Mutant?

The audience wasn't receiving the phone well, either. At this rate, they'd be kicked out and everyone would hate them. She would be banned from that theater forever. And there wasn't much a bright yellow robot girl could do to sneak back in.

She handed him another note. Permission to speak into my head granted. That form of communication was still questionable, but it wouldn't attract the usher's attention.

Already, he could control her movements and what she heard. Could he read her thoughts? Alter her personality? Rewrite her memories? The possibilities were disturbing. This she had to find out for herself. Can you hear me? she thought.

Glitch intended to have a long talk with him after this. A very long talk.

Panu was reading her next note even as she was writing it, because it was her eyes he was mostly looking through.

It occurred to him that maybe she wouldn't like that. Therefore: he contained his happy until after she had handed it to him +2 seconds to allow for a dramatic show of reading it with his own camera lens and then he sat up straight and polite again and was Much Happy.

Much Happy in her ears.

Thank you thank you I am 120% not make you regret this, is Best Way to communicate

Hopefully the volume was not too loud. He had not tried to make it loud, but he had not tried to make it quiet, either. His voice sounded maybe a little different than when he spoke out loud; this was the difference between how other people hear you, and how you hear yourself in your own head. 

She was being very quiet now. This was quiet that maybe was best filled with super-secret conversation topic, not-at-all for ears of stupid crowd of sshers sitting around them.

Do you think you could also find way to talk back to me very silent? Then we can be two-person Ultimate Spy Club, no not-technology-mutants allowed.

If she had been trying to communicate all along, he had not heard.

Panu's excited voice was startlingly loud, more so than when he first spoke to her using that method. She needed to put a bell on him and his voice in her head. Somehow.

If Panu was asking if she could talk back, he must not have heard her thought. Maybe she didn't “think” the message right. How did telepaths do it? Concentrating? Placing fingers against temples? The ones from comic books did that a lot, right? She did both, thinking, Testing, testing, one-two, one-two. As much of an attempt as it was, the hope of him being unable to hear that was still very present.

She passed him yet another note. Tried sending a message. If you can't hear that, I'm not sure what else to try. The next sentence was scribbled down as an afterthought. Maybe I can teach you Morse code or something. Something that didn't involve peeking into her head.

She put her fingers against her head and then she sat like that as many long milliseconds twitched by. If Panu was a dog then he would be one of those grayhounds that was caged up before a race and standing like a ball of coiled wire waiting for door to open.

She handed him another note. He maybe had slumped his shoulders in disappointment while she was writing the first sentence, and perked up again for the second. He waited until the message was in his hands to respond.

I did not hear, sorry. Were you trying to think in your mind? Your brain is like airplane black box, I have not been able to find way in. Would you like me to try harder?

I can know the Morse code! The internet knew Morse code, and he was wikipediaing it right now, so now he also knew. It seemed a little slow and inefficient but they could always work on better thing later. For now, secret code! You can tap with fingers or no toes in your shoes so that no one can see or you could blink or click your tongue whatever is good for you--

The technopath had many helpful suggestions and maybe was forgetting that her processing speed for audio files was not as quick as his.
 

Would you like me to try harder?

“No!” she shouted, though she was drowned out by the ridiculously big car explosion onscreen. Good thing too, because she forgot about the audience again. She slumped back into her chair, relieved that it had failed. As long as he couldn't find a way in, she could cross being mind-hacked off her list of worries.

Tentatively.

Okay, a kid like Panu being unable to break in didn't tell her much about what an older, more experienced, more powerful, and much more malicious person was capable of. As a mutant, Glitch hated to be paranoid of people like her, but the existence of individuals that could mess with her mind gave her the chills. At least this boy couldn't.

He already knew Morse code? It figured, a technopath could probably search the internet. He had lots and lots of ideas, some of which weren't even physically possible. Glitch picked one of the simpler options. She tapped her finger against the armrest, sending out a message.

Does this work?

The audience maybe did not react to her shout, but Panu jumped a little in his seat, and then sat very still and polite with hands-in-lap as he waited to see if there would be more shouting. He did not know why she was angry, she was the one who was trying to talk head-to-head, it was her idea and now she was shouting.

When children grew up they became adults. Adults were volatile and always looking for excuses to shout at children. Panu had hoped that maybe tech-mutants would be an exception to this rule because tech was 110% more logical than normal crazy human brains, but Glitch was a data point that said No Panu, you will also be crazy and shout-at-children when you are old, it is just normal part of grow up.

Panu had many many long milleseconds to reflect on how stupid growing up was before she made peace offering of tap-on-armrest. Her question was nice nuetral not-shouting but he knew there was only one response adults wanted.

I am sorry for make you angry. Please forgive me.

He was 250% not sorry it was not his fault but this was what you said when adults shouted so that maybe shouting was all they would do.

Not exactly a straight answer, but Panu seemed to be responding. Responding with an apology. Geez, she now felt kind of bad.

I'm not angry, she assured him. Mind reading is freaky. She would have explained further, but the inefficiency of translating every word to dots and dashes would make that response minutes long. Waiting for the movie to end would be easier.

Action Man was currently standing on the podium next to the presidential candidate, passionately praising and defending his desire to protect the country from “mutant menaces.” She rolled her eyes and snickered. Whelp. At least the real-life counterpart would never be elected.

You're foreign, right? Seeing Action Man's eyes tear up, Glitch shook her head. This is a big embarrassment.

A little awkward, too. She hadn't seen any other visible mutants in the theater. They may have very well been the only ones there.

“What our country needs,” Action Man said, his fist over his heart, his voice heavy with manly tears and pride. “What our country deserves. What--”

The camera jostled erratically, and zoomed on a newcomer standing at the back of the crowd. “What our country deserves,” the man said, “is me.”

“Deus Ex Machina Man,” Action Man growled.

(Deus Ex Machina Man had died at end of last movie, but anyone who thought 'deus ex machina' could be killed was maybe not understand the term.)

I am born Finland. Now I am American. I think many things about your country are embarrass but not matter how bad, is somewhere in American that some one has bumper sticker of it. This country is always take Much Pride, like Action Man. Is good cultural representation.

She seemed to not be yelling anymore. It was hard to tell in Morse code, but she was talking to him, which was good first sign.

Why do you think it is embarrass?

The Finn had not picked up on the 'mutant menace' theme. More specifically: he had not picked up on it as bad. Mutants were menace, just like him and his father and the rest of his family in Ragnarok. This was also cause for Much Pride.