Talk about the media sent Maya into lower lip chewing mode. "I've kind of been avoiding it as much as possible since the whole laptop... thing." And since getting black out drunk had definitely NOT solved that problem, Maya hadn't revisited that solution either.

"If it's a problem for your publicist we could do something. Less outside or something. I mean, the tech push is done so thankfully no more exposure on that front. I wish those suits hadn't come out so creepy." She laughed, but it was a hollow sound. "There's not a lot we could do about the X-men thing." Because she wasn't about to stop that. That was the one thing she could do these days.

"It's hardly fair to keep us cooped up, but laying low is an option too, I guess." He had the shop to maintain. Probably publicity things too. So far, Maya hadn't had all that much reason, outside of Cafas' urging and X-missions, to leave the Mansion. The X-uniform was like a shield all to itself. She wasn't afraid of bad publicity there because there'd hardly ever been any good. It was this attacking her personally thing that was new.

> "Are... are you okay? They've gotten pretty nasty."

"If they would just leave Rowan out of it, I would be a thousand times more okay. He makes an easy target and I hate that my public gaffs are heaped on him. He's never going to have any room to make his own." Maya was more than happy to let Cafas steer while she tried not to let the weight of social pressure get her down.

> "Restrooms, the nearest one is over by the carousel, which may be more your speed if you're having trouble staying solid."

She wrinkled her nose at him, bothered that it'd been that obvious. Maybe she just shouldn't go outside anymore. She should just sit in a creepy suit and not disappear. His publicist would love that.

"Do I need to meet your publicist?" It felt a little like meeting a principle, except out here in the non-school world Maya was so not on the honor roll.

Still. It was a net positive when Maya could do things like slide her arm along Cafas' back underneath his jacket and walk hip to hip next to him. Or, as their height difference allowed, Cafas' hip to the dip in her waist.

"Lead on!" She bumped her hip out which nudged Cafas' leg wildly in front of him. That got a round of devious smirking. Of course, she would only use this new found power for good. And mild embarrassment.

Cafas tried to smile as Maya went back to being silly. He might have stumbled had it not been for all the experience in fights. Instead he simply adopted the silly walk, though suddenly he didn't feel quite as silly. "Maya, I'm not changing because of them, and I'm certainly not changing us because of them. It won't help, anyway, and it won't do Rowan any good to have to lay low either. Not that... Sorry that wasn't my place." Cafas tried to see if Maya was mad at him about it. With a lighter tone, one tinged with a plead for forgiveness, he continued. "Meeting my publicist might be a good idea though. This is his field, after all. He'll know how to handle this."

He keeps me out of media trouble well enough.

If Alfie could get the media off Maya's back, or heck, on her side, it would change their attitude on Rowan too. God, it'd be so nice to not want to tear magazine editors in half. Though he knew they were only doing what got the most attention. Maybe they could convince them to take the romantic angle. Two long time X-men fighting crime and dating had to be worth something right?

Yeah maybe leave it to Alfie...

Cafas went for food, even as his leg was being frequently and cheekily thrown forward by a certain someone's hip. He may need to claim that as his sovereign territory too. His own arm was happily around Maya's shoulder as he checked the little brochure map for something closer that they could eat. Something that would also have drinks.

Oh man that place is literally right here.

"Okay, how do you feel about mexican? Or would you prefer walk around food? To that end they have pretzels, white castle, hot-dogs and a bunch of snacks. If you wanna sit down, there's a bunch of stuff along the boardwalk, and pretty much anything you could ask for within a reasonable walk."

Cafas looked up when he sensed someone in front of him. He appeared to have nearly walked into a woman a good few years older than them, and certainly a mutant, judging by the minotaurish appearance. Cafas was very glad he hadn't walked into her. She had him by a couple of inches, and her build was similar. "Sorry."

"No, It's fine! Oh gosh, you're really Cafas!" The woman turned her excited gaze to Maya "Which must make you Ghost! I was just... I just wanted to say, I think you guys area super cute couple! Can I get a photo with you both? I've never met any X-men before!"

"Uh, yeah of course! Fine with me." He turned a questioning gaze to Maya. She was, after all, part of the aforementioned "you both".

> "Not that... Sorry that wasn't my place."

"What isn't your place?" She hip checked him again and then went to search his face. "Cafas, I want your honest opinions not for you to walk on egg shells just to keep me happy." She also was a bit confused why he'd thought he stepped in something. Rowan looked different. It was a fact. If they walked around pretending he didn't, it wouldn't do any of them any good. "I assume that everything you say to me comes from your best intentions. Is that... wrong?" That would be horrible if she was wrong. "I mean, we're on the same team."

"Mexican? Oh! Big soft pretzels!?" Everything sounded so good except hot dogs. Hot dogs were way off the list. "I decided Mexican, if that's okay. It might be nice to sit for a minute." Eating and walking was pretty well ingrained as taboo to Maya.

And she tugged on his lower back, but Cafas had to realize he was about to walk into someone on his own before he came to a stop.

> "Oh gosh, you're really Cafas!"

The woman gushed like any other woman would. Maya was already extricating her arm from around her boyfriend, ready to give him the space they would need for a photo when she was personally addressed.

> "Can I get a photo with you both? I've never met any X-men before!"

She could have kissed the woman, but, again, she didn't want to be creepy. "It's so nice to meet you!" Maya went in for a handshake. A happy, vigorous hand shake. Somebody liked her. Somebody really liked her!

Of course she didn't mind! In fact, she asked for Cafas to take one of the woman and Ghost alone with her phone. Rowan would be so happy to see it. Maya might have been just as starstruck as the Minotaur woman.

It was things like meeting the Minotaur lady that really made being high profile people worth it. When you added the fact she was more a fan of their X-man role than Cafas' acting, it was all the better. Her excitement and respect earned her as many photos as she wanted and a very sincere hug from Cafas. He made sure to impress upon her just how important to him it was, knowing that what they were doing as X-men was actually helping mutants be more accepted.

God knows it hasn't helped us any.

When Brittney, as they discovered the minotaur's name was, made her gracious and very thankful exit, Cafas rewrapped his arm around Maya and beamed at her. "Look at you, the big celebrity X-man. Take it from me, keep her in mind when people are being jerks, it really helps." Cafas walked the excited Maya around to the front of the restaurant and got them seated. He really wished he could have told Brittney how thankful he was for how happy she'd made Maya.

"Look, about before. You're not wrong. I really care about you guys. I just don't have the experience, nor the genetic link, to be offering my opinions on parenting, do I? I just... I really don't want to screw this up by being an ass and crossing a line." But he hadn't crossed a line, so he just kept on smiling, and stroked Maya's cheek with the back of his fingers. Her pretty cheek with its smile and it freckles.

My cheek.

"Man Calley really messed me up, huh? That was all eggshells all the time, at least early on." No, talking about Exes is weird. But was it? How were they any less a part of their pasts for having been failed romantic endeavors? The long term ones especially could define that part of your life, why would it be a faux pas to talk about that? Cafas didn't claim to understand that one.

The metal manipulator looked down at the menu in front of him and immediately made sure the drinks were covered. Food though... "This is my cheat day for my diet, so I feel the need to beg you not to judge me for this." Because cheat day meant he was allowed to eat things like cheese, and simple carbohydrates. Cafas was feeling like eating the equivalent of two adult meals was on the cards here. Maybe more.

How many burritos can I eat and still survive a roller coaster?

"Uhm, and maybe can you order the drinks? It just feels safer that way... Just water for me, it might be cheat day, but Coke's just a little too far."

Now that she was dwelling on it, Maya realized that her life had always afforded her some amount of celebrity. Being the gaijin in school. Being one of the mutants who'd survived the camps. Being an X-man. Running the Full Circle with it strict neutral ground policy. It was just so terribly rare for that to mean something good.

"Did you know we get fanmail at the Mansion? I don't know if the amount was negligible before the AMAs, but there's a lot more now." And she was afraid to open any after she'd opened a package of Milkbones for Rowan.

> "...I just don't have the experience, nor the genetic link, to be offering my opinions on parenting, do I?"

"Everybody starts somewhere. Besides, my dad's not my bio dad and he does just fine." Maybe that was an unfair comparison since Maya hadn't known, but maybe it was okay. Her dad had known. And it hadn't meant a thing to him. "I promise I'll let you know if you're a butt?" Because, really, that was the best she could offer on that front.

> "Man Calley really messed me up, huh?"

Was it wrong to readily agree there? "I feel like we're just trading baggage sometimes." And that was funny for some reason. Pathetically funny. "Was it ever any better? You said 'early on,' but when we met up at that club you didn't seem terribly happy."

> "...cheat day..."

"You're on a diet?" Maya ordered water for them both. She asked for no ice in hers, but when the cup inevitably came with ice in it, she didn't complain any further than sighing. She sucked down the glass in little time since the ice took up more than half the cup space.

Food-wise Mexican was pretty easy for a sometimes vegetarian. Maya ordered a cheese-only quesadilla meal with a side of steamed beans. Steamed beans did not sound appetizing and they were typically cooked with some kind of pork, but it was better than bean slop that was guaranteed to make her tummy hurt later.

Cafas' order made Maya realize just how 'on a diet' he'd been. "Can you really put all that away?" No judgement, she was thoroughly impressed. "When Rowan's on a growth spurt he eats more than me and you're like three times as big so I think there's sense in that somewhere." Okay. No judgement but maybe a little laughter. Their little two person table was going to be covered.

Cafas didn't know they got fan-mail at the Mansion at all. He wasn't entirely sure if Maya had meant the x-men or the Mansion itself. He could see why both would receive both fan and hate mail. Perhaps it was a case of both. Still, he never saw any of it. Was he really that unpopular as an X-man?

"Everybody starts somewhere. Besides, my dad's not my bio dad and he does just fine. I promise I'll let you know if you're a butt?"

"I wasn't sure if uh... You wanted me to start..." Cafas avoided eye contact for that one. He was a little embarrassed, he'd only really met Rowan once, and Maya and he had been dating for what? Three weeks? Nearly a month? But he cared about both of them. Enough that it sincerely hurt him when he read the hateful comments about them.

"I feel like we're just trading baggage sometimes. Was it ever any better? You said 'early on,' but when we met up at that club you didn't seem terribly happy."

Cafas at least had the good grace to look a little ashamed. He liked Maya. Maybe he loved her. He knew he'd made the right decision with her, but... The club, and more to the point the Sanctuary, had been wrong to Calley. Not telling him about either had been self preservation, though he wasn't a stupid man and would likely put two and two together.

If he hadn't already.

Cafas came back to the question. "For a time? Before publicity tours, before NYPD, before we'd spent years barely seeing one another. It wasn't perfect, but Calley allowed himself to get over his homophobia, admitted to himself that he cared and for a while it was happy. I guess we just drifted apart. Constant stress and stupid hours. It needed to end." Cafas shrugged. He was done feeling sad about it. Their relationship had been effectively over for years. "But you're not wrong, I was pretty miserable in that club until you turned up." The night had picked up after that point, despite the tears.

"You're on a diet?"

"Always. Four thousand calories, five hundred grams of protein a day, complex carbs only, and healthy oils. The majority is fresh meat and vegetables. Seriously, this physique doesn't just maintain itself." He wished it did some days, but on the other hand he enjoyed training. When drinks were ordered Cafas noted Maya also got water. Maybe she was done drinking, or maybe she was being thoughtful. He assumed it was likely a mixture. "Our dates are my cheat days, which is likely why you haven't really noticed."

Food was ordered, and the look of incredulity from the waiter was hilarious. Maya's face wasn't that far behind on the incredulity scale. Though honestly, she seemed impressed.

"Can you really put all that away? When Rowan's on a growth spurt he eats more than me and you're like three times as big so I think there's sense in that somewhere."

"Can, and will. Believe me you miss normal food when you have a diet, especially when you're trying to maintain a six pack. Though as you may have noticed, I have let that go a little now I'm not likely to be doing any shoots." Though it was still pretty well defined. That was more out of habit than anything else. Cheat days were a bit of a hazard for abs though. He'd need to go back to serious diet mode if he got a call he liked the sound of.

> "I wasn't sure if uh... You wanted me to start..."

Maya put her hand over Cafas'. "I don't want you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, but Rowan's at the age where he's been asking strangers on the street if they're his daddy. The more he sees us together, the more... I don't know if he'll take to the idea permanently or not, but he likes you well enough."

She was fully aware that the idea of being a father was panic inducing to most, but she couldn't seem to stop. It was important, one of those make or break points in their relationship. "You didn't ask for this, I realize, but we're a package deal."

And when she was gone? She didn't really want to think about that, but she might update her will if Cafas was amenable. She would certainly want Rowan to have someone on his side. Sam was great, but Sam had already started adopting Mansion kids. He didn't need another one. And it was a touchy thing to talk to her dad about. He was only getting older. He would love him, she was sure, but how long would he last? Didn't Rowan deserve some stability?

For a time Calley and Cafas were happy. Maya hadn't ever been aware of that time. Maybe, selfishly, she'd been hoping there hadn't been one. She took her hand back.

Four thousand calories was a lot easier conversation topic to cling to. And goggle at.

"Four thousand?" Her hands started measuring imaginary hypotheticals in front of her.

One half head of broccoli was something like 50 calories if she remembered right. So, that was like a bunch of that. How much did a broccoli weight? "26 pounds." She looked up at Cafas once her mental computations had run their course. "Uh. Not that you eat only broccoli, but if you did that's like 26 pounds of it in a day. Wait. You definitely said meat. I don't know the calories for that off hand. So just a toddler's weight in broccoli each day. No big."

Maya stopped the waitress and asked for a refill. "Volumetrically, that boggles my mind." And she considered herself quite good a spatial reasoning.

"I don't want you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, but Rowan's at the age where he's been asking strangers on the street if they're his daddy..."

The thought of the poor boy asking strangers if they were his father was heartbreaking. Was it just that it was the norm, according to society and TV, that he have one? Probably, but it wouldn't make the pain of not having one any easier. And if, as Maya suggested, he was starting to question it with Cafas...

"You didn't ask for this, I realize, but we're a package deal."

Cafas really didn't know how to feel. They'd talked about it before, if he'd ever considered kids. Briefly, sure, but the discussion had been there. He still wasn't entirely certain. Not because of Maya or Rowan, but because of himself. He couldnt stand the idea of hurting the kid though. "That's a pretty great deal." Cafas smiled at her hand on his. He smiled at the thought that maybe they could actually try being more family like.

But a worried frown soon creased his brow, his eyes shifting green and brown. "But I'm kind of a wreck. Not much of a role model... Well, I guess now I'm getting help for the sake of two people." He nodded to himself almost imperceptibly. It was a scary thought. Failure now had a much higher price. His resolve was steeled by the thought of what was now riding on him making his life work.

Success is my only option.

Maya' hand left his as he spoke about Calley. Well, he supposed that settled the question of weirdness. Maybe you weren't meant to say there was ever something there? But that would be unfair to Calley, and really unfair to his past self. They'd both made a real effort while they could. Upsetting Maya was not his goal. He'd just wanted to let her know why he'd been such a mess in the bar.

Luckily, the talk of how much food he ate a day seemed to perk her up.

"Four thousand?"

Cafas watched her work, amused by her shock. He'd explain it once she was done, but he was happy enough to just sit and watch her measure imaginary food in front of her. It was endearing watching the gears turn in her head.

"26 pounds. Uh. Not that you eat only broccoli..."

Not a toddler's worth, a lot more broccoli than most people though.

Cafas smiled ruefully across the table. It was a lot of any food, though vegetables tended to be less calorie dense than meat and fats. Certainly less than protein shakes. Overall he ate two people's worth of food on a daily basis, because he weighed one and a half, and worked like three.

"Volumetrically, that boggles my mind."

"It's a lot, yeah. Meat's something like four to six times more calorically dense than broccoli by mass. It's still a crazy amount of food. It's the sort of amount of food you need to train yourself to eat." It had taken Cafas nearly two months to work his way up to eating like that. That had been years before though. Before Dusk, when he was very much getting all the food he could out of the X-man "Live free at the mansion." deal.

Yeah might have abused that one a little. Probably wouldn't hurt to divert some of my investments into the Mansion's name.

"Between training, the orders for traditionally forged weapons at the shop, and general on duty stuff, I end up doing somewhere in the vicinity of 8 hours of exercise a day though, so I kind of need it. The diet halves when I'm not doing traditional smithing. That cuts me down to 3 hours of training a day. One and a half lifting, one and a half training martial arts and cardio." With only Verdy to fill the role of an apprentice when he needed, it often fell to him to do things with smaller hammers than would be efficient. He just didn't get the power from a sledge without the handle length.

Maya ran her hands over her forehead and down her cheeks to her messy braids and finally stopped to lace her fingers behind her neck. Her heart ached at the thought of Rowan getting a real dad like she'd gotten a real dad. Was this how it was for her mom?

She didn't care about the caloric value of meat. Not really. "That's a lot of time training." Potentially a lot of time away from family. A family that wasn't even his. Sheesh! Who was she to ask him to take care of her child? Rowan was hers. Her mistake. Her redemption. Her survivor. Hers.

"Uhm. The Calley thing is hard because I know him. Knew him. Heck he was there for the birth of my- Rowan." She closed her eyes and inwardly kicked herself both for the word stumble and the fact that she'd brought it up at all. My children? She didn't want to explain how she'd only come home with one.

"I'll give you a pass on the details for now. Not exactly the most hunger inducing story, but after agreeing to shock bracelets and hospital confinement because of the potential complications, Calley sprung me for some fresh air. Apparently fresh air was all labor was waiting for." She shrugged and hoped that that did not have video evidence on the internet. Surely, someone would have waved it in her face if that were the case.

"The point is, I wish I could make him a villain in my head. Then it'd be easier to make this seem less like... I'm poaching or corrupting you or a charity case or half the other things that've been mentioned to me since I started dating you." She remembered a certain someone calling her an adultress. Which, technically, was true, she supposed. Maybe all of it was true.

Maya offered Cafas a half smile. It really wasn't going to get better than that for now. "I don't- I mean, I'm not- it's fine. Really. I just... he was my friend. I chose to be selfish with you. And that's to the disservice of my friend." Calley and Ghost probably were not friends after this.

"And the problems... I mean, is anybody ever really ready? You could spend your whole life trying to reach some standard that nobody's ever gotten. I would make the argument that you're a better role model because you've struggled." Of course, maybe she was just eager to make that argument. The elemental chewed her lower lip.

Cafas shrugged at the comment about training. "Five hours a day on a business, three to train for the X-men and potential future acting gigs. It's a job." Maybe not the most traditional of jobs, but it was his. Though if all went how Maya looked like she wanted it to, he might have to give it up when she...

Nope, not now, let's just not go there now.

As it turned out, they were going to speak about Calley. Cafas tried not to feel stupid for missing some clear sign that they were meant to. It helped that the stupid din't get very long before the guilt got to come back.

"Uhm. The Calley thing is hard because I know him. Knew him. Heck he was there for the birth of my- Rowan."

Cafas didn't take long to do the math on that one. Son of a kitty cat. Would it have killed Calley to, say, talk to him about that at some point? It was hardly like he could claim not to know Maya and Cafas had known each other. If he hadn't been listening to Maya he might have begun wondering what else he didn't know. The stumble barely registered as more than an emotional bump in the sentence to Cafas.

"I'll give you a pass on the details for now..."

Seriously, we need to do something about how freely we're electrocuting mutants these days.

The rest of the short tale was still more than Calley had ever told him about it. Maybe Maya would have, had they really spoken much over the years. Maybe Calley would have if he'd asked. Maybe a lot of things. Mostly Cafas just felt guilty for interfering with a friendship tempered in the fires of such a personal event.

"The point is, I wish I could make him a villain in my head..."

Cafas had a thing or two to say about what people had said to Maya, and he sympathised a lot with wishing he could make Calley a villain. He held his tongue until Maya was finished speaking though. His glass of water, and all thought of food, were forgotten. He had no idea how to fix things for Maya, but she had his undivided attention whenever she needed it, for as long as she needed it.

"I don't- I mean, I'm not- it's fine. Really. I just... he was my friend. I chose to be selfish with you. And that's to the disservice of my friend."

Cafas disagreed. The break up had been upsetting for both Cafas and Calley, but it was likely the healthiest option for both of them at that stage. Cafas shouldn't have kissed Maya that night. He certainly shouldn't have gone to the Sanctuary with her. He should have broken up with Calley before that point. But that was all the guilt there was to assign, and Cafas wasn't even sure he could bring himself to feel it, given how things with Maya were going.

"And the problems... I mean, is anybody ever really ready?..."

Cafas took a breath, not exactly sure where to begin. The breath was let out in a short sigh. His eyes flitted from the half smile back to Maya's eyes. "You didn't poach me from Calley any more than I poached you from Sebastian. Those relationships were over, and maybe we were fools for clinging to them as long as we did. We did what was right for us, and now a whole lot of people that weren't there are slinging horrible words around. Why? The media told them to." The same media that had told them how idyllic Calley and he were, without ever knowing how much strain the relationship was under. Maybe those people were now scared too, that if such a perfect relationship could fail, theirs could too. If only they knew how imperfect it had been.

Might save them a lot of heartache and stress.

"I haven't spoken to Calley since we broke up, though to be honest with you I'm not certain I would have if we hadn't, but now everyone is free to find something that works better. Pain, emotions, the dashing of a fool hope that things will magically get better, who knows, maybe they'll never wash away, maybe he'll never forgive either of us. but I really don't think you did him a disservice here." Cafas shrugged. The future was uncertain, and maybe Calley wouldn't ever find someone else, but he really hoped the shifter did. He hoped he found the happiness Cafas hadn't been able to give him.

Not sure I have much else to say on that topic.

"And sure, I'll never be perfect. But maybe the role to model is striving to improve yourself for the people you love..." Brain to mouth filter has suffered a critical error.

> "...Those relationships were over, and maybe we were fools for clinging to them as long as we did. We did what was right for us..."

Maya knew she was a fool, but she would rather have hope in people than not. The fact that someone she'd loved had let her down so completely was perpetually devastating. Or, at least, it had been until she decided on a whim to go out and pretend she was a normal, every day successful and confident New York woman.

"I hope your PR guy doesn't lose his sugar when you call." But the idea was kinda funny. Surely if the man didn't enjoy a challenge he wouldn't have signed on with Cafas.

>"...maybe he'll never forgive either of us."

Yeah. Maybe. And it wasn't as if Calley and Maya had spoke much in the time since Rowan was born. Maybe because he'd been there for Rowan's birth. That was more of herself than she'd been meaning to share that day.

"I guess, I'm trying to say that I've made my mind up and I'm willing to make that trade." She nodded.

> "...maybe the role to model is striving to improve yourself for the people you love..."

"Definitely." Perpetually. Irrevocably. The "L" word wasn't so scary. Maya gave her heart far too freely. "I hope you consider yourself a member of that list." Maya had mom eyes in case he didn't. She'd noticed that Cafas had mentioned getting help for two once Rowan was officially added to the mix. The math didn't quite work out like she'd expected.

"Okay! Hope you're hungry!" The server came laden with a tray and backup to help get all the plates situated.

"I hope your PR guy doesn't lose his sugar when you call."

So did Cafas. It was likely to be tense at the very least. Alfie worked for his agent, his agent was partly commission based, he was getting bad publicity, therefore there were less offers coming in. Less offers meant less chances at jobs, meant less money for his agent. His agent would never take that out on Cafas, but she was more than happy to take it out on Alfie.

"I guess, I'm trying to say that I've made my mind up and I'm willing to make that trade."

Bit late if she wasn't, really. Cafas doubted Calley would forgive her just because it wound up being short term or something. Still, he was glad Maya was okay with the decision. Honestly, he was too, much as it felt odd to think. Everything just felt more easier with Maya. Even the tricky bits where he had no idea what the hell he was doing, or what he was meant to say. He knew he could fumble with Maya. Fumbles had been risky with Calley. "Me too." What else was there to say?

"Definitely. I hope you consider yourself a member of that list."

Well, that went better and worse than Cafas had thought. Maya was still there, and hadn't even gone awkward on him. That was miles above what he'd been expecting. On the other hand, there was the question of whether he loved himself. The mom eyes were out in full force, but no matter if she meant them too, they couldn't change reality.

"I hope you're hungry."

The waiters got to setting out the plates. Cafas smiled as if amused, though underneath he still hadn't left the conversation. "Nah, this is just a light snack." The waiters laughed, whether because they found him funny or just so the interaction went smoothly was hard for Cafas to tell.

"Alright, were you waiting on anything else?"

Cafas looked down at the array of food, carefully tetrised onto the table. Honestly it was almost worth connecting a second table just to space it out a bit. They were once good knock from losing something. Cafas' cheat day stomach couldn't imagine anything better than that."Not that I can tell." His friendly smile seemed stuck in place, as did their server's.

"Okay. Enjoy!"

The server left and Cafas smile dropped the friendly veneer back down to a faint, apologetic core as he turned back to Maya. His eyes slid right off hers as the mom glare cut into him, what was left of his smile running away from his face. He hadn't planned to lie to her about it, he certainly wasn't going to after the mom eyes hit him. "The list of people that I love? No, I'm not on it. Every night is just another reminder why."

How could I, I know what I've done.

His eyes came back up to meet Maya's, braving the mom glare. "You're on it though, and you remind me why every minute." There, that was far closer to how he'd wanted that particular fact to come out. Maybe still too soon, but he was past caring.

Stupid brain mouth filter errors.

She maintained eye contact even when Cafas did not. The servers moved around the table and Cafas interacted with them while Maya watched the pink-haired man and thought.

Was it possible? How could he not see what she saw? What Calley had seen? Even the iceberg tip that thousands upon thousands of adoring fans saw was enough to win them over.

She was both pleased to find herself on his list and incredibly disappointed when Cafas didn't make the cut. A small wrinkle formed between her eyebrows. It hurt to have her suspicions confirmed.

"You've said it plenty of times that you trust me." She picked up her spoon and toyed at bit at her meal, more stirring than actual eating. "I mean, I'm only trying the best with what I have and what I feel. So. Uhm. Can I tell you why you're on my list so that maybe we can revise yours to match?"

While she was brave enough to say it, she felt shy enough to address her beans instead of look him in the eyes. It didn't mean she meant it any less. It just meant that while her heart was open, if she saw even one reaction she was probably going to be unable to continue to plow forward. Something had to be said.

"I— you see me and I'm a person to you. Not a problem or something to solve. You just let me in. It means a whole lot that you are real and silly even when you know a lot of people are looking. I'm so easily talked around, but you've got strength of character. But then, somehow, you've still maintained an innocent heart.

"I don't love the choices you've made, but I see you making new choices. Good choices. Every day you've got impossible choices to make good on. And I'm coming from a place where I know what it's like to have to make the best of several cruddy options. And you're not one of them. So if you think," She set her spoon down, "for one second," and it wasn't the beans she was talking to now. Maya raised her eyes and gave it every ounce of confidence she had left, "that my opinion matters, know that it destroys me to hear that you don't see the things I see."

She wasn't expecting to change his mind with once speech, one day. But maybe if she started telling him now and let him see her believe it every day, maybe then he could see it. But right here? Line in the sand. Maya planted her flag.

Cafas' gaze fell as Maya spoke. She was really pulling a trump card, asking him to trust her opinion of him. It made him realise that he hadn't be, which made him feel a little guilty. He listened, he took it in, and he looked back up just in time to make eye contact.

"know that it destroys me to hear that you don't see the things I see."

The metal manipulator had no idea what to say. He didn't want to hurt her, but he couldn't just magic away the guilt. He didn't know if he would ever be rid of it. He did at least give Maya the courtesy or trying to believe what she said. He certainly believed she thought that of him, and he could see the evidence, but he didn't see how it could ever overcome his guilt.

"I'll add trying to love myself to the to do list." If Maya wasn't careful she may genuinely succeed at making a better person out of Cafas. He couldn't bear to disappoint her. He was certain he eventually would though, and that thought hurt. "How did we end up having a serious conversation at an amusement park?" Cafas shook his head and laughed. He was not about to let the night be a sad one.

It was also hard to be sad at a meal on cheat day. He offered Maya a warm smile before they strayed too far from the topic, "I trust you. I love you. I am going to try my best for you, for Rowan, and yes, for me too. First thing on the agenda for myself, try very hard to eat as much of this as humanly possible." Cheat day eating out was always tricky to judge portion size, and how many portions you could fit in and allow room for not hurling on a ride (and fair food, because damned if he wasn't getting a corn dog).

As it turned out, the answer was all of it. Well, perhaps he'd need a short break before rides, but still, he had even impressed himself. Maintaining a civil pace had been the most difficult part, but he'd managed that too, because he very much wanted to continue dating Maya.

She hadn't meant to give him more things to worry about, but at least he took her seriously.

> "I trust you. I love you."

Her eyebrows un-knit and Maya sat back. Again, Maya felt a rush of exhilaration in her chest, too high up to be a roller coaster stomach drop. She felt that he meant it. His actions backed up those words. Still, it made her all warm and fuzzy to hear it.

He meant that. "I'm emotionally invested in you too." Maya wrinkled her nose at Cafas, mischief in her eyes. "You know. In a love kind of way."

"無理だね." She countered his boast about the plates on their table. The surface was full to brimming. "There's no way you can eat all this." That was her tease and prediction. And she felt pretty confident in that prediction.

Until Cafas proved her wrong.

He let her trade a slice of quesadilla for a bite of this and that, so technically she helped a bit. Still, the stacks of empty plates were impressive. In fact, Cafas was finished eating before she was.

Maya ran her finger along the edge of her guacamole dish to get the last little bit of green goodness. She'd forgotten how good guacamole was. "Okay, so maybe we fast rides should be off the table for a bit." Her skirt was feeling decidedly tight. She was pleasantly overfull after getting caught up in the conversation and the company. "I think I saw games. Beanbags and stuff. I also think there's a train. Rowan would love that." Next time they should bring him, when it wasn't so chilly.

Polishing off her water, Maya eased to her feet. "Potty break?" She smiled and then retreated toward the women's sign.