"Is it offensive to ask to take a picture with a mutant?"

"I'd prefer people ask before hand than anything else. I'm sure most visible mutants are well aware of what they look like. They would know they're interesting to see. So how offensive it is, is really up to the mutants' comfort. So at the very least it's more respectful to ask and if they say no, you have to listen." There were plenty of times where he'd be enjoying a normal walk and some tourist would snap a picture, blatantly of him without so much as a hello. He could forgive kids and some young teens, but it was mostly full grown adults. Which was impossibly annoying.

"The world is sized for regular humans, how do you deal with going through doorways and sitting in movie theaters?"

"Duck my head and sit at the top row isle. Though there are some theaters that have really big comfy seats and those are really nice. Everything else is pretty much I'm either excluded or I have to find a work around. Sit on the floor, take the bench seat, novelty giant pens, so on and so forth." At this point he was used to it. He just had to work a little harder to get what he wanted.

"If you could stop being a mutant, would you?"

"Yes, as wonderful as the mutant community is, for someone like me the world is a tough place. People are always looking to get me fired from my job, people always stare like I'm a circus elephant, I'm always worried I'm going to hurt someone on accident, some places even refuse to let me inside. It's tiring, exhausting to live like this. If I could return to normal, even for just a little bit, I would." Part of him hated to say it, that he shouldn't be giving up so easily. But if he could return to being normal just for a day or so he'd be so happy.

The picture question obviously hit on a sore spot. It wasn't that Victor reacted to it in any huge way; more like he backtracked just a little on his way to becoming a fully relaxed orange blob on the sand. It wasn't hard to imagine why. Jiri remembered the look on the guy's face when he'd been caught staring. A picture was like a stare that could be shared on Snap Chat with all the sharer's friends.

Jiri felt like maybe he should take Victor out the back way, when he left. He was belatedly remembering his visit to the Audubon X society meeting, and the very real possibility that there was a 'bird watcher' lurking somewhere across the street, waiting for a photo op.

Yeah. He could relate to the photo thing, and the not-being-strictly-comfortable-with-it. And he wasn't even what they called a 'special bird.' Unlike Victor.

"Are there any times when being a mutant comes in handy?"

"If I say 'catch' and throw a ball what are the odds you'll actually catch it?" Jiri's tone was puzzled as he read that one, right up until the tail end. Oh. Because one eye, and depth perception. Right.

"If it was the apocalypse and the world was ending what three mutant powers would you want on your side?"

Victor took a breath and relaxed, soaked in some more of the heat. This was supposed to be fun right. What happened to the silly questions? He'd like those back, no matter how immature they were at least he could answer those without getting upset. He wondered if his siblings and cousins were watching. He knew his uncle was, didn't know if the man could actually participate or not.

"Are there any times when being a mutant comes in handy?"

"Heh, sometimes. Opening jars and moving furniture has never been easier. Plus I can make fire for some old fashion smores." The first few weeks moved in, they ended up making a fire pit in the backyard and roasted marshmallows. The kids asked to do it all the time, which was always fun.

"If I say 'catch' and throw a ball what are the odds you'll actually catch it?"

"I'd say one out of four." He held up his hands again and grinned. He may not be able to percept depth very well but could still catch with varying degrees of success.

"If it was the apocalypse and the world was ending what three mutant powers would you want on your side?"

"Precognition, time manipulation, and outcome manipulation is the smart answer. But, the fun answer would be fire, water, and plant elemental abilities. So make it so the apocalypse never happens or survive it." Now that was was a question he could get behind, something fun to think about.

Jiri was starting to understand why those lizards at the pet store liked their heat lamps. This sun was nice, even if it was fake. His body didn't care, couldn't tell the difference--he was slowly becoming one with his chair, just like Victor was. When winter came, he was totally using this room. Maybe even this simulation.

He was trying to mix up the serious questions with the fluff. Victor was just a guy: he wasn't a spokesman for mutant affairs, like the Mansion staff was. He wasn't a business tycoon getting PR. Ergo, he didn't need to get hit with the really heavy stuff. But at the same time, just fluff was too... fluffy. So yeah. Jiri mixed up the questions he was reading, and wondered just how far off he was from what real reporters did.

For one thing, he wasn't writing any of his own material. 

Also, and just for the record: that answer about apocalypse powers was legit.

"Have you ever considered being in a movie?"

"What did you think about mutants before you were a mutant?"

"Do you still have a belly button and can we see it (take off your shirt)." He made sure to gesture, so Victor got the benefit of air parentheses around that last bit, ,just as its author had intended. Oh Internet, thou art subtle and mysterious in thine art.

"Have you ever considered being in a movie?"

He rested his chin on one of his hands, thinking on it. "Not exactly. I'm not the best at acting but that doesn't mean I haven't been approached with the idea to be a movie monster before. However playing a monster, when being the real thing, just doesn't seem right. You know what I mean. I don't want to end up being someone's nightmare."

"What did you think about mutants before you were a mutant?"

"I really didn't think about it at all. It was just some far off thing that I didn't even consider. And if any of my classmates happened to be mutant...Well it wasn't my problem to deal with." He smooth a hand over his head with a sigh, "Which is awful now that I think about it. I should have been more aware of what was going on around me."

"Do you still have a belly button and can we see it (take off your shirt)."

He let steam puff out of his mouth. Hurray for silly questions. "Alright, alright, if you all would think it's so interesting." He stood and pulled his shirt over his head careful so his horns didn't catch on the fabric. He was pretty muscular, given his work moving crates and the like. Plus, he didn't really have a belly button any more. It had shrunk to almost a pin prick.

The being someone's nightmare thing sent a little chill up Jiri's spine. He shifted in his chair, sitting up a little straighter where he'd been unconsciously slouching down under the weight of the sun. Being someone's nightmare, huh? For the first time, he was a little envious of the giant mutant. When people asked, Victor could say 'no.'

No one had asked Jiri. Every time he closed his eyes, he risked being someone's worst dream. If they were lucky, it would be at night, while both of them were asleep.

...He was getting way too comfortable in this chair, wasn't he? Yeah. Way too comfortable. The teenager abruptly stood up, stretching a little where he stood. He kept reading questions, from his safer-for-everyone-present position.

Victor's answer to what did you think before you were a mutant was one he could sympathize with, as well. 

And finally, the internet succeeded in its eternal mission: getting men to strip. At this rate, Jiri might as well put out one of those mutant-themed calendars. X-Bachelors. He smirked, mostly to himself, and shook his head at Victor's attempts to please the internet. He thought they'd be happy with just that? Jiri read the question which had just skyrocketed to the top of the list:

"Do you think clothing ill fit for mutantkind is an imposition by our human overlords as a visible symbol of our slavery TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS."

Yep. The Internet.

"How many limbs do you have if you know what I mean?"

Yeeeep.

"If your evil twin stepped out of a mirror and challenged you to a fight to the death how would you beat him?"

"Do you think clothing ill fit for mutantkind is an imposition by our human overlords as a visible symbol of our slavery TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS."

He huffed out more steam, not impressed by the attempt to get him naked. "I'm not taking off my pants. I've got family watching and this is as far as I'll budge."he stated, crossing his arms over his chest. Well the top set anyway, the bottom set he rested on the table. Hopefully with the mention of family the internet might calm down with the attempts to strip him.

"How many limbs do you have if you know what I mean?"

Yup the maturity level did not jump up one bit. "Including my tail, seven and no I will not include my junk."he grumbled, unaware of just how much steam he was producing. Annoyance tended to do that to him, though thankfully it was pretty harmless steam. So no health concerns there.

"If your evil twin stepped out of a mirror and challenged you to a fight to the death how would you beat him?"

Now that was a question he could get behind. "So my doppelganger? If he has all the same strength as me, then he'd have all the weakness too. Exploit that and I think I could beat an evil version of myself." Though his evil twin would probably have the same idea now that he thought about it. But that was a lot of ifs for something that was unlikely to happen.

Okay okay, no more immature questions. At least, not in that vein. Even though there were so, so many left. That well never ran dry on the internet. Jiri wondered if the man knew how steamed up he was getting.

...Even in his own head, that pun was terrible. Seriously though, people were practically chanting I'm a Little Teapot.

Also, the guy's answer about fighting his evil twin? Total cop out. Obviously an evil twin would know your weaknesses, so they'd be thinking exactly the same thing. That's why you had to think different, but then the evil twin would as well, so you had to get really creative.

Personally, now that he'd met Mirror? If Jiri saw his evil twin trying to hop out of a piece of glass, he'd try and smash it before the thing could get out.

Okay. No more lewd questions, no more lewd questions... he was having to scroll down pretty far here... There we go.

"You wake up in the body of the United States president. What do you do?" Finally, a question Jiri could relate to.

"Tell us something we don't know. Remember that we're the internet and we know everything."

"If you could have had any super power, what would you have chosen?"

Cop out or not, it was too late to withdraw his answers now. They were clearly moving on to better questions than the ones previously asked.

"You wake up in the body of the United States president. What do you do?"

"Is fire everyone and start the government over an option? Because I would love to do that. Right now I don't think I would work with anyone in government very well." To him, being both a very visible mutant and a man of color, the government was not exactly his friend. To most politician, despite never having broken a law, he was the type of man who was a problem for the country. A leech on society as he heard one say. He was certain if they could just change out everyone and start over things would be a lot better.

"Tell us something we don't know. Remember that we're the internet and we know everything."

"If you know everything then why are you asking?"he chuckled, "Alright, something I haven't told you...Um, I can't really swim any more. Before the mutation happened I was a pretty good swimmer and now I'm not." He learned that lesson real quick in California and he would not be testing his luck any time soon.

"If you could have had any super power, what would you have chosen?"

"Hmm, some sort of psychic ability maybe. Telekinetic or the ability to read minds. Or flight. Flight would be cool to have." Better than being a giant fire lizard he was sure.

Jiri laughed out loud. It was the kind of thing he couldn't help, when fire everyone was what Mr. President here would do. That was fantastic. Or, as one of the chatters immediately put it: if he runs on that platform he'll get at least as many votes as Trump.

Personally, Jiri would have called a press conference and started telling bad jokes, or began playing juvenile pranks on the staffers and seen how long it took them to call the president on them. Victor was arguably the more politically minded of the two of them.

To the swim question: Jiri wondered if the Danger Room had a setting for the Dead Sea. That was the one filled with really dense salt water, right? Everything was supposed to float in that, so maybe Victor would to.

Pfffft. The sound left Jiri's mouth at the mention of choosing a psychic ability. Not all it was cracked up to be. Seriously. And flight? What kind of lame, everyman answer was that? Jiri would have picked... umm... maybe... no, that was lame, and would probably backfire anyway--

Jiri would have taken his time and considered the issue carefully before picking. Because quick answers like "body snatcher" and "dragon" were trouble. Maybe their their x-genes had taken more time than Victor to decide, they wouldn't be in this mess in the first place.

"Has anyone ever tried to pick a fight with you and what did you do?"

"Do you go to the dentist with that maw? How does that even work?"

"Did you diet change when your body did or can you still eat all regular foods?"

"Has anyone ever tried to pick a fight with you and what did you do?"

He grinned at that, full rows of sharp crocodile teeth. "Oh yeah, in high school, probably thought it'd be funny because before I wouldn't fight back. I was a good deal less restrained back then. They were lucky had friends to calm me down before things got too serious." Bullies will be bullies no matter the size of their targets. But that day they learned that poking an docile elephant didn't mean you wouldn't get crushed.

"Do you go to the dentist with that maw? How does that even work?"

The orange mutant shook his head, "Nah, I don't know what they would think of a mouth like mine. But so far brushing and flossing has been doing just fine. Though I read in some articles that animals with teeth like mine need to grind their teeth on harder stuff to keep them clean and from over growing. I haven't tried it yet though." He hadn't really thought of his teeth beyond the obvious dietary change they brought.

Speaking of which...

"Did you diet change when your body did or can you still eat all regular foods?"

"Yeah it changed." He sighed, closing his eye wistfully, "Can't have most dairy things or fruits or vegetables. Some carbs and starches I can eat, like potatoes, rice, and pasta. But I'm mostly carnivore now. Learned all that the hard way...Man I miss ice cream, but if I have it now I know I'll get sick later." He knew it was hard on his family too, his portions of meat were bigger and eating it everyday was kind of expensive.

Jiri was glad that grin was directed at the webcam, not at him. Note to self: never pick a fight with someone three feet taller than him, anyone with three or more limbs than him, anyone who weighed the same as three of him, and definitely not with someone who was All Of The Above. How stupid had those guys been?

The answer to the teeth question was a little unsettling, and he couldn't say quite way. Maybe the mental image of Victor sitting there, grinding down his teeth. Maybe for how very far from the realm of human experience it was to even have to worry about that. Dunno. The meat thing wasn't that strange in comparison--somewhere in the back of his head, his instincts had already given Victor the once over and pegged him with the label Carnivore. They'd probably done it when he'd first met the guy, earlier in the week. That had probably been about the time his fight-or-flight responses had been dumping adrenaline into his system.

Somewhere along the line he'd just gotten used to the idea without even realizing it, like you got used to a dog killing rabbits in the back yard. Just because something was a predator didn't mean it was hunting you.

Speaking of. It was about time to toss in a few more serious-y questions.

"Do you ever feel like you should be out hunting something? Did you get any new instincts when you changed?"

"Do you think humans and mutants are the same species? Do you still consider yourself human?"

"What do you think the future of human/mutant relations will look like?"

"Do you ever feel like you should be out hunting something? Did you get any new instincts when you changed?"

"I don't know about hunting, but uh..." He scratched back of his neck, searching for the right words, "I guess you could say that I feel more mother hen-ish. Like I need to take care of people around me, especially those younger than me. But it could also be age and being one of the oldest children in my family including of my cousins." He didn't bother to mention that kids drew his attention, that he'd watch them just in case anything happened, even if it wasn't likely. He didn't want to come off as creepy. A grown man attracted to childcare usually has people thinking something perverted is up.

"Do you think humans and mutants are the same species? Do you still consider yourself human?"

"I want to consider myself human, that my body and ability doesn't affect me. But at the same time..." Victor looked down at his own hands, "It's hard to ignore the changes that separate me from everyone else. Still, I've watched some talks discussing the matter and what happened to me is more like a metamorphosis rather than an evolution."

"What do you think the future of human/mutant relations will look like?"

"I'm cautiously optimistic. A talk like this has got to be a good sign right. Even if it did get a little immature, it shows people aren't scared. Cautiously curious more like. Still, with all the events going on in the news, I can't help but feel we'll hit a rough patch soon. I'm just hoping we don't do a repeat of the camps. I didn't face them myself but I've heard plenty." Nobody wanted a return of the camps, he's read enough article to fuel his nightmares for a life time. Even supposedly normal mutants got it bad. A mutant like him...he'd shudder to think what would happen.

The mother hen response was probably the lat thing the internet expected from the giant toothy fire lizard. It was the last thing Jiri had expected, for sure. But looking back on how he'd acted with his cousins in tow... yeah, Jiri could see it.

He wanted to deny the truth in the older mutant's words about what the future might hold, but it was hard to. This deal with his roommate, the upcoming trial that had started this whole AMA thing going--that was a sign of something. Jiri had the uneasy feeling that if a human had killed a mutant in self defense like this, there wouldn't be a trial. Hell, if a human had killed a human in self defense, with that many witnesses and cameras around...

For some reason the justice system thought Alex's case was an issue, and there was something deeply unsettling in that.

He cleared his throat, and dug himself out from under those thoughts.

"Thank you for doing this, Victor. It's probably about time we wrap up," because it was getting way too hard to find real questions in the horrible 'you're so hot' puns. "Are there any last words you'd like to tell the Internet?" Or tell the Internet off. Whichever the man preferred.

"Thank you for doing this, Victor. It's probably about time we wrap up."

He hadn't expect this to end early. Though Jiri hadn't told him how long this would be going on and he honestly had no sense of time in this holodeck. It could have been a few hours for all he'd known. Jiri had probably been watching the clock as things began to wind down.

All in all it had been an interesting experience, if a bit frustrating at time for him. There were more questions about his body than there had been on his thoughts. But he supposed that was to be expected. After all, he doubted physical mutants came forward with their stories all that often. Probably the first one he saw was Ambrose and that man was just bursting with smug charm. Something very unlike a lot of physical mutants.

"Are there any last words you'd like to tell the Internet?"

"Hmm," The hum rumbled in the back of his throat has he thought on it, "Well, a few things. Be good to those around you, respect visible mutants and if you really want a picture ask first, oh and uh," He coughed, clearing his throat for his last thoughts, "Stop telling strangers on the internet to take off their clothes!" He huffed, steam puffing from his mouth in obvious frustration.

A little teapot indeed...