”I don’t want to sound biased, but if you’re unhappy… you don’t have to be.”

”You deserve to be happy too.”

Did he? He certainly didn't think so. He had no idea how he was meant to come by it either. Calley was distant, the X-men weren't exactly helpful, money hadn't fixed much of anything. Well, he now had an apartment to be alone in...

"Maybe I do, but I don't know how to achieve it."

The crux of the matter, he felt, lay with his somewhat fragile mental state. Years of violence had done more than a little damage. He felt like he'd left a part of his soul with every life he'd taken. A lot of them kept him up some nights. he needed the sort of healing Doc Prof couldn't offer.

Know someone that might be able to...

"I'm open to suggestions though. So long as it doesn't involve hurting someone, I'll give it a go." He'd do a lot not to find himself passed out on a bar, miserable in yet another city. If he was going to pass out on a bar, he wanted it to be a joyful celebration.

He didn't know when, hell he hardly noticed, but he was holding Maya tighter. Maybe she needed it.

Cafas certainly did.

She found a muddled smile. "Well, there are 8 metrics that can contribute to overall happiness." Could he tell that she'd read a paper? Because she'd totally read a study on this recently. "Health, education, time value... okay. So maybe I've been looking into it a bit." This was not a conversation that felt most impactful to have with his shirt, but if she sat up she would be shifting the dynamic. She rather liked where she was right now, as selfish as that was.

"The point is, you can identify what sucks and make it... not." Maya, the great motivational speaker of our age.

"Social fulfillment, love... it's on the list." And now she was glad she hadn't sat back and looked him in the eye. Was she really questioning his relationship here? Now?

And wasn't that what he'd wanted to avoid doing? Hurting Calley? "Don't forget you're important too. What about you getting hurt? Or being hurt?" She pursed her lips and frowned at his shirt, entirely serious now. Cafas was at a place where Maya was some years ago. If she'd bailed on the idea of Sebastian a long time ago, could she have had time for happiness now?

"Don't forget you're important too. What about you getting hurt? Or being hurt?"

"Yeah that happens more than I care to admit. Calley was... Well it was difficult. I'd just give up on it and he'd come back and do something to make me question it all over again. Seems a waste after all that, but I'll admit we're rocky. Both of us have changed." Cafas sighed. He had been ignoring the nagging sensation in his mind for months. Years maybe. He still loved Calley. He'd still kill for him, die for him. He'd defend that stupid shifter with an untold fury that the greatest storm would never match.

Were they a functional couple though?

He'd have to spend more time with him to know, but neither of them seemed to be able to beg, borrow or steal a simultaneous day off.

"The X-men... Well you know as well as I do that getting hurt is part of the job. Does it make me happy? No, but I'd rather die than see any of you guys hurt. Plus I'm pretty sure that's the only way to leave." It certainly seemed heavily implied. Treason could get you expelled, sure, but stepping down? No cases of that working long term sprang to mind.

Plus what else would I do?

"Acting, well actual filming is pretty fun, the money's pretty sweet. Then there's the other 90 percent. We've seen the culmination of that tonight. Honestly I'm a mess. Emotions everywhere, jet lagged so far I'm not sure my timezone is still on this planet. Trying to drink myself into oblivion."

Sad to say it wouldn't have been the first time that week.

"Then you showed up. It was fun, the dancing, the flirting, catching up. I smiled for the first time in so long... God that fight was ridiculous, you nearly had me with the tickling. Then I kissed you and kind of ruined it." He shook his head and tried not to remember it too vividly.

"Thing is, despite everything, I'd kiss you again in a heartbeat but for Calley."

Okay, see, now there's honesty, then there's that. Sure, honesty might work out, but that's at risk of hurting all involved. One day, just one, think before you open that mouth of yours.

"So, summary of that, love, given: yes, received: who knows? Health: A week uninjured is a miracle sometimes. Education: I'm okay with it. Time Value: I spent the last few months doing something that I hope I'll never do again. What are the others, so far I'm at one of four." He sighed again, his arms tightened just a little more.

”Sometimes people grow apart. It doesn’t necessarily mean you love him any less. Just… remember that it took choices to get these results. He’s choosing what’s important to him just like you’re choosing what’s important to you.” And just because Cafas’ priorities included Calley, didn’t mean that the reverse was true. Maya didn’t like to think that way about Calley, her friend, but she also hadn’t wanted that to be true of her husband.

”I don’t know which is worse, the slow bleed relationship or waking up one day and realizing you don’t know the other guy at all.” It wasn’t that simple of course, but the man she thought she was sharing a life with was definitely gone, replaced by a terrorist. A cheating terrorist, no less.

The X-men… well, she didn’t know what to say about that one either. ”We could go make sure no banks are getting robbed if that would make you feel better about it. Help an old lady across the street?” Because old ladies would be out at this time of night. Right. Still, the idea was solid. Do something good. Something that no one could paint gray. They really needed a W in more columns.

She opened her mouth to suggest that maybe he should just do acting then, but… well, that didn’t sound like the answer either.

”I don’t like you drinking.” And she didn’t have any right to have her opinion matter so she left it at that. Couldn’t they just be happy?

> “..God that fight was ridiculous...”

”I particularly enjoyed the part with the ambush from the bubbly depths.” Now she was smiling too… until he thought he’d ruined it.

”Damnit.” The word felt foreign on her lips, but it felt appropriate. Maya did sit up then. She took Cafas’ face between her two hands and looked him right in the eye. ”I release you from any guilt, onus, or other silly compunctions you have in your head.”

> "Thing is, despite everything, I'd kiss you again in a heartbeat but for Calley."

She froze. Did she dare? He’d moved on, but Maya felt like she was stuck there at that thought.

Maya cut off his words, so many words, by covering his lips with hers.

”There.” She peppered kisses between each word. ”Now I ruined everything.”

”There. Now I ruined everything.”

He really should have put up more of a fight. To protect his nose, or his already shattered pride. To protect Maya? Did she need it?

Instead of fighting however, he reciprocated. Impulse and snap decisions had less to do with it now. This was a conscious decision. He knew what he was doing. Guilt was a different day's problem, she'd at least talked him around to that. This made him happy, at least in the moment.

That's what she'd said, right? At least somewhat.

It almost hurt as she pulled away. It felt kind of final.

"Don't stop."

He heard it. It sounded just like him. That last remnant of an Australian accent. The desire and pain. The near whisper.

He'd felt the words leave his mouth, eyes closed, the ache in his face and body forgotten. Her lips had barely pulled away as the words came out.

His arms were around her waist, a quiet desire in the way he brushed her skin beneath her shirt. He could feel the tension in every fibre of his being. His eyes opened gently to find hers, to search in what felt a vain hope for any reciprocation.

She'd cracked the last of his willpower. He had nothing left to fight with.

She was just so sick of seeing herself in him. If this was something she could fix, something she could stop, well… she had gotten up the courage to try it. Two lonely birds and one stone, right?

And it had taken all her courage to act on that impulse. She’d half expected him to dump her off his lap and back onto the concrete. He had every right to. She’d interrupted him and been rude and was trying to take his burden from him by force.

And by some miracle, he let her.

> "Don't stop."

His words sent a thrill up her spine. If only they could just live one moment to the next like this. No guilt. Just the here and now.

It was all the invitation she needed.

Maya took his cheeks in her hands again, thumbnails running against the grain of his scruff. She moved slowly and deliberately. She tried to tell him with her lips what tonight had meant to her. And that he shouldn’t spend his nights at the bottom of a bottle.

And with her hesitations she tried to tell him that she wasn’t sure. She hadn’t been the one to take charge like this in romance. Before, she'd really just been a victim of it.

It was a thrill. She was scared out of her head and trying so, so hard to be gentle when that was anything but what she felt.

The faint thump of music could still be heard, the off key singing of jubilant drunken twenty somethings carried down the street. Cars honked in frustration, sirens carried through the artificial canyons, blocks from their origin. A rat scurried down a drain, a man was mugged, left beaten and bloody in an alley. New York City stops for no-one. Cares for no-one.

Yet in its heart, in the frigid air, soaked to the bone in soapy water and their own tears, two super heroes, though they'd never have called themselves that, found solace in each other. Hard people with hard lives, wrapped in a passionate embrace, daring to believe they could have just one damnable night without the pain.

~~

It was Cafas who pulled away first, though he didn't intend it to be permanent. A shiver was building in him, his wet, bloody clothes freezing to the touch. He smiled breathlessly at Maya, hands still pulling her tightly against him. "Aren't you freezing? We've got to get somewhere warmer." He had no idea where. He lent down and kissed her neck softly, hoping she had somewhere that sprang to mind.

Home's not really an option is it...

He never noticed the small plastic package slip from his pocket, dark contents hidden on dark ground, its small weight rendered insignificant in those moments. Perhaps later it would register, perhaps later he might look for it. He'd never find it, and never know if it rang that night.

Her body was shivering and she hadn't even noticed. "I don't have the sensitivity I used to." The words, in the context of Cafas nibbling at her neck, brought a fresh flush of warmth to her skin.

They should go inside somewhere.

"You're right, though." She gently kissed his forehead as she readied her power. "I can takes us..." where? The iris apartments were shut down. That meant no power, no heat. The Full Circle, was under new management while they went through their 3rd party investigation. That meant the lights were on, but she really shouldn't go there... She could sneak them into a hotel. Heck. She could sneak them into anything so long as it wasn't air tight.

She got a sudden, wild hair. There was one place she knew that always kept the lights on. She didn't have a lot of experience there, but they had individual accommodations and, honestly, it was the best idea she'd had yet since the people that stayed there didn't give a flying flip about morality.

"Don't let go. No matter what, okay?" She pulled his lips to hers and inhaled suddenly. Ghost went incorporeal. The difference between this time and last? She tried to extend her power into Cafas. Every point of contact between them went insubstantial. His hands and face. His lap, where moments before Maya had sat. She kissed him deeply and pushed her power against whatever force kept his body together until they were both nothing at all.

She could feel him where they touched, but nothing else. No more cold. No more concrete. No more lack of shoes and wet clothes. The way they perceived the world changed too: a swirl of negatives and constant motion. This was Ghost's domain.

The air elemental summoned a wind to ferry them along. They were starting in Manhattan so they had a little bit of water to cross, but they didn't have to follow roads anymore. It didn't take too long to get there. And no one even batted an eye that a passing cloud deigned to slip in through those golden doors.

A room, a room. Any room would do at this point. Maya tried not to think about it too much. She just picked one at random and slipped them underneath the door.

Occupied.

Maya zoomed them up into the ventilation system and zipped around until she found a room that had stale air. It hadn't been opened in a while. Perfect.

"Trust me?" Maya started to untangle herself from Cafas. If he could figure out how the spatial vision worked, he would know there was a bed below and she was ready to drop him a measly few inches onto the spread.

"I don't have the sensitivity I used to."

"You're right, though."

"I can takes us..."

Cafas paused for a moment, wondering if she'd come up as blank as he had. The excited tension in her body suggested she'd had an idea.

"Don't let go. No matter what, okay?"

I had no intention...

Cafas had a feeling he'd been here before. Less kissing. Man, Maya had been an authority figure to him then. Time and experience change a lot. For one thing, the last time hadn't robbed Cafas of the ability to think with a kiss. Taken his breath away, so to speak.

His senses warped. He'd been here before but so long ago. He had no idea what his brain was telling him. He wasn't sure it did. He could tell they were moving, but he knew about that ahead of time. A confusing swirl of senses that lasted minutes. He didn't mind.

Eventually they came to a stop, Cafas didn't know quite what to expect.

"Trust me?"

"With my life." He had to, and had for years. He fell into a dark room, warm enough. A light creak, a bounce. He was on a bed. Well, that certainly sent a message. "So, where are we, and more importantly, where are you?"

It was like a reverse Aladdin. He trusted her and she dropped him.

> "So, where are we, and more importantly, where are you?"

"Uhm." Suddenly her brilliant idea was seeming a bit too crazy. "It should be safe." She hedged as she slowly let her body condense and reform. Her dirty toes touched down onto industrial carpet. Not too comfortable, but it was better than outside.

"The air tasted stale. I don't think anyone's claimed this Sanctuary room for a while."

She smoothed down her shirt and skirt, suddenly nervous. She hadn't thought ahead this far. "Maybe... wash the soap off?" There should be a sink at least in the bathroom. Maya dashed to the restroom and didn't bother with the lights. She didn't want to see the mirror... Instead she opted to fiddle with the knobs until warm water splashed into the basin.

"The air tasted stale. I don't think anyone's claimed this Sanctuary room for a while."

Hope she's right...

One down, one to go. He had to admire her nerve. He doubted either of them were particularly welcome in the Sanctuary. It was kind of a hot bed for the criminally insane. Vigilantes had few friends among their number. In fairness, not all of them had seen Cafas without a mask.

"Maybe... wash the soap off?"

That sounded nervous. Not that he could blame her, he wasn't exactly the picture of calm. The flight over had given him just enough time to start thinking again. It was all moving very fast, he had been drinking, they were both emotionally fragile.

Happy to accept that on my part.

The running water was just enough sound to navigate by. Cafas got to his feet. He'd need to lose the shoes at some point, they were saturated. He moved, using the minimal light to avoid hitting anything, until he found Maya. He put a gentle hand on her shoulder, partly as a point of reference for where she was.

"Hey, you know if this is too much that's fine. I'll take the floor if you want. Just sleep?" He wasn't quite sure where their dynamic was now. This was the first time he'd been in a position like that. In the past it had all kind of just been a blur of passion and fun... Pre Calley.

Never been cheating on your boyfriend with your mutual friend still recovering from her husband leaving her? Yeah I'd hope this was new...

"I know." She conceded his point. "I wouldn't..." Let him take advantage of her? Heh. It was more like she was taking advantage of him now, wasn't it? "I didn't think about it being a room, room y'know?' With a big ol' bed in it? Yeah. Totally didn't think about that part.

"It's just out of the way and warm and—" full of other people who were doing bad things "—seemed like a place where no one would think to check for us." She shrugged her shoulder under Cafas. His one hand encompassed nearly the whole thing.

Meanwhile she'd scrubbed her hands and most of her arms. Maya grabbed a wash cloth and wet it down and grabbed the towel off the rack. The darkness wasn't a big deal to someone with a spatial sense.

"Do you need ice for your nose?" She guided Cafas back to the bed and sat him down. As if she would let him sleep on the floor. She wasn't ready for... passion... but she wasn't such a prude that they couldn't share. Besides. Who'd said they had to stay the night?

Maya pressed the warm cloth into Cafas' hands and went to free his feet from their squishy shoes.

"I know. I wouldn't... I didn't think about it being a room, room y'know?"

Cafas didn't, not really. Could he say that? Was that a thing to say right then? Maybe not. He just nodded. He didn't know if she could see it, him being behind her and all.

"It's just out of the way and warm and seemed like a place where no one would think to check for us."

That seemed reasonable at least. It was dry and warm to be sure, maybe not the most comfortable thing ever but still. Certainly no-one would look for two X-men at the Sanctuary. Really, they'd probably just follow the sirens. It's all Cafas ever needed to do. "Depends how long we're gone I suppose." He offered with a chuckle. Grim, perhaps, but ultimately true.

"Do you need ice for your nose?"

"If you can make it here in this room it would be lovely, thanks; If not, forget about it, I'll just reset it as best as possible."

He allowed himself to be guided back to bed. He accepted the cloth gratefully and did his best to clean his face up. He finished with his arms and hands, really wishing for a place to put the cloth. Ultimately he removed his shirt, wrapped it in that and lobbed them restroom-ward. If he weren't still soaking he'd have flopped down on his back at that moment.

Meanwhile Maya undid and removed his shoes, which was odd to say the least. He couldn't remember if that had ever happened to him before. He wasn't sure what to make of it.

"So I'm guessing this means I'm not on the floor?"

She was hardly going to just throw you on the floor straight away, that's be a bit harsh...

"No floor." She lobbed his shoes and the squishy socks bathroomward too. That was a good idea. Contain the mess. Maya wiped first his toes and then hers with the towel. Maybe she should have kept that for, y'know, upper body? But having cold feet always made things feel colder. For her, anyway.

Maybe there were dry clothes somewhere... but Cafas didn't want them leaving the room. THat was probably wise. "Do you think they'd really care? I just can't imagine they even know me here. It's been a couple years since I've kicked anybody's butt."

She tossed the towel away and heaved a sigh. "What are we doing?" Maya plopped down next to Cafas and continued the motion all the way back into a most dramatic full-body bed flop accompanied by a full body sigh.

"Do you think they'd really care? I just can't imagine they even know me here. It's been a couple years since I've kicked anybody's butt."

"More a matter of if. If they do, we're going to be in more trouble than we can easily get out of. Plus we're hardly the subtle undercover members of out team, between our hair, your complexion and my size." Cafas really didn't want to explain why he was at the Sanctuary. It seemed like a no win situation if it came to that. He was more than happy to go semi naked and swollen nose if it meant keeping them both safe.

Ish. Kinda in the lion's den here.

"What are we doing?"

That flop seemed to suggest that making the bed damp was not really a consideration now. Cafas followed suit. It felt good to lay down, especially after the cement. "Depending on your perspective it was adultery or living in the moment. Now? No idea, I know what I want, and I know what I should do." He trusted she could piece that one together for herself. Cafas stared off into space, reaching the slight distance to Maya's leg and brushing it with the back of his hand absently.

To think if I'd gone with Meld all those years ago, this might have been my room.

"Real question is, what are we going to do now..." He turned to look at her in the faint light.