The X-men's office was probably not the best place to change a diaper.

For one, there was a whole lot of stuff on the desk that needed to be clear before anything else. Second... it was the X-men's office. Even if Maya and Baby X were the only ones there.

"Seriously..." the young mirrorwalker muttered as she tried her best to breathe through her mouth. Baby X was a boy today, so far anyway. What was wrong with his gender-shifting? Maya vaguely remembered hers being regulated from the start. At least that was what Mom had always said. She never gave any pointers for changing diapers, though.

"We'll find mommy soon" she muttered, trying to work her way around tiny flailing arms and legs "She probably knows better."

Bruno leapt up and down in front of him as Sam tossed the tennis ball down the hallway towards his office. Things have been going pretty good for him, well as good as things could be. Sam had a lady friend and some of his team members had started to talk to him again and their initial fear from the whole Sam getting mind controlled thing seemed to dissipate. It helped that Slate had confirmed that there was no longer anyone else in Sam’s head and the daily training he had been receiving to prevent mental intrusions had been giving him a little more confidence.

Still there were some things he still couldn’t get around. Some of the other members of the team had been watching him like a hawk when he was at the mansion. Which was good, he actually was all right with that. The last thing he wanted was something to happen to make him go back to the whole ‘Let’s kidnap kids’ thing. Everyone still being paranoid of him just made the mansion feel less like home, which was why he hadn’t been around as much as he should have.

Bruno returned with the ball as Sam pulled it from his slobbering mouth and Sam threw it again wiping the slobber off on his pants as he entered his office. Most of his classes were still cancelled due to the lack of kids showing up and the few he had were once a week anyways so his mansion greeter duties seemed to be the bulk of his work. Something he hated. As soon as he stepped into the office he smelled something ungodly that almost made him vomit.

Covering his mouth Sam coughed and looked to his desk where Maya was changing a diaper… on his desk… a baby… he froze and debated turning around and exiting his own office. His greeter duties could wait. Sam didn’t know why a baby was there but it couldn’t have been good. Ever since Amanda had given him the ‘perfect’ world he still had the occasional dream/memory when Sammy showed up announcing that Sam was his father.

Almost out the door Bruno barged in and dropped the ball pushing Sam further into the room dropping the ball and letting out a low ‘woof’. Sam froze as some ice started to coat his arms and he looked from Maya to the baby to his desk. ”……… I think I have somewhere I need to be.” Sam said as he stepped back trying and failing as Bruno ran into the room and walking over to Maya and a new and interesting smell.

Oh joy.

Maya glanced up as the X-leader entered the office. She heard the woof first as Bruno burst in too, and was happy that Angua was off sniffing the Mansion grounds. Two dogs and a baby were probably more than an office could handle.

The baby alone seemed to be more than Sam could handle.

>>”……… I think I have somewhere I need to be.”

"Tell me about it" Maya smirked, then picked up the used diaper (neatly curled into a ball like Mama T showed her) and tossed it at Sam.

"Catch."

Dodging the thrown diaper Sam pointed and it froze over becoming a large ball one that no stink could escape. It bounced and rolled and Bruno shifted his head to it as it rolled just like his ball. Sam noticed his dog eyeing it and more ice formed around it turning it into a box. Bruno shifted his attention back to the baby on Sam’s desk and the dog let out a small woof. ”You’re cleaning that up…” Sam said as he figured he debated splitting the second Maya looked back to the baby, things were still somewhat off between them and the baby didn’t help any.

”So… the baby….” Sam said not sure what to call it other than ‘it’ or ‘baby’ he also wasn’t sure how to ask whose it was or why it was in his office. Ice continued to climb up his arms as he was literally freezing up. ”the baby…. That is… in my office… on my desk…” he recalled Sammy standing in front of the gate of the mansion with his backpack and a monkey tail swaying behind him.

”Does… it have a tail?” Sam managed to blurt out his heart starting to race as Bruno continued to walk around the desk trying to get a better look of the baby.

His head started to recount all the women he had been with in the last year, trying to recall if any of them wouldn’t have told him if he was a father a few questionable women came to mind. In fact a majority were questionable now that he thought about it. He didn’t really end on good terms with a majority of them.

>>”You’re cleaning that up…”

Maya hummed and nodded. There was not much to clean up - she had covered the desk with a towel before unwrapping Baby X. It was kind of like any other skills training: learn how it's done, and follow the rules.

>>”So… the baby… Does… it have a tail?”

"Not the last time I checked" Maya said, wondering why Sam would ask that question specifically. Glancing up, she noticed that he was icing up. Go figure, the fearless X-leader had no clue what to do with babies either.

"It's a gender shifter though." she supplied, leaving it at that. Because mutant baby in the office made slightly more sense than random baby in the office... right?

The ice stopped covering his body when she said there wasn’t a tail, as if that was his cue to relax. However Sam didn’t as he continued to stare at the baby on his desk he took another step forward when she mentioned the baby was a gender shifter. Sam blinked and let out a sigh of relief as he took another few steps closer. ”so…. It isn’t mine?” Sam asked almost choking on his words hoping Maya’s ability didn’t somehow get transferred to one of his off spring. The thought made ice cover a portion of his face as he thought about anything involving offspring.

Sam stepped closer to Maya and the baby on his desk and the baby looked up and was kicking his feet around and waving his hands as Bruno continued to circle getting more and more excited when the baby made any noise.

Sam looked to the baby then Maya and blinked. He recalled his ‘daughter’ had his mutation as well all his memories of her rushed past thoughts as he told himself they weren’t real. Here and now was real this wasn’t an illusion. ”Is.. it yours?” Sam asked his jaw hanging open as he pointed at Maya hoping he was wrong. He wouldn't wish that on anyone.

>>”so…. It isn’t mine?”

Maya rolled her eyes. Of course that was what Sam was worried about. Statistically, he was much more likely to have unknown offspring randomly show up at his doorstep.
Mirror, on the other hand, was just that damn lucky.

"Sam, why on God's green earth would I be changing diapers on your baby?"

>>”Is.. it yours?”

At this point, it was not even worth blushing about.

"Yeah" she sighed, looking at the baby who was cooing up at Sam's icy face "As far as I know, anyway. Haven't been able to contact Becca yet. You don't happen to know where she is, do you?"

”Because that’s what you do when a baby has a dirty diaper you change it.” Sam blinked again and looked from Maya to the baby then back to Maya and let out a large sigh of relief. ”Thank god!” Sam leaned against the chair as his legs felt slightly weak he took a breath and placed his hand on his forehead for a second then stood up straight and then realized that Maya now had a baby. ”Oh… I mean…” Sam pushed himself off the side of the chair and then gave Maya a slight smirk.

”So it’s yours….” patting Maya on the back Sam tried not to show how happy he was to not have a kid show up on his doorstep. Like what happened with Sammy. His thoughts trailed back to the dream world Amanda put him in and his thoughts did a tuck and roll off the side of memory lane.

”Not sure I know a Becca.” Sam said as he pushed Bruno out of his way as he went to his chair behind his desk. ”Aww… look at the little baby!” Sam waved his hand near the baby as a small ice sculpture of a teddy bear formed next t the baby’s head. It was small enough for a baby to pick up but too big to choke on. Sam was familiar with the way babies had a knack for trying to chew things. He found himself reliving previous experiences that didn’t really happen.

”A gender shifter though? Already? Fantastic!” Sam said impressed with Maya’s kid. Then realized it was Maya’s kid. ”So… Becca? Does Evee know?” Sam asked the ice on his body quickly dissipated as he looked down and smiled at the kid he now knew wasn’t his.

>>”Not sure I know a Becca... Aww… look at the little baby!”

At this point Maya felt dangerously close to either getting a stroke, or striking something herself. Sam gleefully played with the baby now that he knew it was not his. There was no fairness in the world. Sam had no random kids showing up on his doorstep after sleeping with half of New York, while Maya slipped once...

"Good Lord, Sam, Becca was on the X-team" she groaned "Metal powers? Redhead? accent? No?..."

>>”A gender shifter though? Already? Fantastic! So… Becca? Does Evee know?”

"Yeaaaaah" Maya drew that out, walking around an uncomfortable subject "I was a shifter too, even before I was born. They thought it was an ultrasound mistake." she sighed "I mean... I swear, Becca and I, it was one time, and even before I met Evelyn. And now, presto, baby. The heck am I to do, huh?!"

Sam looked from the baby to Maya and shrugged, ”A lot of people have been joining up and then vanishing, and in case you have forgotten I was pretty preoccupied the last few months.” Sam then proceeded to point at his head implying he was recently mind controlled, ”But you’re right I should know whom exactly you have one night stands with. While we are at this I have a list you need to look at as well.” Sam said sarcastically as he looked at the baby and scooped the little gender shifter up now that there was a fresh diaper on.

As long as he knew the kid wasn’t his Sam had no problem with the child. Cradling the kid in his arms like he did when Sammy and Aryrin were babies he started to bounce his arms up and down before he realized what he was doing. He then reminded himself that those were just implanted memories not real ones. He looked to the baby and smiled, ”You tell her.” Sam said without much thought. ”You tell her the truth, and if you want to keep the kid you raise him slash her. You love your kid and do what ever you can for him slash her, it will be hard but hell if I did it twice anyone….” Sam paused and looked from the Maya to the baby before he added, ”If you aren’t interested we can find a family for him slash her.”

Sam stood up with the little guy/girl in his arms and he smiled to the kid, ”Pretty simple, as simple as wrapping it up before you get to work.” Sam said smiling to the baby, ”You’re his biggest little mistake aren’t you?” Sam said icing over a finger and waving it in front of the babies face.

>>”A lot of people have been joining up and then vanishing, and in case you have forgotten I was pretty preoccupied the last few months. But you’re right I should know whom exactly you have one night stands with. While we are at this I have a list you need to look at as well.”

"That's not even what I... argh" Maya gave up with a sigh "... nevermind."

Now that the baby was proven to be not his, Sam was all kinds of affectionate. Maya almost smiled at him doting over Baby X. If he was not the biggest player in town, he might have actually made a good father. Maybe he still would, one day, if the right woman got his stuff together.

>>”You tell her. You tell her the truth, and if you want to keep the kid you raise him slash her. You love your kid and do what ever you can for him slash her, it will be hard but hell if I did it twice anyone… If you aren’t interested we can find a family for him slash her.”

"Wait, hold up, you did twice what now?..." Maya blinked, missing the rest of the speech. It was easier that way, given that Sam was talking about her raising a child, actually raising it, like an adult. Ugh.

Sam bounced the baby up and down then looked to Maya and shrugged, ”You keep forgetting the whole Amanda mind control thing. I wasn’t just controlled. She gave me everything I wanted, how she could control me. I had a family.” Sam said trying not to put much feeling behind the words. He, Alexandra, Sammy and Ayrin were a family and it was the happiest he had ever been. Up until he started to fight the world Amanda constructed for him.

As if he was making his feelings known Bruno ran up next to him and sat down staring at the baby. Sam patted Bruno on the head and remembered how well the dream Bruno was with his kids. ”No, Bruno go lay down. Don’t want to scare the little guy/gal.” Sam looked to Maya then raised an eyebrow, ”You pick a name for him slash her yet?”

Sam looked from Maya back to the baby and smiled, ”Pretty unlucky though.” Sam said shrugging his shoulders then shifting the baby and holding it in his arms outstretched, ”I mean, all from a one night stand, almost makes me want to make some calls.” Sam smirked then held the baby closer to his chest, ”Almost.” no body wants to go through that can of worms.

>>”You keep forgetting the whole Amanda mind control thing. I wasn’t just controlled. She gave me everything I wanted, how she could control me. I had a family.”

"Oh, that." Maya frowned. It just went to remind her that somewhere deep down Sam did want more than sleeping around with gorgeous women. He wanted a family. And he had one in his dream world, before he was woken up.

>>”No, Bruno go lay down. Don’t want to scare the little guy/gal. You pick a name for him slash her yet?”

"No, not really" Maya had to admit; naming the kid would have been a step towards becoming a weird little family, and she was not ready for that just yet. "She/he usually goes by Baby X these days."

>>”Pretty unlucky though. I mean, all from a one night stand, almost makes me want to make some calls. Almost.”

"Yeah." Maya huffed "Although, I think if Becca wanted me to know about this kid, she would have told me. Last time I saw her she had a girlfriend. It's not like Baby X got dropped off on my doorstep. I am guessing if the crazy woman didn't kidnap the kid, I still wouldn't know she exists..."

”Baby X huh?” Sam asked looking to the baby and holding him/her out again before shaking his head, ”I’m voting for Charlie, heck he/she could pull of a Sam as well.” Sam said smirking and playing with the ice on his finger and waving it around in front of the baby’s face again. ”You like that don’t you huh Sam?” Sam smirked then looked back to Maya when she mentioned that Becca had a girlfriend.

”You knocked up a chick who is into chicks? Or did she only start likeing chicks after you broke up with her?” Sam asked shaking his head and laughing slightly, ”You dog.” Bruno let out a small woof and tried to investigate the baby again that was in Sam’s arms.

”wait…. A crazy girl shows up with a kid and says it’s yours?” Sam asked raising an eyebrow and looking at Maya, ”Where did she take the kid from and did you get a DNA test?” Sam asked as a more serious tone came into his voice, ”I know a little bit about crazy chicks and babies Maya, if they were crazy to begin with it is probably best not to believe everything they say.” Sam said nodding his head like he just gave Maya the most important knowledge in the world.

>>”Baby X huh? I’m voting for Charlie, heck he/she could pull of a Sam as well. You like that don’t you huh Sam?”

"Sam, I'm not naming my kid after you. She deserves a chance in life."

With Sam's track record, the last thing the Mansion needed was another mutant named Sam, and what that could switch genders.

>>”You knocked up a chick who is into chicks? Or did she only start likeing chicks after you broke up with her? You dog.”

"She is bi..."

>>”wait…. A crazy girl shows up with a kid and says it’s yours? Where did she take the kid from and did you get a DNA test? I know a little bit about crazy chicks and babies Maya, if they were crazy to begin with it is probably best not to believe everything they say.”

"She knew who I was and what my powers were, and she claimed that the kid is mine. That's why she had her, as a hostage." Maya sighed "MRC is still working on getting a confession from her. And I am trying to reach Becca. And no I didn't get a DNA test. Somehow I couldn't find the time. My hands were full of baby."