Sometimes, Words Are Not Enough... (CS)

The sun shown brightly through the window as the four dogs and the lone cat curled up soaking in the warmth of the sun and enjoying every second of it. “You guys are so lazy…” Sam said as he looked at them then walked into his closet to take care of Cammie’s litter box which he had originally planned to clean the day he got back from the mission but thanks to a certain batter he was hospitalized for the day.

The entire day Sam felt like a prisoner, sure there were no bars and the food was still the same but Doc Prof kept constant watch on him after he healed the nice bump Ghost was kind enough to leave him. After explaining why Sam was hit to the professor all Sam got was a look saying, ‘What do you expect’. Of course Sam neglected to mention why he had kissed Ghost and the fact that she tried killing him or capturing him for an organization that trained him as a killer from birth. That would not have gone over well and he didn’t plan on telling anyone about it.

Figuring when Ghost and him would be called in for de-briefing he would just shrug and would say, “I was hit I don’t know what happened” he didn’t care if it was one of his first missions; he was going to take his secret to the grave. He wasn’t even sure if Ghost knew what happened or was she under the impression it was all a dream. From what Doc had told him she came to visit but he wasn’t awake yet he figured if she was aware of what happened she would have waited to talk about it. ‘Guess that means she thought it was a dream…’ thought Sam as he refilled the litter box.

A knock on the door and the silent room became filled with noise; the first one to the door was Cammie, which he thought was interesting because normally Cammie couldn’t care who was at the door. Once Cammie sat at the door the rest of the pack followed and barked and whined trying to figure out who was at the door.

Setting down the litter box and shooting a beam of ice in the empty dog water bowls Sam walked from his closet and to his front door and let out a quick whistle letting his pets know that he was opening the door and to back up. He was after all the pack leader. As they followed the whistle Sam opened the door and saw a mess of balloons, “uhhh hey…” looking at the hand Sam called out a name, “Ghost, come in.” just as he said Ghost, Cammie let out a huge meow and ran over to ghost and snuggled her leg.

It took Sam a second to realize what all of the stuff Ghost was carrying was for but then he read the balloons, “I’m alright, still got a slight ringing in my head that sounds like music when it’s quiet but other than that I’m fine.” He watched as Ghost picked up his cat that was by now purring up a storm. The dogs if they could purr would react the same way after she dished out the treats for them. Noticing that Mackenzie was about to loose her treat Sam called out “Thor” which distracted his husky pup long enough so his retriever could get her treat.

As he crouched down to pet the Mackenzie who brought her treat over to eat next to Sam’s feet. Sam looked up to ghost who was sitting on his bed with flowers, ‘I know where this is going,’ thought Sam as he mentally embraced himself for the oncoming questions that he was sure was one of the reasons Ghost would have gone through the trouble to get all of this stuff. Sure they were friends but Sam was aware how busy Ghost was with school and work so he was a little surprised to see her in his room and on his bed, which he thought he would have never seen.

The clearing of the throat was the sign of his quiet mansion life crashing to the ground. He didn’t want to admit to everything he didn’t want to say anything but she knew about it and the best way to keep her in the dark is tell her. Walking over to his front door Sam opened it looked out to make sure no one was in the hall way and then closed the door an locked it. The next thing he did was freezing the bottom of the door to the ground so it would be almost impossible for sound to escape his room.

Another time another place he would have said something about her on his bed as he silently removed his shirt. “Ya, I have one…” he turned his back to her to reveal his number branded in a tattoo into his skin. Even if healers could remove them there was no way he would let Doc Prof remove it. It was his reminder of everything he had done and everything he grew up not having. It was his motivation for changes something he didn’t want to loose.

“602” Sam quietly said as he read the number from his back, “got this when I was around six years old…” putting his shirt on he turned his back to face Ghost. He let out a careful sigh and noted her fingers fidgeting around, “Ask what you want to know…” Sam sat down his head on the wall-facing Ghost. With a sad blank expression on his face he waited for the questions to pour out.

Sitting waiting and waiting for Ghost to speak Sam passed the time by creating a small ice figure and worked it like a puppet making it dance back and forth, something he often did when he was smaller. It seemed that the meeting with TATMAH brought up old habits that he didn’t want to remember.

As she spoke the small figure of ice stopped moving, listening intently to her Sam didn’t interrupt all he did was look from the now stationary figure to Ghost with the same blank expression on his face. Sam could tell that Ghost had been thinking about this for a while, something that he appreciated greatly considering the delicacy of the situation.

Waiting till she was fully done talking Sam stood up and walked to his night stand and opened the drawer and pulled a small box from it and from their he opened it and pulled his greatest treasure from the small box. Looking at his picture Sam smiled slightly and handed it to Ghost, the picture was of a five-year-old Sam with his younger brother standing next to him, both had smiles on their faces. “You know,” Sam said as he walked back to his previous location and sat down leaving the picture in Ghost’s hands, “That was taken just before they took me…” he paused and looked at his hands with the same blank expression he had the entire conversation.

It took him a second to gather his thoughts but when he did he looked back to Ghost and said, “I often found myself wondering what kind of person I would be if I wasn’t taken as a kid…” he paused and swallowed the dry lump in his throat and continued, “I had a brother, a mother and a father…hardly remember any of them brief flashes every now in then that become nothing more than a scattered and jumbled dream…” his hand raised as if he was trying to grasp something out of thin air and he quickly set it down.

He sighed and looked up to her again, “I killed the TAT agents not only for my selfish dream of revenge but to make sure they don’t have a chance to turn any other little kids like me.” He paused again and looked up, “you remember the fight with Aiden the Tiger shifter? He was one of my ‘classmates’ I panicked when I saw him and thought he was bringing TAT with him.” He sighed again and looked over to his dogs chewing their treats, “Would have killed him without a second thought if you and Ari didn’t get involved.”

Shifting his gaze back to Ghost Sam sighed again and followed it up with the answer to her question, “A killer a “Solider of Justice” what ever you want to call it,” he let out a weak laugh, “I was so gullible back then, catch a bad guy and they turn them good, as simple as that…” he pointed to ghost and said, “Abductions were more like it, kidnappings, and the ones that were to powerful were taken out.” Sam clenched his fist-which caused the small ice figure by his feet to explode to make his point. “Your just lucky they didn’t do anything serious to you…” he paused as he thought about it for a second then quickly asked as life returned back to his eyes, “You weren’t marked were you?”

Pulling the picture of him and his younger brother from his knee and setting it down gently to his side Sam sighed, he was happy when that picture was taken he could tell from the look on his face. Sam often tried to remember a smile like that but it never looked as happy in comparison it was always off often giving it a look of a fake smile.

Looking from his picture back to Ghost he just nodded, “Hawaii was the first time I killed since I ran away from them, haven’t even thought about it that much really.” He still had trouble meeting with Ghost’s eyes, not only was he not making an effort to meet her gaze but from what he could tell she had just as much as a hard time as him. His gaze shot over to Cammie who was now finished with her treat and was purring away on the bed. As he stared at Cammie the cat caught Sam’s gaze and hopped from the bed and ran over to Sam and curled up on his lap and purred. “But yeah TAT agents are the only ones I would consider killing.”

His hand ran down Cammie’s back as she purred and lifted her back end so Sam would pet her entire back not just the head. When he heard Ghost forgive him he didn’t show much more emotion than he had the entire conversation he just looked to her and stared, he didn’t need forgiveness from Ghost but it certainly made him feel slightly better, he needed forgiveness from himself which was something he wouldn’t give, he could forgive himself for being used like that, he didn’t deserve it.

A promise? He didn’t say anything right away but if he could up hold to the promise she was asking for then he would. He wasn’t one to lie to a friend or break promise but sometimes promise had to be broken or lies had to be made. Ghost was his friend and someone he didn’t want to lie to if he could help it.

Blinking was all he could do to the she was asking of him, “Not kill?” why would she ask such a thing from him, she knew that they stole his childhood and made him kill ‘for the good of the world’ she knew that they turned him into a monster. She had seen first hand what they did to mutants so why would she ask such a thing, “Ghost…” Sam said as he looked her in the eyes trying to fight back the feeling of a tear that was starting to form in his left eye, “I can’t promise that,” he picked up Cammie and held her close in a hug and said, “But I can promise you one thing, if I can avoid it I won’t kill…”

He offered a weak smile as he wiped the tear from his eye plying it off like he was pulling a hair from it. “They still have things I need, Ghost I can’t promise what you want but I’ll promise to avoid killing them.” He hoped that was enough for her because as long as TAT was around he couldn’t have a normal life, he’d have to watch his back and those he cared for, after all they already had tried to use Ghost.

Nodding to her last statement, “Well that's what friends do Ghost, I’m sure you would have done the same for me…” said Sam as he quickly thought in his head, ‘minus the killing’.

As a reaction to her comment Ghost seemed to tense up, well he didn’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that she was lying, “Glad they didn’t get to you…” Sam said with a smile on his face trying to play off that he didn’t notice her tensing up. “So are the questions all cleared up?” Sam said trying to get this awkward conversation over with and something more enjoyable.

He looked to Ghost with the most sincere look he could muster and he shook his head, ‘After a few months they forget who they are become nothing more than killing machines, it all really depends on how strong the mutant is mentally…’ that's what he wanted to say but he couldn’t come around to say it. She didn’t seem that upset with him after all over the situation. He thought Ghost was going to start whaling on him with a bat or a golf club till he promised to not kill every again. Even with those he wasn’t sure how far he could promise to her.

He let out a small laugh as he stood up picking Cammie up as he walked over to the bed, “No on the first,” Sam said as he shot her a grin to let her know he was joking, “But yes to the second one.” He let out a small laugh and then said, “Thanks for understanding…”

He waited for his slice of the cookie then only after he said he said, “To think you went upside my head with a baseball bat and here you are in my room with a locked door and on my bed…” he let out a laugh as he petted Cammie who poked her head in-between Ghost and Sam, “I am kind of getting mixed signals here.” He flinched now out of habit and waited for Ghost to hit him or say something.

All Sam could do was blink as he stopped chewing his cookie as he stopped filching…’Was Ghost serious’ Sam wondered as he met her gaze. He knew the window wasn’t locked and he also knew at any moment Ghost could ‘ghost’ and just escape from the vents windows or through the cracks in the door. She really had no need to seeing as Sam was joking. He looked away from her and munched into his giant piece of his cookie as he tried to figure out if Ghost was screwing with him or not.

Finally Sam said, “Your not giving mixed signals, just teasing you a bit is all.” He shot a sly grin on the corner of his mouth so she could see it. “Figured, you to be the type to know when you’d be messed with…” pausing Sam took another bite and then leaned back on his bed as Cammie crawled onto his lap and started to purr, “But then again that golden guy did get you pretty easily never pictured Ghosty to be the easy type…”

Still in slight disbelief that Ghost could be this naïve he just stared at the wall waiting for her to call out, Got you! or God your so gullible Sam he probably would have laughed then continued eating but part of him wanted to help her if she was really this gullible. Reaching his free hand out he patted Ghost on the head and said, “You might have a lot to learn in the regards to guys Ghost.”

etting out a small laugh at Ghost’s expense Sam replied, “Might as well be a different species, didn’t you ever hear men are from Mars and women are from Venus? Those to planets are pretty far apart, so yeah I would consider my self a different species from you…” he sat up again petting Cammie as she crawled up onto his shoulders and continued to purr. There were many reasons him and Ghost were different, being a man and her a woman was just the tip of the iceberg.

Standing up finishing his last bit of cookie Sam looked at his picture once more and walked over to his night stand and set it down gently, “Let’s just say all of the guys out there are as nice as me…” walking over with Cammie still coiled around his shoulders Sam neared Ghost and opened his arms for a hug, “Last thing I want is you to get hurt,” he grinned and waited for Ghost to give him a hug, “Who would I talk to if your gone, your one of my best friends!”

Over the period of one mission and a small talk Sam never felt so close to someone in his life, sure Leila knew about it but she didn’t go through what Ghost did which was a small fraction what Sa went through. So if anyone in the house could truly understand him it would be Ghost.