Misery, Table for Two. (Kai)

Deliveries- it was time when you had face to face interaction with your customers and got to see the immediate effects of the flowers/ plants and how they just brightened up a person’s day. It was also really important to make a good impression on customers. Usually Kai loved deliveries, but he was having a hard time lately, and wasn’t looking forward to this week. Valentine’s day (and the week preceding it) was a VERY busy time in the flower industry. Which meant that Kai had to “stop sulking and put on your happy freakin’ face!” according to Cameron.

So here he was, at some swanky apartment, decorating the place from so guy who wanted to impress his girlfriend. He placed a bouquet of roses on the small kitchen table near the front door, then moved on to the bedroom. He took out a bag of petals (which had already fallen off of the flowers, thank-you-very-much) and began to scatter them around.

“I don’t know what is romantic about cut flowers and petals which are just going to shrivel up and die,” he muttered, mostly to himself, but partly to the lone cactus on the bed side table. It gave a non-committal mental shrug and asked for some water.

Of course, Kai replied. He was suddenly glad that he was not delivering live plants. This man could barely even keep his cactus alive- and that was saying something, because cacti were extremely versatile and adaptive. He picked up the small yellow ceramic dish and carried it back to the kitchen.

That’s when he heard the “knock”. If you could call it that. It sounded like someone was trying to break down the door!? Surely robbers wouldn’t pick out a random apartment in the middle of the suburbs on the third floor- would they? And what if they were unhappy to find someone there when they broke in?

Kai fingered his acorn necklace nervously and searched for something to defend himself with, if it came to that. He grabbed the closest weapon- an umbrella, just as the door gave way and people started rushing in.

One thing was certain: this was NOT in his job description.

“Kaga-who? I’m just the florist.” Kai answered when his interrogators finally stopped yelling and let one person take over questioning him. The brunette seemed pleasant, save for the fact that she was scowling at him and implying that he was gay. Kai let any romantic notions of her fade away. Stupid Valentine’s Day, it made you think there were budding romances all around you. “I think you have the wrong apartment. I was making a delivery for…uh, Matt…. Uh, Matt something. Well, check the card on the flowers, I’m sure I wrote his whole name on it. But then again, maybe not. In any case, he said that the door would be unlocked and just to come in.”

Kai’s babbling was interrupted by the sound of footsteps at the doorway. He turned to see a stocky figure stepping over the battered door. He was a small man- seemingly of Asian descent, thin, and completely harmless looking. He surveyed the room for a moment. Kai thought that he was going to pass out from the shock of seeing so many strangers in his home- and heavily armed ones at that.

And then all hell broke loose- or at least what Kai imagined hell would be like.

He didn’t see exactly what happened, but all of a sudden there was a swirling pillar of fire making its way toward them. Kai dove behind the table, pleasantly surprised that his guards seemed to have temporarily forgotten about him. The hedgehog cactus, still cradled under his arm protested this latest form of abuse. Hey! Not all of us can survive these temperatures! Like me, he almost added.

Even using the overturned table as a shield, Kai felt the heat against his skin. In the confusion, he found himself huddled next to the interrogator lady- who, if he remembered correctly, somehow knew that he was telling the truth. Maybe she knew why this guy was so pissed.

“What’s his deal?!” Kai yelled over the roar of bullets and fire.

Unfortunately, the small talk was cut short when a fire-panther reached around the table, his claws searching for whoever was hiding behind it. Apparently “Matt” didn’t leave anyone on the sidelines alone and out of the conflict.

Kai acted purely out of instinct. He lobbed the only ammunition he had over the barricade; the cactus. Staying as low as possible, he peeked over the table quickly… There! An opening. Kai saw a clear path through the chaos to the door, he grabbed the girl’s sleeve trying to bodily pull her free of the crossfire and made a run for it.

FLAMING RHINO OF DEATH! CHARGING RIGHT AT- whumf! Something knocked Kai over with a surprising amount of force, but much less heat than he expected from a fire-beast. And suddenly he could breathe again. Compared to the red and orange of that room, the hallway seemed cool, all blue and pale purple.

The hallway! They made it! Kai… and the questioning lady who had knocked him to safety when he froze… and who was still half on top of him after tackling him out of the doorway.

“Wow! You saved my li-” Again, Kai’s niceties were cut short as fire followed them into the hallway. He scrambled, half crawling to safety. He finally made it to his feet and bolted down the hallway. Only to come to a screeching stop.

Elevator or stairs?

He would be slow on the stairs, but they were only a couple of stories up. The elevator would lead to the lobby and more people- would that deter the fire-crazo or would he just hurt more people? He should push the button. What if the elevator took too long to get to their floor? What if there were people on it? Did he really want to be trapped inside a smaller box where the fire could burn up the oxygen faster and easier? But if the rest of the building caught on fire, everyone would need to use the stairs. So it would be bad if they were all burned up, too. Elevator or stairs?

And where was a fire extinguisher when you needed one?

>"Stairs!”

He heard just before the alarms started blaring. The girl had caught up and now passed him, making good time towards the stairs as first a fine mist started, and then turned into streams of water from the ceiling.

Huh… now why didn’t I think of that? Kai thought. The sprinklers finally pulled him out of his trance- erm, momentary hesitation. He caught the door to the stairs as it was starting to close behind the girl and darted through it to be confronted with flames again!

“Wagrh!” He gave a surprised shout (which was low pitched and very manly…) before he realized that the flames were relatively small and not trying to attach him. But they were attacking the girl running headlong down the stairs ahead of him. Maybe not so much attacking, as she was just on fire. She was reaching the landing and gave no sign of stopping, so Kai acted instinctively once again.

“You’re on FIRE!” He yelled, as he launched himself off the steps.

His body arced gracefully through the air like an Olympic jumper as he soared downwards, gaining speed. His arms stretched out, as though he was going to hug her- and then they collided. Perhaps the landing could have used a little work...

They collided, slid across the giant puddle on the floor, and landed HARD in a pile of limbs and still smoldering clothing. And for some reason it was hard for him to breathe again, but this time it was because it was knocked out of his lungs instead of having all the oxygen seared out of the air around him. Different, but still unpleasant.

Kai gasped and was only able to get a slim stream of smoke coming off of the woman’s blazer. He tried to cough, but had no breath left. He rolled to the side, extinguishing the baby flames and trying to get off the person that he found himself entangled with for the second time in as many minutes.

At least the water was pleasantly cool after being exposed to fire repeatedly. Of the elements, he much preferred water to fire, even as he preferred soil to water.

After a brief moment, Kai managed to regain his breath and composure.

“Uh,” he grunted, “R’you okay? If you are, we should probably keep moving.”

Kai scrambled to his feet, wearily and stumbled down the stairs. They probably looked like quite the pair as they emerged from the stairs; wet, a little singed, bruised, ruffled, and stumbling almost drunk-like. The scene in the lobby was one of ordered chaos. The attendants were herding the first people to evacuate outside propped open doors and calling to each other. The most common phrase that met Kai’s ears was some version of “What happened? Is this a drill?”

He knew that more people were bound to be following him down the stairs and decided to enter the stream heading for the door. He had no idea if he should tell someone about the fire-monsters or not.

A bellhop grabbed at his sleeve. “Are you alright, sir? What floor did you come from? And you, ma’am. Do you know where the fire started? It could really help us when the fire department gets here.” He explained as he drew them aside.

Guess I look worse off than I thought I did. Interrogation round two?