Need to Have Words With You (Rebecca)

Agnes paced back and forth as she still tried to calm herself down. She was completely over this feeling because she did not want to keep feeling mad at Rebecca but she just couldn’t help it. Every time she felt that note in her hand, every time she thought about what Emerald said, Agnes just got it into her head over and over and over again that she was beyond pissed off. She still could not believe that Rebecca could have done such a thing without telling her. Instead she was forced to watch it happen on the news and recognize those flowing red locks and the bit of pale skin that did show whenever the camera caught a glimpse of her.

It was Rhythm all over again. The last time that Rhythm did something stupid, like beating a bunch of cops to within an inch of their lives and making out with a wanted fugitive, Agnes only found out about it because it was pointed out to her on the news. Though this was nowhere near the degree of the betrayal she felt with Rhythm, it still hurt like hell.

The more Agnes thought about that, the harder her pacing began to be, the harder she stomped onto that grass and the harsher her breathing became. Agnes was hard to calm down right now. Granted, what Rebecca was trying to do was noble, but Agnes should have been told. She knew that much. There should have been discussion, a talk, anything other than just finding a note on her door and watching her lover run into a deadly building.

Not paying attention to her surroundings, she continued to stalk left and right, wringing her hands through one another as he tried to keeping the buzzing from other taking her. Her wings fluttered with agitation, on and off, to the point that she feared she would involuntarily take off the ground.

But she managed to rein in at least enough control to be okay.

>> "Hi... sweetie."[/color]

Until she heard that voice. That sweet, lyrical voice that was the target of her disappointment and anger. The second she had heard the sound, she had been startled enough that her wings thunderously before calming down. She turned to face Rebecca.

The look on Agnes’ face, the hurt, the sadness, the disappointment, it was all there, clear as can be. No one could have misinterpreted how she was feeling; no one. She sniffled before she found her voice again.

“Hi,” was all she said. “Do anything…interesting today,” she said as she crossed her arms over her chest and stared at her.

Agnes could tell that the tone of her voice and the look on her face had had an effect on Rebecca. Instead of being mysterious or subtle with how she was feeling, Agnes decided to get straight to the point. Why should she beat around the bush, after all? She was upset because of what Rebecca did and she might as well get straight to that. Rebecca, in her eyes, needed to explain herself, especially as to why she never said anything to her to begin with.

So Agnes stood there and waited. Her arms crossed over her chest, she was not swayed by Rebecca’s sweet and apologetic look. Though she knew that the young redhead was probably sorry, Agnes still just felt far too angry to really just let it go at that. She had a lot to unload off her chest so the real challenge was going to be to do so without working herself up too much.

Eyes focused, she watched Rebecca; she willed her to start explaining, to say anything that could defend what she did, what she was doing this whole time…

>> "Ah always meant tae tell ye. Ah really did, bit things got sae busy and Ah was worried 'boot what ye'd think."[/color]

Agnes still retained the disappointed frown across her lips as she eyed Rebecca. She knew there was truth in that; it was damn busy these days with the end of the school year, applying for colleges, and of course other incidents. But this was something pretty big to keep from her.

>> "Ah should 'ave told ye Ah was an X-Man... are ye really mad?"[/color]

She sucked in a breath as she shook her head and turned her gaze away.

“Yes,” she muttered, looking in nearly every direction before she turned her gaze back to the pretty redhead. “What’re you thinking? Rebecca, you’re going to get yourself killed. I mean…X-Men? Do you have any idea how scared I was, how terrifying it was to watch you through a TV screen running into danger? How could you even think about that without considering my feelings?” she asked.

>> "Ah was on TV?!"[/color]

Agnes. Blinked. That DEFINITELY was not the reaction that she really needed to see right now. Though she knew that Rebecca was not the vain, doing things to be popular, type, she definitely did not want to see the young redhead fawning over the idea that she had been on TV. Even if it was something that she had never experienced before, this was the last thing that Agnes needed to see from her. It simply was not right.

Sadly, that only added fuel to the fires that were already burning pretty hot inside of her.

>> "Ah'm sorry..." [/color]

Agnes said nothing but she was damn right that Rebecca should have said sorry at that point.

The young insect queen was still trying to wrap her head around everything that had happened. She was not even sure that Rebecca had ever told her these inclinations before. What teenager would willingly want to do something like that, unless they were Emerald? Emerald was the rough type that always threw herself into danger because that was the type of person she was. On top of that, she suffered much like how Agnes suffered; Agnes could understand wanting to right the world after all that.

But Rebecca? No, Rebecca should have never been exposed to this type of world, nor should she have ever had these experiences. She should have remained separate from her and lived her life normally. Any semblance of that, though, was gone out the window.

>> "Ah'm sorry Ah didnae tell ye, coz ye deserved tae know, bit Ah hope ye realize Ah want tae be an X-Man, an' Ah dornt plan on quitting."[/color]

Agnes felt everything inside of her stomach just plummet. All she wanted was a normal life and now she was going to have girlfriend who wanted to be a superhero. Agnes just didn’t know how she felt about that. She read comics, watched the dangerous crime on TV and, while she trusted Rebecca and her abilities, she feared for her. She feared that she would eventually run across something far stronger than her and…and…

A tear rolled down her cheek at the thoughts that followed. As much as she did not want to let the doubt and fear crawl into her brain, it was far too late. A little weak kneed, she sat herself down on her the bench and shivered. She tried to stop the thoughts, but she couldn’t. No matter how hard she tried, various images of Rebecca in some type of pain or agony flew to her mind.

And the runaway did not like that.

“So…that’s it, huh?” she sniffled, not even looking at her. “No discussion and that’s it. I’m not going to stand aside and watch you run into something you cannot handle, Rebecca. I love you too much for that,” she took a shaky breath. She was mad, sad, irritated, lost, she really did not know how to handle herself anymore.

So instead, she just cupped her face in her hands and cried.

>> "We can talk aboot it, bit Ah know what Ah want. Ah have gifts tha' can help people. Ah proved that t'day."[/color]

Agnes shook her head slightly. What was there really to talk about? It seemed as if Rebecca was being stubborn and made up her mind as to what was going to be happening from now on. Apparently she was not going to back down in becoming an X-Man and there was little that Agnes could say in order to change her mind. Though she never would have dreamed of ever telling someone like Rebecca what to do, this matter just seemed different.

Rebecca’s life was going to be at stake and Agnes had to do everything she could to prevent that from happening.

She sniffled as she still refused to look at her sweet girlfriend. She felt that if she did she was going to fail and fall to pieces. It was just too hard to stop imagining, seeing Rebecca hurt…or worse. Too many people left Agnes life and she did not want that fate for Rebecca.

But what could she do?

>> "An' Ah can handle it jist fine, thank ye. Jist coz Ah didnae have a rough childhood dornt mean Ah cannae take care o' myself!"[/color]

The voice rose and Agnes finally turned her attention back to young Scot. Now Agnes had always had her own temper but she was quelling it so long as she was talking to Rebecca; but the second she heard the raised tone in her voice, Agnes felt her own dander rising. Instead of crying, she was starting to get mad all over again.

“Take care of yourself?” she asked with narrowed eyes. “Rebecca you ran into a room full of things ready to KILL you!” she said as she finally stood up from the bench. “Did you even think about what would have happened if you bit off more than you can chew? You didn’t tell me about being an X-Men, you didn’t look for me when you ran off on your damn mission,” her eyes welled up again but with hot tears. “You didn’t even call me to tell me you were okay so that I could hear your voice! You just slid a damn note under my door and expected everything to be okay? What if you weren’t? What if you had gotten seriously hurt and this,” she held up the note Rebecca had left her. It was crumpled, stained with tears, and just generally already worn out. “Is the last and only thing I ever got from you?”

Agnes did not really realize the true weight of the words that she was spouting off. As she stood there, growing angrier and angrier with every word she said, remembering how she felt in those harrowing moments that she was watching her girlfriend run around on screen, she tried to focus on why she was upset. She was not looking to truly harm Rebecca but she couldn’t just keep things bottled up anymore. She was mad and she needed to express that.

Unfortunately it seemed that her rant had struck just a tad bit harder than she really meant it to. Before she knew it she watched as the destroyed look fell over Rebecca’s face and the young redhead sunk onto the stone bench. Lily white hands buried her face and all Agnes could feel was the pull of her heart.

And damn, did it hurt.

>> "Ah'm sae sorry..."[/color]

The tears fell and Agnes was immediately struck by the sadness in her voice. Though it got the desired effect of expressing to Rebecca just how bad she felt, the problem now was that she had REALLY made her feel bad. The crying the hurt sound of her voice and already Agnes could feel her resolve crumbling into dust. She didn’t want it to get this far but it was definitely far too late to pull it back.

She sniffled as her own tears began to spring up. She fell into the seat next to Rebecca but she didn’t dare touch her; not yet. Maybe it was because there was still the smallest twinge of anger in her, or maybe it was because she didn’t want Rebecca to feel like she did this intentionally. Whatever the case, Agnes struggled to keep her hands firmly upon her own knees as she too began to drip tears, though still did not dare look at the young red head.

“I…” she choked out. “I...Rebecca…why?” she asked. She might as well get to the bottom of why Rebecca was doing this. If she could figure that out then maybe she would not be so inclined to be angry with her. “Why did you join them?”

That was as good a place to start as any, right?

>> "It started coz of you... fer people who suffered like you…Ah was given th' power tae help fix th' world, an' being wi' th' X-Men gives me tha' chance...[/color]

Agnes momentarily felt her cheeks flush a bit in irritation. She didn’t like it when people tried to go out of their way to protect her. That was one thing that the runaway could not stand in the least, was for people to be thinking that she needed protecting all the time. The young runaway had survived so much so it simply was not fair for people to think that she needed to saved all the time. What was it their business to be doing things like that anyways? It was not as if she asked them to do it.

A glance at Rebecca, though, and she knew that things were different. Though Rebecca may have indeed used her as inspiration for wanting to become an X-Man, the truth of the matter was that it had evolved into something far different now. It was beyond just wanting to protect her…it was about protecting everyone.

Agnes just didn’t know how she felt about that. The problems of everyone were not Rebecca’s cross to bear so why should she? Why should she risk her life to protect a world of people who hardly cared one iota about them? At least that is what Agnes thought.

>> "Ah saved people today... it wasnae easy, bit Ah instantly knew Ah was right... Being an' X-Man feels like what Ah was s'posed tae do…Ah shoulda told ye, but Ah was scared... Ah worried yoo'd hate me for it... an' maybe... Ah worried aboot th' same thing you did."[/color]

It was now Agnes’ turn to feel the real sting of the conversation. The young mutant sighed as she continued to toy with the hem of her jeans, trying to not allow herself to start crying again. Did she really come off as that harsh? Was she always that harsh around Rebecca? Agnes had never meant to come off like that, but, if that were the case, why did Rebecca have any fear about telling her?

Maybe because of how she was reacting right now. Agnes sniffled. She hated to think that Rebecca was scared to tell her anything, especially after all the stuff that they had gone through just to get to the point where they could be together.

Now, though, Agnes was having a hard time figuring out what to do next. She made her stance that she really did not like the idea of Rebecca being an X-Man clear. But…could she really tell her that? Especially after Rebecca just poured her heart out.

>> "Ah guess Ah was terrified ye wouldnae be proud o' me..."[/color]

That was the final stake through the heart of her anger. She sighed, sniffled and, unsure of really what else to say, raised her hand and gently brushed her fingers across the redhead’s shoulder. She could have simply passed it off as just trying to shoo some stray hairs away, but she didn’t Instead…the young insect queen left her hand upon the young Scot’s shoulder and sighed.

It…it was going to hurt to say…but…she had to. She did not want to be viewed as a monster or someone who would not allow Rebecca to be or do whatever she wanted.

“I…I’m scared…” she whispered. “But I’m proud of you…”