In Need of a Talk (Mama T)

Agnes had knocked and still there was no answer. Maybe she got the office hours wrong? Well, that would help her out in the long run. At least that meant she would have a bit longer to figure out what she was going to do with Gina and the whole situation.

The runaway sighed, shook her head and ran her fingers through her hair. She felt like she had really messed up her relationship with Gina. She had been keeping so much from her and yet she always called her, her “sister”, her best friend, what kind of “sister” does that to the other? She knew she trusted Gina, she cared for her very much, but she had such a sweet outlook on life. Agnes really did not want to crush all that with her horrid tale about what her parents did to her. And on top all that, she kept the fact from Gina that she was gay? But then again, she had just barely found that out herself.

Such a conundrum she found herself in! Agnes sighed again and made ready to leave when suddenly…the door opened.

Oh no… she thought.

>> "Hi Agnes, How are you doing? Is there something I can help you with?"

No turning back now, Agnes thought to herself as she slipped into the room, smiling and nodding meekly at the extremely tall woman.

“I-I’m okay. I…I just really need to talk about something,” Agnes said quietly as she slipped into the woman’s office. “By the way, I hope you are well.”

Agnes took a few steady breathes as she tugged at the edge of her gray sweater with her nervous fingers, wandering around the woman’s office briefly, waiting for her to take a seat first. When she finally did, the runaway sighed and knew that this was it. She was doing this because she needed advice about how to help things along with Gina. She couldn’t do it by herself, she knew that, and she was not going to just let Gina slip out of her life because of their tiff. She needed help.

Once the counselor finally sat, the crystal blue-eyed teen tucked a few strands of hair behind her pale ear and slipped into the seat across from her. Nervously she bounced her leg a couple times before she finally raised her eyes to look at the kindly face of the dark skinned woman.

“I-I know…I know it’s strange that I’ve come here. I’ve…never come to you before,” she sniffled a little, her fingernails scratching a bit at the knees of her jeans. “B-But I think, I…really messed things up with my roommate, Gina. I don’t know if she’ll talk to me again. I…kept some pretty big secrets from her and…she walked in on all of them one morning. And…” she sniffled a bit and shook her head. “And it’s big for me too and I’m confused and…I really don’t know up from down right now,” she sighed gently wrapped her own arms around herself. Finally, after a second or two, she calmed down enough to wipe her eyes. “I-I’m sorry…seems…every time we meet I’m crying,” she said with a very small, sad smile on her face…

>> "It's okay, Agnes…Take your time. I don't need to be anywhere anytime soon, we have time."

Agnes sniffled as she tried to compose herself. She hated the idea that she was letting this get to her again. She felt like she had been making such progress; she was starting to feel a little happier, she was making a couple of friends, and she was growing to accept what had happened to her. She was ready to start living life inside of just surviving in it, but this whole fiasco just completely threw her for a loop. Normally Agnes would have preferred to fix this problem herself but she felt she didn’t have to tools for it. Not for this.

She never had to fight for her friendship before. There had never been anyone that important in her life to do so…

>> "It's all right…Tell me what happened."

Agnes cautioned a glance over to Ms. Taylor. The woman had to be an angel, that was the only way that she could describe her. She never backed down when helping her and she always knew the right things to say when she was upset. She was there when she her powers went out of control, when she finally revealed to her what had happened with her parents, she aided when that damn video made it onto ViewTube, she even connected her with that nice policeman who really seemed to want to drop everything to help her!

If there was one that was that was tough to gain from Agnes, it was her trust. Living on the streets taught her that trust is fickle and should be closely guarded; you can’t just give it to anyone, after all. People were always bound to betray you. But Agnes was slowly learning that was not the truth in this place. At least…that’s what she hoped…

She nodded as she turned to look at Gemma. She felt she was going to be in trouble for…doing that in the girl’s dormitory. If that were the case, fine, she would accept the consequences. She just needed advice on fixing her and Gina, she needed to repair that first and foremost.

A shaky breath…followed by another…and Agnes gulped before she turned her head down to talk to the carpet…

“G-Gina is…she’s like the little sister I’ve always wanted. She’s…so sweet, so kind, I…I love her,” Agnes whispered as she continued to nervously tug at the sleeves of her sweater. “We’ve been doing great; hanging out, laughing…but…I kept so much from her. I…I never told her about…” she indicated to her own body, “…the scars. She’s knows I ran away from home, but I never went into specifics as to why. I just…she’s so sweet!” Agnes said with a pleading look up to Gemma and then shook her head. “I couldn’t do that to her. I couldn’t be the one to ruin her sunny outlook on life by telling her that my parents did this to me! And could possibly do it to her should she run across them…”

Tears were forming and rolling down her cheeks. Agnes was clearly upset because she really felt like she was going to be losing someone because of all this and she didn’t want that to happen. She really did love that little gargoyle and wanted to keep her in her life. But how could she fix keeping a secret for this long? A secret this massive? Who would forgive her that?

“Now…I…can’t bring myself to talk to her. She looks so…hurt…” Agnes muttered as she went back to staring at the carpet. That obviously was not the whole of her story. There was still a major part she left out concerning Rhythm and how Gina even came out to learn of her scars…maybe Ms. Taylor wouldn’t ask.

Wishful thinking is always such a temporary comfort.

>> "But she found out, didn't she…About the scars. And that you kept the secret from her…Tell me what happened. It will be easier after."

Agnes felt her throat close up. Not because she was having an allergic reaction to anything, but simply because her body was trying to keep the words from coming out. She knew that what she did was wrong, that something like that would not be allowed on the mansion grounds but she had to tell the truth about what happened that day. There was no getting around it, Ms. Taylor needed to know about how Gina discovered her scars and what else she was more than likely hurt about.

A flush of embarrassment reddened her usually pale skin as she thought back to that night. To that one night where she felt like she could actually be beautiful to someone else, where she actually felt like she wanted and appreciated as a lover. Her reddened skin goosebumped a little and suddenly she began to feel both warm and cold. She was embarrassed at having to talk about this, but at the same time she felt chilled to the bone. She slept with another girl! Her whole life her parents and their followers always told her that stuff like that was wrong, that she would be a sinner.

Yet how many times have they been right in their lives? She certainly was not demon possessed. And that night with Rhythm definitely didn’t feel like she had done anything bad. The only thing bad that came out of that whole experience was the fact that Gina had walked in on them in the morning…

Agnes could see where she could feel betrayed by that. She never told Gina about her feelings towards the same sex, but at the same time, she was just as confused. As a matter of fact, she still was. The runaway shook her head as she rubbed her sore eyes with the palms of her hands. She was so tired of going through all this in her head.

The gentle patting on her shoulder won her over. A glance to the side and Agnes nodded her head to the guidance counselor. If she couldn’t talk to her then…who could she talk to.

“Well,” she said as she took a breath. “Gina…I…she was gone all night, she was studying I think…and…I don’t know why I didn’t think about it but…she accidentally walked in on me…while I was in bed…with no clothes on…” she had to advert her eyes after that statement. It was not a crime to sleep in the nude, then again Agnes would have never had done that had it not been for what happened prior.

She shook a little, her leg twitching nervously. Anyone else would have let the conversation end there, that that was all that happened. The girl walked in on her after seeing her changing clothes or something and spied the scars. It was a simple enough scenario. But that was not the whole truth, Agnes knew that. There was another layer of betrayal in there.

“And…” Agnes closed her eyes as she forced the words out. “…someone was in bed with me…”

Never had pale skin been so red before.

>> "All right…I can see the problem there. So, which part would you like to talk about first? The scars and Gina, or the person in the bed? Because it seems to me like we will have to talk about both…It's okay, Agnes. This is not the end of the world. You'd be surprised."

Agnes was still so utterly embarrassed. Not that she was embarrassed by sleeping with another girl, but simply because of how it was found out. Gina should not have walked in on them, it should had occurred that way. It should have been told to her with the intent of sharing this newfound discovery about herself. That’s the way it should have gone, not her roommate just walking in and discovering them. That was so sneaky it seemed. It would appear to Gina like she was trying to hide something.

The runaway was given the option about what to talk about. But the truth was that both things needed to be addressed. Gina had been betrayed on both fronts so there was really no way of getting around it.

“I guess…both,” Agnes said with a slightly relieved shrug as she turned to look at Ms. Taylor.

She really did have the warmest smile and Agnes had gotten so used to seeing it. It was a comforting, motherly smile that the young runaway had never gotten before, even from her own mother. It showed her that things would be okay, that she was still cared for and, that no matter what, she could always turn to her. That was most important to Agnes right now. For too long she had nobody she could trust or turn to. Her brother disappeared, her parents were and their followers were psychos, there was really nobody for Agnes until she came to the mansion. Now she was surrounded by people that wanted to help.

One of those people she needed to mend bridges with, which was why she was here.

“I…I didn’t mean for it to happen,” Agnes muttered. “It just…I just did. I’m still so confused by it.” she said as she turned to look the guidance counselor sincerely in the face. “My whole life my parents and their congregation told me things like that were wrong but…it didn’t feel wrong…”

Another flush of embarrassment and Agnes shook her head. She still could not believe that she was talking about this out loud. Inadvertently she went directly into the conversation starting with who she was in bed with. Not that she really wanted to start there but it was the best start at the beginning. After all, how else was she going to get to the point that Gina walked in to view those scars AND see her naked in bed with another girl?

It must have hurt to have those two big secrets smack Gina at the same time. Who wouldn’t be hurt by that?

“And then…I just lost track of time. We…slept together,” Agnes said though closed eyes. “I…had every intention of locking the door, of dressing when we were done but…I just fell asleep…next thing I know it’s morning and Gina has walked into the room. God…” she shook her head. “She’s got to feel so betrayed…”

Agnes was still visibly saddened by what she had done. Not because she really felt any embarrassment, but more along the fact that she really did not know how to deal with it. When it came to learning about things like sex and same-sex relationships, she learned only of the atrocities of it thanks to her parents. They shaped her mind to believe that most of those things were wrong, though deep down she knew that had to wrong in itself. How could some pass judgment on any one for loving someone else? It didn’t make any sense at all to her.

But that did not stop the flush in cheeks from happening as she tried to reveal exactly what happened to the guidance counselor. She wanted to talk, but Agnes slowly felt that feeling of something creeping up her spine that made her want to close off again. This conversation had gone too far though and there was no turning back.

>> "All right, first things first…it is not wrong. If you are together with someone of your own free will, because you want to, really want to, and for any other reason, that can not be wrong. Not the way your parents think. You are a teenage girl, Agnes. Things like sleeping with someone you like cannot get more natural than that."

Somewhere Agnes understood that. After initially waking up in Rhythm’s arms, she felt good, complete, like she had finally found a part of herself that was not influenced by her parents. But after Gina ran off and the shock of realizing this true fact about herself, she was still a little unsure of what to think about herself. A glance to Ms. Taylor and she sighed a little, a small nod coming to her head.

“I…I know…” she muttered as she wiped the wetness from her cheeks. “I know they’re wrong.” She smiled just a little as she thought about Rhythm. She knew that she wanted what happened between them to happen just as much as she did.

>> "But I will need to know a few things, all right? You need to tell me who the person was. You don't need to give me a name if you don't want to, I just need to know a few things about them. Also, I know this feels embarrassing, but trust me, you cannot really say anything that surprises me... so, I need to know if you have done this before, and if you have been safe. Once we are done talking, I'll go with you to see a doctor, if it's needed. Don't worry about that now, though. We'll talk first, as long as you need…All right?"

If Agnes could have been any redder she was sure it would have looked like she had a tomato for a head. Agnes had averted her gaze, glancing down at the interesting carpet again as she tried to find her voice. That was a lot that the guidance counselor needed to know. For a second Agnes wanted to get purely defensive and close up, shout that it was none of the older woman’s business and storm out of the room! But once she felt that tender kiss on her forehead, Agnes knew that the woman was only doing her job and that, in a way, she did need to know. Even in her limited capacity she was more of a mother than her own was. After all, Agnes was the one that came to her for help.

A shaky breath as she tried to calm her nerves and Agnes finally spoke up.

“I…ugh…I’ve…never done IT[/b] before. I…It was…my first time,”[/color] Agnes said with a shake of her head. “M-My parents were very strict. And…um, I guess we were pretty safe,” she concluded. She still felt herself wanting to hyperventilate. She was still feeling a little strange about admitting that she had slept with Rhythm. With a sigh she opened her mouth to talk but instead must have come out looking like a fish out of water. Finally she just shook her head. “I…I…I don’t know if I should tell you who it was…”

There, Agnes had said it. She admitted that this was her first experience with sex and that she was reasonably safe. The thought of it still make her flush with embarrassment since this was not a usual topic of conversation with her. She knew that her friends in high school loved to talk about things like this, but she hated to do it. To her they were all simply bragging or really did not know what they were talked about. Most of it was hearsay or, if they had experienced something, it was hard to convey exactly what it was.

That was why Agnes had a hard time really talking about it out loud with the guidance counselor. Then again, the woman probably heard these types of things all the time. It was her job to deal with teenagers and their hormones.

>> "So, first time…You deserve some treats for that. Our family tradition was ice cream, but you can vote for something else. We'll figure that out later."

“I-Ice cream?” Agnes asked with a bit of surprise and shock. She just admitted that she had had sex for the first time and the woman wanted to take her out for ice cream?

It was safe to say that Agnes was utterly confused by the situation. She figured that the woman would be angry with her for doing something like that on school grounds. Then again, in a mansion full a teenagers, it was probably something that was expected to happen at least once or twice. Still though…ice cream? It was a concept that Agnes was so unfamiliar with. To reward someone for something like that was…strange. Then again that could just be more of her mother trying to break into her life.

Meekly Agnes nodded her head, cautioning a smile back at the guidance counselor.

“T-That…that sounds nice. T-Thank you…” she said with a nod.

>> "It was the Morris kid, wasn't it"

For a second Agnes did not hear the woman. She heard something mumbled about a Morris kid and an imploring, if not understanding look on the guidance counselor’s face. Tilting her head curiously, Agnes began to piece the words together in her head as her blue eyes soft a meaning behind them. It was not until a full 5 seconds passed that she finally understood what Ms. Taylor was saying.

That when Agnes twisted in disgust.

“UGH!” she groaned in distaste. “Gawain?! Y-You think I slept with GAWAIN!?” the whole idea made Agnes’ skin crawl as she stood up from the chair and made a visible little dance out trying to wipe the mental image out of her head. “I didn’t sleep with Gawain! Oh my god, why would anyone even think that? He doesn’t even hold a candle to Rhythm. She’s so pretty and I think I…”

Immediately Agnes paused as she ran the last statement back in her head. Did she just admit she slept with another girl? Raising her crystal blue eyes to Gemma Taylor, Agnes sighed. So much for keeping the cat in the bag…