Raina's Office (open to new mutants or needinghelp

Raina was just searching through the files of Gabe- one of the newer mutants she'd met over the past months when a teen Italian boy burst into the room and stared at her. She looked up from her desk with a friendly yet dazed smile.

Oh come on Raina, you've got to remember this one?

She stared for a moment. Embarrassment slowly creeping up on her as she searched for a name.

"Calley!" she exclaimed. He said hello and mentioned counseling. Raina nodded.

It was to her advantage that there was a moment of silence. Her memories and gained knowledge of Calley started to melt into view. He was in his late teens, he could shift into animals, and some time ago she'd met... his BROTHER! Raina's face reddened a bit at the thought of Slate. That's right. Calley and Slate were brothers, and she wasn't all that sure Slate really liked her. She wondered how much of their experience Slate had relayed to his brother. That time with Emerald in the infirmary. Yeah. That was a fun time.

"So, I'm failing three classes and I'm pretty sure they're going to put me in with the freshman next year and I'm nineteen now but I'm apparently an idiot because I didn't even remember my own birthday and when I did I made cupcakes and I brought them to Kat's room but she wasn't there and I ate them all by myself ..."

Calley broke open like a pinata spilling woes instead of candy in a wave so fast Raina could scarcely pick up a pad of paper to start making notes! Her hands moved as fast as they could but she knew the effort might very well be futile at this point. Calley was going so fast her chicken scratch couldn't keep up so she focused on trying her best to really listen instead.

"and my brother only talks to me when he needs something and I think I might leave the Mansion because I really don't think I belong here but I don't seem to belong anywhere and I've only had one girlfriend and one kiss in my life and it seems like the only time I'm comfortable is when I'm a housecat and I have a strong aversion to pillows and close proximity to others and I killed two men...

At first Raina was almost relieved to hear that Calley had average teenage problems. Ok, maybe average was a stretch... but problems that could easily be fixed or have things in place to fix them, cope with them. After the recent plights of Mir Raina wasn't sure if she could handle anything too complex. Not for lack of ability and experience, but for the very fact that there was only one of Raina and some of the higher needs mutants were draining her dry. And of course, being away and getting behind in her work load didn't help either. That's when Calley mentioned killing someone... and Raina instantly really missed Neena.

"And I can only remember one of their faces. And I can't find their names, no matter how hard I search. And everyone says it was a good thing, because they were bad. But if it's okay to kill bad people, then I think no one's going to care if I die except Katrina. But I don't get what makes people good"

Finally Calley went silent and Raina had to pause to wonder if the poor guy had a chance to breathe during that entire outburst. She looked at him with a non judgmental face, something warm and neutral.

"Have a seat Calley." she motioned to the softer chair adjacent to her desk. She brushed her hair out of her eyes and thought a moment waiting for the young man to sit down before proceeding. "That's an awful lot to go through at once." she said deciding to tackle the obvious anxiety he was feeling at the moment before getting into any detail over the specifics. He had to know in a situation like this he was completely justified in feeling as upset as he was. Too often Raina met young mutants who felt like it was a sign of weakness. She wasn't sure if Calley was the type to feel that way... but all the same she'd talk about this first before getting to the specifics. "I imagine having to deal with not only the daily life as a teenager in this mansion, but your mutation, your past, and the recent separation from Slate is an awful lot to handle at once?" She suggested hoping to show the young man she'd heard his points, but wanted him to elaborate more on how these things were making him feel.

It was a challenge when someone came to see her like this. Maternal instincts could sometime take over and a girl might feel the need to swoop in and just hug a younger person and tell them everything was ok. Not only would that be unprofessional but Raina felt that with only 4 years between them Calley might not be up for a hug. Often enough when teens unloaded on you they expect you to have an answer or solution with the first sentence. But it was important to establish everything that's upsetting the person and bring it to light. In her experience mutants were so good at handling the situation when it happened it was almost always more the aftermath that caused the troubles. So, trying her best not to sound cliched Raina added "why don't you tell me how this is all making you feel?" she looked at the teen hopefully. Once she knew which issues were the most upsetting to him and the repercussions she'd know what order she was tackling things.

ooc; I don't get the chance to RP with Calley often so if I've made context mistakes please PM me so I can fix ^_^

Raina smiled as Calley took the offered seat and watched as he pulled his bare feet up on the chair. She wondered if he walked around like that all the time. She couldn't quite recall noticing before- but then again how often did she look at the students feet?

“I feel like I should be guilty and I’m not and I should feel good but I don’t and this place is an easy ride so I want to run so that no one could find me. Why? How am I supposed to feel?”[/i]

Raina was about to respond when he added a question wondering about confidentiality. "anything we say here is always confidential Calley unless you ever request me to relay some information to someone else. I never repeat anything you say. If you're comfortable with it, I'd like to take notes. They can help me get the big picture and make sure I'm really understanding and grasping your situation. They're a great way for both of us to see your progress and what needs work, but of course I'd only do that with your permission."

The notepad that was open to one page with Calley's name scratched out sat untouched in front of her on the desk next to an inkwell pen. "You asked me how you're supposed to feel?" she replied. "I can't really answer that, there's no right or wrong answer.... just feelings. If all of these feelings are causing you stress and upsetting your life that may be a sign that they aren't all healthy for you... but that doesn't necessarily mean you're not supposed to feel them. Afterall... if someone you were friends with suddenly died it would be completely appropriate for you to be depressed though depression is technically unhealthy." She hoped this painted a picture for the young man so he at least wouldn't feel guilty over the very confusion of his emotions.

"So I'm hearing you say that given your experiences you feel like the appropriate emotion to have would be guilt but you're confused by the absence of that feeling... and that on the other end you aren't exactly feeling good either. Not be able to figure out your own emotions much less the situations you've encountered in this past little while is making you feel like it might just be easier to 'shed your skin' so to speak and move on somewhere else hopefully leaving these things behind. Am I right?"

Counseling wasn't any easy thing do to. Not only within her training but within her own life Raina had learned how important it was to show someone you're listening, even if it means repeating things back to them. It meant you were taking the time to make sure you got things right, and really empathetically put yourself in the other person's shoes. Too often counselors thought it was their job to fix the person... but Raina knew if anything was ever to stick the person had to fix themselves... not have a well meaning person do it for them.

Her approach could often take a while. It was generally a long bit of making sure the person felt heard, validated, and comfortable. It wasn't always easy to establish this sort of thing- especially with people who had never had the experience of a real listener. But she thought Calley seemed like a patient well meaning guy. He didn't start off their meeting by shooting his mouth off and making accusations or demands. He was keeping his pride in tact, but he wasn't letting it blow out of proportion either. These were all things to be commended and she made a mental note to let him know how well he was doing at some point during the session.

She sat eagerly awaiting his response with a calm and welcoming face trying to imagine what it would be like to be a young boy who often felt the safest in the form of a cat.

Raina was a little taken aback by Calley's "no". Honestly, if he needed a few sessions this would make things difficult but by the light fidgeting here and there and the glazed look in his eyes from obviously thinking things out in quite detail- there may never be another session. She relaxed in her seat and leaned back.

"That's a lot." she commented. "But I've seen the students here handle a lot. Carry and even juggle a lot. This is your first visit to me." she paused. "Some people have to come for regular sessions. This shows me you're pretty good at juggling and handling things as they pop up. You're only here right now because one too many things have been thrown into the mix I think. More than you can handle. It's overwhelming an really effecting your emotions and how safe you feel." she decided now was a good time to add her observations from earlier "but even in stress like this you carry yourself well, Calley. Some students would come here raging even using their powers on my poor little office demanding answers and a fix to their problem. So I think... maybe we just need to talk about a few things. A few of the really big things and see how we can put our heads together to help you feel better and confident about them. I think you'll find that once we start handling the big things everything else is going to start handling itself or become much easier. Handling these big things can make a person feel really good about themselves and make you grow too."

Most of the time Raina didn't handle anything. She gave the student the tools to handle what they thought was big or impossible themselves. Once they started "driving with the training wheels" many were anxious to stop counseling and try riding on their own- checking in with her periodically as they needed or saw fit.

She was being sincere and honest in her observations of Calley, it wasn't just something to get him to trust her or like her or anything. She wanted him to sit and realize that he has been doing a good job so far. He just needed a support for a bit. Everyone does. And that's what a team does. They support each other.

"So let's talk about your brother." she piped up. "Tell me a bit about Slate. I met him once. He only talks to you when he needs you? Can you tell me a bit about that?"

there were obviously a lot of other things Raina wanted to touch on... but she thought if she started pulling on the right strings the whole blanket would unravel.

Raina listened hard to try and make sense of things. There seemed to be holes but she wasn't going to prod. Telling her this much seemed to be hard enough for Calley. Though as things started getting really interesting she had to refrain from showing any sort of reaction or adding comments. She was apparently really out of the loop. She didn't know Slate had taken over the Kabal... but then again she hadn't had as many runnins with the Kabal as she had with the sanctuary. They were a distant fact she kept tucked away in her mind.

"My brother doesn't talk to me much either." she said after thinking her approach through. "funny enough, his powers are grounded in the mind as well. Though he's such a doofus you'd never guess." she grinned. "He can tell people to do. Pretty much anything. And they have to do it. He's very different from me as well." she thought this next part through carefully. "Does it bother you that your brother took over the Kabal? Some students who stay at the mansion affiliate themselves with the mansion's core beliefs. The Kabals are different from ours. Having your brother take over the Kabal may be a bit of a shocker for you as to how different you really are. But then again, many students make up their own minds and have their own set of beliefs- the mansion is just a platform for exploring that" she didn't want to assume that Calley's beliefs corresponded with that of the mansion. But if they did, even somewhat- it could provide a clue as to why Slate's leaving was causing so much distress for Calley.

"As far as the math goes... I can sort of relate. I'm not exactly strong..." she said flexing a skinny white arm with a grin. "And Naveed can lift a lot. It's not exactly the same as your situation but when Naveed and I stopped spending so much time with each other I felt weaker. So I had to gain my own confidence and rely on him less. We can take you out of the advanced classes if you'd like. It's not as big a deal as you'd think to shift back to regular classes- even if it's only for a while. But if you'd still like to tackle them I can see about getting you a tutor- though I'd have to make one note about that so I remember to do it." she winked. Her to-do list was steadily growing.

"But from what you've told me so far it sounds like you and Slate really relied on eachother and worked together even when you didn't get a long. Now Slate is going off on his own direction being independent and you may not always agree with his priorities..." she worded that part carefully so that it was open to his own interpretation. "You're feeling a bit of a void because he was so much a part of you it's almost like losing an arm or a leg! And it seems to me that right now you're not sure how to compensate for that. And-" she added "it sounds like you're feeling a bit used here. Slate only talks to you when he needs your ability. I've got a few ideas for how we can handle some of these things, but I want to make sure I've got it right. Does that sound right so far?"

Raina often saw this in siblings. One would have a distinctively stronger personality than the other and sometimes kids felt like they were in their siblings shadow or that they weren't as useful. It was almost always a case of showing the person how much they already had and encouraging them to not be ashamed of having a different personality than their sibling- that it wasn't wrong and that they could really come into their own and be strong and distinctive in their own right.

She wasn't sure if all that would actually help Calley... but she had a feeling it was a similar principal.

OK, things were starting to get going here. Raina was a bit worried that she might not be able to keep it all in order without writings things down, but she was determined to at least get Calley going in the right direction.
“What does your brother look like?”

"Like an idiot." laughed Raina. "Honestly, I love my brother. But he's about as neanderthal as they come. He's a wee bit taller than you, long dark hair, and skin that tans no matter what the weather. But trust me if you met him you'd know." she thought for a moment then gave a shrug and added. "the secret is to not look him in the eyes. He's got more power over people then. But he works as hard as he can to not order people around. He's just a bit of a doofus." she laughed

She reached for the notepad and under where she'd scratched 'Calley' she wrote the date and added 'tutor'. Then she pulled the paper loose from the binding and tacked it to the bulletin board next to her. There was a whole pile of tacked notes. One said "Gabe-April-trainee training" another said "Mir- full moon- danger room" while another said "Star- vet- flea treatment". There were a few newspaper scraps around as well- articles that interested her, about the aquarium, about mutant rights, even about Luke!

She listened to everything he had to say about the Kabal, the mansion, and his experience killing a man. She nodded and added "I see" and "yes" here and there but waited in a moment of silence a considerable amount of time before speaking again. Obviously it wasn't the Kabal's belief system that was bothering Calley per-say... it was the mansion. Finally after thinking it through Raina spoke up, "I completely understand, and share in your frustration." Raina had many run ins with Emerald... and her own ideas of what was right often deviated from the group.

"It can be hard in a group of such diverse people that are all fighting for equality to agree." she began "that;s no excuse for the behaviour that happens here some times..I honestly don't know a whole lot about the Kabal ... But if we use something like the Sanctuary as an example... it's almost like a dictatorship. As a member of the Sanctuary you don't really get a say, you can try doing what you want... but in the end you do what Syn wants or leave... unless she's got something worse planned for you. At the mansion we want to encourage people to have their own thoughts, to follow what they think is right... to be a democracy. But without someone to say "this is what we will do. We will only do things this way. or This is what's right, only this" everything is open to interpretation and persuasion. It can be chaotic. It can be more damaging than good. But at the end of the day it's still freedom... I don't know what the Kabal is like- if it's like the Sanctuary where one idea has to fit all or if it's like the Mansion where we struggle to juggle many ideas..." she wasn't sure at this point if she was thinking this through as she went or explaining her own system of beliefs. "I don't agree with many things that happen here... but the nice thing about the mansion is that if you don't agree then you don't have to partake. I don't have any clear answers unfortunately for you on that one Calley... but the fact that things feel so unstable to you here... and seem so stable for Slate at the Kabal could be attributing to some resentfulness." She'd come back to the mansion issues. To be honest, he wasn't the first person to bring it up. It was a growing concern for Raina. One all the experience in the world wasn't helping her tackle.

That was it- she named what she felt was happening here. "People think the word resent is bad. You resent your bother for leaving, for causing you to have trouble with math, for only calling you when he needs help, and maybe for having a life more organized and clearer than your own. But we can learn from resent, use it as a tool to power ourselves and refine... "

Now she was coming for the big one. "So tell me about the men you killed Calley. You don't feel guilty... but do you feel like you should be punished?"

She really needed to get to the root of this one. "You say the men were 'bad' does that help you to justify what was done?"

Luke had just been through something similar. He killed someone while trying to save Raina. She felt it a bit ironic that she was helping Calley deal with the death he caused while the death caused by her boyfriend was still an elephant in the room.

Raina watched for any sign of interest from Calley. He was smiling and politely waiting his turn to speak- that was more than she got from most of the mutants here.... but that whole "I'm not getting the whole story" thing was really scraping at her insides. He seemed almost indifferent. He wasn't arguing with her, but he didn't seem to be agreeing with her. She wondered if she was doing the right thing, handling this in the right way.... she didn't want to make it worse.

"I bet bats felt like freaks." she commented nonchalantly. "They think the first bats had sails instead of wings... they could coast down from tree tops... but had to climb back up. I'm sure the first one to fly was an outcast." she left it at that. She wasn't going to argue with him- she of all people couldn't. Just last year she followed a phony add to become a human! And for what- Rupert? No, she wouldn't argue at all. But just because they were freaks didn't mean they had any less right to survive.

"It sounds like you don't have a clear idea in your head of what is good and what is bad." she added. "Though, I think the idea of who's the good one and who's the bad one when it comes to killing has plagued humanity since it's birth. Look at Cain and Able? And what about Judas... was he bad for betraying Jesus? Or Good for doing exactly what Jesus wanted and what God created him to do." she shrugged.

"You did these things Calley... and you can't take them back. Not ever. You're the one who has to decide how you're going to live with it if at all. I can't tell you some magic advice that will make it all clearer to you. I think the only way you're going to deal with this is to have some sort of a plan for how you're going to deal with it if you're faced with the decision in the future." He looked tired and worn.

"I think you need a break." she observed. "We've been here just over an hour now and I think you've made great progress. These things aren't the kind of things you can solve in one session if they can be solved at all. But I think you've got the right tools to put a few things in perspective."

She stood up and went to the small faucet in the corner of the room and with the utmost care poured through a water filter a glass of water and doing her best not to shake or spill came back to her desk and placed it in front of Calley. "I'm giving you some home work." she announced. "It's up to you if you do it- but if you decide you'd like to see me again, I'd like you to at least think about it."

She sat back down in the office chair and looked across at him. "First of all, I'll arrange for a tutor- your teacher will give you all the details once they're arranged. I want you to really think about if these advance courses are something you want to do and if they are I think the tutor should help." she glanced up at her list of things to do. She had a few professionals in mind she thought could help. "Next Calley, I want you to think of one person that you know, anyone that if push came to shove besides your brother, that you could talk to these things about. I'm not saying you have to tell them anything, and I'm not saying that should you ever decide to talk to them that they'd have to know your whole life story... but I really want you to think if you did talk to someone- who would it be and why? I think there's a lot of people here who can relate to some degree with what you're going through. It'll never be completely we all live lives that are too different for someone to know exactly what it's like for us... but I know there are students out there that have similar concerns as you, who have been through similar situations, and can relate."

She stood up from her chair and gave him her card with her cell phone and e-mail on it. "Contact me if you have any concerns, need help, or want another appointment." she said "But I'd like it if you took this seriously even if you disagree with me. Just really think- if you had to talk to someone- who would it be any why?"