If I Get It All Down On Paper (solo)

Rebecca shifted to a third new position in an attempt to rest comfortably on her bed. This time, she was flat on her stomach, her arms extended in front of her holding her notebook.

Try as she might, she could only stay comfortable for a few minutes before having to readjust herself. She switched out of her pajamas into equally lazy sweats. After the busy night of the sleepover and the confusing morning with Agnes, Rebecca was content with remaining in her room for the day.

The other problem she was running into was in her hands; an empty notebook page. More accurately, the empty page and the twelve pages of scratched out words and scribbles. She was suffering from painful writer's block, with so many thoughts racing through her mind and no words to trap them in.

She had tried writing a sonnet, but her brain was too scattered to work with a rigid rhyme scheme and iambic pentameter. What was she going to write about?

She could write about the confusion she was feeling about her own sexuality. She could go with being a terrible friend and putting Agnes in a difficult position by tempting her. She could write about how terrified she was about the idea of going on a date with a boy.

She took a deep breath and tried to clear her mind and figure out what she would focus on. With her mind becoming a more peaceful place, a picture formed. She imagined Agnes, but not in the way she expected. She saw the insectoid girl with two nameless parents as they pressed burning metal to her skin. The Agnes of her mind screamed out in pain, and a tear formed in the corner of Rebecca's eye, dripping down her cheek.

The idea that some mutants were treated like that every day put rage in her heart. Agnes was an amazing young woman, and for her to suffer through such torture because of the ignorance of hateful people, Rebecca knew there was something wrong with the world.

Rebecca wanted to make the world a better place for Agnes and mutants like her. Things needed to change, and she wanted a way to be part of it.

Her thoughts wandered to an old conversation with Gina on her first day in America. Since that day, Rebecca had worked to learn more about the X-Men. Despite public mixed response and occasionally animosity, she liked what she saw. They appeared to be known for countering mutant threats and threats to mutants, and fought under the banner of equality for mutants and humans alike.

Rebecca looked down at her empty paper, moved into a sitting position, cross-legged with her, and put pen to paper once more.

There is a princess surrounded in flowers,
And she has rule over my heart.
She makes her home in a hidden garden,
For the world has left her broken.
She has been burned by life before,
And she hides her scars in shame.
She would never believe it,
But in each scar, I see her strength;
Broken but noble,
Branded but beautiful.
There is a princess hiding in the flowers,
And she will never know it,
But she has rule over my heart.
Her heart is not mine to keep,
But I will heal it.
For the world has left her broken,
And I will fix the world.
I will take up arms in revolution,
Until the day she no longer hides,
Until the day there is no longer
A princess hiding in the flowers.

Rebecca reread the poem, then once more, then a third time through, each time changing words, discarding sentences and reordering pieces of the poem. By the time she was done, she had to rewrite the entire poem on the next page of the notebook.

It was not the best thing she had ever written, but it was what she needed to write. She closed the notebook and tossed it at her desk. She rested on her back, staring up at the ceiling. Rebecca would move past her crush on Agnes, but what was more important to her now would be making sure no one had to go through what Agnes went through. She wanted a world where Agnes would not have to feel any shame or regret because of who she was.

She would find out what it would take to join the X-Men. Whatever it was, she would do it.