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Vanessa dropped a bomb on Booker. It did not compare to anything she shared with him before because she did not hang onto anything else for almost a decade. When she realized she was trans, Vanessa told Booker in less than a month. The parental letters were obviously a fresh point of stress, but those were only a secret for a few months. The news of her mutation was unprecedented, and it was unfair to think Booker would be able to handle the news and move past it quickly.

It was unfair, but Vanessa was still hoping Booker would just understand. She could not justify lying about herself for so long, but she did have a reason, however misguided it might have been. Vanessa feared her mutation would drive people away, but she should have known better: the lie would push Booker away long before her genetics.

When Booker turned away, telling her he needed space, Vanessa felt numb from head to toe. She was detached from the situation because, otherwise, she would have to deal with the pain of possibly driving away the most important person in her life. Booker was her only family, and she let her fear cause a lie to snowball for years. She wanted to believe Booker would take time and eventually understand and forgive her, but that was optimistic thinking. It was just as likely and honestly justified that Booker could move out, needing space from his terrible kid sister. It would have been a kick in the teeth because she would know it was her fault he was gone.

Vanessa immediately understood where Booker was going. When he needed to breathe, he needed somewhere open and away from people where he could process outside of the apartment. The roof was the best place to catch some fresh air and look out at the city for some perspective. Initially, Vanessa was worried about Booker going up to the roof amidst his most negative feelings, but he promised her fears were unfounded and she trusted him.

Of course, she should have trusted him more, evidently.

As much as Vanessa hated dealing with the looming feeling that Booker was never going to talk to her again, she understood it was important not to follow him. He needed time to think and Vanessa gave him plenty to think about. She had to be patient or she would only make things worse.

Vanessa was not good at patience and hated the cloud of dread following her around the apartment, so she filled her time by cooking.

---

It was hard to know how much time had passed since Booker went to the roof because time was a hazy concept when one was miserable. Vanessa could only hope the answer was “enough.” She opened the door to the near-abandoned party area and saw her brother there in all his solitude.

Since she had spent her downtime cooking, Vanessa thought it only made sense to bring the fruits of her labor with her. In this case, those fruits were actually tacos. Specifically, she had a large plate of fish tacos with refried black beans, pico de gallo, salsa verde, and guacamole. She knew what she did could not be fixed with food, but when did food ever hurt?

”Hey Book?” she began cautiously. ”I brought some dinner…”

In an effort to maintain a work-life balance, Vanessa had to make a conscious effort to have… well, a life. It was tricky, because there were stipulations to doing it right. Life could not just be “Gina,” (as tempting as that might sound at times,) so Vanessa needed to make time for friends. The second problem was how many of her friends came from the “work” side of her equation. So really, Vanessa was trying to maintain a work-work friends-love life-life balance. Somewhere along the lines of human development, socializing became too complex for its own good.

Vanessa did have friends outside of work, but they were not plentiful and she had dated a surprising number of them. She wanted a girls’ night out without the risk of attempted flirting, and she was fortunate enough to have one good friend in her Contacts that fit the bill perfectly.

Well, “perfectly” was a stretch. If Winnie fit the bill perfectly, Vanessa would not be standing outside The Bonus Level checking her phone for an update. The plan was Vanessa’s kind of lowkey: the two women would find a couch in the video game bar to claim, order some deliciously unhealthy bar appetizer along with plenty of overpriced alcohol, and get worked up into a collective competitive tizzy over video games. It was not a new plan, but it was a reliable recipe for a fun night and Vanessa was dressed appropriately.

Opening up her Messenger app, Vanessa pulled up the chat window with “KiWinnie,” knowing Winnie would threaten her bodily harm for using that name in her phone.



If she learned one lesson with The POW Block Party, it was never too early to start antagonizing her rival. No one was more fun to annoy than Winnie, and despite all her objections and swearing, she would always be there to bear it and toss it back at Vanessa. They were too sarcastic and bitter not to be friends.

Vanessa loved having a girlfriend again. She would say she was not the type of girl who needed a girlfriend, but historically, she had a habit of seeking out relationships. Since her transition, she seemed to spend more time in relationships than not. Maybe it was a way to seek validation or maybe she just really liked having a constant make-out partner. She had toxic dating habits, but she was working on it.

Gina was the perfect girlfriend to learn how to be part of a healthy relationship. They were not codependent, they were taking things slow, and they had lives apart from one another. It was a healthy change of pace that took some adjusting.

Of course, some of those things were helped along by the unfortunate fact that the two young women struggled to find time to spend together. Vanessa worked a full-time job, but for the most part, she managed a work-life balance outside of the POW Block Party. Gina was a tougher case due to her impressive course load and her volunteering at the Mansion. Vanessa admired her girlfriend and they made sure to text constantly, but she would be lying if she pretended the lack of girlfriend time was disappointing.

Still, every time she heard her phone pop with simulated fireworks, her heart fluttered and she grabbed it quickly to enjoy the little moments of her day she could fill with Gina. The text messages were nice on their own, but her eyes lit up when she saw the message she had been hoping for.



Vanessa was grinning like an idiot. She loved the way Gina called her babe. It felt so effortless.





That was what Vanessa had been hoping for. She was already collecting stray game cases and tossing throw pillows from the floor back onto the couch. Her work day had ended early enough for her to get home, so she had been making a snack when her phone caught her attention. She had plenty of time to offer to Gina, and she was excited to do so.



There, that did not sound desperate at all! With that out of the way, Vanessa resumed cleaning the apartment in preparation of her favorite guest.

---

The apartment was sufficiently clean, sweet potato fries were almost ready to come out of the oven, and Vanessa found some time to get changed. She wore a flowy yellow top with flutter sleeves with a pair of cutoffs and her hair pulled back with a black headband. While she knew Gina would not care one way or another, Vanessa did take an opportunity to freshen up her makeup.

Vanessa felt herself perk up when she heard a light knocking on her door. She forced herself not to run to the door, because she was a totally patient, mature adult, but her steps were noticeably quicker than her “leisurely walk” setting.

She pulled open the door to receive confirmation that Gina had, in fact, arrived, and her whole face lit up. Before she even thought to say anything, she tossed her arms around Gina’s shoulders and gave her a kiss. Nothing hot and heavy, but definitely longer than a peck. Every day they went without seeing one another, the more Nessa missed those kisses, so she usually made up for the absence with her greeting.

She pulled away smiling. ”Nice to see you, stranger,” she said teasingly, before the cool skin against hers registered and caused her brow to furrow. ”Oh, wow, you’re cold! Get in here!” Vanessa’s arms slipped back over Gina’s shoulders, but her hands grabbed Gina’s wrists along the way so she could walk backward, pulling Gina into the apartment. The furrowed brow and accompanying pout did not last long, of course; she had Gina back, so how could she not smile?

Take all the time you need, hun! <3 Focus on getting yourself back to full speed.

With her words out in the open, Vanessa could only watch Gina’s eyes to occupy the silence her laughter left behind. It was a lot to think about, and Vanessa should have looked away, but if she did that, the waiting would feel like hours.

She wore a slight smile as she watched Gina consider everything, trying not to give too much away. She really pinched her arm. Too cute. They were both evidently still coming to the realization that yes, that all really happened. Gina wanted to say yes and she wanted to kiss Vanessa, which filled her with more confidence.

And then Rebecca’s name flashed through Gina’s thoughts and Vanessa felt her stomach sink. It had been the reason she had steered clear until they crossed paths in the mall. Some girls said there was no “code” in the queer community when it came to avoiding exes; the pool was too small to limit further, or something like that. Still, Gina was obviously going to consider it. She was Gina; possibly the nicest person Vanessa had ever known.

There was also the thought that a breakup could ruin a wonderful friendship. It was comforting to see they both shared the same fears. Still, was there any relationship made without a risk like that?

Before Gina could even think the word yes, it was passing her lips. Vanessa was elated, realizing her risk had been rewarded and she suddenly found herself nestled up to her new girlfriend. She wrapped her arms tightly around Gina’s shoulders, pulling her in for a hug. ”Good. Then as your girlfriend,” she said, moving herself back toward the proximity of Gina’s lips, ”I propose we should be the kind of obnoxious couple that makes out happily under the fireworks.”

Vanessa pulled Gina in for a string of kisses she hoped would never end. It was a decidedly happy Fourth of July for two girls sharing a blanket on a beach.

Vanessa was an idiot. A dumb idiot. The kind of idiot who ruined a wonderful night by getting greedy and presumptuous. Her eyes were focused on the sky as explosions lit up the night with vibrant colors and patterns. It was beautiful in theory, but Vanessa was too preoccupied to fully appreciate the display. They were just a means of not looking at Gina, who clearly thought she was forward or crazy for jumping to conclusions. Her mind was churning, trying to think of a logical escape plan. If she just walked out into the ocean and kept walking until she was officially lost in the Atlantic Ocean, that might be a far enough to outdistance her embarrassment. She just had to remember to leave the keys so Sophy could get home from the beach.

>> "Hey, Nessa?"

Gina’s voice drew Vanessa out of her own thoughts. She had spaced out while Gina evidently grabbed her cut-offs, since the article of clothing had moved to her side. Vanessa’s body was tense, wondering how the other woman would answer her pathetic display.

The last thing Vanessa expected was to be staring at a lone arcade ticket in Gina’s outstretched hand. She had to sort through the nervous thoughts in her head before she realized Gina was offering her “one ticket redeemable for anything.” The dots were still not connecting, but reality was slowly finding Vanessa as she realized Gina’s voice was tinted with the same nerves she was experiencing.

Looking up, Vanessa noticed the most significant change that happened while she was in her own little world: Gina’s glasses were away from her eyes. The grey girl’s thoughts were clearly on display as they locked eyes. She was trying to work toward asking for something, and she was convinced her request was dumb. What request?Vanessa thought in frustration, but telepathic communication was sadly not in her skillset. All she could do was sit in heightened anticipation, waiting for Gina to put together the words so she could ask for…

A kiss.

A kiss! Gina wanted a kiss! Had she ever received a request she longed to fulfil as much as that one? She doubted it. Vanessa could feel her heart like the rat-a-tat-tat of a machine gun in her chest. They were both nervous because they both wanted more and that was the first thing to make her less nervous and more excited.

Gina looked away, but Vanessa smiled, reaching for a soft grey cheek through a head of corkscrew curls. She gently pulled Gina back to face her and, wordlessly, Vanessa pressed against Gina’s lips.

The kiss was tender and Gina’s lips were soft and full and fit perfectly between her own. Bursts of fireworks bathed them in reds and greens and purples, and Vanessa was certain her heart was mimicking them in its own joyous burst.

They eventually pulled away, but Vanessa did not go far. She pressed her forehead against Gina’s, careful of her horns. Her lips curled into a smile, still close enough to brush against Gina’s lips with every minute move. ”Can we do this again?” she asked, giddiness in her voice. ”Like, a lot? And often? A-as girlfriends?” And it was out there. Vanessa could not take the request back and she was sure she did not want to anyway.