>> “Mhmm…I wasn't about to send her home alone, as drunk as we were.”

It was a reasonable explanation, and one that Agnes wouldn’t have expected less from when it came to her sister. Gina was a good person, she had a sweet soul, despite her somewhat demonic looking appearance. All she ever wanted to do was help people and live in a world of sunshine and rainbows. Agnes was impressed that by, constantly, especially considering all the bad things that had happened to her sister, the trials that she faced, the pains that she suffered, and through all of it her demeanor never changed. She truly was an impressive woman.

Of course she would offer Nessa her bed. They both had gotten pretty plastered and given the fact that they would probably both want to ensure that they were in a safe place for the night, why not bunk together? It was perfectly like Gina to want to do such a thing. It almost made her feel a little bad, knowing that same night, while the two were drunk together, she and Rebecca were coiled until the sheets of a hotel bed.

The thought made Agnes blush a little before the crushing weight of guilt once more settled atop of her head. God this was awkward. She didn’t want to talk about her sundry affair, but rather about her and Gina. She wanted to just be a sister right now, not a dishonest woman. But wasn’t this the sort of thing to talk to a sibling about?

She closed her eyes, hanging her head a little bit. She couldn’t look Gina in the eye. If she had been trying to prove that she was innocent of anything, it certainly flew out the window. She must have looked so guilty at this point that Gina’s next question was fairly inevitable.

>>“Aggs…Were you and Becca seeing each other? Like… beforehand?”

She sucked in a breath. Though Gina was in no way judging her (at least verbally) Agnes could still feel her eyes boring into her. She wouldn’t look up, not yet, if she did she would probably burst into tears. However, every passing second only continued to seal her guilt. She was guilty, she knew it, there was no talking about it, no proclamations that what she and Becca had was true love would absolve it. She was a cheater….that was it…through and through.

Lifting her head, Agnes sniffled, took a cleansing breath and finally rested her crystalline eyes upon her sister. Mutely, at first, she confirm with the soft and gentle nod of her head. She let that hang in the air for a second before she placed her elbows on the table and cradled her face between them. After a second she pulled her hands away, wiping away the miniscule tears from the corners of her eyes. She had to come clean now.

”We’re…seeing eachother now…” she said softly. ”Before that night…” she shrugged. ”…it…it was just one time. But…” she nodded her head again. ”…yes. W-We carrying on an…affair…now.”

The silence crashed around the little cafe table, each moment driving the point home. Perhaps idly Gina had hoped that Nessa was lying-- it'd be easier to accept that a friend's ex was spitefully trying to drive a rift between the gargoyle and one of her dearest friends from high school. It'd be easier to believe that, in one act of relational sabotage and a final cosmic F-you to Becca, Nessa had chosen to stir drama up between the two people closest to her.

Agnes finally looked at Gina, looking pitiful and sniffling and nodding almost imperceptibly in admonition. Yes. They had been cheating. If any anger had churned in the gargoyle's chest, it dissipated when she noticed how absolutely miserable Agnes looked, as they exchanged glances. It didn't stop the exasperation from reaching Gina's eyes.

"Oh my god," the gargoyle whispered, rubbing her eyes in disbelief. She refused to. She couldn't.

>> ”We’re…seeing eachother now… Before that night… it…it was just one time. But… yes. W-We carrying on an… affair… now.”

Gina continued rubbing her face, at a loss for words.

"Aggs," Gina groaned, after an eternity of seeming to attempt to reshape her own face with her bare hands, "What the f**k."

That was the only remark that seemed to simmer forth, the most apt way to summarize her disbelief and disapproval all at once. What. The. F**k. Obviously it was not a sentiment that Gina-prime would have freely voiced... but just as anyone, Gina had changed over the course over the numerous years that she and Agnes had been apart. Whether this was for better or for worse was open to debate.

Gina took another sip of her mocha, which had now cooled to a manageable, but still warm, temperature. She let the silence linger a moment before remarking, with a somewhat disingenous half-laugh, "I was kinda hoping that Nessa had been lying about you guys, you know... it'd be easier to believe. 'Jealous ex tries to sabotage ex's best friends via false rumors'... Jesus."

More face rubbing. It was though Gina was trying to come to terms with this new information by rubbing it into her pores.

"Does River know?" the gargoyle pried. No use beating around the bus, now that the elephant in the room had been acknowledged. If River was aware, that would explain the "break", if not...

Gina made no indication of her position, and wouldn't until Agnes explained further-- her body language seemed exasperated, but indicated no opinion otherwise.

>> "Oh my god,"

The look that she had received from Gina just killed Agnes down to her core. Knowing that she had disappointed her sister so firmly was something that made her want to throw up. God, what was she doing? Becca was good about explaining their situation, enough to the point that Agnes almost didn’t feel bad. Even when she was completely by herself she could rationalize that it was the smart move. River wasn’t happy. She wasn’t happy her relationship with her. Why shouldn’t two people who actually could be happy together, not be together?

But therein lies the problem. Where does it stop? Where does rationalizing just become lying to ones self. No matter how it was painted, Agnes was a cheater – again. She was cheating on her fiancé with her former girlfriend, someone who was already in a relationship. She was free now, of course, but when they started she certainly wasn’t. It was only one time, at first, but the second time had been when Rebecca and Nessa were supposed to firmly be in a relationship. How could that be thought of as anything but bad?

Agnes held her breath, waiting for the shoe to fall. Gina was just rubbing her face, almost as if trying to wake up from a nightmare. There was nothing Agnes could do but stare down at the table, wringing her hands nervously. She screwed up. She screwed up big time.

>> "Aggs,..What the f**k."

Her eyes widened. Gina was in her twenties and yet, still, Agnes had never expected such language from her sister. Was she really the cause of it? Was this the first time that Gina actually cursed in history? She didn’t think so but, still, it was that surprising to hear. Nibbling on her bottom lip, she closed her eyes, feeling the tears want to well up. Goddammit…what was she doing?

”Gina…” she said meekly but was interrupted when her sister continued on her rant.

>> "I was kinda hoping that Nessa had been lying about you guys, you know... it'd be easier to believe. 'Jealous ex tries to sabotage ex's best friends via false rumors'... Jesus."

She sighed, clenching her jaw. Every word stung as deeply as they possibly could. She wanted to explain, she really did. About River and her treatment of her, about how her fiancée had gotten hooked on M and was away for rehab. About how Rebecca was the love of her life and that they ended their relationship way too soon way back when. But would any of it matter? Would any of it actually change Gina’s mind about her?

Of course, the subject of Gina’s mind was a mystery to Agnes. She cautiously looked up, watching her sister. Her tail was swaying, curiously (maybe a little dangerously?), but her face seemed as passive as ever. She honestly couldn’t tell if she were upset or saddened or all of it at once. All Agnes knew was that she didn’t like that look and she wanted it to end – either forgiving her or hating her, at least it would be done.

>>"Does River know?"

Agnes curled her lips under her teeth. Sucking in a breath she lifted her gaze to Gina and quietly shook her head. ”No…”. In another life, in a stronger willed Agnes Nicholas, she could have pointed out that that was the point of an affair, that one or both other parties didn’t know, but Agnes wasn’t about to do that. ”She…suspects…something is wrong…” She said gently. ”…but I…I haven’t confirmed. She…She’s going through a lot right now,” she said mysteriously. ”…I can’t do that to her. Not…not yet…”

The gargoyle interrupted her face-rubbing to take another long sip of her mocha. Once consumed, she breathed a sigh-- both regaining her breath and mulling over what Agnes was saying. River suspected something but didn't know exactly what was going-on. And Agnes couldn't tell her because "she was going through a lot".

"Aggs," the gargoyle groaned. She fully understood the wanting to handle the collateral. Hell, in the few break-ups Gina had experienced, she did her best to let them down gently, too. She had even managed to keep a few of her ex's around as friends, but... well, she never cheated-on any of those ex's.

"Is she getting help?" the gargoyle asked gently. That was the social work major side of her speaking. If someone was going through a lot, whatever that entailed, they needed help. She took another sip of her mocha, cradling the mug in her hands. There was maybe a sip or two left in the mug. The gargoyle rocked her hands back and forth, causing the mocha to swirl around in the mug. Part of her was inclined to keep venting, but truth be told... they were still in a cafe, and Agnes was still her sister, and Gina felt like she was being fairly overt about her opinions of the whole thing. Though she wasn't saying anything, her reactions and body language communicated surprise and disappointment.

"You need to tell her," the gargoyle reiterated. She was sure her sister knew that, "You owe her that. When the time's right."

How could Agnes disrespect River like that? Sure, River hadn't exactly been the nicest person at Gina's birthday party... but no one deserved to be betrayed like that. It was totally selfish. Gina took another sip of mocha, letting a silence settle there. How did you move-on from a revelation like that? Returning to small talk felt so... disingenuous. The gargoyle realized that her gaze had fixated on a spot on the floor. She let her eyes wander back to Agnes.

>> "Aggs,"

God the way that she said her name, it was like having a dagger shoved directly into her heart. The disappointment and the sadness in that single half-name was enough to make Agnes want to throw herself out of a window. She really wished she could justify her actions, hope that her sister would have understood, but that was asking for way too much. The violinist knew that. Gina was a good and honest person, one who would never cheat on anyone and probably didn’t have the capacity for it. Agnes had hoped she could be that but consider this was the second time she had cheated on something, it was clearly impossible for her.

She couldn’t have felt lower or cheaper. This wasn’t what a good person did. This was what one of those bitchy girls on the TV dramas did. These were the actions of those people whom Agnes would make fun of in books or TV shows and despised without real cause. If characters could feel, she was getting a glimpse of what it was like to be judged thusly.

Oh, she knew her sister was trying, but a combination of the look in her eyes, the tone of her voice, and Agnes’ own self-loathing were already bubbling to the surface and completing a rather harsh judgement on herself. She wanted to crawl into a hole and that point and just wait for the darkness to encroach upon her, sealing her off from the rest of the world.

In essence, she felt like garbage.


>>"Is she getting help?"

Gina was inquiring, trying to keep lines of communication open. Agnes breathed a heavy breath, still not looking upon the face of the younger gargoyle. ”She…was…” she whispered. There was really no point in keeping things hidden, was there? ”She self-checked into rehab while she was gone for those months. Checked herself out. Difficult, but she’s managing as best she can.” She placed her chin into her hand as she stared down at the table. ”I’m trying…but…I…I don’t know what else to do for her.”

She hated talking about River like this. The River she knew when they were touring was amazing, and fiery, and just fun to be with. The River she was not was nowhere near that. It was as if all those bad qualities had been amplified the second they got to New York. The jabs, the frustration, the irritation, the jealousy, all of it just continued to pile onto itself with no end in sight. Some would think that Agnes was right to run into the arms of someone who actually cared, but morally it was still wrong.

>>"You need to tell her…You owe her that. When the time's right."

Agnes nodded. In truth she always was going to tell River when they were done, but getting to that point seemed so far away and terrifying to achieve. But there it was. Someone knew about the affair and they clearly didn’t care for it. Agnes wouldn’t have expected them to, if she were being honest, but it was difficult holding onto a secret like this for so long and not telling anyone. For the briefest of moments she understood why Rebecca told her mother, but to be fair and she received from slight praise from it. The method wasn’t cared for but Rebecca’s mother had always loved the two girls together. Now that they were heading back in that direction, she could somewhat understand and appreciate it.

Her shoulders slumped. She knew she shouldn’t have said anything. Wiping a tear from the corner of her eye, still unable to look at her sister or her disappointed face, Agnes decided it was probably best to leave. Really, she couldn’t take being looked at in that manner anymore and she doubted Gina would be able to move post the news any time soon. So, pushing her drink away, Agnes muttered more to the table top than her actual sister as she started to gather her things.

”I’m sorry,” she said softly. ”I…It’s probably best for me to just go.” She didn’t want to leave. She loved Gina, always will. But right now she couldn’t have felt lower and that certainly didn’t make for good company.

The corners of Gina’s eyes pinched—not in a smile, but in grave understanding. Her mouth tugged at one side. Rehab. At least that was “help”, but that meant that some sort of substance abuse was at play, and that type of thing was never easy. She couldn’t even bring herself to say anything when Agnes confessed that she didn’t know what to do. Gina was in no position to tell Agnes what to do, beyond what she’d already said… and even the gargoyle wasn’t so vindictive as to say, “Be there for her.” That was a no-brainer.

Gina was also inspecting the table, her brain working through the gymnastics of associating with Agnes, Rebecca, and Vanessa. Agnes was her sister, so despite the bumps in the road, the gargoyle would try to make it work. Becca was also a dear friend. But Nessa… Nessa hadn’t done anything wrong, had she? Maybe she had, but Gina wasn’t aware of it—so that meant—well—hanging out with Nessa wasn’t a bad thing. The gargoyle rolled her lips together, the urge to say something churning in her throat. Agnes beat her to the punch. She was gathering her things. She wasn’t finishing her drink?!

>> ”I’m sorry. I…It’s probably best for me to just go.”

Gina also rose—her food, her drink, was finished—there was nothing really tying her to the table anymore. She could respect her sister needing space. That’s just how Agnes was. But she couldn’t just leave like that. Gina was grabbing her bag as Agnes was already making her retreat.

“Agnes!” Gina said urgently, wrestling with the strap that’d gotten stuck to the café chair. She freed the strap and jogged after her sister, “Aggs, hold up!”

When Gina caught up, the two were crossing the threshold to the street. The gargoyle grasped for her sister’s hand, hoping to hold her still for just a moment. She’d let Agnes run, but she’d be damned if her friend ran forever.

“Aggs,” Gina said, straightening herself, “Th- this is gonna… take time for me to process. Okay? A-and yes, I am disappointed, but I know you’ll do the right thing. ‘C-cuz you’re not a bad person. Okay?”

It had to be said. Gina would do anything to make sure her sister didn’t beat herself up too much over this, though they both knew she probably would, at least a little. She probably already was. Gina wrapped her arms around her sister’s waist, constricting her in a hug.

“So I’m gonna let you go,” Gina said… though she wasn’t letting go, yet—she was still holding-on, because she still had things to say, “And give you your space ‘cuz I know you need it.” And maybe Gina needed it, too, but Gina was focusing on her sister, “Just don’t, like, be a stranger. Okay?”

Agnes needed to leave. Maybe it wasn’t the right thing to do but it was the only move that she had left. She didn’t come out today with the idea in mind that she would be going over her sordid love life with her sister, but rather just to have a day out to forget all of it. She didn’t want to think about Rebecca, or River, or the morally wrong thing that she were currently doing to her. It wasn’t fair, Agnes knew that, but something about being around the redhead made her not care. She wanted to be with her, to love her, to plan for the future, and so on. What she didn’t want to do was feel like this anymore.

As much as she loved her sister, her amber-flecked eyes were enough to tear her down from the inside. Gina may not have meant to make her feel bad, but it was a state of being that Agnes simply couldn’t help but feel under her gaze. She made a mistake, one that was indeed judgement worthy, but she didn’t have to stick around under scrutiny.

Quietly, and in a defeated manner, she mentioned that she should leave. Packing up her things and keeping from looking at her sister, Agnes stood up, gathered her bag and carefully brought a tissue to her eye as he beelined for the exit. She was sure that once she stepped outside and had some privacy that she was going to fall apart, but she wouldn’t do that in public. This wasn’t the place for it in any way.

Gina had called out but Agnes stubbornly didn’t stop. She wasn’t in the mood for a lecture or to see the disappointment in her face again. She wasn’t mad at Gina, it was a sh*tty thing that Agnes was doing, but she didn’t want to hear any more about it. Besides, Gina was probably better off not speaking to her for a bit. It was clear that Agnes was just a bad person.

However, just as she reached the threshold, she was stopped by the sensation of a hand gripping hers. She paused, stopping because she didn’t want to pry herself away harshly or anything like that. Instead she just stood there, her back turned to her sister. Slowly she turned herself around, still not meeting her gaze as she instead tried to keep her eyes focused on the ground.

>> “Aggs…Th- this is gonna… take time for me to process. Okay? A-and yes, I am disappointed, but I know you’ll do the right thing. ‘C-cuz you’re not a bad person. Okay?”

She sniffled. She almost didn’t want to hear that she wasn’t a bad person. She needed to feel like she as one, a means of trying to alleviate her guilt by knowing that she was actively suffering. But those words coming from Gina only continued to make her feel sad. She didn’t think she was a bad person, but it wasn’t something she could easily condone either. She understood that, but it still broke her heart.

The hug only started the tears again, but she managed to choke them back. She nodded her head, understanding her sister’s words as she reached around and gave her a weak hug in return.


>>“So I’m gonna let you go,..And give you your space ‘cuz I know you need it…Just don’t, like, be a stranger. Okay?”

”Okay…” she agreed meekly. A soft nod of her head, she released the hug and waited, patiently, for Gina to do the same. When she did, Agnes stepped back, taking Gina’s hands in her own and sharing a very, very soft smile with her. A shaky breath and she reached up, touching her sister’s cheek. ”I’m proud of you.”

Herself? Not so much. With a turn, her iridescent wings gave a little flutter of agitation as she made her way down the street. She needed to get someplace to be alone and just have a good cry. Where? She wasn’t sure. But she’d find somewhere that contained neither Rebecca nor River.