Rebecca needed reassurance that Agnes knew she was around for good. They loved each other and that was not going to stop being true. A more foolish Rebecca doubted that and ran, and look where she ended up anyway. Agnes was who she was always meant to be with and she was done letting the world or her own doubt scare her away.

But had she flip-flopped on the issue one too many times for Agnes not to be gun-shy? She could not get mad at Agnes for being nervous or even having reservations because she gave her reason. The past was the past, but it was hard to forget. Still, Rebecca was selfish, and she selfishly wanted Agnes to trust her in spite of her past transgressions.

The growing buzz deep in Agnes’s chest was a painfully honest answer. The swarm was attuned to Agnes and ready to defend her from the things that might bring her harm. Rebecca knew it well, but she never heard it grow in fervor at her. It stung, realizing she was the biggest looming threat to Agnes. Rebecca’s mouth hung open as she processed the dejection.

She felt foggy as Agnes got up from her seat, trying to cover her mouth and contain the swarm within her. It did not feel real. Things were supposed to finally be falling in place, yet there they were anyway. Could she fix this? The incident with her mother might pass, but they had unintentionally unearthed some greater problems.

They needed to step back. It was undeniable. Hearing Agnes remind her that she did still love her was necessary, because if she had left without a word, it would have torn Rebecca apart. They needed time, but it would not be forever. The timeline was still vague, but Rebecca could not push her luck now. ”Okay.” It was weak, because she was struggling to find her words. ”Bit full disclosure… when Ah gie haem, Jules will see whit happened oan mah face.” She hoped Agnes would understand. She wanted to keep their secret, but she was going to return to her apartment with tears in her eyes. Her best friend was not an idiot, and Rebecca could not keep a secret through her honest tears.

”Aggie… Ah dae loove ye. An Ah… gie why ye may hae yer doobts. Ah dunnae know hoo, but Ah'll fin' a way tae prove it tae ye.” Things were hard again, but this had to be the example she as setting for herself. She could not back away or run. ”Ah'll... see ye suin.”

It was the hardest call that she had ever made but it was one that was inevitable. They were not in a good place right now and that fact was evident from the buzzing that was emitting from her chest. Her swarm were catching onto the fact of just how aggravated Agnes was. There was no really hiding her emotions anymore. She was upset, but not just at Rebecca or at River, but at herself too. She fell into this, she didn’t fight it, and now she was paying the price. Really she should have known better given their history but Agnes was so enamored with being with her real love again that she didn’t allow herself to think straight.

All this was wrong. Neither woman in her life was getting 100% of her and that was unfair to both. River deserved to know the truth and Rebecca shouldn’t be forced to keep these things to herself. It wasn’t fair and Agnes had to put a stop to it.

She collected her things. Just the act of doing so was making it all so much harder to keep her emotions in check. She wavered, feeling herself growing just a little weaker at the prospect of living, but she had to stay just long enough to say something, anything to try and calm the situation. This wasn’t goodbye (unless that was what Rebecca wanted) but it was more just trying to put things on pause. She needed Rebecca to know that she still loved her…but a break was needed. A lot had been dredged up tonight and the only cure for that was spac.e

>> ”Okay…Bit full disclosure… when Ah gie haem, Jules will see whit happened oan mah face.” .

Agnes sighed. Honestly if it had been a few seconds ago, she may have been slightly offended, assuming that there was a barb in there, that Rebecca was being disgruntled with her. But weariness and trying to keep her emotions in check were winning out for irrational thoughts for a change. Not looking at the redhead, Agnes just nodded and meekly whispered a…”Fair enough.”

Nothing else needed to be said. Her clutch collected, her phone in hand, her head hanging down, the brunette turned to go. However, she didn’t get more than a step before Rebecca’s meek and heavily accented voice grabbed her attention. She stopped, not looking at her, and just listened.

>>”Aggie… Ah dae loove ye. An Ah… gie why ye may hae yer doobts. Ah dunnae know hoo, but Ah'll fin' a way tae prove it tae ye… Ah'll... see ye suin.”

More tears welled up. Every second she was feeling worse about this. Not fully because she didn’t believe that Rebecca loved her, but because she felt like crap for making her feel like this. Was she unreasonable? Were her feelings in no way justified? Agnes wished that she had answers to any of these questions, but her mind was only met with silence. A soft sniffle, a breath, and Agnes said the only thing that would come to mind.

”I love you too…”. With that she walked off, leaving before this whole cycle started all over again. A scrutinizing mind would wonder, was that “I love you” a promise, a response, or was it really a good-bye? Even Agnes wasn’t sure at this point, all she knew was that she needed to leave that restaurant and go…anywhere. Probably Haven. They had a room she could occupy for the night, one where she could have the peace to think and cry.