The rift in space and time (mostly space) was officially closed, and yet the effects of it lingered, changing New York City forever. Alternate dimensions were a fact. Doppelgangers were a fact. People have been stuck on both sides, with no way to get home, and lives had been changed forever. And, most importantly, some organizations managed to cross over, and wreak havoc in both worlds. Possibly more.

Having spent the past weeks mostly with personal business, Mirror was back on X-missions, and X-missions, as usual, were a mess. This time it was some third-hand information about a mutant mafia operation, and a clandestine meeting at the New York Palace... a place Mirror had spent her very first night in New York in, and had not visited in any capacity since. Not that anyone would remember, after a near decade. Still, the X-man was extra careful when walking into the stealth mission.

But not careful enough.

It had to be a power of some sort. Any mob boss worth his life collected mutants with useful powers, surveillance among them. The rest went down in seconds. Someone pulled a gun, Maya bolted for the next mirror, then the next, then into the one where someone was anticipating her. The pain in her shoulder blade was sharp, and she swore loudly as she kept running, mirror to mirror, until she cleared the hotel, and then the entire block. She was not sure how far she'd gotten before the blood was was beginning to catch up. Could she make it all the way back to the Mansion? Or at least to a police station? The X-uniform had to be a plus... Thoughts growing fuzzy, Maya paused in a bathroom mirror.

Bathrooms. People kept first aid kits in bathrooms. She would be in and out, and then she'd come back later to compensate them. Right?

The landing was not exactly graceful. She knocked some cleaning supplies over. The door was close, though, and they might not even be home at this time of the day. Maya steadied herself with one hand against the wall as warm blood dripped down her back.

Hopefully there would be bandaids...

Second drawer from the left, and third one down. Behind the paper towels. That's where the gun was.

Why the fuck was there a gun behind his paper towls?

"You paranoid nut job," Rupert complained, and the dog who he refused to call anything as stupid as Flipsy barked in agreement. Or maybe to defend her old master. He didn't speak mini-poodle. "What, did you think someone was going to attack you while you were making your eggs, you--?"

There was a crash from the bathroom.

The bathroom he'd just cleaned. He'd poured chemicals at the tub until all the gunk stains were exocised, he'd cleaned out the cabinet under the sink so the man's industrial-sized first aid kit actually fit, he'd scrubbed that goddamn floor until it was white. The shower curtain was in his laundry basket, the cleaning supplies were on the floor, the toilet seat was down for once in its life. There was nothing in there that could crash. Not under its own power.

He looked down at the mini-poodle arthritically pawing at his sock. She stared back up at him through her gray cataracts, her jaw open in a it wasn't me, dad smile.

Right, then. Rupert pushed the paper towels out of the way, and grabbed the gun. Just a quick check—and of course it was loaded. Why'd he ever suspect anything less.

Socked feet over carpet. He tried not to make any noise until he was at the half-open door, and then he took a deep breath, and slammed it all the way open with his shoulder. Feet braced. Both hands on the gun. Aim at the center of mass, don't be a sucker who gets fancy with headshots.

There was a young woman standing inside. Twenty-two, twenty-three?

A young X-Woman. She was dripping blood on his floor.

The floor he'd just cleaned.

Rupert was done with this universe. He cocked the gun, and kept the woman in his sights and his finger on the trigger. He didn't recognize this one from back home, which meant she could have pretty much any power. He didn't like shooting people, he didn't want to shoot her, but she was an X-Man. He hadn't read up on their exact status over here, but as far as he could tell, this universe wasn't all that different from his. The X-Men were wanted criminals, and they could get damn violent. He'd found, from long experience, that the best way to not get frozen or cold-cocked or dragged off into a friggin mirror—god, that guy/girl/whatever was such a little shit—was to look so close to shooting that doing anything to startle him was going to end up with a hole through somebody.

"Is there a reason," Rupert asked, "that you're bleeding on my floor?"

The poodle trotted in after him, and started wagging its tail at the woman. A right genius, that dog.

First aid kit. Right. And maybe wipe up the blood before she felt? No need to freak someone out. More than necessary.

The door banged open. There was a gun.
There was a Rupert.

Maya staggered back at the first, and stared wide-eyed at the second, while leaning back against the sink.

>>"Is there a reason, that you're bleeding on my floor?"

Holy mother of all déja vu, Flying Fox.

"Sh*t. I'm hallucinating." Maya muttered, blinking. The blood loss had to be worse than she thought. She took a deep, steadying breath, and tried not to focus too much on the gun pointed at her chest. She focused on the man instead.

He was still there.

Also, there was some sniffling and some wagging, and Maya's gaze traveled down.

"... Flipsy?!..."

She wasn't looking too hot. In either sense of the word, actually: 'wearing a large X' just wasn't his type. The bleeding didn't help, either.

>> "... Flipsy?!..."

The poodle pranced at her feet as enthusiastically as an old poodle could prance.

Rupert didn't lower the gun, but he did ease back on the trigger. Just a hair. "You… know the dog. Of course you do."

And it sure seemed liked the dog knew her. Though frankly, Rupert wasn't convinced that the poodle wouldn't be just as happy to see a serial killer.

Was this woman a friend of the other guy's, or an enemy? Or did she just make such a habit of barging into the guy's bathroom that she was on first-name basis with the poodle?

No matter what she was to the other guy, what was she to him? Just because other Rupert was doing something with criminals didn't mean he needed to.

He let out a breath, and kept the gun steady. "Look, that cut looks pretty bad. Why don't you patch yourself up a little; there's a first aid... duffel thing... under the sink. But just so we're clear, you're under arrest."

…Except that he wasn't a cop in this universe. He had an interview on Monday, which was somewhere on the line between bizarre and insulting, but he wasn't in yet. And when and if he got in, it had been made abundantly clear to him that alternate universe seniority wouldn't transfer. There went his shot at early retirement.

"…Citizen's arrest. I don't know what the other Rupert got himself into, but I am not him, and I do not have dealings with wanted criminals."

He gestured at her X-uniform, in case there was any confusion. She knew what she was, and what she'd done, a lot better than he did. She was still young; a couple of years locked away from bad influences might do her some good.

…Speaking of walking. "How'd you get in, anyway? Didn't your mother ever tell you to use the front door?"

>>"You… know the dog. Of course you do."

She knew the dog. More importantly, the dog knew her, which was a faint sign that she was not going insane, or about to pass out and bleed out. Flipsy came closer, still wagging. Holy hell, how long had it been? Years for sure. Angua was not young either, and Flipsy had been there way before.

Also, Rupert was not in a good mood. And he looked... better?...

>>"Look, that cut looks pretty bad. Why don't you patch yourself up a little; there's a first aid... duffel thing... under the sink. But just so we're clear, you're under arrest."

"I know" Maya muttered at the first aid information. She remembered, and Rupert was a paranoid bastard. She turned to pull the bag from under the sink. Leaning down made her dizzy, so she plopped down on the edge of the bathtub, hands on her knees.
Under arrest.

"For **** sake Rupert, it's me. Maya. Pathetic little half-lesbian cross-dresser?..." she muttered and gave him a look at she unzipped the bag "Since when are you a cop?"

>>"…Citizen's arrest. I don't know what the other Rupert got himself into, but I am not him, and I do not have dealings with wanted criminals."

The other Rupert.
Other Rupert.
Two Ruperts.
Rupert 2.0.
Rupert, Limited Edition.

"... F*ck."

Maya laughed a little. Seriously? She managed to fall into someone's bathroom, and it just happened to be another Rupert?

>>"How'd you get in, anyway? Didn't your mother ever tell you to use the front door?"

"My mother never used the front door." Maya pointed out, digging into the bandages "Which you'd know if you'd be the other Rupert. How did you get stuck here, hm?"

He was starting to feel a ridiculous pointing a gun at a woman who was completely dismissing having a gun pointed at her. It was like she was so used to it, she was blasé about it.

She wasn't used to him pointing at gun at her. …Was she?

****ing other Rupert. This Rupert lowered the gun, and just hoped this wasn't some elaborate ruse by a vengeful X-Man to take him out.

He didn't think any ruse needed half-lesbian cross-dressers, no matter how elaborate they were. He looked a little closer at the woman. So… transvestite? Probably not the right time to ask about preferred gender pronouns.

>> "Since when are you a cop?"

"Since the minimum recruitment age for the NYPD," Rupert said. "Or since never. Depends on what universe we're talking about."

Now that he wasn't pointing the gun at her, it was just an awkward lump in his hand. He didn't have the holster for it. He didn't know if it had a holster. He put the safety back on, and tucked it into his belt. He knew you couldn't tell how dangerous a mutant was just by looking at them, but he also knew you couldn't tell how dangerous they were by their mutation, either. It was all in how they used it. How willing they were to use it. This woman wasn't physically threatening him, and it seemed polite to return the courtesy.

"Yeah, the other Rupert was a fount of wisdom and knowledge, the way I hear it. Not that I'm any better: a year of that damn portal being open, and I step over an hour before it closes. The coffee over here is crap, in case you didn't know. Hope you got a chance to try ours."

He gestured at her shoulder. Still kinda drippy, there. And kind of in a weird place to deal with herself. "You need help getting a bandage on that? Still under arrest, by the way."

>>"Since the minimum recruitment age for the NYPD. Or since never. Depends on what universe we're talking about."

Other Rupert was a cop. Like, a legit cop, with better hair and more stamina and no wheezing. Go figure. Was it Better Timeline Rupert? Did he know Jesse? Did he even know what his doppelganger was like, back in his mutant-hunting heyday?

>>"Yeah, the other Rupert was a fount of wisdom and knowledge, the way I hear it. Not that I'm any better: a year of that damn portal being open, and I step over an hour before it closes. The coffee over here is crap, in case you didn't know. Hope you got a chance to try ours."

"Oh I got a chance to try a lot of your things" Maya smirked, wriggling out of her top. The cur on her shoulder blade did not feel deep, but it sure was bleeding like a b*tch. Left in her soaked sports bra, she tried to assess the damage in the mirror.
Rupert was stuck here, like so many others. What are the odds.

>>"You need help getting a bandage on that? Still under arrest, by the way."

"Yeah, thanks." Maya sat back down on the edge of the tub, and pushed the bag towards Rupert with her foot. At least he was not making her clean up. Yet. Déja vu, indeed.

"Yeah yeah, I'm under arrest. You do know though that we work for the police over here, right?"

>> "Oh I got a chance to try a lot of your things"

The young woman said, right before she wiggled off her shirt. With a smirk.

…Yeah, she was doing that on purpose. Still not his type, but he doubted this was about real flirting so much as it was about trying to get a reaction from him.

What kind of reaction would the other him have given? She was a mutant who'd broken into his apartment, ignored a threat on her life, and was actively snarking off at him. Based on talking to Lee, he'd say the other guy might be getting a touch irate right about now.

So what kind of reaction should he give?

"If you don't get that bra soaking now, you're never going to get the blood out," Rupert said, with perfect sympathy. "Why don't you take it off?"

Yeah, that was a little smirk on his face, too. His also wasn't about flirting; it was about saying too can play at that game, princess.

On the other hand, he also had it on good report that the other Rupert was a complete ass, and trying to be the opposite of an ass might just make him into a dick. He couldn't let this guy define him. He held up his hands, the universal—wait, did they use it in this universe?—gesture for surrender.

"Sorry, that was uncalled for. I'll get a towel; we should probably get some of that blood off before we try slapping gauze on."

Towels were in the closet right outside, but he took a moment to walk to the bedroom. He took the gun out of his belt, and slid it up on the top shelf in the closet. The young—lady was a stretch, woman was accurate, but brat was the word that kept coming to mind—the young X-Woman didn't seem like she was about to get violent on him, but he was about to be in touching range of her. The only thing worse than not having a gun if a suspect turned on you, was for the suspect to have your gun. He didn't think he was going to use it, and he didn't want it in easy grabbing range.

Back in the bathroom, towel in hand, he sat behind her on the tub ledge. Hopefully not close enough to crowd her, but it wasn't the world's biggest tub. He wet the towel down with a quick turn of the faucet. And he grabbed some gloves out of the med pack, too. Frankly, he didn't know what blood-born diseases they had on this side of the portal. Maybe spontaneous bathroom teleportation was contagious; what did he know?

>> "Yeah yeah, I'm under arrest. You do know though that we work for the police over here, right?"

You're shitting me, wasn't the most eloquent reply, but it was the first that came to mind.

"Are you seriously trying to tell me," he said, "that the NYPD, charged with protecting the people and upholding the law, is working hand-in-hand with the city's most unrepentant vigilantes? Or what, do you guys do bake sales and," he poked at her back, not quite on the cut but near enough, "blood drives on this side?"

She didn't seem to be lying. In fact, she seemed relaxed to the point of snarkary. Sure, she might have disregarded the gun at first because she thought she knew him, but now she knew she didn't. And she was still apparently at ease with him calling the cops.

The blood clean up was as good as it was getting. Still kind of oozing a little, but not as bad as it could have been. The cut was long, but most parts weren't deep. He got out a gauze pad and some tape, and got to work.

"That's going to need stitches. And I'm going to need to check out that story of yours, because either you're the best liar in two universes, or they forgot to hang a 'Welcome to Bizarro World' over that portal. Working with the X-Men," he said, like it was the craziest thing he'd ever heard. It wasn't, but it was in the top ten.

The cut hurt like hell, so Maya tried to move her shoulder as little as possible while she twisted out of her shirt. The shirt was probably ruined as well, but she still had hopes for it. She tossed it onto the floor, for now. It was already bloody anyway. Flipsy sniffed at it suspiciously.

>>"If you don't get that bra soaking now, you're never going to get the blood out. Why don't you take it off?"

Maya leveled a glare at Rupert.

"The bra is already toast. And I ain't playing on your team anyway."

At least old Rupert never actually hit on her. Granted, she had been a teen last time they met. It would have been creepy.

>>"Sorry, that was uncalled for. I'll get a towel; we should probably get some of that blood off before we try slapping gauze on."

Rupert went to get a towel (and probably to hide the gun), and left Maya alone with her thoughts. What were the odds, really? Here she was again. It made me think of other Rupert. She kinda missed him. Even if this model was nicer, and less run-down. Maya was getting nostalgic.

>>"Are you seriously trying to tell me, that the NYPD, charged with protecting the people and upholding the law, is working hand-in-hand with the city's most unrepentant vigilantes? Or what, do you guys do bake sales and.. blood drives on this side?"

"Ha-ha" Maya winced as he poked at her wound; Rupert got to work on cleaning her shoulder, so she couldn't see his face, but she could tell he was genuinely surprised. The status of the X-men was definitely one of the obvious differences between the two worlds.

>>"That's going to need stitches. And I'm going to need to check out that story of yours, because either you're the best liar in two universes, or they forgot to hang a 'Welcome to Bizarro World' over that portal. Working with the X-Men,"

"Google it" Maya suggested, glancing over her shoulder "It's really not much of a secret. We are deputized by the MRC. Mutant Related Crimes unit. We mostly get called in when the cops can't handle someone's powers."

Mostly.

"So, how come you're dog-sitting for the other Rupert? Did you guys bond over hating mutants and decided to move in together or something?"

>> "The bra is already toast. And I ain't playing on your team anyway."

Well there was the lesbian. He still wasn't sure why she was half-lesbian. Wouldn't that just make her bi?

>> "…We are deputized by the MRC. Mutant Related Crimes unit. We mostly get called in when the cops can't handle someone's powers."

Deputized.

They'd been…

"Deputized? They ***ing legalized you?"

Which meant that right now, she had more legal powers than he did. And he'd been a cop for eighteen years. He didn't want to pull the 'I was arresting people while you were in drinking juice boxes' line, but there was something fundamentally wrong with this situation.

The worst part was, he could almost see the sense of it: being able to call in mutant backup would have been a literal lifesaver back home, and he figured it was the same way here. But over on his side of things, they still had moral standards, they still believed in what they did, they didn't just go around deputizing people who'd put themselves above the law. Those were exactly the kind of people you did not want to hand official powers to.

The wall of the tub wasn't too far behind him. He slumped back against it, his head banging a little on the tiles.

"Bandage is as good as it's getting. Can I borrow your phone? My data plan doesn't exist over here."

>> "So, how come you're dog-sitting for the other Rupert? Did you guys bond over hating mutants and decided to move in together or something?"

Rupert peeled off his bloody gloves, and tossed those in the tub, too. "While I'm willing to reconsider my stance on a case-by-case basis," a pointed stare at her, "I don't hate mutants. What I hate is people trying to put themselves so far above the law that they're lording it over the rest of us like kids burning ants with a magnifying glass. The mafia does it. The X-Men do it. And all the rest of us shmucks, law-abiding mutants included, get stuck putting out their fires."

"As far as I know, the other Rupert is either over on my side of the rift being an asshole to a whole 'nother universe, or he's dead in a ditch over here. All I know is he left his poodle, his gun, and enough liquor to fill this bathtub. He was such a charmer, his landlady didn't even care he was gone. I think her words were, 'Your name's on the lease, I don't care who you are as long as you pay the rent.' I—Oh, eww. Dog, no. Stop licking that."

He nudged the poodle away from Maya's bloody shirt with his foot. And now he was going to have to give the dog a bath. And re-clean the whole bathroom. Great.

>>"Deputized? They ***ing legalized you?"

"Yup" Maya smirked. At least they had that on the other side. That, and the lack of SUPER. Or so she hoped.

>>"Bandage is as good as it's getting. Can I borrow your phone? My data plan doesn't exist over here."

Maya reached into one of her pockets and fished out her phone, handing it to Rupert. Any important information went through the X-comm anyway. "Just don't download any porn. I'm sure your side has better porn too anyway." The grass was always greener in the other dimension.

>>"While I'm willing to reconsider my stance on a case-by-case basis, I don't hate mutants. What I hate is people trying to put themselves so far above the law that they're lording it over the rest of us like kids burning ants with a magnifying glass. The mafia does it. The X-Men do it. And all the rest of us shmucks, law-abiding mutants included, get stuck putting out their fires."

"Oh, boo-hoo. At least our government is not funding an active hate group like SUPER" Maya shot back, poking over her shoulder to make sure the bandage would hold. They could argue about politics all day, but that was beside the point. Not like she ever got along with the old Rupert on that topic either. Which reminded her... where was old Rupert?

>>"As far as I know, the other Rupert is either over on my side of the rift being an asshole to a whole 'nother universe, or he's dead in a ditch over here. All I know is he left his poodle, his gun, and enough liquor to fill this bathtub. He was such a charmer, his landlady didn't even care he was gone. I think her words were, 'Your name's on the lease, I don't care who you are as long as you pay the rent.' I—Oh, eww. Dog, no. Stop licking that."

"He was an asshole with a heart of asshole" Maya noted "Funny thing is, I met him the exact same way almost ten years ago. This ain't the first time I'm bleeding all over this bathroom floor..." she mused, suddenly nostalgic, and nudged Flipsy away from the gore "He was the alcoholic deadbeat father that I never had. You look like a... uh, less run down version of him?" she chuckled "But I'm telling you, the X-men on this side ain't that bad. They are not even bad on your side, really. They just got really bad rep."

>> "Just don't download any porn. I'm sure your side has better porn too anyway."

She sure had a mouth on her. "No worries," he said, trying to figure out which of these icons was the browser, "I'll make sure to go through your stash, first. Gotta find something you'd enjoy."

Oh, there it was. The colorful segmented circle thingie. Because that screamed 'web browser'. On his phone, it was the cute Ooogle Overlord Spider, with its adorable all-seeing eyes.

So many eyes.

>> "Oh, boo-hoo. At least our government is not funding an active hate group like SUPER"

"No, yours is just taking people who've already shown a flagrant disregard for the law and giving them the power to arrest their fellow citizens. Can't see how that would go wrong."

The keyboard layout on her phone was different. Why was the 'e' there? Whatever. Search: X-Men Deputies.

…This was a thing, yeah. The kind of thing that made him taste bile in the back of his mouth, but he was just going to have to swallow it. New world, new laws. If he wanted to be a cop here, he was going to have to learn them. Couldn't work on getting them changed until he knew what they were. Rupert let out a breath, and handed her phone back.

"Congratulations. You're no longer under arrest. Though you could be, if I wanted to press charges. Or do deputies give themselves a free pass on breaking and entering? And seriously, how did you get in?"

He could think of a few ways: teleporter, quantum tunneler, please-not-a-mirror-walker. But that was the thing about mutations; there were so many, it could literally be anything.

Her… compliments… for his other self were the most back-handedly affectionate things he'd ever heard. As was her comment for him.

>> " You look like a... uh, less run down version of him?"

"Thanks. I hear he was having trouble with his maintenance. Wheezy intake values, limping suspension, don’t even get me started on the extra mileage. Should've bought the warranty." He deadpanned the words. They deserved deadpanning. He pushed the poodle away from the shirt again, while he was at it.

>> "But I'm telling you, the X-men on this side ain't that bad. They are not even bad on your side, really. They just got really bad rep."

And that told him exactly where her ethical standards were at. If he took her word that the X-Men on his side were about the same as the ones here, then that meant it her very idea of justice that was out of whack. He really needed to look into this more, see what kind of history this world had that made people accept deputizing rogue vigilantes as a good idea. 'Cause off the top of his head, he couldn't think of any unambiguously good things that would come of—

"Wait. If the X-Men work with the police, then police work with the X-Men too, right? So… does that mean we get to play in that training room of yours? The one with the crazy future-tech holograms and the robots and the other crazy stuff?" He gestured a little dramatically as he tried to wrap his head around that place.

>> "No worries. I'll make sure to go through your stash, first. Gotta find something you'd enjoy."

"Knock yourself out, grandpa." Maya chuckled. Not like she actually had a stash or anything. Granted she did not have a girlfriend at the moment either, but... who the hell kept that stuff on their cellphone anyway?!...
Maybe the other universe did.

He was still grumping about the government and vigilantes as he looked at the phone. Maya slumped back onto the edge of the tub as she made sure the bandage was secure. She'd ask DocProf for stitches later. She was not particularly nervous about Rupert's Google escapades; she knew what he'd find.

>>"Congratulations. You're no longer under arrest. Though you could be, if I wanted to press charges. Or do deputies give themselves a free pass on breaking and entering? And seriously, how did you get in?"

"I walked through the looking glass." Maya deadpanned. The snark was nothing new, and this guy was not going to arrest her any more than the last one did.

>>"Thanks. I hear he was having trouble with his maintenance. Wheezy intake values, limping suspension, don’t even get me started on the extra mileage. Should've bought the warranty."

"Didn't buy it in the first place" Maya smirked. Rupert just... tagged along, or she tagged along, it was hard to tell now. She had been sixteen years old back then...

>>"Wait. If the X-Men work with the police, then police work with the X-Men too, right? So… does that mean we get to play in that training room of yours? The one with the crazy future-tech holograms and the robots and the other crazy stuff?"

Oh, now they were talking.

"What, the Danger Room? That's for powers training." and occasional parenting classes "I mean, I'm sure you can get an appointment if you go through MRC. Some people on the teams overlap, you know."

>> "I walked through the looking glass."

Rupert looked blank for all of two seconds. Then it clicked.

If snark had a baby with chronic depression, that would just about describe his voice.

"Half-lesbian. Because half the time you're a guy. ****ing mirrorwalkers. Let me guess: you've got some classical art on your walls, your codename starts with 'M', and you knocked up the X-Leader. Lovely to meet you, Deputy. Great to have you on this side of the law."

>> "What, the Danger Room? That's for powers training. I mean, I'm sure you can get an appointment if you go through MRC. Some people on the teams overlap, you know."

"All right. First off: whoever you let name things around your base, fire them. Second: I am going to play laser tag in there. Just try and stop me. We can do Cops v. Robbers." He smirked. "Sorry—Cops v. X-Men."

If only one good thing could come of this whole universe switch, then holodeck access wasn't too bad a consolation prize.

Maya turned just in time to see the look on Rupert's face. That was more like it. The mild disgust mixed with disappointment. That was some classic Rupert brand roast right there.

>>"Half-lesbian. Because half the time you're a guy. ****ing mirrorwalkers. Let me guess: you've got some classical art on your walls, your codename starts with 'M', and you knocked up the X-Leader. Lovely to meet you, Deputy. Great to have you on this side of the law."

Maya arched an eyebrow. That was a lot of information about Jesse from someone on the far side of the law. Also, a whole lot of coincidences. Was there something else about parallel universes that made them line up even across the divide?... Rup made some snarky joke about the DR as well, but Maya was still replaying his previous comments.

"Okay, first off: I most decidedly did not knock up the X-leader, I don't think he'd be game for that." although Sam would have thought the accusation was hilarious "And classical art is really not my style. But yeah, I'm a guy half the time. Today's a Maya day, though. I assume you met Mirage then, huh?"