"Live a little, Rup," they'd said. "It's a freaking alternate universe that you can walk too," they'd said. "My wife and I took the kids last weekend, of course it's safe, you really think it's going to start turning people to jelly? Thing's been open a year, it ain't going anywhere," they'd said. "Bet it's got coffee shops you haven't tried," they'd said.

And that's how, on the first of July, Rupert Kelley, thirty-nine year old bachelor, Sergeant in the NYPD's Mutant Relations and Support department (yes that made them the mutants' MRS', shut up conservative newscasters), found himself staring at a closed portal from the wrong side.

"Huh," he'd said, holding his coffee. They'd he'd taken a sip, and helped the police on this side settle down an increasingly agitated crowd. They'd seemed a little surprised to see him. Correction: a little surprised to see him in uniform. He'd come after work. Just a quick stop over, just a few blocks in. It'd been weird and he'd been ready to go home.

On this side of the portal, apparently he'd been on disability for years. Something about a stabbed lung. And leg. And… everywhere.

On this side of the portal, apparently he'd been a Detective in the Mutant-Related Crimes department. And if "MRC" was really any better than "MRS", he'd eat his hat. Which was a flat cap, why was everyone so confused by that?

Oh, of course: because on this side of the portal, he'd worn a fedora.

He didn't find the fedora in the other Rupert's apartment, but he did find a mini-poodle. He'd filled her water dish, and followed her to the cabinet her food was kept in. Then he'd cleared some trash off the couch and sat down. He just... needed to sit a minute.

"Huh."

His credit cards didn't work here. The bank he used didn't exist. His driver's license was the wrong color. One of the guys at the station, a friend who didn't know him at all but knew the other him, had put him up for a few nights while they tried to get in touch with the Rupert here, because what do you do with an alternate universe doppleganger? You try dumping him on his other self, apparently. But the Rupert here wasn't answering his phone, wasn't answering the door, was letting his mail pile up while his poodle whined inside. They'd gotten the landlady to let him in.

"Your name's on the lease," she'd said. "You pay the rent, you keep the place."

Wherever the other him had ended up when the portal closed, Rupert hoped his coffee had been worth it.

The poodle tried and failed to jump up on the couch. She was… pretty old. Rupert picked her up, and stared into her cataracts as she squiggled in his hands. "Flipsy," the name on her collar said, and he wondered what awful ex he'd let name her that.

"Listen, dog," he said, "I don’t know you, you don't know me, but I've had worse roommates in my life. Don't make a mess and I'll keep your bowl full. Capisce?"

The poodle licked his chin. He set her back on the floor, and she went tottering off into stacks of garbage as tall as she was.

…Other Rupert was a real winner.

This Rupert sighed, and dug out the trash bags. They were right under the counter where he always kept them. Wouldn't have killed the other him to use them.

This Rupert rolled up the sleeves of his uniform—the only clothes he owned here, the only thing really his—and got to work.

Two hours later found him yelling loud enough to be heard in the hall.

"Are you fucking kidding me."

A statement, not a question. Flipsy barked in cheerful agreement.

Rupert was far from perfect. Lee had known that from the first time she had met the man. He was a bigot, a zealot, and a hypocrite.

And yet, Rupert had been there every time she had actually needed him. In the camps when he turned her collar off and gave her his sandwich the day of the breakout. Cooking her dinner and letting her crash on his couch the night before she went back to Canada. Calling her to deal with Tarin being merged. He had also sent a birthday card for Kevin each and every year.

Every year until this last birthday. Lee hadn’t noticed at first. She had had a lot going on at the time, discovering that she was pregnant, telling Kevin that he was going to be a big brother on his birthday. And then everything that had happened with Blaine and his doppelganger.

Lee had meant to check on Rupert, but something or another had kept coming up. Finally, Lee found herself near Rupert’s apartment with some spare time. So in the building she went and up the stairs. Only to hear Rupert’s voice through the door.

Oh, he was in great form today, wasn’t he?

Stopping in front of his door, Lee raised her hand and knocked.

Knocking. Someone was knocking. And the nice thing was? It was guaranteed not to be anyone he actually cared about.

That, Rupert could deal with.

This, he couldn't.

This was a newsletter. He opened the door, and shoved it into the person's—the woman's?—the fairly attractive but from another universe woman's chest.

"I'm a fucking Church of Humanity member."

The front page headline: Stand Your Ground: How to Defend Your Home From the Mutant Threat.

Rupert rummaged past the growing pile of black trash bags next to the door, and found the end table. On the end table, a wallet. He flipped it open, and held it in front of her face.

"Look, I've got a membership card and everything. It's laminated. And check it out, it's," he flipped one of the little plastic things over, "Covering the pictures of my kids. My two kids."

He'd checked the backs; 'Roger' and 'Kevin' were penned in his own handwriting, and if he thought he'd gotten over the general creepiness of this situation, seeing his own handwriting had taken him to a new level of Twilight Zone. They looked nothing alike, and there certainly weren't beds for them here. Different mothers? They didn't even really look like him, to be honest. What a class act this guy was.

Rupert pointed. Lots of pointing. Pointing was better than grabbing his head and screaming. "Look, this one has rabbit ears. Why am I a Church of Humanity member when my kid has rabbit ears? Did I get hit on the head a lot as a child? Do you know? Because I'm running out of excuse for why I—oh god, I owe child support, don't I? Can they take that out of my pay, is that legal? But if the mothers are waiting for it—oh god do I have visitation rights? Are they expecting to see me? I can't just… stop coming one day. That'd screw them up for their whole lives. 'Hey kids, daddy went out for a pack of cigarettes, he'll be back any year now.'"

He was probably breathing faster than was strictly healthy. Good thing he didn't have any lung problems. But still, maybe he should just sit down, or...

He took a step backwards. The poodle yelped. He fell over. The ceiling had cobwebs in the corners. Another thing he had to clean; great.

Oww.

"I'm done," Rupert said, not bothering to get back up. "I'm just done."

The poodle started licking his eyeball, probably in some kind of doggy apology for trying to kill him. He squinted it shut. "Thanks, dog. You're a real pal."

Oh shit. This woman was pregnant. Rupert lifted up a hand from the floor, and pointed in the general direction of her belly. "If that's mine, you're going to need to leave your number, or something."

The door opened and Rupert shoved a piece of paper at her. Then he opened his wallet to show his Church of Humanity card to her like it would get her off his doorstep. Lee just blinked slowly at Rupert, who appeared to be going into full rant mode.

”Uh, yeah, I know you are,” Lee replied slowly, letting the paper fall to the ground among the garbage bags. A very large number of garbage bags for how tidy she remembered his apartment had been.

But Rupert went on, talking about his kids, and Lee frowned in confusion. Sure, it’s not like the two of them talked very often, maybe a couple times a year since she had left New York, But despite the very infrequent communication, Lee was sure that Rupert would have mentioned something about having a kid.

As her eyes looked down at the pictures in his wallet, Rupert continued speaking, Saying something about child support and withholding his pay. But Lee frowned as her eyes focused on the pictures, though Rupert’s rant didn’t allow her to get any words in edgewise. His rants rarely let someone get a word in.

Except that what he said didn’t make sense. The one picture was her son, and though she’d never seen the other boy before, she knew that it could only be Roger.

Then it clicked. This wasn’t Rupert. Well, it was Rupert, but the man standing in front of her wasn’t the Rupert that she knew. This had to be the Rupert from the other side of the rift. Somehow, even though it was now closed. As that clicked in her brain, Lee watched as Rupert stepped backward, tripping over Flipsy, to land on the floor. ”Don’t worry, they’re not yours,” Lee said, stepping into the apartment and closing the door behind her. ”The older one is mine. And Roger’s not actually yours.”

He pointed at her stomach, and Lee couldn’t help but laugh. ”And god no, she’s not yours,” Lee replied, holding her hand out to help Rupert up from where he was still laying on the floor. ”As for why he’s still a member of that church, I couldn’t tell you, I’ve never figured it out.”

The woman politely declined to join his freak out. That was… probably for the best. In fact, she pretty much rode his rant out like a sailor who knew these seas. Not a random neighbor come to complain about his shouting, then. A friend.

The other guy's friend.

Rupert accepted the offered hand, and climbed back to his feet, careful not to step on the arthritically prancing mini-poodle.

"Sorry about that. Think I got it out of my system. It's, ah, nice to meet you. I'm Rupert --" He slapped a hand over his face, and dragged it down. "But you knew that. Sorry. This is just a little… I didn't even want to visit this place, but they had an office bet that I wouldn't, and… now I'm stuck here, because I wanted Detective Browning to lose ten bucks."

To be fair, Browning was a dick. Rupert sincerely hoped the other guys shook him down for the money when they realized he wasn't coming back.

"Can I… get you something to drink? I'm pretty sure I saw some soda hidden behind his copious drinking problem." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Sorry. Probably shouldn't insult your friend like that."

But seriously. Copious drinking problem. Those cokes were probably for mixing.

"So how did you meet... me?" And why the hell did she put up with this guy? He didn't say it, but it was kinda implied.

This Rupert was upset about the fact that the Rupert she knew was a member of the Church of Humanity, and he readily accepted her hand up. Not that he would have any way of knowing that she was a mutant, but Lee was already liking this Rupert better.

Rupert seemed to be a little off balance mentally, though. But as he spoke, Lee saw the reason for that; she knew who he was, even if she hadn’t met this version of Rupert until just a couple of minutes ago, but he had no idea who she was. ”I did already know that. But you have a much better grip on your anger than the man I know,” she replied. ”My name is Lee, by the way.”

He hadn’t even wanted to come to this reality. And he had only come here to win a bet, just to end up stuck here. That had to be horrible, though at least from everything that she had heard about that other world, he was now in the better one.

”Yeah, a coke would be great. But don’t worry about insulting him. To be honest, that’s mild compared to what could be said about the man.”

Slowly making her way further into the apartment, weaving her way between the garbage bags and jumping poodle. ”How did I meet him?” Lee took a deep breath, thinking back. This Rupert did seem much more...accepting of mutants than this other version, so Lee just went ahead. ”He showed up at my door flashing his badge, and I was terrified he was going to drag me off to the mutant registration camp. He didn’t, but it definitely was not the greatest of first meetings.”

"Anger issues, huh? I'll, ah, look out for those." And she could tell, within about thirty seconds of meeting him, that he had a better grip. Considering he didn't have a grip on any of this, that was probably saying something for the other guy.

The other guy, who she cared enough about to come check on, but was totally okay with him insulting. He was sensing an odd dynamic, here. What, was Rupert that estranged uncle that no one else would put up with?

Whoa, scary thought. What was his family like, here? Would they even think of him as family?

Four months to Thanksgiving. He'd have to figure it out by then, or there was a fantastically awkward turkey dinner in his future.

He… didn't need to think about that right now. Rupert ran a hand through his hair, and went to the fridge. Coke. Right. Two cokes, coming up. He wouldn't have minded something a little stronger, but looking at this guy's place was some kind of cautionary tale.

"You want a cup, or ice?" He called, and served the lady her coke as she desired. For himself… just the can. He set it down on top of an old bill—a good a coaster as any—and hurried to make the couch presentable. Or at least sit-able. "Here, take a seat."

He sat down on the opposite end. After sufficient scratching at his pants, he lifted the poodle up, too.

Lee met him—the other him—when he—the other he? God, he needed a better way to think about this. She met that guy when the no-relation-to-himself asshole pulled a badge on her. And add 'abuse of authority' to the score board.

Rupert drank his coke, and managed to stop from sinking his head into his hands as she explained the first time still-thinks-fedoras-are-cool Rupert met her.

"Wow, that's… wow. I'm sorry he put you through that, Lee. If you don't mind my asking… why were you friends with him?"

He was kind of hoping—nay, puppy dog eyeing—for something redeemable, here. But for the grace of God go I, and all that.

"And, ah. Thank you. For trusting me to know you're a mutant. I don't know how it is here, I guess, but back home that can be a big deal. I won't go gabbing about it. I'm human, as you... probably knew."

Lee nodded when Rupert questioned about his counterpart’s anger issues. There really wasn’t a whole lot to say about it. In Lee’s experience, it wouldn’t take long to figure that out after meeting the man.

Wait, did that mean that this Rupert hadn’t met the Rupert she knew? How was that possible, they were in his apartment at that very moment. If they hadn’t met each other, or at the very least run into each other, how had this Rupert gotten into the apartment? Lee hadn’t been looking for it, but she didn’t remember seeing any indication of a break in on the door when she knocked on it.

”Just the can is fine,” Lee told Rupert before she followed him into the living room. And waited for the man to clean off the couch so that there was room for them to actually sit down.

Then Rupert asked a question that really caused Lee to have to think. Grabbing her coke, Lee took a sip, a slight frown on her face as she sat thinking about why she was friends with Rupert. If you could call it that. Finally, she set down her pop and looked over at the man sitting beside her. ”I don’t think you could call us friends, exactly. But despite how bigoted, rude, and hateful the man was, he was always there when I actually needed him to be.

“Which does pose an interesting question,” Lee continued, eyes drilling into Rupert’s as she spoke. ”Where is the hypocrite, anyway? Despite the similarities between this world and yours, I’m guessing it wouldn’t go as far as the keys to this place being the same.”

And then he was thinking her for telling him that she was a mutant. Lee could only just blink at him for a moment. ”Well, from what little I’ve heard, it’s a lot safer being a mutant here. At least now it is. But thanks for not telling people.”

Bigoted, rude, and hateful each got their own little flinches. Just a quick twitch of shoulder, like someone was firing gunshots down the block. But not at him. He needed to remember that: this guy was not him.

The poodle climbed into his lap, her stick-thin legs jabbed into his thins with the full weight of her rolly-polly little body. He was going to have to watch how much he feed her. He pat her head, with the awkwardness of a man who didn't consider anything under thirty pounds to actually be a dog.

>> "…he was always there when I actually needed him to be."

That was… better to hear. He scratched the dog's ears, and let out a breath.

And then she asked it: where was the other him.That one got a real flinch.

He thought she knew already. How she'd know, he suddenly had no clue, but they'd both been talking in past tense about the guy, so…

…Shit.

He was a cop. He'd broken the news before. Sometimes they knew as soon as they heard the knock on the door. Sometimes they knew it, but denied it: do you want a cup of tea, sit down, let me get you something, all the busy motions that kept him from saying the words just a little longer, like their son/husband/sister/wife wasn't really gone until someone said the magic words.

And it wasn't like this guy was dead. He was just… in a better place, as far as a bigoted, rude, hateful, card-carrying mutant hater was concerned.

And that sounded like how you'd tell a four year old his hamster was dead. Better places, in Rupert's opinion, didn't exist. There was only the world you were in now, and what you did about it.

Which had been a lot easier philosophy to practice when he only knew about one world. He tucked that existential crisis away for another day.

Deep breath in. Cop face. Eye contact.

"I'm sorry, Lee." (And that was usually enough, wasn't it? 'I'm sorry', and there was never any doubt what a cop would come to your house to apologize for.) "When I got here a few days ago, the cops who helped me out—" (because even on this side of things, a cop was a cop, you don't leave each other out to dry) "—they tried to contact him. They're going to keep trying, okay? The truth is, no one knows where he is. But it's starting to look like he's in the same position I am."

The guy had disappeared without telling anyone. He'd left his tiny little excuse for a dog locked in an apartment with no fresh source of water and food locked in a kid-proofed cabinet. The dog was ridiculous, but no one kept a rat named Flipsy unless they actually cared about the mutt. The other Rupert had either gone through the portal and gotten stuck, or he was dead in a ditch somewhere.

The cops on this side were checking hospitals and morgues, too. That wasn't the kind of thing Lee needed to hear. She seemed like a smart woman; let her have the comfort of the easy explanation said out loud. She could think the rest through on her own with no help from him, and no words that made those possibilities sound more real.

"Listen, if he was doing anything to help you out—I know I'm not him, I'm not trying to replace him or anything—but if he was, you let me know, okay? You need something, I'm pretty good about being there, too." He rubbed the back of his neck. "And truth is, I don't really know anyone on this side. So if you called me for some favors, you'd be doing me a favor, right?"

Lee saw the flinches the man made as she described the Rupert that she knew. Flinches that her world’s Rupert would never have made, either because he had heard the words too many times, or because he knew they were true. Or both. But this Rupert flinched hearing those words. Yup, Lee was definitely starting to like this version of Rupert better.

When she asked the question, it took Rupert a little while to answer, like he was trying to find the words to tell her.

And then he apologized. Lee just nodded, reaching for her drink. The police were trying to contact him, to no avail. This Rupert figured that his counterpart had gotten stuck on the other side when the rift closed. And in a way that did make sense, that other world that was so anti-mutant must have been a real draw to him despite his almost friendly and not always murderous relationships with some mutants here.

Except that his wallet, complete with his Church of Humanity card and pictures of Roger and Kevin, was still here in the apartment. He may have gotten stuck on the other side, or he had gone after the wrong mutant and his body hadn’t been discovered yet. And considering that she had thought about killing him on a couple of occasions, that situation seemed very likely.

Lee nodded again, taking a sip of her drink before looking back at the Rupert sitting beside her. Seeing the look on his face, Lee knew he thought it was possible the other Rupert was dead, too. But considering how he had flinched at the word ‘bigot’, Lee didn’t see a reason to mention what could have possibly ended the man’s life. If and when a body was found might be a good time to bring that up, but there was really no reason to right now.

Then Rupert spoke again, and Lee couldn’t help the smile. Despite being a hypocritical asshole, the Rupert that she knew had been there for her when she really needed it. Though not in the way that this man was talking about. ”That...would be nice,” Lee said, giving the man a smile. ”I haven’t seen him in almost five years, so he wasn’t really helping me out, but I will keep that in mind. Especially since I don’t know when Blaine will finally be coming home.”

She had a good smile on her. And while it might be a little sexist, and probably the ladies down at the station would swat him upside the head for the thought, he didn't see how he could be an asshole to a woman that smiled like that. Rupert smiled back, the goofy grin of a guy who hadn't spent the last twenty years hating on part of the population.

"Is Blaine your—" a quick glance at that hand around her coke bottle, but no ring "—partner? And your kid's Kevin, right? He's a cutie. Any power on him, yet?"

The kid didn't exactly have rabbit ears, but that didn't mean he didn't have something. Rupert didn't know how it was on this side, but back home researchers were about ready to hit their heads into a wall over how powers were actually inherited. Best as he could tell, mutants usually had mutant kids, but the powers they actually ended up with were some kind of lottery the universe was running.

Rupert smiled back, and Lee could honestly say that she had never seen a smile that looked that happy on that face before. It was rather nice, actually, seeing Rupert look happy. Something that Lee never thought she would see.

”Yeah, Blaine’s my boyfriend,” Lee replied, the smile still on her face. ”And thanks, he is a cutie. But no, no powers yet. I’m hoping we still have a good five to seven years before that happens. But it’s kinda hard to plan for.”

With that, Lee took another sip of her coke before turning back to Rupert. ”Have you found a good coffee place yet?” she asked after a few moments. ”I know that...the other you was very particular about coffee, and it took me quite a while to find a good place when I came back to the city.”

"See, that's the funny part. That coffee I got, the one that got me stuck over here? Terrible." He was Italian: terrible came with expansive hand gesturing that startled the poodle. What, did other Rupert not talk with his hands? Screw that guy: this Rupert did. "The shop looked nice, great reviews, but it tasted like someone dropped a centipede in the roaster." 'Centipede in the roaster' also got some hand gestures. Kind of squiggly ones. "It was the worst cup of coffee in my life, literally and metaphorically."

"Do you know a place? 'Cause if you do, it'd be my treat." He cast an eye around the apartment. He could see the floor now, but that just told him he needed to rent a carpet shampooer. "I could use with getting out for a bit. The guys at the station are great; they sent around a hat, got me a little spending cash until my paychecks start. If ever there were a time to spring for over-priced coffee, this is it."

Not that he'd been promised a job there. But he'd gotten a wink-wink lack of promises and an interview when he knew they were between batches of new recruits. So. Terrible coffee aside, at least he had that going for him. The other Rupert had friends, and they were willing to extend that good will to look-alikes.

Rupert wasn't going to think to hard about the kind of friends the other him would attract.

Lee shook her head. ”That is just terrible,” she said before finishing her pop off. ”We will most certainly have to remedy that. Can’t have you wandering around here without a good place to get coffee.”

Did she know a place? Lee nodded as she pushed herself to the edge of the couch. ”I do, actually. There’s a good little place...about eight blocks away from here. And a cup of coffee sounds great right about now.”

That said, Lee pushed herself to her feet - that was starting to get more difficult to do by this point - and turned to look at Rupert. ”I’m ready to go if you are.”

She was up before he had a chance to offer her a hand, like she'd done for him. Rupert blamed the poodle. He did manage to get the door for her, though, and when they got to the little set of steps leading from the building back to the sidewalk, he offered her his arm.

He might be overdoing it a little, but if the other Rupert was rude, then this Rupert has going to show her how much of a gentleman a Kelley could be. When he wasn't being a hateful bigot.

He made sure to walk at her pace. Eight blocks on a July day in New York was a lot like being in a pizza oven, with a humidity mister. He couldn't imagine doing this pregnant.

He looked around as they walked. He hadn't really been out and about much, and his brain had been a little too fried for processing details. He tried to keep most of the weirdness on the inside, but every once in a while they slipped out.

"Was that building always there?"

"Wait, that guy's president?"

It wasn't just the big things, either.

"Red fire hydrants? Seriously? Water is blue."

He held the door again at the coffee shop, and did a little half-bow flourish with an after you arm. And now he knew he was overdoing it, but what the heck, it was kind of fun.