Matt had woken up alone. It was hard to tell exactly how long he’d slept, but when he blinked his eyes open, the room was empty. His stuff was still there, but Svetlana’s was gone. The note next to the bed detailed where she had gone, and it made his stomach sink. She could hold her own out there, but she hadn’t stuck around. Really, he hadn’t expected her to, but he’d hoped that she might. He’d hoped that she might choose to stick it through rather than leaving. For a while, he simply laid on his back and stared at the ceiling.

The pain had lessened, and he definitely felt better after a long sleep, but knowing that Svetlana had walked out hurt… more than the taser had. Not more than getting shot, but more than the taser. Was it for the best? He likely wouldn’t have been in any of the situations that they’d been in if he hadn’t met her, but he also didn’t regret any of them. He didn’t wish that they hadn’t happened. After losing Sophie, Matt had assumed that he would likely never find someone else that he connected with or felt something for. He couldn’t quite tell whether what he felt for Svetlana was like that specifically, but it wasn’t trivial. That was for sure. He felt something.

He did follow her advice and took a cab over to the closest hospital. They sent him through x-rays and took various tests all to let him know that the nurse had done an alright job, all things considered. They kept him overnight for observation and chalked him full of different medications, and then they sent him on his way. For the next two days, he stayed holled up in his apartment, trying to figure out what to do.

It wasn’t like he could go back to work, so he stayed inside instead. He didn’t really know what was going through Svetlana’s head, but he knew that he wasn’t going to let her ghost him like that. Two days of rest and contemplation had made him decide that he was going to go to her work. This wasn’t a conversation that he wanted to have over the phone, he sucked at texting, and he didn’t know where she lived. That left Haven.

But he was an adapted who was going to be walking into a building full of mutants. It was a bad idea, and he knew it, but he was going to take his chances. Plus, it felt good to be up and out of the house. Showered and dressed, he was standing at the front desk of “Haven”. He still wasn’t entirely clear on what the whole place was.

“Svetlana Sergeyeva,” he said, his hands on the edge of the desk as he waited to hear whether or not he could actually see her. So far, he hadn’t had any issues with his abilities, and he was hoping to keep it that way.

“What’s this concerning?”

“I’m… a friend. It’s a personal matter.”

“Urgent?”

“Sure, yeah.”

“Alright, follow me,” the receptionist said. Matt could tell that she was eyeing him funny, but he didn’t really care. If he had to spin a white lie or two to get in, then he wasn’t above doing so. The receptionist led him through the halls and to an elevator before detailing exactly how to get to Sveta’s office.

Matt followed her instructions, taking the elevator rather than the stairs. He was doing alright for pain, but stairs were sort of the worst in his current state. At least he was up and walking. Eventually, he found the right place. With a deep breath, he knocked hard on the door.

It had been days, and Sveta was trying her best to pull herself together. Of course she wondered how Matt was doing. She wanted to know. She'd checked at the Sanctuary, and found out he had left, which was for the better, since it would have been really awkward to run into him. Her note had been simple, but she meant to stick to her decision. Matt was better off not being her... friend, or whatever. He did not need all the trouble in his life.

Sveta had other things to do. She was taking on work from Devon, monitoring news related to mutant rights and events, and helping with the paperwork of some people who were seeking asylum through Haven. It was a good job. She was helping people, she was keeping busy, and she was working for a cause (and a leadership) she fully believed in. And it was a good distraction from the rest of what was going on in her mind.

Which is why she was taken completely by surprise when someone knocked on her office door.

"Yes?"

She'd expected a lot of people... but not Matt. In the first moment, she was glad to see him, even if it was surprising to see him at the office door. Her second reaction was concern.

"Matt!...Is everything okay?"

How great of an idea was it to walk into an office building with a half-baked idea? Well, Matt was still trying to figure that out. How many days had he spent plotting out how he was going to go there? Too many, and yet he had never envisioned the plan past actually getting there. He was standing there, though, at Svetlana’s office, and he had no other plans.

She had opened the door, and there she was, standing there in business-casual dress as if they hadn’t been nearly killed a few days earlier. Part of him wondered what he had been expecting, going there, and then the other part just wondered how she was able to move on that easily. She hadn’t been shot like he had, though, and she got off easier.

It was concern that entered her voice next. Matt simply stood across the threshold, unsure of how to answer her question. Everything was just fine, and he didn’t know what he was there to say. He’d hunted her down for whatever reason and now he was at a loss as to what to actually do next. What did he say to the woman who had turned his world upside down and then left? What on earth could he say to her when he couldn’t even work through his own feelings?

“I just… um… I dunno, I guess I just needed to see you,” he said honestly, running his hand through his hair. He was pretty sure that his words had come out all wrong, and his expression was confused. He felt sixteen again. God, she was overwhelming. “I wanted to make sure you were alright. You just… left.”

Left without a reason. Had he scared her off before? If so he wasn't doing much good by showing up at her office a few days later. It was all a lot.[/div]

There was something about Matt's presence that had nothing to do with his aura. And yet it was an almost physical sense of comfort for Sveta; he was someone with whom she did not need to pretend at all. Except, now she did. He looked a little sheepish, a little confused, as he stood there in the doorway. It made her feel guilty all over again.

>>“I just… um… I dunno, I guess I just needed to see you. I wanted to make sure you were alright. You just… left.”

"I left a note" Sveta said as she stepped aside to let him into the office, and closed the door "I had to..." go talk to Haven about the attack, and get a jump on planning the downfall of SUPER. But that was not really what Matt was referring to, was it. "I didn't want to cause any more trouble. Did your apartment get cleared? I hope the damage wasn't too bad..."

She did leave a note. It wasn’t enough. Matt had to wonder where she had gone and whether she had simply walked right back into the grasp of SUPER. Of course, she had been right about the fact that they wouldn’t come after him, and Haven took care of his apartment, but he couldn’t help but worry. He wanted to see her, too. Make sure that she was doing alright after everything. Even for a woman who had seen it all, that had to have been a lot.

He stepped into her office when she moved aside for him and then closed the door. At least she didn’t seem to be sending him away. She wasn’t angry, it seemed, but she looked surprised to see him. Did she think that he wouldn’t bother to follow up or look for her? Just take it all at face value? There were some things that you just couldn’t come back from or keep living life as normal after. He felt like he couldn’t possibly go back to real life when she was running around somewhere else.

Still, she was mostly worried about causing trouble. Alright, so he couldn’t exactly say that she hadn’t caused any trouble in his life, but he didn’t really regret it. What else was he doing? Just breezing through things? He wasn’t ready to go back to that.

“Yeah, they did a good job. It was cleaned up when I got back,” Matt said. It had felt like a bit of a violation to have people in his apartment when he wasn’t there, but they had been pretty respectful of things. They’d even tried to move his stuff back into the proper place. “It was just the floor and a table or two. Not bad, all things considered.”

He was being calm, but he didn’t really know what he was doing, other than trying to talk to her again. What else did he have to say? I wish you hadn’t gone? “I’m glad you’re doing alright. Did you just go right back to work?”

The least they could do to help Matt was to make sure he got his apartment back more or less intact. There had been blood, and gunshot marks, and a broken door among other things; they might not be able to fix or replace everything, but at least Sveta made sure Matt had a place to go home to.

>>"Yeah, they did a good job. It was cleaned up when I got back. It was just the floor and a table or two. Not bad, all things considered.”

She nodded. Good. She had lost her place to live enough times to appreciate having one salvaged after a fight like that. And she did believe that SUPER was going to leave Matt alone now. As long as she left him alone, that is.
The conversation was halting, to say the least. She looked at him for a long moment, until the silence got awkward.

>>“I’m glad you’re doing alright. Did you just go right back to work?”

"Trying to" Sveta shook her head with a smirk. She had papers on her table, but honestly, it had been hard to focus on any of them. She looked up at Matt, not sure what else to say. "I'm fine, though, really. You didn't need to check on me..." It was sweet of him, worrying about how she was doing. She just could not afford to think too long about it, or she was going to waver in her convictions. She sighed. "The farther from me you are, the safer you are. I already got you hurt enough, Matt."

He was preventing her from going back to work at the moment, but it had been three days. He had to wonder how productive those days had been for her. Had she wondered what happened to him, or had it just been easier to put him out of her mind? Had it been easier to pretend like nothing had happened at all? Maybe it was just the fact that he was an adapted that had made her want to stick around in the first place, and when it go difficult it was better to cut ties.

Only, Matt didn’t even quite believe that. Even as the thought cross his mind, he knew that things were more complex than that. It couldn’t just be chalked up to a fleeting good feeling or two.

"The farther from me you are, the safer you are. I already got you hurt enough, Matt."

There it was. She didn’t want to hurt him. Matt couldn’t help but shake his head at that as he ran a hand through his hair again. What was she expecting him to say to that? Did she think that he could just walk away now? For a minute, he said nothing, but looked at her for a short time. Finally, he broke the silence.

“When I was little, my sister drowned. When I was in the army, I watched my friend step on a landmine. I saw more death there in days than most people will ever see,” he explained, his expression far more composed than it had been the first night that they’d met. “Four years ago, my wife died in front of me. I used… I used to think that I was cursed, that each time it was possible, everyone around me would die.

“You have no idea what it was like to wake up and know that you were okay.” He paused, waiting a beat as he looked down and then out the window. “I’m fine. I survived, and you got out the other side okay, too. I don’t know how you feel, but I care about you, Sveta.” Tentatively, he took a step toward her, his eyes searching hers.

Sveta was confused why Matt had come back at all. Or why he did not stop at asking at the front desk, and knowing that she was back to work. The way she saw it, she had given him a perfect way out, one that he did not have to feel guilty about - he could walk away from all the craziness that surrounded her. She left, for that reason. After all that he had been through, clearly he did not need more danger in his life.

>>“When I was little, my sister drowned. When I was in the army, I watched my friend step on a landmine. I saw more death there in days than most people will ever see. Four years ago, my wife died in front of me. I used… I used to think that I was cursed, that each time it was possible, everyone around me would die."

Sveta stood still as he spoke. She didn't know why he was telling her all this. She knew the feeling all too well, the idea that she was responsible for people around her constantly getting hurt. Except, in her case, she usually was, and he had never been responsible for losing his loved ones. This was exactly why she thought he'd be better off away from her. But he was going somewhere else with his words.

>>“You have no idea what it was like to wake up and know that you were okay. I’m fine. I survived, and you got out the other side okay, too. I don’t know how you feel, but I care about you, Sveta.”

There is was. For a moment, there was a flash of warmth in Sveta's chest, for all the things that could have been, and the things she allowed herself to imagine. And it was clear from the way she looked up at him that that moment terrified her. She was strong, and brave, and she had fought many things in the past, but willingly giving in to something that was bound to end in pain... for her, but mostly for him, that was scaring the daylights out of her. And she was really close to breaking anyway. She dug her nails into her palm.

"I care about you too. But that's the point, Matt. That would make you a target for everyone who wants to get to me. I can't..." let that happen? Be responsible for that? Imagine how that would end? "I just can't." Whatever she might want.

He could have sworn that he saw a flash of warmth in her eyes before it was replaced by a sureness. Matt frowned as he looked at her, knowing that she was readying herself to break the bad news. She didn’t think it was right, or she didn’t feel the same way. Something that would send him away and keep him away. Matt could feel his stomach sinking as he took in the image of her. Could he even turn around now?

"I care about you too. But that's the point, Matt. That would make you a target for everyone who wants to get to me. I can't… I just can't."

She couldn’t. She couldn’t let him be a target. Matt rolled his lips in, nodding and running his hand over his jaw. It made sense where she was coming from; scared to have what happened a few days ago become a regular ordeal. It probably hadn’t helped that he hadn’t handled himself well, letting himself get injured that much. All that had likely done was confirm her fears.

What could he say to her to change her mind? Did he want to change her mind? Yes, he had decided on that. He couldn’t walk out of the room and go back to his regular life without… something. He would never find anyone like her again, and he was sure of that. It didn’t matter if he might be in danger at that point; he’d dealt with danger before, but if it could come with something good, then he would take it. Latch onto one of the only good things that life still had to offer.

“Just… do me a favour and don’t think for a moment,” he said gently, moving even closer still as he rested his hand on her jaw. He turned his head slightly, and, if she let him, pressed his lips to hers.

Don't think.

She knew what he was about to do. The light touch on her jaw was indication enough. Matt was not the kind of guy that would go in for a kiss without a heads up; he was offering her a way out the same way she had offered one to him. And the same way he had, she did not take it either.

We are damn stubborn people

Sveta had not been kissed like this for a long time. It was not fun and exciting like it had been with Booker. It was a different kind of kiss, and a different kind of way she wanted it. Because she had to admit to herself, she wanted Matt to kiss her. So she let him.

Stupid, stupid man

She had always known she was going to crumble at first touch. That was why she had been fleeing. She was strong in other ways, but not with Matt. Not when he was so close, and so warm, and he fit so perfectly against her with his own broken parts. So she leaned in and kissed him back, hands resting on his chest. Somewhere in the back of her mind there were voices muttering about breaking her own convictions, and also about making out in her office.

Don't think.

He’d given her an out, just in case she really didn’t feel the way that he thought she did. It was a brief moment before he moved in where she could push him away and tell him to leave and never come back. It was a gamble to lean in, but he was hoping that the hand that was placed on his chest would be placed there lightly, and not to display her reproach.

But he could feel her crumble and relent. Her head tilted in response to kiss him back, and the hand on his chest was resting there, not forcing him back. There were too many things running through Matt’s head to be able to decipher them, so he took his own advice for a minute and letting any thoughts take a backseat. There was no place for them. At least, not then.

It was almost too easy to move against her, though. The hand that had been on her jaw moved to the back of her neck, his fingers gently grabbing at blonde hair, while his other moved to her waist, and then her back. Before that, he’d taken her hand, but that was as far as things had gone. Now, it felt like the floodgates had opened, and, having turned his back on rationality, it was hard to stop. He did, though, after an amount time that would make it impossible to classify the kiss as ‘short’ or ‘wary’. He likely should have been wary, but that was too much to ask.

When he pulled away, it was just barely. His hands didn’t move from her, and he didn’t move his face very far. Mostly, he had opened his eyes to meet hers and gauge some sort of reaction. Something to let him know that she was feeling what he was. He didn’t say anything, though; his words had left him.

Matt was not holding back for long. The moment she kissed him back, he pulled her closer, and Sveta was lost in the warmth, and in the feeling of security that made her believe for a few moments that nothing could go wrong. Her arms slid up around his shoulders. She told herself she was allowing this one kiss, but she knew that was likely not true. By the time Matt pulled back she already knew she wanted another one.

Dammit, Matt

She looked up at him. He was still there. Whatever she did, he was not taking the easy way out.

"I can't change your mind, can I" she sighed, sounding slightly happier about it than she should have been. She still felt the guilt and the worry, but the flood of emotions was numbing them to the point where she could believe that maybe this was not all a horrible mistake. She ran one hand through his hair. She had her gloves on, but it still felt nice. There were a lot of questions crowding in her mind. "Where do we go from this?..."

“No, I don’t think you can,” Matt replied, his face breaking into a grin as he took in her features. There was something in her response that let him know that she wasn’t as angry as she was trying to seem. It felt safe, standing there with her in his arms. They were in her office; her place of work, but he had barely noticed. The walls were gone, and nothing felt better. He didn’t want anything else in that moment.

A gloved hand ran through his hair, which made him blink his eyes slowly closed. Was it wrong of him to wish that that specific moment could last forever? Maybe. Maybe all of it was wrong, but if he had learned anything over the years that he’d been losing things, it was that some things were worth grasping onto while they were around. There were good memories that he wouldn’t trade for the world, even if they’d hurt him in the end.

"Where do we go from this?..."

Matt still wasn’t thinking very much. Smirking just a little, he shrugged. His fingers moved gently against the skin on the back of her neck and her back above her shirt. “If I’m being completely honest, I haven’t thought that far yet. I didn’t plan much beyond getting to your office, actually.” He was just hoping that she might say yes and let him in. Other than that, he had no idea. He’d been going things alone for too long to have any sort of clue.

“Where would you want to go?”

Matt smiled. Grinned, in fact. It changed his whole face, the way he was looking at her now, and Sveta knew that she was losing the last of her defenses, and the will to change his mind.

>>“No, I don’t think you can,”

Well... they were both adults. He was an adult, anyhow, and he could make up his own damn mind about how many times he wanted to get shot or kidnapped per week. But really, even beyond that, there were other questions to think about. Sveta hummed as he still held her. Some questions were more immediate than others.

>>“If I’m being completely honest, I haven’t thought that far yet. I didn’t plan much beyond getting to your office, actually... Where would you want to go?”

Your place or mine

Sveta rested her forehead against his for a moment, trying to gather her thoughts. It had been ages since she actually tried a relationship, something that was not implied to be a one-time thing. How did people normally do this? And how did people do this when nothing was normal?...

"Well, burning SUPER to the ground would be a nice start" she smirked finally, looking up at him "But until we get to that, you can ask me out?"

That stupid grin was pretty much plastered to his face by that point. Matt was unable to make his face go back to the way that it had been as she rested her forehead against his. He didn’t care about the consequences of spending time with her. He’d survived the last time, and it had to get easier, didn’t it? Either way, it was worth it to be able to keep something that made him feel more alive than he had in years.

Matt had formerly resolved to spend the rest of his time alone. He’d thought that it wasn’t worth the pain or pressure that would come with actually feeling something again. He hadn’t had anything that was for longer than a night in a very long time, and while the idea of something real scared the living daylights out of him, it was also exciting. He was alright giving up his comfortable numbness for the time being.

His hand traced back along to her jaw as he closed his eyes. Sveta was clearly thinking through things, which was fair. This had all be sprung on her, and she’d been trying to keep herself from feeling it. A change in headspace was required to figure things out. While she did so, he moved his thumb gently along her cheek, his hand cupping the side of her face.

Finally, she said something. It was hard not to chuckle at her first comment, which made his injury hurt just a little. Her second comment was a good one, though. His grin grew wider as he looked at her, anticipating an actual night of the something he’d been craving. “Yeah. I like that idea. When are you free next?”

Already, his mind was whirling as he thought through possible places that he could take her. Places that would suit her.