((OOC: Continued from He's Come Undone))

It was taking everything that she had to walk into that office without breaking. 

It had been a few minutes since she had seen Sam walk from the foyer to his office. She'd needed those few minutes to be able to make the choice to follow him, to deal with what needed to be dealt with. Everything inside her was still screaming to run in the other direction, but she ignored it, just as she'd ignored every other warning sign up until that point. 

She'd just watched the man that she shared a bed with stab himself after seeing someone that looked like someone he used to know. If there was anything in the world that could make her stomach churn, it was that. Her mind was still reeling, processing what she'd witnessed. All she wanted to do was go upstairs and sleep for a time while her mind processed, but that wasn't an option.

Gingerly, she opened the office door. She held it open at just a crack for a minute as she took in a deep breath, trying to stop the tears that wanted to spill from her eyes. She couldn't cry yet. Not yet. She needed to deal with this before she lost it.

Carefully, she opened the door enough for her to slip in past and then shut it behind her and locked it. No students needed to walk in there accidentally that night. Or anyone, for that matter. If they were going to do this here, then the door was the only thing stopping the rest of the school from overhearing all the details. Assuming that the walls were even soundproof.

She stood against the door, letting the wood structure be stronger than she was. She looked at him with the harshest look she could muster but didn't say anything. She didn't know where to start. 

Sam heard Juliette apologize to someone who looked like his ex-not real wife and he had to tell himself to keep moving forward so he wouldn’t stop and linger. Alexandra was the love of his life for what felt like decades it was hard to keep moving but none of it was real. The final curse Amanda had afflicted him with memories lingered and it was obvious some things couldn’t be forgotten no matter how much he drank or distracted himself.

Limping over to his chair Sam sat down and went for the drawer, it was something that he knew that Juliette would definitely not like but he was trying to process everything. He did just see the woman he married and raised two kids with. He had multiple life times with her so when he saw her even though she was supposedly was dead.

The bottle slammed on the desk with purpose the lid was off and two glasses were being poured he had a feeling Juliette was about to speak her mind and he wanted to get slightly ahead of it by distracting her with a drink. Even if she wasn’t going to take it.

”Sooo….not how I wanted any day for the rest of my life go.” he said with his eye down on his now filled glass. No ice. His leg hurt but with the it frozen over the bleeding would stop long enough for him to be good for a few hours. Sam decided after what just happened he’d need to be drunk to deal with anything else.

”I’m sure there’s a **** ton of questions. But yeah, that was my ex, girlfriend, and the S*** show that was the mind control thing, she was the wife and mother to my not real kids.” Sam waited a second before adding quickly because he’d figured it would help. ”She was dead. Obviously didn’t keep, third person this year too.” Sam took a long swig. ”I’m sorry for how I reacted. To her and then the leg.” Sam took another long swig.

Before any words were spoken, there was a bottle of alcohol on the desk. Of course there was a bottle of alcohol on the desk. It never seemed to be lingering too far away when Sam was around. Sometimes it didn't feel like he was trying in the slightest to cut back. Or like he cared about doing anything other than hiding it from her. Juliette raised a hand to her temple and shook her head.

Despite her anger at the fact that he was drinking again, she took the glass that she was offered. He wasn't going to be stopped, so why did she have to pretend like a drink wasn't the only thing she wanted in that moment. She swirled it once and then took a long sip, keeping her eyes on Sam the whole time.

Juliette waited while he explained a little of what she'd just witnessed. None of the explanation surprised her in the slightest. She might have been out of the loop, but she wasn't stupid. She had been able to gather the information herself, and she'd been right. The woman was his 'wife', Alexandra. The former love of his life that still seemed to follow him wherever he went.

Wonderful.

Again, she leaned back on the door and rested her head against the wood, trying to think of something to say. She didn't want any more explanations or reasons why he acted the way he did. She just wanted to deal with the fallout, whatever that meant.

She still didn't know what to say. Or what approach she wanted to take. After a minute, she came to a conclusion. "I... I can't do this, Sam," she said quietly. She followed it up with a long drink from her glass. The burn helped her focus. 

Silence for the moment was his best friend after he apologized there was nothing let to say and he wasn’t sure if she had anything to say as well. He poured himself another glass glad for the silence for a moment. Sam took another sip and then just like everything in his life it seemed his new best friend was leaving him as well.

>>>"I... I can't do this, Sam,"

It wasn’t a question, she was telling him she couldn’t do this and while he was willing to tell her he loved her an hour ago now it seemed like he was very wrong in thinking that way. Sam wanted to get upset, scream, shout and throw things but he didn’t. He embraced the one constant in his life and took a sip the burn helping him as much as it was helping her. Sam didn’t say anything for a moment as he collected his thoughts. Did he hate her for this?

”Thank you.” Sam said finally after another drink. He scratched the back of his head and leaned back in his chair trying not to make eye contact for a moment as if they locked eyes she’d see into him like she seemed to see into him all the time.

”For being honest firstly, and showing me that I’m capable of getting my own head out of my ***” he sipped again. She might not have seen a difference in the amount he drank but Sam noticed one. He was actually excited to wake up in the morning again and attempt to do work. He was less cynical and at the moment he didn’t want to slide back into his old habits but… Sam took a sip again then took the bottle and dropped it in the garbage can even with it being half full (he wanted to think he was an optimist now).

”I got too many problems, and you’re right.” Sam took a sip of his glass again as he leaned back into his chair again his eye shifting from the glass in his hand to the bottle in the trash then back to Juliette. ”You can’t do this and if I care about you at all I shouldn’t have to ask you. I’m the only one who can do anything for me.” Sam sipped his glass, ”You did more than you know though.” Sam said not trying to get into everything she had done for him.

Dammit. Why'd he have to do that?

She'd been poised and ready to end things like that, maybe even for a screaming match. She'd been ready for everything but that. Sam had gone and made himself a martyr. How was she supposed to deal with that? How was she supposed to stay angry and stay the course?

Juliette met his eyes and was yet again surprised by what she saw. His expression reminded her of something that she hadn't seen for a long time, actually. She remembered seeing it early on in their relationship, but she hadn't thought much of it. It was almost like she was looking at the person he used to be. Had she really done that much to change him?

The bottle dropped into the trash with a thunk, stealing Juliette's attention away. Again, another surprise. He was still drinking, but he'd thrown away a perfectly good bottle of expensive alcohol, almost as if to show her or himself what he was capable of doing. In that moment, it was not what she wanted to see. A week ago, sure, but it was not a week ago. Too many things had happened since that time.

>>”You did more than you know though.”

He'd just released her, absolved her of guilt, which almost made things worse. She didn't want to hear about all the things that she may have done to help him, or the fact that he was slowly coming out of his dark place. That only made what she had to do harder.

Worse, she was letting him think that the onus was entirely on him, which wasn't the case. There were several things that had made her come to that place, some of which weren't his fault. There she was, though, letting him take the blame. She silently hated herself for that.

She turned, not wanting to meet his eyes as the tears started again. Juliette hated everything about the situation, including what had gotten them there, but she knew that it needed to be done. They couldn't continue like that, and she couldn't live being his entire support system. There was too much damage for them to try to repair. 

"I'm sorry," she said quietly through fast-flowing tears, trying to stop herself from breaking down further. She just didn't have it in her to be strong. "I think this is for the best. For both of us." She really wasn't as good for him as he thought she was, even if he couldn't see it. She hoped that he would in time. 

Wishing he hadn’t thrown out the bottle as the tears started to flow he uncomfortably leaned back in his chair. Sam didn’t like to see women cry, so breakups were always difficult for him usually it ended with him leaving the next morning and then losing a phone number. This time was a little different. He actually wanted to keep things on good terms with Juliette. She was a team member and she lived across the hall meaning the quicker he got out of there the more awkward he’d feel about everything.

”Yeah…” Sam finally agreed he offered up a box of tissues as he got up. Bringing the glass with him. ”I’ll give you some space.” he already started to feel awkward and uncomfortable. It was his office but it seemed best to let her have it for now.

There was no crying on the other side of the room, or really any emotions shown at all. Juliette seemed to be the only one actually surprised by the events of that evening. Either Sam was the most well-adjusted person on the planet, or he was bottling up his emotions again. Juliette had her money on the latter.

She was crying and making a fool of herself while he was speaking about all the good that she had done and tossing alcohol out left and right, offering to give her space. Maybe she should have broken up with him months ago so that she could have seen that side of him. It was just too bad that she was past waiting.

”No, I’m going to go,” she announced, taking a tissue gratefully from the box. The last thing that she wanted was to be left alone in his office, of all places. Her room or anywhere else sounded like a much better option, even if it meant having to go through the rest of the mansion to get there.

An air of awkwardness had settled over them, and she didn’t want to prolong anything. They had reached an understanding, and there was no need to push things any further. If she stayed any longer, then she knew that she would say something or do something that she regretted and make things even worse. Besides, she didn’t want him to feel like he had to get out of his own office.

It seemed like they both knew what needed to come next. They would get out of each other’s way and try to make things work, despite any feelings. She suddenly knew why everyone said that it was such a bad idea to date someone that you spent a lot of time with.

She opened the door behind her and stepped out into the hallway, pausing before she walked away entirely. ”Goodbye, Sam,” she said quietly, giving him one last look before turning away. She would see him again, sure, but things would never be the same again. It seemed sort of fitting.